Game, Part 2: Unity of Opposites

Tension comes from opposites

Game is: balancing interest and disinterest.

What’s the constant throughout the three phases of Game, attraction, comfort, and seduction? What unifies them as one “Game”? What is Game anyway?

If we guys can understand what Game is, we’ll be able to play it like a master. We’ll be able to attract the women we want and keep them attracted. Here’s what Game is: Game has to do with the interplay between interest and disinterest.

  • It’s about giving and taking away.
  • Taking a step forward and taking a step back.
  • You’re interested but not quite.
  • I like you, but you can’t have me…yet
  • Push the boundary and back off.
  • Show warmth and freeze out
  • Yes, no.

When we push her away it creates an empty space between us and her that draws her toward us, like a magnet. The more you say no to a woman, the more she’ll want in. We pursue that which retreats from us, after all.

But if you push her away too much, you’ll push her away all together. That’s why you also need to show you’re interested in her as well.

That’s Game. To draw near and to retreat, over and over again.

  • It begins in A-1 (approach) the SECOND we approach. Approaching is interest. Within two sentences lean back, begin to walk away, tease/neg. Disinterest.
  • Continues through A-2 (attract her). Telling stories is interest. So, during a story, neg: “Ew, I don’t want her”—playfully of course. Disinterest. This is to make you different from all the other suitors who are buying her drinks and complimenting her looks.
  • Continues through A-3 (qualification). Asking questions is interest. A QUALIFYING question, like “What have you got going for you besides your looks?” is disinterest.
  • Compliments must have spice, too. Ever noticed how we feel more comfortable with compliments when there’s a playful spice mixed in with it? “Oh my God, you’re a ballerina? (props) I can’t even talk to you (push away)!” Interest and disinterest.

A good spank here and there can be a good thing

  • Happens in kino escalation. Touch her hand, but throw it away. Smell her, but tell her “I’m not in that mind space.” Kiss her, and say “that’s enough.”
  • Happens in comfort. Building a connection is interest. Sprinkle in play-fighting. Disinterest.
  • Happens in sex. Smell her neck, interest. Don’t touch her, disinterest. Kiss her, interest. Back off, disinterest. Kiss around her clitoris, interest. Don’t lick her clitoris yet, disinterest. Put your tip in, interest. Don’t go all the way in, even if she begs. Disinterest.
  • Happens in relationship maintenance. Appreciate your woman, interest. Play-fight with her, disinterest. It must never stop. Show interest and disinterest even when you’re married with kids. Push away, pull in. Pull in, push away. That’s Game. It keeps the spark alive in a relationship.


Game is the middle way between Mr. Nice Guy and The Player. Game says “I want you,” but it doesn’t put her on a pedestal. Game says “You’re cool,” but it shows you’re fine with or without her.

You’re not excessively Mr. Nice Guy, a kiss-ass. But you’re a gentleman and treat her with kindness. You’re not deficient in being Mr. Nice Guy, a prick. But you can put your foot down and be respectfully assertive when need be. There’s a BALANCE of interest and disinterest. Game is a Golden Mean.

All great art, music, painting, or poetry unify opposites into a whole. Game is no different.

Why play Game at all?

Game lets us interact with a woman as a human being. It allows us to reach her spirit. It bypasses the social masks we put up to the world, covering our true selves. How? Because it makes her laugh. It touches her heart. It creates rapport. It builds sexual tension, inviting her to come to us.

Game lets the road to sex to become a process, not a destination.

Game lets us communicate in a woman’s language of emotion and indirectness rather than ours of factual directness.

Yep. Ready for sex. We see a banging body we’re ready for sex INSTANTLY. Women work a little differently. 

Game lets us to speak to the woman inside a woman, whether she’s a college student or a tenured professor.

In the end, probably the biggest reason why it’s so effective is because there’s nothing serious or personal about Game. It’s just play. It’s fun. It’s a game.

When you play the game right, the ego’s gone. And that’s pure bliss.

It’s all just play

11 thoughts on “Game, Part 2: Unity of Opposites

  1. Cupid_007

    a huge part of game is balancing interest and disinterest. push and pull. punish and reward. timing is super key of course.

    but game isn’t just balancing interest and disinterest it’s also balancing many other elements too.
    like aggression vs tender. super dominant vs more laid back dominant.

    the key to balance is finding just the right middle. the sweet spot.

    1. renaissan

      I’d like to hear more about your divisions. They sound VERY interesting, but I’m not 100% clear on what you mean. I get #2 (inner-game), #4 and #5 (outer-game). But what’s the difference between skills and tactics and maybe even guidelines? What are some examples of “styles of game”?

      As for your other comment about finding the sweet spot between interest and disinterest, absolutely. Push a girl away too much, you’ll push her away altogether. But pull her in too much, she’ll run. So, you’ve gotta balance both. That’s where the art comes in. Well said!

  2. Cupid_007

    i divide all of game into different categories because research has proven that organized knowledge helps retention rates. being able to associate every piece of new information into a category is important.

    1. Theory
    a. abstract vs concrete/practical
    b. deep vs superficial

    2. Mentality/Attitudes
    3. Lifestyle

    4. Style
    5. Strategy/Method
    6. Guidelines
    7. Tactics
    8. Combos
    9. Sequences
    10. Routines/Lines/Phrases
    11. Skills

    1. Theory. All of game is based on it. It’s the ultimate foundation of everything. Everything has to be able to be drawn back to this. Everything has to have a basis in theory.

    2. Attitude. Internalizing concepts. Like really, really believing from the bottom of your heart “I AM THE FUCKIN PRIZE!!”

    3. Lifestyle. This is included in inner game because our life-style actually changes our personality from day to day. This is why: first we create our habits and then our habits create us.

    4. Style. In the beginning of magic bullets savoy explains that are different dating systems. For example VA versus LoveSystems versus RSD versus Nice guy game versus Rich guy game versus complete douchebag jerk game vs DAYGAME vs NIGHTGAME vs ONLINE GAME vs SOCIAL CIRCLE GAME. Everyone has their own system how they approach the dating world. Everything to follow is based off it. It’s better to stick to one system otherwise = incongruent. Another example would be different fighting styles. There’s like ninja sword fighting, vs gun fighting vs takewan dow vs boxing vs you get the point…

    5. Strategy. Same thing as style except on a much, much smaller scale. Like DIRECT vs INDIRECT.

    6. Guidelines is general piece of advice on what to do. For example: don’t show interest in a girl until she shows interest in you, don’t ask her qualifying questions until you get 3 IOIs, actively show disinterest initially in order to build attraction and break down her bitch shield. In other words, its a general principle of what to do or not to do.

    The difference between guidelines and theory is that theory states laws. it says how things are. but guidelines actually tells you what to do. for example: theory would state girls only want guys who are equal or of higher value than them. a guidelines would say the exact same thing differently: ACT HIGHER VALUE THAN HER!! Theory would say: We value that which is scarce. Guidelines would say: DON’T BE OVERLY AVAILABLE. MAKE YOURSELF SCARCE. The difference is in the wording. (Although not all theory can be easily turned into a guideline. A guideline is often drawn as a conclusion from a massive pool of theory).

    7. Tactics are more specific and are ACTIVE strategies on how to win. Guidelines may be passive (what not to do) and active (what to do) but all tactics are active. For example: emo spiking, negs, teasing, push/pull, takeaways, body-rocking, empathy, paraphrasing… In other words, it’s a very specific tip on what to do exactly.

    8. Combos. Are very powerful. It’s when you combine two or more tactics together, in one single action. For example: a well timed backturn is both a neg + IOD calibrator + emo spike + push/pull + takeaway + creates scarcity.

    Another example: mentioning that you have a girlfriend creates both (jealousy+disqualifier+social proof). That’s 3 game elements being implemented all the same time just by doing one thing. It’s like shoving a multivitamin pill down her throat lol

    9. Sequence. THIS IS THE MOST POWERFUL THING EVER CREATED IN GAME. It’s having a list of tactics that you do one after the other. Just like in a videogame you have to mash different buttons in the right order (up, down, left, left, up, hit x) so too in real life. The difference between this and a combo is that: a combo two elements are combined at the exact same time but in a sequence the two elements are separated by some period of time in between.

    Here are some popular sequences:
    A1 is followed by A2 which is followed by A3 which is followed by C1…
    Bait, hook, reel, release, rapport
    huge attraction spike followed by a take-away (to bait her to chase),
    saying something interesting/funny followed by a ‘pregnant pause’ (to allow her to invest)
    DHV followed by a qualifier
    IOI followed by a release

    Routines are awesome examples for sequences. For example saying: “hey (pre-amble theory) i know this is really random (pacing) but i need to get advice (intentions stated) for my girlfriend (disqualifier) before she comes back (false time constraint)….” she responds “well the reason i asked (rooting) is because (using the magic word ‘because’)…”

    11. skills is actually being able to take that theory/advice and apply into real life situations. now it’s x100 harder to apply wisdom than it is to learn or know wisdom. knowing how to take advice and put into your life takes a lot of calibration. and this calibration ONLY comes after countless hours infield practicing.

    in other words, one can have all the theory in the world from all the best PUA books ever but can still suck at game. why? because skills only come from practice. skills will teach someone how to do something JUST the right way, at JUST the right time. and that ability will never come just from reading.

    reading PUA books doesn’t translate into badass skill. practicing the wisdom contained within the PUA books, translates into badass skill.

    1. renaissan

      This is absolutely brilliant.

      I like how it starts with theory, and it gradually gets more and more specific until it ends with practice. I agree that sequence is the most powerful thing created in game, as well as the key to success is practice.

      Thank-you for taking the time to share this. I’m seeing a book on the horizon, using this list as its organizing principle?

  3. Cupid_007

    i was listening to david deangelo recently and he said that successful people are able to take action despite apparent paradoxes in their head. much of game is the ability to balance contradicting forces.

    two elements that are the complete opposite of each other must be balanced to fine JUST the right spot. only much calibration can reveal the right balance

    1. renaissan

      I would add that to create attraction, you need to BE those contradicting forces. Saying yes and no to her at the same time. Keeps her guessing. And creates sweet-ass sexual tension.

      But AGREED it takes calibration. Too much no, you push her away altogether. Too much yes and you might make her run. That calibration is probably where the art in pick up kicks in…

      1. Cupid_007

        def valid points. I like to call her “keep her guessing” as keeping her in “limbo” and this is accomplished by giving her mixed signals (AKA push/pull or what, I believe, David DeAngelo calls being unpredictable).

        Keeping her guessing, creates sexual tension, because (1) you’re being a challenge, (2) causing her to invest because she wants to be certain that she has you – as opposed to being uncertain, (3) emo-spiking and (4) causing her to mentally invest (because she’s trying to figure out if you like her or not).

        extending on (#3): sometimes a girl may use her sexuality to try ‘lock’ down a guy. and this is exactly the place where I want to be in. this is why the PUA community believes in using dates as a reward for sex, instead of the prerequisite for sex (except sinn who has a contradictory opinion).

        however, as soon as a girl, knows for certain that she HAS a guy, she often loses all incentive to keep putting in effort. this is why, in relationships (where being unpredictable and keeping her guessing —> impedes rapport and therefore not suggested) it’s important to keep her investment by making your demands crystal clear.

        i’d like to emphasize an important point made by sinn. although keeping her guessing is an important part of attraction it can also be the enemy for building intimate rapport because a girl may be afraid to get really close to someone who she fears she may never see again. in other words, she doesn’t want to fall in love with someone who may potentially break her heart by leaving her. this is why at some point, you have to make it clear that you’re here to stay and that you see a future with the girl. this will make falling in love possible. (caveat: SOME girls will really open up to you, even if they know you may potentially leave them. however, other girls, who have had their heart broken before – need someone who is more stable – before they get really close to him).

        so i would say there are two different parts to keeping her guessing (AKA keeping her in limbo state):

        (1) Before the intimate rapport, you should keep her guessing as to whether or not you will dump her and never come-back. this is an extreme incentive for her to invest in you because the motivation to prevent loss is often more powerful than the motivation for the promise of gain.

        (2) But after the intimate rapport, you should let her know that you will stay and be with her, but you should keep her guessing as to how much you like her.

        However, in both (1) and (2), she should never have you in the palm of her hand. You should always be ready to leave her forever if she oversteps your boundaries.

        for more information on this topic see my blog…

  4. renaissan

    @ Cupid_007: That’s exactly why Mystery has the attract phase and the comfort phase. The attract stage the emphasis is on being a challenge. The comfort stage the emphasis is on comfort, even though you still have to be a bit of a challenge still. But you’re right… in rapport she needs to know you’re gonna stick around. Otherwise Last Minute Resistance will fire later on.

    Again, there’s gotta be a unity of opposites in game. A balance between predictability/certainty and unpredictability/uncertainty.


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