Kevin James inviting Amber Valletta over in “Hitch.” http://onthesetofnewyork.com/hitch
Have you ever wondered how to invite a woman back to your place… in a way that she’ll WANT to say yes? I know, I have.
Well, here’s the secret.
Before you invite her to your place, take her to another venue… bar, pizza joint, whatever. Once you walk into another place TOGETHER, you’re no longer strangers. You’re like a couple.
By the way, if she’s with a group of friends, it’s okay to have them come along, too. Being part of her group and winning over her friends is a good thing.
Anyway, once she’s out with you at another venue… something weird happens. Like I said, there’s a feeling like you’re on the same team, like you’ve known each other for a while.
Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaughey play foosball in “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/
If you take her to one or two more new venues in one night, it’s like you’ve been on three dates with her. There’s a feeling of “us.” Then when the venues are closing for the night, it’s natural to invite her to your place.
When she’s in bed with you wondering “Do I really know this guy?” and thinks about the four hours she’s spent with you, she remembers being in all those different places with you, and all those memories she’s had with you. It will feel like she’s known you for awhile. She’ll feel a lot more comfortable.
Now, contrast this to if you had spent four hours with her in one place. Same amount of time, but because it’s the SAME place where you were strangers in, you’ll still feel like a stranger to her.
So, next time you go out, “bounce” her as Mystery would say. Then you can invite her back to your place.
You can say something like “You should come over because I want to show you that (fill in the blank: ex. movie, fish tank, hot tub) we were talking about.”
It’s weird, but using the word “because” after a request makes it more attractive for a person to say yes. For example, if a person were to ask you, “can I cut you in line because I’m late for work,” you’d probably be more okay with it than if he asked “can I cut you?” for no reason at all.
And fill in the blank with something unrelated to sex. Don’t let her take responsibility for sex. If she has to, she might appear like a “slut,” so chances are higher that she’ll resist. Take the lead. Make coming over to your place non-sexual. She knows what’s going on, but you’ve made it plausible for her to deny that she came over for sex. And she can tell her friends the next day “it just happened.” Nice.
The point is, before you invite her to your place, invite her to other places with you. Get that yes-ladder momentum going. Let her get to know you and feel “together” with you. Then when it comes time to invite her over, it’s a natural.
Spend time with her in different places before you invite her up.
Get in the driver’s seat and take the WHOLE group for a fun ride.
I was re-reading parts of The Game, and I had a revelation. When you DHV, don’t DHV to the target. DHV to the guys and to the ugly girls. The target? Ignore her.
Here’s the idea behind this…
Beautiful Women Aren’t Different From Anyone Else
“10”
Let’s talk about beautiful women for a sec. I’m talking about the most UNUSUALLY beautiful women. The 9’s and 10’s. The ones you don’t see everyday, and when you do see one you lose the ability to remember your name.
These women are so outstandingly beautiful that a lot of us guys think we have to treat them differently. We’re either too afraid to talk to them, and just stand by the sidelines and stare… Or we give her all sorts of compliments and buy her drinks and dinner.
As you know and I know, that ain’t gonna work to attract them.
When dealing with these freaks of nature, the thing to keep in mind is… they’re used to getting lots of attention, just because of their physical appearance. They’re used to being treated special because of their physical beauty, and not appreciated for their inner qualities.
On the one hand, it’s lonely being beautiful. No one sees her for who she is. Her beauty creates distance from everyone else.
On the other hand, she also wants to be UNUSUALLY beautiful, and she wants you to know it.
Look at the hours and dollars she spends making herself with makeup, getting her skin soft, smelling good, getting her hair done, choosing just the right outfit, buying the right shoes, obsessing about her weight, removing hair in weird places, even in some cases getting plastic surgery.
Girls spend a lot of time and money looking beautiful
And acting the part of someone with an air of untouchable beauty.
Beauty gives women power. Why? Because their beauty makes a lot of us guys give our “power” away to them.
She wants to be the most beautiful woman in the room, and when we approach her, she wants to reject us. It makes her feel important.
So, the idea is to do the opposite of putting her on a pedestal. You CHALLENGE her.
In the case of Mystery’s Method, when you approach a group of people that has that INCREDIBLY beautiful woman in it… remember, women are rarely found alone… that means you actually pay attention to everyone else in the group, but her. And if she says anything TEASE her.
The message is: “You’re not getting special treatment from me just because you’re beautiful. You’re a human being just like the rest of us. ”
This creates a HUGE challenge. I mean for her, most guys are just this blur of compliments, sexual predatoriness, or approval-seeking. So when she find a guy who treats her like a human being just like everyone else, he STANDS OUT. He’s the type of a guy she doesn’t come across everyday. She does a double take. She’s attracted.
The Basic Format To All Approaches, By Mystery
Mystery smiling large
So, let me share with you the passage that gave me this revelation. It’s a handout Mystery used to hand out to his workshops. You can see it on page 35 of The Game. It’s his basic format to his all his approaches.
1. Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate–approach instantly.
2. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row.
3. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.
4. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. Tell her, “It’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.” Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.
5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes, and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, but only for the obstacles.
6. Neg the target, if appropriate. If she wants to look at the pictures, for example, say “Oh my god, she’s so grabby. How do you roll with her?”
7. Ask the group, “So, how does everyone know each other?” If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they’ve been together.
8a. If it’s a serious relationship, eject politely by saying, “Pleasure meeting you.”
8b. If she is not spoken for, say to the group, “I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?” They always say, “Uh, sure. If it’s okay with her.” If you’ve executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree.
9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, it’s on. Start looking for other IOIs.
10. Sit with her and perform a rune reading, an ESP test, or any other demonstration that will fascinate and intrigue her.
11. Tell her, “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI.
12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word “So?” If she does, then you’ve now seen three IOIs and can…
13. Kiss close. Say, out of the blue, “Would you like to kiss me?” If the setting or circumstances aren’t conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, “I have to go, but we should continue this.” Then get her number and leave.
Mystery’s negs. From page 35 of “The Game,” by Neil Strauss
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. Hey did you see the fight outside? (Girl Fight Story)
3. That’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.
4. Multiple thread The Hollywood Sign Story, ESP, and a qualifier to different people:
“Do you have a good imagination? You do? I want you to think of a number from 1 – 4. We’re starting small, that’s why we’re starting with you. That’s right, I said it! Do you have it in your mind? Don’t say it, just think it. The first number that pops into your head. Got it?
“I’m curious about something before we get to that. Is there more to you than meet the eye? I mean, don’t get a big head. There’s a lot of beautiful people around us, right? Beauty is very common. Would you not agree? You know what’s really rare?
“Are you thinking of that number? Focusing? 3. Nice! (or, if incorrect “And that’s why ESP is bullshit.”) Let’s up the stakes (or let’s try it again). Pick a number this time from 1 -10. You got it? Nice.
“Oh, by the way, have you ever been to the Hollywood sign? (You can create your own variation of this story based on something similar to the Hollywood sign in your hometown. For example, everywhere there’s a place where you get away from it all to look at the stars.) Have you ever gone to the base of it? Have you climbed up to it? Well, I went with a lovely girl (preselection switch) at the time and went up to the sign. It takes a good 40 minutes and you have to climb a fence. Next time you go, bring good shoes that will get you up there with no problem. Because you don’t want to get up there with leather shoes like I did, like a moron. That was my learning experience. But when you’re up there you can see all of Hollywood in one eye shot and it really gives you the clarity that anything is possible if you dream. Then you see it all in one eye shot. It’s inspiring.
“You got that number in your mind? 7. Nice. See, what’s really rare is a great outlook and a great personality, a great energy. That’s rare. You’ve got 2 out of 3. That’s a great start.”
5. So, how does everyone know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
OR
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool.
8. Kino hand-squeeze test as you lead her through crowd.
9. Have you ever done of The Cube? (The Cube)
10. Stop talking… she reinitiates the conversation.
11. Would you like to kiss me?
12. I have to go, we should continue this. Get her number. (OR Bounce her: Let’s get back to your friends. There’s a great place across the street. We should go with you and your friends.)
Sample Script (Style)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds
2. Hey, let me get your take on something. I’ve only got a sec but… (Jealous Girlfriend)
3. Wow, you guys are like from the View. This one I can tell we would NOT get along.
4. Multiple thread Ring Routine, The Best Friend Test, C & U Smiles:
“I have to ask before I run. Do you always wear a ring on that finger? The reason I’m asking is the finger a person chooses to put a ring on says something about their personality. The fact you wear a ring on that finger says something fascinating about you. Let me see your hand. Back in ancient Greece, each mound represented a different god. And a person back then would put a ring on the associated finger to honor that god.
“Oh my God, hold on a sec. How long have you known each other? See I knew that! Well, for one, you have the same exact smile. And for two, well, I’ll just give you the Best Friend Test. Ready? Do you use the same shampoo? (They look at each other first) You don’t even have to answer, you already passed. You looked at each other before even answering the question. You just did it again. And again. See, if you weren’t close, you’d keep eye contact with me. But when two people have a connection, they make eye contact first, even over something as mundane as shampoo. Nice.
“Okay, so the rings. Very interesting what it says about each of you. The thumb represented Hades, the god of the underworld. He was one of the few gods that lived separate from Mount Olympus, just like the thumb is separate from the other fingers. So, someone who wears a ring on this finger is independent and doesn’t like to follow other people’s trends. Instead, they like to make their own.
“The index finger was Zeus, and he was the king of the gods. And just like when a mother is scolding their daughter (act this out), someone who wears a ring on this finger has an inclination to take charge.
“The middle finger was Dionysus, the god of wine and partying and having a great time. And just like this finger represents something that’s not G-rated, someone who wears a ring on this finger has a little bit of a wild side. So, watch out for her. She’s trouble.
“Haha. Smile for me again? You have a U Smile! That’s awesome. Well there’s U smiles and C smiles. The U Smile is when you smile and your teeth go straight back into your mouth like a horse. And the C Smile is when you smile and all you see is a row of pearly whites in the front. If you ever look on the cover of like Cosmo or Glamour, the girl always has a C Smile. You have a U smile, but don’t worry, I still think you’re hot… in that short school bus sort of way. *smile*
“So, the ring finger is one of the coolest. This was Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And you can look this up, it’s true. This finger is the only one that has a vein that goes straight to your heart without branching off. (demo line going from finger to her heart). So anyone who wears a ring on this finger is actually making a direct connection with their heart. That’s why to this day we’ll wear our wedding ring on this finger.
“Finally, the pinky finger was Ares, the god of war. And you’ll notice a lot of mobsters will wear their ring on this finger. Someone who wears a ring on this finger has some inner turmoil or conflict within. They like to fight. And if you had given someone a pinky ring back then it mean ‘fuck you’ or ‘go to hell.’
“And for someone who doesn’t wear rings, like me that meant you were aligned with Hermes. He was one of the most mischievous of the gods. And he was the one that flew from Mount Olympus to earth. So, someone who doesn’t wear rings is open-minded, loves to travel, likes to be helpful, but has a little bit of a mischievous side. And that’s definitely me. But your personality is… Any truth to that? Pretty cool, right? You guys are awesome.”
5. So, how do you all know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
OR
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool. Have you ever done the Cube? (You could also do EV or Secret Self here too)
8. Beauty is common.
9. Stop talking.
10. Evolution Phase Shift Routine.
11. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her and her friends
Sample Script (Brad P)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. You look familiar. Do you like horses? (Tell the story to the whole group)
3. Do you mind if I talk to your friend for a sec?
4. Have you ever had your palm read? (Brad P’s Palm Reading)
5. Beauty is common…
6. Stop talking
7. On a scale of 1 – 10, how good of a kisser are you?
8. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her
Sample Script (My own)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. I have this rule that whenever I see someone attractive I have to at least say hi.
3. Quit looking at my chest my eyes are up here.
4. You guys seem really cool. My passion in life is writing. Are you passionate? What’s something you guys enjoy doing?
6. I’m making her my new girlfriend. We’re gonna fly to Vegas tomorrow and get married. You can be Catwoman, and I’ll be Batman. It’ll be awesome.
7. Do you mind if I talk to her for a sec?
8. I want to show you something really cool. Someone just did this with me recently. It’s a great, quick way to get to know someone. In fact, a lot of people don’t even know this about themselves. (Use her answer about passion as a springboard to Style’s EV)
9. Beauty is common…
10. Stop talking.
11. Brush hair out of face, and kiss.
12. We should continue this, and get her number… or bounce her.
Conclusion
Next time you go out, try out any of the scripts I’ve given you that’s most aligned with your personality.
When you deliver the DHV, make sure to do it to the ones you’re NOT interested in. Make eye contact with EVERYONE. Your target? Neg her. This allows you to convey your personality and win over her friends. And with the target, the negs/banter/cocky-funny lines create sexual tension and show her you’re that rare man that’s interested more in a woman’s inner beauty than her superficial, external shell.
1. “The number one characteristic of an alpha male is the smile. Smile when you enter a room. As soon as you walk in a club, the game is on. And by smiling, you look like you’re together, you’re fun, and you’re somebody.
2. “Be well-groomed.”
Shower. Soap yourself at least three times to smell really clean. Brush your teeth. Make sure your breath smells good. Carry gum if you have to. Put on a great smelling deodorant. If you’re going to put on cologne, make sure it’s just a DAB. Have your fashion together: wear at least one interesting item of clothing. If you look average, you’re going to get average girls. Alpha males don’t blend in, they stand out. At the very least, dress the best you can.
3. “Possess a sense of humor.”
See my post “Flirting” for more info on this. Banter, cocky-funny, and negs are all great techniques to make women laugh in an attractive way.
4. “Connect with people.”
Don’t do all the talking. Listen. That means get where a person is coming from. Put yourself in their shoes. Also, at bottom, every person wants to feel important. Don’t knock people down. Make people feel important.
5. “Be the social center of a room.”
See my post “The Key To Picking Up Chicks Is Not Picking Them Up” for more on this. Mystery is famous for saying “there are the observers and the observed. Be the observed.” The three second rule isn’t just opening the first attractive women you see. It means opening the first people you see period. Talk to everyone, even if it’s a simple “How’s your night going?” Bartenders, Bouncers, ugly girls, guys. Be the social center of a room.
6. “Confidence.”
Confidence comes from competence. You’re the prize. You’re the selector. Not her. If you don’t know this about yourself yet, fake it till you make. Dwell on your positive attributes and your accomplishments (not your drawbacks and failures). Keep telling yourself you’re the catch and she’s lucky talking with you. That belief translates into confidence. And women will smell it off you like cologne.
You can find these six characteristics in “The Game” by Neil Strauss (page 21-22).
For now, practice smiling when you enter a room. When you’re walking down the street, give a smile to at least three people. And next time you’re at a register, ask the cashier “how’s your day going?” or try out a banter line on her. You’ll be on your way to developing confidence, and the characteristics of an alpha male.
Let’s say you’re getting REALLY great with women. You’ve been going out four times a week for the last eight months, you’ve been keeping track of your approaches, and girls are starting to respond BEAUTIFULLY. They’re laughing, you’re the most interesting guy in the room, and you’re making them chase.
Guess what? You’re going to have a whole new problem on your hands. More than one girl is going to want sex from you.
I know, I know. This is a problem? Haha Well, it’s a QUALITY problem.
For example, let me ask you this question. Is it okay to sleep with more than one woman at the same time?
Hell, yeah.
You object you say? Well, check out my take on the whole subject.
As long as a girl knows you’ve got other women in your life, and she’s okay with that, I see absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with multiple women at the same time.
I’ll say it again. As long as you’re HONEST about the fact that you sleep with other women and she agrees to that condition, how are you being dishonest or unethical about sleeping with other women?
And this goes without saying, but use protection. Of course.
Here’s the other side to this. If you tell a woman you’re going to be faithful to her and you both agree to these terms, then be faithful. Break up with her before you cheat on her.
But if you’re single, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeing multiple women. In fact, it can be a good thing.
I mean, would you buy the first shirt you try on in a store, or would you try on different ones to see which fit best? So, how are you supposed to find a woman who’s right for you if you get into a monogamous relationship with the first woman you sleep with?
Now, the big question is this. HOW do you be honest with a woman that you’re sleeping with other women in a way that doesn’t turn her off?
Excellent question.
And let me just say right here that… not every girl is gonna love the idea. That’s okay. But you’ll be surprised how many girls will be totally okay with it. To make her feel comfortable with it, there’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
Believe me, I’ve done the wrong way many times. So, learn from my mistakes. I’m gonna give you six steps to follow. By the way, I learned these from Brad P and Joshua Pellicier, and have field tested them myself. They work.
STEP #1. SOW THE SEED.
Sow the seed in the first ten to fifteen minutes of meeting her. You’ve got a few ways to do this.
Option #1: Banter. Joke about how you’ve got a lot of girlfriends. Or if she’s grabbing at you, tell her to take a number. Or if she says something you like, tell her you’re going to make her your Tuesday girlfriend and if she’s good, you’ll make her your Friday girlfriend (where the real fun is). Come up with your own stuff if you’d like. But play the role of a guy who’s got lots of girls in his life.
She’ll get the message on a subconscious level. Like the old adage goes, jokes have a kernel of truth.
Option #2: Tell stories. You can tell stories about how you’re from out of town, or you can tell an embarrassing story about how you’ve got girls fighting over you (see “Wrong Number” story under the “Funny Stories” section of “My Routines Collection” for an example).
Option #3. Tell her you’re polyamorous. (credit: Joshua Pellicier) This is probably the best way to go, because it’s the most upfront. No gray areas here. Here’s an example of how that exchange might go:
You: “How did your last relationship end?”
She: “Oh, he was jealous. It ended. Whatever.”
You: “I don’t have that problem anymore because I changed something about the way I’m in relationships now. But yeah… I remember what that was like and it completely sucks!”
She: Talks about jealousy, fear, lying, apathy, or selfishness.
You: “You know that doesn’t happen in a polyamorous relationship. Have you ever considered just being polyamorous with guys that make you feel that way?”
She: “What is polyamory?”
You: “Poly means many and amor means love, so polyamory means lots of loves. I have many girlfriends at the same time. They’re free to date who they want, too. And if a girl’s not comfortable with it, I don’t date her. But they all know about each other ahead of time.”
If she’s not cool with it, then you don’t date her.
STEP #2. ANSWER OBJECTIONS.
Here’s some objections you might get and how to handle them. Again, credit goes to Joshua Pellicer for this.
Objection #1: “I could never do that.”
Response: “Hey, it’s not for everyone. But if you ever meet a guy who’s good at it, I highly suggest you try it out. It’s an amazing experience because there’s no relationship drama. A lot of the girls who are dating me are doing it for the first time, and love it. Not a lot of guys know how to do it right, but if you ever run into another one, try it out. It’s fun.”
She: “Okay, yeah, I’ll try that out”
Objection #2: “Are you sleeping with all of them?”
Response: “Well, yeah, most of them. I mean I’m not going to deprive them of sex. But we also have a 100% protection rule. We always use protection. But, yeah, I’m sleeping with most of them.”
Objection #3: “What kind of girl would actually do that?”
Response: “Girls like you that are confident. They’re trying it out for the first time, and are completely comfortable with it.”
Objection #4: “Do they all know about each other?”
Response: “Absolutely. If she’s not comfortable with it, then I don’t date her. I don’t sleep with her, nothing.”
Objection #5: “So you’re cheating then?”
Response: “No. All the girls all know about each other. And they’re all cool with it. You can’t cheat. Everyone is open about seeing other people, so there’s no cheating.”
Objection #6: “So you never want to get married?”
Response: “I definitely do. I’m in a dating phase of my life. But someday I hope I get married. And someday they’ll probably get married and I hope that for them. They’ll leave and that’s okay.”
Objection #7: “What kind of girls are these girls?”
Response: “They’re from all walks of life. There’s a girl who’s from Thailand. There’s a girl who’s studying to become a CNA. There’s a girl who’s a waitress. There’s a girl who’s a real estate agent. There’s a girl who works in a bookstore. There’s a girl who’s a stripper, a hippie, and a teacher. ”
If you don’t have any girlfriends, you can say: “I’m not sleeping with all of them”… and “The girls I’ve dated in the past are from all walks of life.”
STEP 3. ESCALATE QUICKLY. Escalate physically quickly, touching often. Act the role of a seducer, not someone who’s courting her.
But when you escalate, remember to push her away, too. This creates sexual tension. Pull her in and push her away. Logic goes out the door for her. All that’s on her mind is… yum.
STEP 4. REINFORCEMENT.
This step is all-important. Women will believe your actions more than your words. If you say you don’t want a relationship, but then ACT like you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to believe your words. More important than talking about it is ACTING it.
What does that mean?
Don’t buy her dinners or do other “courting” behaviors before you sleep with her.
Don’t sleep with her more than twice a week.
Don’t call her more than twice a week.
Don’t email her more than four times a week.
These are guidelines I’ve picked up from Brad P that I’ve been found to be solid.
The more often you see a woman in a week, the more she’ll think she’s your girlfriend even if you say you don’t want one. But the less contact you have with her in a week, the more she’ll believe your words.
Here’s four other reinforcement techniques you can use that I picked up from Pellicier.
#1. Ask her opinion of other girls: “What do you think about that girl?”
#2. Fish for jealousy: “That girl is hot.” If she get jealous, bad sign. She won’t be okay with you sleeping with other girls.
#3. Don’t be available: “Hey, I won’t be available to hang out until Thursday.” If she ever asks you to cancel plans, reinforce polyamory: “Remember this is a polyamorous relationship. I’m still here for you, but on my own terms.” If that doesn’t work, run. You’ve got a jealous girl on your hands.
#4. Don’t build rapport too fast: Get things sexual fast. THEN build rapport. Too much rapport before sex can lead to hurt feelings, confusion or anger. Keep the emotional connection mellow, until later.
STEP 5. SEX.
Give her an amazing sexual experience. Give her orgasms. And she’ll keep coming back for more.
And it’s courteous to sleep with her at least twice. It shows you cared about her experience.
STEP SIX. AFTER SEX.
It’s okay to cuddle and connect with her. But connect like a friend, not a boyfriend. Keep things light with some fun banter, or go into normal conversation or light rapport, not the deep rapport.
DON’T make any plans with her. She can tell you about her problems, ask advice, share what’s going on in her life… but if she starts to talk future stuff, cut it off. Reinforce this relationship is polyamorous.
If you can, let her stay. Have breakfast. If she needs a ride, give her one.
But once she leaves, keep up the search. Don’t get too attached to one person, unless you want a monogamous relationship.
Okay, so those are the six steps.
Pick a way to sow the seed from Step #1 and incorporate it into your stack. Next time you go out, sow the seed within ten minutes. Believe in your bones you’re a catch. Act the part of a man women want. She’ll believe it on an emotional level and she’ll feel attraction. Acting the part of a man with an abundance of women in his life happens to also be THE critical piece to attracting women.
Every man should go through this experience. It raises your confidence and I’ve personally learned so much about myself and about women going through it. Also, when you do find that one good woman, it makes monogamy that much sweeter.
Just remember, when you do go through this, do it in a way that always leaves a woman better off than when you first met her.
Like the old saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words. It’s one thing to read about pickup, it’s another thing to actually SEE it in action.
One reason so many of us guys have gotten stuck during our pickup journey is because we’re inundated with THEORY. Theory is great if you want to take a midterm exam, but it’s next to USELESS in the field.
Then we get criticized by all the “gurus” for only reading about pickup rather than getting out into the field. Well, duh! That’s how we’re being taught. Students reflect their teachers.
Anyway, I wanted to give you a few videos so you can SEE attraction and pickup in action. That way your subconscious will pick up lessons you can’t from just reading. Watch and learn. And you’ll be better prepared what to do in the field.
Here’s all my routines. Check em out if you’d like.
I know there’s a lot of controversy over using routines. Here’s my take on them.
Without routines, chances are you’ll fall flat on your face. They’re icebreakers. Use them and not only will you break the ice, you can lead the conversation somewhere. Best of all, after using routines for a while, you’ll get to the point where you won’t need them anymore.
Here’s how I organized them all:
PHASE ONE: ATTRACT
A1 Open.
1. Direct
2. Indirect
A2. Banter/Neg (part 1 of 2)
1. Banter Lines
2. Funny Stories
3. Kino
4. Contingencies
A2. DHV (part 2 of 2)
1. Your Passion
2. Observations About Her
3. Super Optional “Bubble Gum” Routines
A3. Qualify (part 1 of 3)
1. What’s Beyond Your Looks?
2. Are You Passionate?
3. What Abilities Do You Have?
4. What Interests Do You Have?
A3. Statement of Interest (part 2 of 3)
A3. Isolate or Number Close (part 3 of 3)
1. Isolation Close
2. Number Close
PHASE TWO: COMFORT
Create an Emotional Connection
PHASE THREE: SEDUCTION
Setting a Romantic/Sensual Mood
1. Romantic Questions
2. Ross Jeffries’ Patterns
3. Sexual Subjects
Going for the Kiss
Extract to Seduction Location
END GAME: FOREPLAY AND SEX
I give you routines at every step of the way. They’re organized within the structure that I use… based on The Mystery Method, of course:
A reason for talking with her
Banter within your first TWO sentences. Communicates “I’m not trying to get you”
Initiate a topic of conversation that gives value to her
Qualify her.
State your interest in her.
Either isolate her or make plans for a Day 2
Create an emotional connection
Kiss her… but don’t make-out yet
Invite her to a “sex location”
Build anticipation with foreplay
Give her orgasms
Afterglow
Attract first, create an emotional connection second, and seduce last.
If you check these routines out, use the guidelines I give you in how to practice them. I’ve practiced these the wrong way and it just confused me. The wrong way, by the way, is trying to learn too many at once. Hello paralysis. Learn from my mistake. Master just one routine at a time.
And start practicing right now. If you stay on the path being consistent, you’ll become a pickup artist to contend with. Guaranteed. Even better, the whole process will change your life. I know it did for me.
Let’s say you’re standing in a bar talking with a girl. Where do you put your hands? How do you stand?
Put your hands to your sides. If you keep your arms at a 90 degree angle, it looks stiff. If you cross your arms, you block your heart. It’s defensive and closed. If you put your hands in your pocket, that’s also defensive.
However, if you keep your hands to your sides, it looks natural and RELAXED.
Relaxed = confidence.
It might feel uncomfortable having your hands at your sides at first. It’s like you want to do something with your hands. Try this trick.
Press your middle finger and thumb together.
It’s a trick that’s been around for awhile, and it works. It gives your hands something to do. It eliminates any nervous ticks. And it forces you to stand still and calm.
Same thing goes when you hold your drink. It’s not recommended to drink while you’re out approaching. You want your mind to be as clear as possible. Would you play chess when you’re buzzed? But let’s say you do order a beer or a glass of water or something. If you’re standing, how do you hold your drink?
Again, relax your arm. Don’t hold your drink in a way that blocks your heart. And don’t hold your arm at a 90 degree angle. It’s stiff. Hold your drink with your arm extended to your side. It’s more open. It’s relaxed. And you look the opposite of insecure… you look right at home.
When standing, the same idea of relaxation applies. Don’t stand with your weight perfectly distributed on your right and left foot.
DON’T stand like this – stiff
This makes you look like a stiff square. Instead, lean most of your weight on one foot, like in the picture below.
DO stand like this – relaxed
Again, it makes you look more natural and relaxed.
I wrote up a post about body language here. I’ve got a lot more tricks and tips there.
But whenever you’re in doubt, remember to relax. Keep your drink and your hands to your sides. When you relax, it makes the woman you’re talking with feel relaxed, too. You can’t seduce her unless she’s relaxed.
This is such a simple technique, but a lot of guys don’t do it.
Ready for it?
Walk away.
Simple as that.
You can do this when you approach a woman. And you can do it when you’re on a day 2 with her.
Tell me if you’ve ever felt this way when you’re on a Day 2 with her.
You walk into a local shop together to look around, and you feel like you have to be attached to her hip every step of the way.
Ever done that before? I know I have.
Yikes.
Luckily, you don’t have to do that. In fact, DON’T.
Walk away. Give her a little space. Check out something that catches your eye, then rejoin her.
You’ll be WAAAAAAAAY more attractive if you do.
Same exact thing on the approach.
God knows I’ve made this mistake. Tell me if it sounds familiar.
You see a hot girl with a friend or two walking to a bar. You stop them, and you stand perfectly square across from the hot one, with your feet planted in the cement like you were a statue and you deliver your entire opener to her, completely ignoring the other girls.
Then you wonder why the hot girl is looking for an escape, and why her friends are trying to drag her away.
Okay, so obviously ignoring the friends = bad. Make eye contact with every person in the group. Wanna keep everyone’s attention? Hello eye contact.
And then of course, don’t plant your feet into the pavement. What, are you a tree now? And don’t have your body perfectly square to one girl.
Walk away.
Have your feet and your body face away from her, as if you’re about to leave. Better yet, stand side by side with one of the girls.
Ahhhhh. Much better. And much friendlier.
After you deliver your opener, walk away if you have to. You can always notice something else, like their ring, and continue the conversation with something like the ring routine.
Or if you run into them again, you can say hi. No longer strangers. Nice.
And of course, if you walk away, there’s a good chance they’ll want to reengage you.
Why?
There’s something about walking away that creates attraction.
You don’t have to be the most incredibly polite person the world has ever seen. You can be a normal human being. And walk away.
We pursue that which retreats. The negative space creates attraction. A negative pole draws in the positive. Giving her that space makes her feel more comfortable, and it allows her to come to you.
“And because she’s served with all the attentions due to a god by a lover who is not pretending otherwise but is truly in the throes of love, and because she’s disposed to be a friend of the man who’s serving her (even if she… initially rejects the lover)… she lets the man spend time with her. It is a decree of fate, you see, that bad is never friends with bad, while good cannot fail to be friends with good. Now that she allows her lover to talk and spend time with her, and the man’s good will is close at hand, the girl is amazed by it as she realizes that all the friendship she has… is nothing compared to that of this friend who’s inspired by a god.
After the lover has spent some time doing this, staying near the girl (even touching her… on occasions), then the spring… named ‘Desire’… begins to flow mightily in the lover and is partly absorbed by her, and when she is filled, it overflows and runs away outside her. Think how a breeze or an echo bounces back from a smooth solid object to its source; that is how the stream of beauty goes back to the beautiful girl and sets her aflutter. It enters through her eyes, which are its natural route to the soul; there it waters the passages for the wings, starts the wings growing, and fills the soul of the loved one with love in return. Then the girl is in love, but has no idea what she loves. She does not understand, and cannot explain, what has happened to her. It is as if she had caught an eye disease from someone else, but could not identify the cause; she does not realize that she is seeing herself in the lover as in a mirror. So when the lover is near, the girl’s pain is relieved just as the lover’s is, and when they are apart she yearns as much as she is yearned for, because she has a mirror image of love in him–‘back love’– though she neither speaks nor thinks of it as love, but as friendship. Still, her desire is nearly the same as her lover’s, though weaker: he wants to see, touch, kiss, and lie down with her; and of course, as you might expect, she acts on these desires soon after they occur..
Meanwhile… swelling with desire, confused, she hugs her lover and kisses him in delight at his great good will. And whenever they are lying together she’s completely unable, for her own part, to deny the lover any favor he might beg to have… Now if victory goes to the better elements in both their minds… their life here below is one of bliss and shared understanding.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to learn this learn this lesson. I’m still learning it. It’s a mindset. And it’s huge.
When you’re picking her up, get ego out of the way.
What does that mean?
Get “I’m so awesome” depending on her liking you out of your head. And get “I suck” depending on her scoffing you out of your head.
As if you want to be liked by her SO MUCH. Who’s she to be the judge of you? You know who you are. Be the one who likes HER first. Don’t wait for her to like you.
After all, who cares what she thinks of you? Like yourself. That’s all you need. Then you can worry about liking her.
What is it about ego that trips us up? Maybe it makes us focused on how we look on the outside, rather than who we really are from the inside. Not sure.
Just give her feeling good. Not in order to be liked. Not to kiss her ass. But, just to give. No strings attached. Not to get a trophy. Not to “get” her. Just to spread the good “spirit” you feel within to the world. ‘Cause it’s overflowing anyway.
We all want to feel important. But just as a gentleman lets a woman enter a building first, and lets her come first in bed, let her feel this first during a pickup. Give feeling good to her.
