I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to learn this learn this lesson. I’m still learning it. It’s a mindset. And it’s huge.
When you’re picking her up, get ego out of the way.
What does that mean?
Get “I’m so awesome” depending on her liking you out of your head. And get “I suck” depending on her scoffing you out of your head.
As if you want to be liked by her SO MUCH. Who’s she to be the judge of you? You know who you are. Be the one who likes HER first. Don’t wait for her to like you.
After all, who cares what she thinks of you? Like yourself. That’s all you need. Then you can worry about liking her.
What is it about ego that trips us up? Maybe it makes us focused on how we look on the outside, rather than who we really are from the inside. Not sure.
Just give her feeling good. Not in order to be liked. Not to kiss her ass. But, just to give. No strings attached. Not to get a trophy. Not to “get” her. Just to spread the good “spirit” you feel within to the world. ‘Cause it’s overflowing anyway.
We all want to feel important. But just as a gentleman lets a woman enter a building first, and lets her come first in bed, let her feel this first during a pickup. Give feeling good to her.
Make the pickup about HER, not you.
I totally disagree to the fullest.
I get the impression that you’re saying to put the girl first. Then again, I get the impression you’re saying to put you (the guy) first.
The guy should be first.
Total misunderstanding of what I’m trying to say. But I understand where you’re coming from.
What I was trying to say: when you care about getting her “approval” during a pickup, it trips you up. That’s making the pickup about YOU. You become self-centered, and self-conscious. It’s all about me, me, me… you talk about yourself the entire time, you have no regard for this other human being in front of you. It’s about “do I get a gold star” from her? You’re so hell-bent on being liked and impressing her, you turn her off.
However, when you know who you are regardless of what she thinks of you, things go a lot smoother. Instead of getting her approval, the focus becomes simply giving value to others. Not to feed your ego, but simply to give. Besides, people don’t really care about you, they care about themselves (that’s their favorite subject after all). Shifting your mindset from “will you like me… pretty please?” to “I like you” makes you stronger, and it frees you from waiting for her to qualify you. YOU qualify HER. In other words, like HER first, not the other way around. You be the judge of yourself, not her the judge of you. Now, you can open your eyes to this fellow human being in front of you. You can ask “who is she?” Instead of shining the spotlight on yourself, you can shine it on her.
In one sentence, make the pickup NOT about getting approval from her (where pick up is about YOU), but giving approval instead (where pickup is about HER).
I hope that clarifies what I was trying to say. Thanks for your comment, and making me clarify.
Ok, I totally get where you coming from now. Cant believe I missed that. So in other words, don’t make it about you the guy whereas you’re taking about yourself,achievements coming off as braggy and so forth.
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Exactly! You got it