Everything I’ve Learned About How To Become More Successful With Women

Note: I don’t claim ownership for a lot of these pics. If any belong to you, please let me know. I’ll take them down right away.

The look of attraction

The look of attraction. That’s what I’m talking about











Hey, I’m Renaissan. Thanks for visiting.

I’ve gotten my heart broken, and I’ve made mistakes in my relationships with women. Inspired by the hope Neil Strauss talked about in “The Game” I made the decision to do everything I could to learn how to become more successful with them. What I learned changed my life.

Now I wanna share everything I’ve learned with you. Here’s what you’ll find inside.

Screen Shot 2015-03-09 at 2.36.41 AM

For how to attract women, check out:

For an  overview on the Mystery Method check out:

For the foundation of pickup, check out:

For the practical stuff check out:

I’ve also got articles on pleasing women in “Sex” and keeping a relationship alive in “Relationship.” And as some inspiration I’ve created a gallery of quotes, pics, and videos under “Gallery.”

I really hope all this stuff helps you on your journey on being more successful with women. It’s changed my life. I know it’ll change yours.

71 thoughts on “Everything I’ve Learned About How To Become More Successful With Women

  1. live sex chats

    It’s remarkable to pay a quick visit this web site and reading the views of all colleagues on the topic of this piece of writing, while I am also keen of getting

  2. seduce

    Hi there, I do think your site might be having web browser compatibility
    problems. Whenever I look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in IE, it has some
    overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick
    heads up! Other than that, excellent blog!

    1. renaissan

      Thanks for the kind words. It’s very encouraging. And for the heads up.

      By the way, what is IE? And what kind of issues are you getting? Loading problems? Maybe I can contact WordPress and bring it to their attention. Thanks again for the heads up.

  3. Kurtis

    Amazing blog! I am by no means anywhere near a frequent reader, I can literally count on my hands how many books I have read in my life. I have never been so intrigued to read as when I stumbled upon your blog. This blog is jam-packed with amazing tips, and I agree with nearly every single line written. Fantastic job, renaissan, you have written this blog beautifully!

    1. renaissan

      It’s comments like these that make me want to keep going. I’m very much a student with women (always will be), and writing this blog helps me learn this stuff better. I LOVE writing about it, and I’m glad you may gotten something out of it, too.

      Speaking of writing, I’m almost done with my book. It’s called “The Mystery of Women.” It’s comprehensive and it’s all new stuff. It’s coming out soon. Thanks for taking the time to read and giving me those kind words.

  4. Sean

    I love you man. U got a lot of good stuff here. im going to read all your articles. Thank you so much

    1. renaissan

      Hahaha! Are you kidding me? Thank YOU! Let me know what you think. And if you’ve got any questions. Would love to answer ’em.

    1. renaissan

      High compliment coming from you, man. ‘Cause I know you know your shit. I look forward to checking out your blog and learning from you as well.

  5. Brett

    Hello renaissance, I really enjoy your blog, your the first game expert I’ve seen that’s explained what to do in regards to flirting. I did have a question, regarding women in the classroom setting. I’m having trouble connecting with women though. I’m friendly, and very confident and it’s not hard for me to get a girls number, but I ask way to many questions about themselves
    what banter, or connecting topics can I use in a classroom college setting to show a playful side? Like opening up a conversation or something that I can do more than once?

    1. renaissan

      Thanks for the kind words, Brett. Those are always encouraging to hear.

      Classroom settings are a different ballgame than approaching a woman cold on the street. One of the rules of play-fighting is to do it within the first two sentences out of your mouth. If you’ve been seeing a girl on a regular basis (i.e. in class) it might be strange to come out-of-the-blue with a play-fighting line. Connect with her. Here’s a great tip on how…

      …To bypass the “asking-too-many-questions” issue: self-disclose first before asking a question. After she answers your question, comment on her answer before asking another question.

      This avoids the two pitfalls of conversation: the lecturer (talking too much) and the interviewer (asking too many questions).

      Example: “My passion in life is writing.” (Self-disclose/share something cool about yourself.) “Are you a passionate person? What lights you up?” (Asking a question after you’ve shared… when you share first, it makes it more comfortable for her to share.) “You’re into animals? That’s so cool. I find people who are into animals have a huge heart. What’s your favorite animal?” (Commenting on her answer before asking another question).

      My guess is you’ve probably already got attraction. Especially if you’re confident and friendly. Maybe all you need is MUTUAL self-dislosure and a connection, where you share yourself, get curious about her, and find “me too” moments. For example: “You like cats? Me too! I love how self-sufficient they are.”

      My suspicion is you’re pretty much there. Instead of learning a play-fighting line for a classroom setting maybe all you need is to connect with her.

      Once you’re on a Day 2, or you’re texting her (check out: http://whetyourwoman.com/tag/texting-chicks for more), maybe you can inject a little play-fighting there.

      Please let me know if this helps at all. I’d love to hear from you again.

      1. Brett

        Renaissan, I just saw your comment. Because I have gmail, it put my subscription emails into my promotions instead of primary. Thank you so much for the comment, I read it and was so pleased to see you responded. I actually started using this method of asking a question and then commenting, because i knew for a fact that I was interviewing too much. I have attracted and gotten 3 numbers in my classes. Its been working, I am moving to a big university instead to get out of a commuter school and am going to vigorously work hard on upping my game. I am working now of corse, approaching cold in coffee shops, stores etc. Which brings me to my next question, I show good DHV, and am good at bantering, but I have a problem with emotional connections, I had a girl in my class actually who tried telling me over text that she was having a horrible day but could’nt talk about it. I tried telling her she could trust me, and failed to emotionally communicate, My question is whether on first meeting someone, or talking to them, how do you emotionally connect especially a girl, how do you talk about emotional things? Also I wanted to hear your opinion on the Manosphere blogs, like return of kings, Red pill etc…. Do you agree with that style of game? Would love your opinion on this even if you broke down your view on the rights, and wrongs of redpill. Thank you again, Your blog has helped me cross miles in a matter of a month or so.

    2. renaissan

      The girl you said “you can trust me” to: the best way to have her open up to you is for you to open up to her… first. That’ll make her feel comfortable to do so. And it’s only fair.

      The other problem may have been that you asking her to open up to you through text. If I was having a horrible day, the last thing I’d want to do is type all that as a text message.

      Here’s the short answer to creating an emotional connection with a girl: connect with your own emotions first.

      That means keep things emotional. It doesn’t matter what you talk about. If you’re connected to a feeling, she’ll in turn connect to the feeling you’re feeling.

      For example, you could be talking about guitars, and she knows nothing about them. But if when you’re talking about guitars with excitement, she’ll connect with that excitement and feel that emotional connection with you.

      Same thing if you talk about romantic memories. Let’s say you talked about your most romantic date then asked her “what was your most romantic date?” She’d be connecting with those emotions.

      Or let’s say she asked you, “what you do?” You could answer factually, “I’m an accountant.” No emotional connection there. Or, you could talk about what you do with passion. If what you do doesn’t fill you with passion you could talk about what your passion in life is. That would allow her to connect to that feeling of passion with you.

      So, creating an emotional connection has to do with connecting to emotion first. That takes making yourself vulnerable, opening up to her, speaking about emotions, and speaking with emotion. In all those cases, she’ll be connect with the emotion you’re feeling in her presence. And she’ll feel more comfortable opening her emotions to you in turn.

      Now, if you’re also asking about how to build trust and comfort with a girl, that takes time. Spend between four to ten hours with her. Let her see what you’re like. Let her see what you’re like with other people. Let her see you’re not a psycho and out to “get” her. Let her see your humanity. Let her feel like a “couple” with you by into places together. Time helps build comfort and trust.

      As for question about the “Return of Kings” and “Red Pill” sites, I hadn’t heard of them until you mentioned them. Thanks for bringing those to my attention. I couldn’t find the “Red Pill” site but I found “Return of Kings.” Without having delved too deeply into one, it looked legit. I’ll have to check it out more, though.

      Let me know if this answer has helped you out at all… keep up the great work.

      1. Brett

        Renaissan, I took your advice on talking about emotional things and its working like a charm. Now im the type of guy that can relate very well to other women when it comes to emotion. I can get people to open up to me, but my problem is women love to tell me about problems there going through and its breakup problems. I want to give helpful advice as a man who she could date or be attracted to, not as the buddy who gives friendly relationship advice. What is your advice on giving masculine, strong, advice that doesnt put you in the friend zone. So i guess what would be good is telling me the difference between being a nice guy she talks to about her boy problems and being the man she can come to with her problems but feel safe, attracted to. Thank you so much renaissan.

        By the way for the redpill community return of kings, goodlookingloser, roushV, realchristianmcqueen, are all great examples, and look up the reddit redpill as well. I just wanted to let you know because many men are getting into the red pill community. Thought you should see what its like

  6. Brett

    Renaissan, Ive come out of a long term relationship, so I’m trying to score the first girl in 6 years after my ex. I’m confident and have no problem getting a number, but I struggle creating that attraction, I’m charismatic and am outgoing, what are good ways not to get friend zoned, and what’s ways to set up attraction in a small college classroom setting. I really enjoy your blog by the way. Ive never seen so much material that explains everything perfectly step by step. I also know you start with playful banter(some good ideas for playful banter? ), then qualify. Some of these girls I followed another guys model to get numbers, but failed to set up attraction, how can I start this?

    1. renaissan

      Probably the best thing I’ve learned about creating attraction is this: women are attracted to the way you make them feel when they’re around you. Positive, upbeat energy attracts women like a nice rack attracts us. Positive energy is pleasurable. If she feels pleasure around you, she’ll link that feeling to you and want to be around you more and more. That’s attraction.

      Play-fighting works well because it’s a blast of positive energy.

      Another reason it works is because you play the role of a dominant man and her the role of this “cutie” chasing you. And because she’s chasing you, you’ve got to push her away.

      As the law of opposites go, we pursue that which retreats from us. So, opposing her sparks energy. Do this in a playful way and you’ve left the world of fact and have brought her into the world of imagination… which feels so much better. Instead of having to be overly serious adults, you get to be kids again.

      Finally, playing the role of the dominant one and her the cute one is playing the role of the masculine role versus the feminine role. Which creates SEXUAL energy. I’ve got some examples of what play-fighting looks in my “Flirting” post, my “Routines Collection” post, and in my “Game, Part 2” post. One of the best programs out there that teaches you how to do this is Lance Mason’s “Charismatic Conversations.” The only downfall to that is it’s pricey.

      As for the question about the friend-zone: this happens when a guy has attracted a girl, and is building comfort with her, but fails to make a move on her. So, to avoid this from happening we’ve got to make a move. It’s scary because we might get rejected. But no fear. If she’s not ready, stop and try again later. Until she feels comfortable enough. I lay out an entire plan on how to make a move in my “Kino” post.

      By the way, that’s awesome you’re back in the game. It’s a shit-load of fun. And a huge thanks again for your kind words. You totally made my day.

  7. Derek

    Dude!! I’ve been following your articles for almost an year now, and man! IT WORKS!!
    I’m not as good as you or anything, but its completely changed my life.. After reading this, I realized i’ve been doing everything in the worst way possible, I tried a lil bit of change and the results are amazing! Keep up the good work bro! ANd thank you soo much!

    1. renaissan

      Now that’s the type of comments a blogger loves seeing. Awesome man! Keep up the great work. Out of curiosity, what did you try that had worked?

    1. renaissan

      Thanks brotha! I’m coming out with a shorter book in December. It’s called “How To Pick Up Chicks in Five Simple Steps” and it’s killer. The main, larger ebook “The Mystery of Women” will be coming out in the Spring. It’s gonna be the most comprehensive product out there on success with women. Thanks for asking, man!

  8. nignig

    renaissan nice blog ..I read yer articles on the VA forum and I am follower of the mystery method as well, I don’t see too much on dhv stories with dhv spikes are they not important!!!!

  9. KenHaloo

    Great article ! Want to be a lady-killer? want some special method ? Check this out: thedarkpark.com , You will know what I mean.

  10. Jimmy

    I would like to how I know that my wife is in the mood. Like last night I was playing and cross her legs and wouldn’t let me play so I turn the other way so she did to. So I started to play from the back side then she said if what you better due now so I played for a bit then I put my dick in her but she didn’t enjoy it but I felt bad so I pulled it out and got up and went outside. She was a sleep when I got back to bed. I what sex more but she never in the mood.what should I due take matter in my hand and Jack off. I lost what to due

  11. Jimmy

    I getting nervous about my wife she hasn’t been the same. She use to let me play in bed and be naked in bed but now she wears close to bed and she doesn’t let me touch her any more

  12. Jimmy

    I was having sex with my wife the other night and I thought I would move my cock around inside her and she push me off and went to sleep so what should I do

    1. renaissan

      She pushed you off because you moved your cock around inside her? That doesn’t sound nice. Rather than pass any judgments though, let me ask this question.

      What’s your relationship like with her outside the bedroom? Any issues outside the bedroom often seep into the bedroom. For women, the relationship and the sex life aren’t separate things, but are part of the same continuum.

      Perhaps the first step may be addressing relationship issues first. You can do this by having a heart-to-heart with her. Ask how she feels in the relationship. Listen to what she says.

  13. Michael

    You’ve really inspired me.
    I’ve had this “playful banter” with my best friend, who I fell in love with.
    The best most fun times of My life.
    We never kissed or had sex.
    But I definitely felt the energy.

    We don’t talk or hang anymore.

    But I was wondering if we ever did reconnect in the future would the
    Feeling stay within us possibly ?
    Because of our chemistry we shared

    Or does it does it go away?

    I would really appreciate an answer.

    I’ve been searching & searching please” help!”

    1. renaissan

      Here’s the cool thing about “playful banter.” It’s a tool that CREATES “chemistry.” That’s why learning it was such a revelation for me. I could create “chemistry” with complete strangers out of thin air.

      So, if you saw your best friend again and you continued to have “playful banter” with her, you can bet big bucks that chemistry would still be there.

      My point is “chemistry” can sometimes imply you sit back and wait to see if you have chemistry with a person or not. “Playful banter,” on the other hand, is a concrete way to create “chemistry.” It implies you can actively do something about it–you don’t have to wait to see if it magically appears.

      Of course it takes two to tango, so hopefully your best friend would banter back and the two of you would enjoy the exchange together. I have a feeling that won’t be an issue, though.

      Only other thing I’d add is this: if a relationship is based only on “playful banter” it’s in danger of being superficial. Playful banter needs to be anchored with substance, with rapport–something like a mutual, emotional connection.

      The short answer is, the chemistry could definitely still be there with your best friend. But you can play a big part in ensuring that happens.

  14. Jim

    I have this problem when I have sex with my wife and I cun to fast and I been doing what some people told me what to due and I like to know if rubber will help but I hate wearing them because I can’t fill her on me plus I don’t think I should because she and I married

    1. renaissan

      Try out a condom if you’d like to see if it helps with self-control. But also keep practicing the tips I gave you. They’re a deeper solution to the issue.

  15. Frank

    Hey renaissan! Are you still alive???

    I haven’t seen any updates lately from you…. /:

    1. renaissan

      I am still alive! I know it’s been a while, but I’ve been working on a five volume series of books that I’ll be selling on this site. The good news is it’s nearly done. I’m hoping to begin offering them by the end of the summer. So you will be hearing more of me very soon! Thanks for asking and for touching base.

      1. Jim

        Congratulations on your new book and I hope you are having fun. Sure miss hearing from you.

      2. Jim

        I thought you were gone because I haven’t heard from you in couple of months. You have help me out a lot. I still trying to find out what things I should try out on the wife. There are many nights I try to get her to go but I can’t get her to go. There are times she just lays there and let me play with her and I running out ideas to make sure enjoying it. I just wish she would go like the first time we had sex but I can’t get her to go. You have any idea what I can try next time we have sex.

      3. renaissan

        Hey Jim, I’ve got three ideas for you.

        The first idea is really just a question. How are things between you and your wife outside of the bedroom? That can usually affect things inside the bedroom. Taking her out for a fun date and having a positive vibe between the two of you can put her in the mood.

        The second idea, is to either buy a sex toy together, or surprise her with one. One I’d suggest is “Magic Wand by Hitachi.” It’s a powerful vibrator, and I haven’t met a woman who didn’t love it and be EXCITED to have sex knowing you’ll use it on her. Here’s a link so you can check it out: https://hitachimagic.com/hitachi-magic-wand/magic-wand/?gclid=CjwKEAjw16HLBRDF9L2UmOCH7U8SJAASVESoZMQafdnukQIk1LJumeyorXwl_pxS_ZqEsQ1cEdGdIxoCXbnw_wcB

        The third idea is to buy a book of female sex fantasies and read them to her in bed to get her in the “mood.” Nancy Friday’s “Secret Garden” is a great one. Another fantastic one is “To Turn You On” by J Aphrodite. “Fifty Shades” might be another one that you could read together. And there’s some female friendly porn like “Opening of Misty Beethoven” you can watch together.

        Read her a story from one of those books as foreplay, (make sure things are good between you and your wife outside the bedroom) then use the Hitachi Magic Wand on her… oh mommy.

      4. Jim

        Things are little tough right now because I been having some health problems and just got lost my job because of my health problems. It really hitting the sex problem. The hardest part of it all is one I get hard then it goes limp when we having sex. My doctor think it the medical stuff they put me on. I honestly don’t think that the problem with me going limp. I get to worried about this problem before I was my age and worried I don’t satisfieding her needs. She keeps telling me I doing fine but I feel like I could due better. Like lasting longer when we have sex. Not sure what I can due different.

  16. Jim

    The other problem I been having is that is I don’t think I doing a good job on her. Like when I go down on her and lick her pussy she just lays there and I the one who start the playing around. She has been very cold to me and she won’t play with me and get me the mode. How can I know she enjoys what I doing because she keeps telling me I doing fine but I feel like I could due better.

    1. renaissan

      It sounds like you’re doing a lot for your wife and that you want to please her. But she just lays there, and says things like “you’re doing fine.” You feel like she’s actually not enjoying the sex, so you want to know what you can do better, and how you can tell whether she really is enjoying the sex.

      You also have a fear of losing the “vigor” when you’re having sex with her, and you want to make sure you can last a long time. You’re not sure why that happens, and you’d like to know how to fix that issue.

      Is that correct?

  17. Islam Muhammed

    I have a problem when I know the beautiful girls inside I feel brave and strong and I can move around them but I do not know how to start talking with them and atttract them

    1. renaissan

      Opening can feel like a “challenge” because we can get rejected. (Another similar step in the pickup process that can feel like a challenge is the first kiss also because of the risk of rejection).

      There’s an opener I use that has worked great for me, though. It goes something like, “Hey, you look fun (or cool or interesting). I had to see what you were like.”

      If you try this out, chances are is it will lead to a conversation (women tend to be nice when you try to start a conversation with them). After a few minutes of conversation, you could say something like, “It was a pleasure meeting you.” You will have mastered the first step of the pickup process.

      Try it out and me know how this opener works for you. And if you’d like, we could talk about mastering the next step, which is attraction.

      And if you’d like to try on other openers on for size, I have all my openers here: https://whetyourwoman.com/how-to-practice-pickup/my-routines-collection.

      Please do let me know how it goes or let me know if this helps at all.

  18. Jake

    Hey Man congrats, very well laid out online scene you’ve created, just finished book on modern socio-sexuality and would like to collaborate on cutting-edge project to make society a safer, saner place to sex, and live in, for men and women! (and it could very well generate some earnings too)
    I have investment money and a lot of sincere motivation to create posotive change(s)! ok get back asap, ciao!

    1. renaissan

      Hey Jake,
      I appreciate the kind words a lot! I took a bit of a hiatus but I’m back–my apologies for missing your message. Please get back to me if you’d still like to talk about your project. It sounds interesting! I’m glad you reached out.

  19. Jay

    I purchased and read your book a couple of years ago and it helped me develop my game tremendously compared to where I started. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. I was wondering if you had any tips on how to use the method for threesomes?

    1. renaissan

      LOVE this question Jay! I’m excited you asked. It’s funny because having had a few threesomes, I wrote a 300 page ebook on the topic about how (it’s such a great topic).

      Also, thanks for your kind words about my first ebook. I can’t tell you what it means to hear comments like that. It’s gratifying and makes me want to get this series of ebooks out. As you probably know, I wrote the threesome ebook as a part of that series.

      Here’s the basic premise of that ebook. There are three keys to making a threesome happen:

      1) Find bisexual women.
      2) Make the threesome about THEM, not you.
      3) Take the lead, orchestrate everything.

      You can apply these three keys to four different scenarios:

      1) Strangers: Pickup two bisexual women for a same day lay.
      2) If you’re dating multiple women (always in an ethical way), you could get two of them together. (For more on how to date multiple women ethically, see my post over here: https://whetyourwoman.com/core-essentials-of-success-with-women/how-to-date-multiple-women)
      3) If you have a “new” girlfriend (i.e., one you’ve only been dating for 1-4 weeks), you could pickup a bisexual woman together.
      4) If you have a “long-term” girlfriend, you could pickup a bisexual woman together.

      I know this answer doesn’t give specifics. That’s only because there’s not enough space here. But even if I gave you more specifics, it would still come down to those three basic rules above. And there’s a reason I put them in that order.

      A threesome WON’T happen unless the women are at least bicurious. If you find two bicurious or bisexual women, they won’t wanna have a threesome with you if you make it about you. It’s gotta be about THEIR experience. Make it about THEM. And if it’s their first time having a threesome, you can make the experience great if you take the lead.

      Thanks again for this question, Jay. You’re giving me a kick in my pants to get this ebook out. So thanks for that. That there’s interest on this topic frankly inspires me. (The only reason I haven’t published it yet is because there are drawings I’d like to add.)

      By the way, of the four scenarios I listed out, which would you fall under?

      1. Sam

        Hello Ren I see youre active again or still read the blog. I have a sticking point like I blast open the sets ,hit the hook point super fast the girl sticks with me all night is down to hang out but it’s not turning into dates they wanna be friends but not sex , I am not using negs in the open in my experience when I try it’s usually game over , stimulating is great my stories hit but they don’t qualify ? Do you know what the issue is , could it be I don’t have the look of a guy running this stuff.

      2. renaissan

        I appreciate your question a lot, Sam. And I appreciate you checking out my blog!

        From your description, it sounds like you’ve got the “attraction” phase down well.

        Now, a lot of pickup info seems to focus on the “attraction” phase, maybe not enough on the “comfort” and “seduction” phases. So, it makes sense that you may be able to hit the hook point within “attraction,” but are struggling with the other two phases.

        By the way, it’s okay if you’re opening sets without negging. I do think it’s important to flirt so that you can establish sexual tension. But there are other ways to establish sexual tension. If you’re hitting the hook point, that’s great. You’re doing something right.

        I do have some questions for you.

        For example, you said a girl sticks with you “all night,” and is “down to hang out.” This is not turning into dates?

        If a woman is sticking with you “all night” this in itself is like a first date. Further, if she’s “down to hang out,” how would this not turn into a second date? She’s down to hang out!

        So here’s a more specific question for you.

        How long are you actually hanging out with a woman after you’ve hit the hook point? Is it under 15 minutes or more than 15 minutes?

        If she’s sticking with you (at the pickup location) for over 15 minutes, you should have no problem inviting her to go to another location that same night (the “bounce”). If you’re unable to do that, set up a “Day 2” for another day.

        If she’s spent 15-40 minutes getting to know you at the pickup location, this shouldn’t be difficult to do. The reason is, you should have been building an emotional connection.

        Now, if a woman isn’t sticking with you (at the initial location) for at least 15 minutes, this might be why it’s not turning into a date.

        After you hit the hook point, spend some time (15-40 minutes, 25 minutes on average) building a connection with her. If the two of you are enjoying each other’s company, setting up a Day 2 or hitting another location is a natural, next step.

        You had mentioned “qualification.” Asking a “qualifying” question is a great way to transition out of the attraction phase into the comfort phase. The idea here is to get to know her on a deeper level (as attraction is pretty much on the surface-level).

        So, if you’re not qualifying, I would definitely add this. This is CRITICAL. Without asking a woman about herself and seeing if you have anything in common, it’s impossible to develop an honest connection.

        Let me repeat that second-to-last word.

        Qualifying shouldn’t be some “tactic.” It must be honest and genuine. Get to know who she is as a person to honestly see if the two of you are in fact compatible. (If you’ve attracted her at the beginning, she should want to get to know you in return.)

        From the little I know about your scenario, it sounds like you’re attracting women well. If so, it’s time to work on “comfort.” If you’re not qualifying, see if you can add a qualifying question into your repertoire. And see if you can get a woman one-on-one.

        (Check out my article https://whetyourwoman.com/how-to-practice-pickup/my-routines-collection where I provide some qualifying questions you can use as well as some cool “get to know you” games/questions you can use to make the first 25 minutes with her as interesting as possible.)

        The good new is, it sounds like you’ve got the hard part down—attraction, breaking the ice, opening the door. Now that the door is open, you can do one of the funnest parts: getting to know a woman for the person she is. I personally love this phase.

        As a review, the attraction phase should only be a few minutes long. Comfort, by contrast, is where you get to take your time. It’s like the middle section of a story.

        So, spend 4-10 hours (or 7 hours on average) getting to know her. Make sure to kiss her during this time, and that you’re physically making contact with each other. Go to different venues together if you can. Going to different locations can often give the two of you the “us” feeling that couples have.

        But to avoid the friend zone, don’t spend too much time in comfort.

        If you spend more than 10 hours without things getting sexual, you’re often in danger of entering the friend zone. By contrast, if you spend less than 4 hours and go straight for sex without getting to know her, the woman can often feel “buyer’s remorse,” thinking you were just a player.

        While in comfort, ask personal questions, yes, but also ask questions of a romantic nature…even of a sexual nature. (Check out the same article above for some ideas.) This will sow the seeds for mutual seduction–the final phase to master.

        So, without knowing all the details of what you’re doing, my recommendation is to work on the “comfort” phase, starting with asking qualifying questions. Don’t worry about getting to sex. Just practice building an emotional connection. Once you master “comfort,” seduction isn’t far behind.

        Let me know if this helps, Sam. And thanks for the question!

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