To get better with women, you gotta practice getting better with women. It’s the only way to success with women. A great way to do this? Approach women.
What’s that you say? Some men are above that?
Oh, you’re serious.
Well, lemme tell ya. NO man is born being great at women. The whole concept of some guys just born naturally good with women? Bullshit. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Buuuuuullshit. EVERYONE has to learn it.
Hanging out with guys who are good with women helps. But the BEST way to learn is going out there and approaching women.
Let me say this again, but in a different way, cause it’s important.
Your best teacher ain’t books or blogs like this one. They might kinda take the place of learning from a guy who’s decent with women. I mean, seeing a guy who’s good with women IN ACTION is better. But your best teacher isn’t even that.
It’s actually getting out there approaching women.
It’s scary. I’ll give you that. Even the guys who are the best with women… man, I don’t think anyone starts out totally comfortable talking to strangers. It’s uncomfortable. But to become an attractive man, that’s what you gotta do. Get good at talking with strangers.
I’ll give you two plans right here, and right now.
The first plan is a warm up, before going into bars and clubs. In fact, in the first plan, you’re not allowed to go into clubs or bars at all to pick up chicks.
The second plan you will go into bars and clubs. But the objective still isn’t to pick up chicks. It’s just to get a skill. Getting women attracted along the way will just be a cool by product. Haha
Before I give you the two plans, let me give credit where credit is due. Plan #1 comes from Lance Mason’s Pick 101 and Plan #2 is based on Mystery’s Newbie Drill. And they both work like gangbusters.
PLAN #1: A WARM UP
STEP #1. Take a 15-30 minute walk everyday for 30 days. Rain or shine, EVERY DAY. Find a park, a street with shops on it, a mall, anywhere that people can be found.
STEP #2. Smile. Smile at everyone. I know it might feel weird at first, but the idea is to practice being friendly. When you see a woman of particular beauty, looking her in the eye and smiling will be a natural.
STEP #3. Say “Hello” to at least one person. It does NOT matter if they say “Hello” back or even look up. Who cares if you get a reaction? Your objective isn’t a reaction. Your objective is simply to be friendly. If they can’t be friendly back, that’s their problem, not yours.
STEP #4. The first woman you see on your walk, stop her to talk. Extend the conversation past hello. You can say something as simple as “Beautiful day.”
Once you say that, you can vamoose. No need to say anything else. Feel free to stay and talk, if things are going great.
STEP #5. Keep a checklist each day. Make a list numbered 1 – 30. Make three columns named: “30 min walk,” “Hello,” and “Conversation.” If you want, you can just download this tracker, too. Plan #1 Tracker Check one box if you took a walk, one box if you greeted one person with a “hello,” and one box for stopping a woman and talking with her.
Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back when you’ve got three checks. That’s awesome. Ever notice how we like to be hard on ourselves, forgetting to look at the GOOD we’ve done? Celebrating your victories, however small, creates this positive feedback loop that puts you on the path to success.
Again, don’t worry about impressing anyone. Just:
- be friendly,
- get comfortable talking with strangers.
That’s it. It’s even okay to say something as “boring” as:
“How’s your day going?”
You’re not trying to create attraction. You’re just being open, friendly, and kind to everyone. If a girl has something to do that prevents her from talking, that’s totally cool. Wish her a good day and move on.
What you’ll find–surprise surprise–is people are actually pretty friendly. As Lance once pointed out, even shy people want contact with each other. And most people are polite enough to engage in conversations. Women don’t want to be rude to you, especially if you are genuinely friendly, genuinely good-intentioned, and not trying to trick her.
Do this drill for 30 days. Once you reach the end of your thirty days, you’ll find you’ve just established yourself a great habit, that might just change your life for the better.
You’re ready for plan #2.
PLAN #2: BARS AND LOUNGES
Once you are comfortable talking to strangers and women, add attraction to the mix. The #1 tool for attraction is BANTER, or what Mystery calls NEGS. Here’s the plan.
STEP #1: Create a stack (a script) that includes 1 Banter line/neg, 1 DHV (a conversation-starter), and 1 Qualifier (a question). Go over the stack 5x to get it into your memory.
STEP #2: Practice this stack in the mirror 5x to get your body language good.
STEP #3: Pick 4 nights a week to go out on. Commit to going out on those nights NO MATTER WHAT for at least 90 days. This is like an exercise program.
STEP #4: Make 10 approaches each night using your stack. The first 3 approaches are just warm-ups to get you into a talkative mood. If you don’t get through your stack, it’s okay. An approach can be as simple as “Hey.”
STEP #5: When you get home, keep track of your approaches. What will differentiate a great pickup artist from a good one is the action of keeping track. It helps you to reflect and it keeps you on track.
Here’s how to make a tracker for Plan #2: (Or, you can just download this tracker Plan #2 Tracker pdf)
- Make a list and number it 1 – 40. These will be your approaches for one week. Make sure to date the week.
- Make seven columns named: “Venue,” “Set,” “Neg,” “DHV,” “Qualify,” “Result,” & “Notes.”
- Under “venue,” record where you made your approach.
- Under “set” record how many people were in the group you had approached, even if it’s only 1.
- Under “Neg,” “DHV,” and “Qualify” check these off if you did them in your set. If things didn’t go well, chances are you didn’t do one of these things.
- For “Result,” make yourself a key. Credit goes to Brad P for this. For example, “B” = blowout, “>5” = if the conversation lasted under 5 minutes, and “<5” = if it lasted more than 5 minutes. You can also add stuff like “#” for number close (best way for a # close is simply to say: “You seem really cool. Are you single?”), “K” for kiss close, and so on. Under “Result” keep track of your results.
- Under “Notes” jot down any notes, like stuff that went good or stuff you need to improve on. Recognize the mistakes and know what to do better next time, but ALWAYS make sure to celebrate the good, too.
This will add up to 40 approaches a week, 160 approaches per month, and 480 approaches in 90 days. If you keep this up for a year, you’ll have close to 2,000 approaches. You will taste mastery. Guaranteed.
So, right now, make that checklist for Plan #1, and commit to making a daily walk for 30 days. Then start a walk NOW. You’ll see how fun and easy it is. You’re on your way.
Practice is the only way to success with women. All the great pickup artists went through the same exact drills. The cool thing is… after a while, it’s not even about women. It’s about knowing who are more, and becoming your best self.
And that’s what being an attractive man is all about.
my new goal right now is to do 100 approaches a month and have them all recorded (via spy glasses) and uploaded on youtube. i want to have 300 by the end of the semester.
Super-realistic goal. What is that? 25 approaches/week? If you go out three times/week and do 8-10 approaches/night you’ll easily hit those numbers. Definitely wanna hear how it goes. What’s your YouTube Channel? I’ll subscribe.
im On It.
Im your fan…
Excellent! Great to hear, man. Thank-you. Let me know how things go.
Its going well. One fo my friend suggest Rules of the game.. For practice..
Are you okay with that ?
confirm me. then i will follow rules of the game
I know my reply is a little late, but HIGHLY RECOMMEND “Rules of the Game” by Neil Strauss.
The subtitle is deceiving though… no one masters the game in only thirty days. Took me eight months going out 4-5 nights a week before I felt at least competent. And I’m still learning. The subtitle’s a marketing gimmick.
And the book takes you as far as getting a phone number. You’ll finish the book, and you might not know what the next step is.
But the book gives daily exercises so you’re actually DOING rather than just reading. Because it emphasizes practice, it’s a FANTASTIC place to start.
Thanks for your blog and your book. Both are awesome. I have a question regarding the first plan and is: At what number do you recommend that we should aim for the smiles, hellos and small talk. I mean maybe we should take the walk and at least 5 days smiling at girls X number of times per day before starting to say hello in the next days. And so on with the chat. What’s your recommendation with this??
Thank you very much
First of all, THANK-YOU so much for the kind words about the blog AND the ebook. I appreciate your reading them a lot. Your comment made my day.
Second of all, to answer your question about “Plan #1,” it sounds like you’re referring to the blog post “How to Practice Pickup“? If that’s what you’re referring to, here’s the answer.
In Plan #1 you only have to smile at people you walk past, say “hi” to one person, and extend the conversation past “hi” with one attractive woman on your 15-30 minute walk. The conversation can be as quick and simple as the weather or how lovely her style is or about the Super Bowl (I’m writing this on Super Bowl Sunday). Wish her a “nice meeting you,” then you’re done.
Here’s the tracker I created for this walk. Hopefully, checking it out might clarify the process even more. And feel free to use it. It helps keep a guy on track.
Once your complete Plan #1 (15-30 minute walk per day for 30 days), you’re ready for Plan #2. When I first learned pickup, I did Plan #1 myself and it helped me big time in forming the habit of being a friendly person. That habit is a prerequisite for pickup.
Great question Jose! Please let me know if I answered it adequately. And if you have any other questions whatsoever, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’d love to hear them!
Good luck out and great job getting out there IMPLEMENTING this stuff.
Pingback: Picking Quick Solutions In Dating Sites for Adults – liyongzheng
I have been following modern day methods of natural self-amusement game for about 2 years now, but i have been stuck in intermediate purgatory, my results are only sometimes and never consistent, therefore i have realised its because i don’t know the basics of pickup and i dont know the structures. so i have recently started getting into the mystery method and its mind-blowing. i’m excited to apply these fundamentals. i will be recording my approaches, taking photos and sharing my journey on my Instagram page/facebook page and youtube.
Fantastic Jozzay. I agree that Mystery’s ideas are mind-blowing. They have personally helped me a lot.
And recording your approaches is an excellent way to improve, because it forces you to reflect on things you did well (so you can continue them) and what you can improve (so you can improve them). It’s a scientific approach, and it takes Socrates’ advice “to know thyself.”
Thanks so much for sharing and good luck on your journey!
This is bullshit, Guys don’t think about stacking & demonstrating high value too much, it will fuck you up and you will give up. Blogs & videos will mess up too, because you have to learn on your own not from other peoples social experiences.
The 1 & only way to get layed & learn how to communicate with Women who are STRANGERS better is always Approaching.
What are the reasons for everything I just said?
Somethings think just talking will get them girls then when they start approaching they realize fast this is not true.
So someone who is serious & not Lazy in picking up Women will
2. Take care of his physique
3. Get a good haircut more often
4. Style his hair more often
5. Buy better clothing that flatters him.
After you do all that then this is why at least 50% of men quit, he will go out their and feel like he doesn’t after to work that hard & approach half ass and still get no ass.
So at that moment 50% of men quit. Now the other men who maybe take A break from approaching because that’s good sometimes if your getting no where think to themselves “(what the f*ck is going on)”. After that break men take from approaching Women, the guys who can’t figure it out QUIT. So now theirs A small number of men left.
At that point after I finished A 2 week break of not Approaching Women I went to the mall & approached 2 Girls horrible & got rejected.
I felt good after that because I REALIZED A couple of things & here they are –
1. Looks or taking care of yourself is only A bridge to make the beginning of the interaction easier, it’s not ENOUGH to get Poosy.
2. The truth about approaching is the first 2 Approaches every time most likely will SUCK, so their more of A warmup, after the 2 approaches you will be looser & more confident.
3. BLOGS & YOUTUBE VIDEOS will give you very LITTLE help, if anything guys like Mystery, Todd v dating, etc will really fuck up your chances in picking up Women. The real know how in being better with picking up Women is doing it yourself. Reason for this is every man is different & you have to learn what style, way of talking, body behavior, etc is best for you.
4. Reason 4 is kind of A continuous of reason 3. The reason why Todd, Mystery, julien Blanc will fuck up your chances in getting layed or give you very little help in it is –
Todd’s style is very very precise & has to many f*cking stupid things in it, most guys will not do his style of game never.
Mystery is in Todd’s category
Julien Blanc is ok but still might not be your style.
In the end of the day approach as much as you can, but don’t burn yourself out because it’s not that serious & your most likely not going to be the next best pickup artist anyway.
Force yourself to find A girl to approach at least 5 A week & you should get somewhere but don’t kill yourself.
There’s a famous quote from Kant that goes: “theory without practice is empty and practice without theory is blind.” Maybe you’re talking about theory without practice. You’re right, too much theory (especially without practice) is empty.
However, I think it is helpful to have some theory when you’re in the field so you’re not going in blind. That’s what blogs like this are meant to provide. It’s meant to give some “rules of thumb” to supplement practice.