Defend yourself from shit tests, bitch shields, and AMOGs
Here’s a question for you. You treat others with kindness. But how do you handle people who don’t treat you the same way?
I want to be up front. If there’s an area I really want to improve on, and there are plenty, it’s definitely this. But after thinking about this question, reading what others do, trying out different things, I think I’ve gotten a little better understanding, even though I still have a ways to go. I wanna share what I’ve learned so far with you.
Here’s the basic idea: don’t buy into their erroneous “frame.”
Before I unpack that idea, let me backup and give you a quick background on Shit Tests, Bitch Shields, and AMOGs in general first.
“Shit Tests” and “Bitch Shields” are when women play the superiority role, put you down, give you shit, and disrespect you. They want to see if you can handle them. For if you can’t handle their shit, how are you going to protect them from the world of shit that exists?
AMOG stands for “Alpha Male Of the Group.” It’s a concept that was invented by a pickup artist who goes by the name “Tyler Durden,” a former student of Mystery’s. He named himself after the Brad Pitt character in “Fight Club.”
“Tyler Durden,” a.k.a Owen Cook
Anyway, he’s known as one of the legendary pickup artists, and he shows innovativeness in inventing this concept. The origin of how he came up with the concept was documented by Neil Strauss’s book “The Game,” on pages 235 – 237. The story is kinda interesting. In Tyler’s own words:
“I learned most of this from European naturals while trying to steals sets from them and prevent them from stealing sets from me. The guys here are not pushovers like most guys in North America. Many have game. So I’ve been figuring out how to out-game them.”
Apparently while he was in London doing bootcamps, Tyler would be talking to some girls, and guys would come up to him, totally blow him out, and guess who the girls went to? Exactly. The guys who destroyed him.
So, he started analyzing what exactly they were doing to him. He cracked the code, and used their tactics on them, field testing them hundreds of times, and they worked. AMOGs could no longer destroy him. He called these tactics “AMOG.”
Here’s some examples of the tactics from his own mouth:
AMOG: Hey girls, what’s up. (trying to steal his set)
TYLER: Hey dude (puts his hands up like he gives up), I will pay you a hundred dollars right now if you take these girls away from me.
GIRLS: No, no. We love you! (giggle, crawl all over Tyler, deflate the AMOG)
AMOG: Hey man, keep talking. Let’s hear your pitch. Pick these girls up, man. You’re doing awesome.
TYLER: Hey, you know I’ve gotta try to impress you cool London guys (or “rugby-shirt wearing guys” or “shiny shoes guys” or whatever detail Tyler would gather from a quick look at them and then use that detail against the AMOG to make him feel self-conscious). You guys fucking rock.
AMOG: Is that design on your shirt a sphincter? Man, you’re going to need somebody to protect you, mate. You’re going to have all the guys into you.
TYLER: Dude, that’s why I rolled up on you. I need you, man. Help me, please, man. I look at you, and I just know that you were born to protect my sphincter.
AMOG: (startes touching him to show dominance)
TYLER: Haha dude. I’m not into guys, man. Dude, the gay club is over there. Hands off the merchandise, buddy.
AMOG: qualifying to you he’s not gay.
AMOG: (gets into your face)
TYLER: (silence. Doesn’t respond. Tyler just stands there quietly. As a general rule, Tyler discovered that if a guy keeps trying to out-alpha you and you don’t answer, eventually he looks beta because he is trying too hard to get your attention. Another trick is to make “let’s get out of here” motions with your eyes to your girls. Speaking “girl language” to girls… always a good thing.)
AMOG: (shows signs he wants to fight)
TYLER: Haha dude. Are you like trying to pick a fight with me? haha. Okay, okay. Hold up, hold up. Wait a sec. We’ll do even better. First, we’ll have an arm wrestling competition. Then we’ll do one-armed pushups. And last, pose-down! (Starts flexing) Ladies?
GIRLS: (laughing) Ooh you’re so strong.
AMOG: (tooled because he looks like he’s trying too hard to impress the girls with his physical superiority)
Neil later in the book accused Tyler of worshipping the AMOG concept a little bit too much.
Neil, along with Tyler, were both students of Mystery. Neil and Mystery became best friends. And Tyler went on to use everything Mystery taught him to profit from it. Most pickup artist businesses out there have done the same thing, the founders starting out as students of Mystery then creating their own business based on his ideas. Anyway, Tyler called his business “Real Social Dynamics,” based on a term Mystery invented “social dynamics.” It’s still one of the top pickup artist businesses to this day.
But that wasn’t even the worst of it. “The Game” talks about how Neil a.k.a Style, Mystery, Tyler, and other pickup artists had all lived under the same roof called “Project Hollywood.” Well, to eliminate his competitors, Tyler used some of these AMOG techniques as backhanded ways to “freeze out” both Neil and Mystery from the house to turn it into a place for his Real Social Dynamics business.
Obviously I’m just repeating what I read in the book. I wasn’t there.
Neil also said that he had said to Tyler once that Tyler was the type of person who liked to rise to the top of a situation by eliminating his competitors, and Tyler agreed (page 427).
So, even though there’s good to Tyler’s AMOG concept, there seems to be some shady male ego stuff attached to it, too. I’m not interested in that part of the concept. Rather than using the AMOG techniques to “destroy” other guys, I’m more interested in simply learning how to defend yourself from these kinds of people… in the most ethical way possible.
Here’s one of the most important things to take away from Tyler’s AMOG concept. It’s the observation there’s often a power struggle in human interactions. People have egos. And people will cut you down in order to satisfy those little monsters.
The question is: if you come across a guy who says to you in front of a bunch of girls: “Nice shirt. I had one like that in high school”… What do you do?
The basic solution is this. These people are creating an imaginary “frame” about you. But it’s a false frame. And unless you reveal it to be false, people might take it for reality, including yourself. Don’t accept this false “problem frame.” Create a better, truer frame of your own.
This post has gotten long. So, I’ll tell you exactly how in “Part II.”
Get in the driver’s seat and take the WHOLE group for a fun ride.
I was re-reading parts of The Game, and I had a revelation. When you DHV, don’t DHV to the target. DHV to the guys and to the ugly girls. The target? Ignore her.
Here’s the idea behind this…
Beautiful Women Aren’t Different From Anyone Else
Let’s talk about beautiful women for a sec. I’m talking about the most UNUSUALLY beautiful women. The 9’s and 10’s. The ones you don’t see everyday, and when you do see one you lose the ability to remember your name.
These women are so outstandingly beautiful that a lot of us guys think we have to treat them differently. We’re either too afraid to talk to them, and just stand by the sidelines and stare… Or we give her all sorts of compliments and buy her drinks and dinner.
As you know and I know, that ain’t gonna work to attract them.
When dealing with these freaks of nature, the thing to keep in mind is… they’re used to getting lots of attention, just because of their physical appearance. They’re used to being treated special because of their physical beauty, and not appreciated for their inner qualities.
On the one hand, it’s lonely being beautiful. No one sees her for who she is. Her beauty creates distance from everyone else.
On the other hand, she also wants to be UNUSUALLY beautiful, and she wants you to know it.
Look at the hours and dollars she spends making herself with makeup, getting her skin soft, smelling good, getting her hair done, choosing just the right outfit, buying the right shoes, obsessing about her weight, removing hair in weird places, even in some cases getting plastic surgery.
Girls spend a lot of time and money looking beautiful
And acting the part of someone with an air of untouchable beauty.
Beauty gives women power. Why? Because their beauty makes a lot of us guys give our “power” away to them.
She wants to be the most beautiful woman in the room, and when we approach her, she wants to reject us. It makes her feel important.
So, the idea is to do the opposite of putting her on a pedestal. You CHALLENGE her.
In the case of Mystery’s Method, when you approach a group of people that has that INCREDIBLY beautiful woman in it… remember, women are rarely found alone… that means you actually pay attention to everyone else in the group, but her. And if she says anything TEASE her.
The message is: “You’re not getting special treatment from me just because you’re beautiful. You’re a human being just like the rest of us. ”
This creates a HUGE challenge. I mean for her, most guys are just this blur of compliments, sexual predatoriness, or approval-seeking. So when she find a guy who treats her like a human being just like everyone else, he STANDS OUT. He’s the type of a guy she doesn’t come across everyday. She does a double take. She’s attracted.
The Basic Format To All Approaches, By Mystery
Mystery smiling large
So, let me share with you the passage that gave me this revelation. It’s a handout Mystery used to hand out to his workshops. You can see it on page 35 of The Game. It’s his basic format to his all his approaches.
1. Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate–approach instantly.
2. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row.
3. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.
4. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. Tell her, “It’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.” Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.
5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes, and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, but only for the obstacles.
6. Neg the target, if appropriate. If she wants to look at the pictures, for example, say “Oh my god, she’s so grabby. How do you roll with her?”
7. Ask the group, “So, how does everyone know each other?” If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they’ve been together.
8a. If it’s a serious relationship, eject politely by saying, “Pleasure meeting you.”
8b. If she is not spoken for, say to the group, “I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?” They always say, “Uh, sure. If it’s okay with her.” If you’ve executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree.
9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, it’s on. Start looking for other IOIs.
10. Sit with her and perform a rune reading, an ESP test, or any other demonstration that will fascinate and intrigue her.
11. Tell her, “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI.
12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word “So?” If she does, then you’ve now seen three IOIs and can…
13. Kiss close. Say, out of the blue, “Would you like to kiss me?” If the setting or circumstances aren’t conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, “I have to go, but we should continue this.” Then get her number and leave.
Mystery’s negs. From page 35 of “The Game,” by Neil Strauss
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. Hey did you see the fight outside? (Girl Fight Story)
3. That’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.
4. Multiple thread The Hollywood Sign Story, ESP, and a qualifier to different people:
“Do you have a good imagination? You do? I want you to think of a number from 1 – 4. We’re starting small, that’s why we’re starting with you. That’s right, I said it! Do you have it in your mind? Don’t say it, just think it. The first number that pops into your head. Got it?
“I’m curious about something before we get to that. Is there more to you than meet the eye? I mean, don’t get a big head. There’s a lot of beautiful people around us, right? Beauty is very common. Would you not agree? You know what’s really rare?
“Are you thinking of that number? Focusing? 3. Nice! (or, if incorrect “And that’s why ESP is bullshit.”) Let’s up the stakes (or let’s try it again). Pick a number this time from 1 -10. You got it? Nice.
“Oh, by the way, have you ever been to the Hollywood sign? (You can create your own variation of this story based on something similar to the Hollywood sign in your hometown. For example, everywhere there’s a place where you get away from it all to look at the stars.) Have you ever gone to the base of it? Have you climbed up to it? Well, I went with a lovely girl (preselection switch) at the time and went up to the sign. It takes a good 40 minutes and you have to climb a fence. Next time you go, bring good shoes that will get you up there with no problem. Because you don’t want to get up there with leather shoes like I did, like a moron. That was my learning experience. But when you’re up there you can see all of Hollywood in one eye shot and it really gives you the clarity that anything is possible if you dream. Then you see it all in one eye shot. It’s inspiring.
“You got that number in your mind? 7. Nice. See, what’s really rare is a great outlook and a great personality, a great energy. That’s rare. You’ve got 2 out of 3. That’s a great start.”
5. So, how does everyone know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool.
8. Kino hand-squeeze test as you lead her through crowd.
9. Have you ever done of The Cube? (The Cube)
10. Stop talking… she reinitiates the conversation.
11. Would you like to kiss me?
12. I have to go, we should continue this. Get her number. (OR Bounce her: Let’s get back to your friends. There’s a great place across the street. We should go with you and your friends.)
Sample Script (Style)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds
2. Hey, let me get your take on something. I’ve only got a sec but… (Jealous Girlfriend)
3. Wow, you guys are like from the View. This one I can tell we would NOT get along.
4. Multiple thread Ring Routine, The Best Friend Test, C & U Smiles:
“I have to ask before I run. Do you always wear a ring on that finger? The reason I’m asking is the finger a person chooses to put a ring on says something about their personality. The fact you wear a ring on that finger says something fascinating about you. Let me see your hand. Back in ancient Greece, each mound represented a different god. And a person back then would put a ring on the associated finger to honor that god.
“Oh my God, hold on a sec. How long have you known each other? See I knew that! Well, for one, you have the same exact smile. And for two, well, I’ll just give you the Best Friend Test. Ready? Do you use the same shampoo? (They look at each other first) You don’t even have to answer, you already passed. You looked at each other before even answering the question. You just did it again. And again. See, if you weren’t close, you’d keep eye contact with me. But when two people have a connection, they make eye contact first, even over something as mundane as shampoo. Nice.
“Okay, so the rings. Very interesting what it says about each of you. The thumb represented Hades, the god of the underworld. He was one of the few gods that lived separate from Mount Olympus, just like the thumb is separate from the other fingers. So, someone who wears a ring on this finger is independent and doesn’t like to follow other people’s trends. Instead, they like to make their own.
“The index finger was Zeus, and he was the king of the gods. And just like when a mother is scolding their daughter (act this out), someone who wears a ring on this finger has an inclination to take charge.
“The middle finger was Dionysus, the god of wine and partying and having a great time. And just like this finger represents something that’s not G-rated, someone who wears a ring on this finger has a little bit of a wild side. So, watch out for her. She’s trouble.
“Haha. Smile for me again? You have a U Smile! That’s awesome. Well there’s U smiles and C smiles. The U Smile is when you smile and your teeth go straight back into your mouth like a horse. And the C Smile is when you smile and all you see is a row of pearly whites in the front. If you ever look on the cover of like Cosmo or Glamour, the girl always has a C Smile. You have a U smile, but don’t worry, I still think you’re hot… in that short school bus sort of way. *smile*
“So, the ring finger is one of the coolest. This was Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And you can look this up, it’s true. This finger is the only one that has a vein that goes straight to your heart without branching off. (demo line going from finger to her heart). So anyone who wears a ring on this finger is actually making a direct connection with their heart. That’s why to this day we’ll wear our wedding ring on this finger.
“Finally, the pinky finger was Ares, the god of war. And you’ll notice a lot of mobsters will wear their ring on this finger. Someone who wears a ring on this finger has some inner turmoil or conflict within. They like to fight. And if you had given someone a pinky ring back then it mean ‘fuck you’ or ‘go to hell.’
“And for someone who doesn’t wear rings, like me that meant you were aligned with Hermes. He was one of the most mischievous of the gods. And he was the one that flew from Mount Olympus to earth. So, someone who doesn’t wear rings is open-minded, loves to travel, likes to be helpful, but has a little bit of a mischievous side. And that’s definitely me. But your personality is… Any truth to that? Pretty cool, right? You guys are awesome.”
5. So, how do you all know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool. Have you ever done the Cube? (You could also do EV or Secret Self here too)
8. Beauty is common.
9. Stop talking.
10. Evolution Phase Shift Routine.
11. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her and her friends
Sample Script (Brad P)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. You look familiar. Do you like horses? (Tell the story to the whole group)
3. Do you mind if I talk to your friend for a sec?
4. Have you ever had your palm read? (Brad P’s Palm Reading)
5. Beauty is common…
6. Stop talking
7. On a scale of 1 – 10, how good of a kisser are you?
8. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her
Sample Script (My own)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. I have this rule that whenever I see someone attractive I have to at least say hi.
3. Quit looking at my chest my eyes are up here.
4. You guys seem really cool. My passion in life is writing. Are you passionate? What’s something you guys enjoy doing?
6. I’m making her my new girlfriend. We’re gonna fly to Vegas tomorrow and get married. You can be Catwoman, and I’ll be Batman. It’ll be awesome.
7. Do you mind if I talk to her for a sec?
8. I want to show you something really cool. Someone just did this with me recently. It’s a great, quick way to get to know someone. In fact, a lot of people don’t even know this about themselves. (Use her answer about passion as a springboard to Style’s EV)
9. Beauty is common…
10. Stop talking.
11. Brush hair out of face, and kiss.
12. We should continue this, and get her number… or bounce her.
Next time you go out, try out any of the scripts I’ve given you that’s most aligned with your personality.
When you deliver the DHV, make sure to do it to the ones you’re NOT interested in. Make eye contact with EVERYONE. Your target? Neg her. This allows you to convey your personality and win over her friends. And with the target, the negs/banter/cocky-funny lines create sexual tension and show her you’re that rare man that’s interested more in a woman’s inner beauty than her superficial, external shell.
1. “The number one characteristic of an alpha male is the smile. Smile when you enter a room. As soon as you walk in a club, the game is on. And by smiling, you look like you’re together, you’re fun, and you’re somebody.
2. “Be well-groomed.”
Shower. Soap yourself at least three times to smell really clean. Brush your teeth. Make sure your breath smells good. Carry gum if you have to. Put on a great smelling deodorant. If you’re going to put on cologne, make sure it’s just a DAB. Have your fashion together: wear at least one interesting item of clothing. If you look average, you’re going to get average girls. Alpha males don’t blend in, they stand out. At the very least, dress the best you can.
3. “Possess a sense of humor.”
See my post “Flirting” for more info on this. Banter, cocky-funny, and negs are all great techniques to make women laugh in an attractive way.
4. “Connect with people.”
Don’t do all the talking. Listen. That means get where a person is coming from. Put yourself in their shoes. Also, at bottom, every person wants to feel important. Don’t knock people down. Make people feel important.
5. “Be the social center of a room.”
See my post “The Key To Picking Up Chicks Is Not Picking Them Up” for more on this. Mystery is famous for saying “there are the observers and the observed. Be the observed.” The three second rule isn’t just opening the first attractive women you see. It means opening the first people you see period. Talk to everyone, even if it’s a simple “How’s your night going?” Bartenders, Bouncers, ugly girls, guys. Be the social center of a room.
Confidence comes from competence. You’re the prize. You’re the selector. Not her. If you don’t know this about yourself yet, fake it till you make. Dwell on your positive attributes and your accomplishments (not your drawbacks and failures). Keep telling yourself you’re the catch and she’s lucky talking with you. That belief translates into confidence. And women will smell it off you like cologne.
You can find these six characteristics in “The Game” by Neil Strauss (page 21-22).
For now, practice smiling when you enter a room. When you’re walking down the street, give a smile to at least three people. And next time you’re at a register, ask the cashier “how’s your day going?” or try out a banter line on her. You’ll be on your way to developing confidence, and the characteristics of an alpha male.
“I needed to let her know that unlike every other guy in the bar, I am not and will not be intimidated by her looks. Beauty to me was now a shit test: It weeded out the losers who got dumbstruck by it.”
(page 152, “The Game,” by Neil Strauss)
These three sentences are the key to success in the game.
The whole purpose of:
The Neg… a flirting line. It says “I’m not interested in getting in your pants.” Breaks her “elitist” facade she might have because of her beauty. Makes you into a challenge. And makes her laugh.
The DHV… a conversation piece. Self-discloses something cool about yourself, so she knows who she’s talking with. You’re not talking about her beauty or “getting in her pants.” You’re talking with her like a person. No Interview where you ask her a million questions. And no small talk like the weather, or “what do you do.” You have something fun to share, and it has emotional appeal.
The Qualifier… a question. It says “I’m less interested in your looks than who you are as a person.” And it gets her talking and investing in the interaction.
…is to not get bamboozled by a beautiful woman’s beauty, but to talk with her as a human being. You’re stronger than the gravitational pull of her beauty. Because her outer beauty is just a facade.