You may already seen this video, but I still had to share it. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out. It’s hilarious.
“First, she needs to feel appreciated for the unique individual that she is. She needs to feel special, unlike any other woman, and she needs to know that her man supports her in her endeavors.
Second, she needs to feel that deep, intimate emotional connection. She needs to have that emotional intimacy with her man. It’s a connection she shares only with him.
Third, she needs to feel like a woman. She needs to feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine. She needs to enjoy all those things that come with being a woman.
Finally, she needs hot, passionate sex. She needs to be seduced, enticed, teased, and satisfied, over and over again. She needs to experience new things, in new ways, including fantasies and roles. It makes her feel desired, affirmed, and alive.”
– David Shade, “The Secrets of Female Sexuality,” p. 51.
I would add a fifth. She needs to laugh and play. She needs to feel positive feelings. Laughter and positive feelings are the feeling of love. At the heart of it all, a woman wants to give and receive love.
This fifth thing is what A2 is all about… when you banter with her, tease her, and laugh together.
The first thing, “she needs to feel appreciated for the unique individual that she is” comes during A3 after you’ve qualified her.
The second thing, “she needs to feel that deep, emotional connection” is what the comfort phase is all about. It’s about creating an emotional connection with her, developing emotional intimacy.
The third thing, “she needs to feel like a woman… beautiful, sexy, and feminine” is what the seduction phase is all about. During foreplay (S1) and Last Minute Resistance (S2) you make her feel desired, beautiful, sexy, feminine. In fact, foreplay isn’t just the physical stuff like feeling up her tits. It’s making her feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine all day… even with a simple text message or the way you look at her.
The fourth thing, “she needs hot, passionate sex” is what S3, sex, is all about.
Everything a woman must have is embedded in each phase of the pickup process. Practicing the process can help us learn how to be more successful with women in general.
It’s not hard getting a phone number. But getting a solid number that doesn’t flake? Hahaha That’s a whole other story.
The secret to getting a solid number is simple. Spend some time with her. Talk to a girl for two minutes, she might give you her phone number, sure, but the chances of it being real… or her picking up the phone the next day… is slim.
She doesn’t know who the hell you are yet.
So, talk to her for at least 25 – 40 minutes. I learned this technique from Mystery. It works.
I’m gonna go even a step further. Forget the number.
Phone game is just a pain in the damn ass. You’ve got this shoe box full of numbers, and you’ve gotta plow through ’em? Um, no thanks. Then add to that lots of times your call will go straight to her voicemail. Or if she does pick up, she’ll often be a lot more stand-offish or just plain rude. It’s miserable.
Why play phone game later, when you can take her on many “mini” dates, kiss close her, even invite her back to your place that same night? Waaaaaay easier.
But if you MUST get her number… maybe logistics aren’t in your favor that night… here’s a five step process you can follow to get a solid number close. This will increase the chances of her picking up and actually being happy to hear from you when you do call.
STEP #1: Spend AT LEAST 25-40 minutes with her BEFORE you ask for her number. This is the most important step in the process. Spend time in comfort getting to know each other.
Think of it this way. Which would be more memorable to you? A 30 second commercial that was cute and made you laugh… OR a 25 – 40 minute show that made you think or connected with you emotionally? Laughter is great, but it’s momentary. Something with substance, you remember.
STEP #2: If you’ve gotta leave, don’t just get her digits. Make plans. Just asking for her number is lame. Making plans NOW to meet up again is smart. Again, it avoids phone game later.
Tell her something like this: “This has been awesome. We should totally continue this. Let’s grab a cup of tea. When are you free?” Let her pick the date, so you’re not like “Are you free Thursday? What about Friday? What about Saturday…”
Then tell her to meet you at a specific place and a specific time. A cup of coffee or tea is totally cool.
STEP #3: Get her digits. No need for a pen and paper. Type her number into your phone. When you give her your number you can put your name as something like “Sex God” or “Man of Your Dreams” or whatever. Being cocky, playful and keeping the sexual tension up? Hell, yeah.
STEP #4: Talk for a few minutes after you exchange numbers. Don’t just get up and leave. That might give her some buyer’s remorse, like you were only after her for her number.
Wanna know a genius thing you can talk about?
Call her right there and then and pretend you’re talking to a friend about this really cute chick that you just met, and how you like her, and can’t wait to meet her for that cup of tea. She’ll probably giggle some more. Lovely.
STEP #5. When you leave, give her a hug… and if you’ve kissed her already, give her another light kiss.
Keep the physical connection alive. A bodily connection is rooted and real, a mere verbal connection is still up in the air. Again, makes you more memorable. Besides, a physical connection ensures you don’t get dumped into the friend zone. And… it makes it easier to pick up that physical connection next time you see her. Nice.
And that’s all there is to it. If you wanna a SOLID number close, get to know her. Spend AT LEAST 25 – 40 minutes with her. The rest is cake.
I was re-reading parts of The Game, and I had a revelation. When you DHV, don’t DHV to the target. DHV to the guys and to the ugly girls. The target? Ignore her.
Here’s the idea behind this…
Beautiful Women Aren’t Different From Anyone Else
Let’s talk about beautiful women for a sec. I’m talking about the most UNUSUALLY beautiful women. The 9’s and 10’s. The ones you don’t see everyday, and when you do see one you lose the ability to remember your name.
These women are so outstandingly beautiful that a lot of us guys think we have to treat them differently. We’re either too afraid to talk to them, and just stand by the sidelines and stare… Or we give her all sorts of compliments and buy her drinks and dinner.
As you know and I know, that ain’t gonna work to attract them.
When dealing with these freaks of nature, the thing to keep in mind is… they’re used to getting lots of attention, just because of their physical appearance. They’re used to being treated special because of their physical beauty, and not appreciated for their inner qualities.
On the one hand, it’s lonely being beautiful. No one sees her for who she is. Her beauty creates distance from everyone else.
On the other hand, she also wants to be UNUSUALLY beautiful, and she wants you to know it.
Look at the hours and dollars she spends making herself with makeup, getting her skin soft, smelling good, getting her hair done, choosing just the right outfit, buying the right shoes, obsessing about her weight, removing hair in weird places, even in some cases getting plastic surgery.
And acting the part of someone with an air of untouchable beauty.
Beauty gives women power. Why? Because their beauty makes a lot of us guys give our “power” away to them.
She wants to be the most beautiful woman in the room, and when we approach her, she wants to reject us. It makes her feel important.
So, the idea is to do the opposite of putting her on a pedestal. You CHALLENGE her.
In the case of Mystery’s Method, when you approach a group of people that has that INCREDIBLY beautiful woman in it… remember, women are rarely found alone… that means you actually pay attention to everyone else in the group, but her. And if she says anything TEASE her.
The message is: “You’re not getting special treatment from me just because you’re beautiful. You’re a human being just like the rest of us. ”
This creates a HUGE challenge. I mean for her, most guys are just this blur of compliments, sexual predatoriness, or approval-seeking. So when she find a guy who treats her like a human being just like everyone else, he STANDS OUT. He’s the type of a guy she doesn’t come across everyday. She does a double take. She’s attracted.
The Basic Format To All Approaches, By Mystery
So, let me share with you the passage that gave me this revelation. It’s a handout Mystery used to hand out to his workshops. You can see it on page 35 of The Game. It’s his basic format to his all his approaches.
1. Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate–approach instantly.
2. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row.
3. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.
4. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. Tell her, “It’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.” Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.
5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes, and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, but only for the obstacles.
6. Neg the target, if appropriate. If she wants to look at the pictures, for example, say “Oh my god, she’s so grabby. How do you roll with her?”
7. Ask the group, “So, how does everyone know each other?” If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they’ve been together.
8a. If it’s a serious relationship, eject politely by saying, “Pleasure meeting you.”
8b. If she is not spoken for, say to the group, “I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?” They always say, “Uh, sure. If it’s okay with her.” If you’ve executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree.
9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, it’s on. Start looking for other IOIs.
10. Sit with her and perform a rune reading, an ESP test, or any other demonstration that will fascinate and intrigue her.
11. Tell her, “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI.
12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word “So?” If she does, then you’ve now seen three IOIs and can…
13. Kiss close. Say, out of the blue, “Would you like to kiss me?” If the setting or circumstances aren’t conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, “I have to go, but we should continue this.” Then get her number and leave.
Sample Script (Mystery)
You can find all routines here “My Routines Collection.”
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. Hey did you see the fight outside? (Girl Fight Story)
3. That’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.
4. Multiple thread The Hollywood Sign Story, ESP, and a qualifier to different people:
“Do you have a good imagination? You do? I want you to think of a number from 1 – 4. We’re starting small, that’s why we’re starting with you. That’s right, I said it! Do you have it in your mind? Don’t say it, just think it. The first number that pops into your head. Got it?
“I’m curious about something before we get to that. Is there more to you than meet the eye? I mean, don’t get a big head. There’s a lot of beautiful people around us, right? Beauty is very common. Would you not agree? You know what’s really rare?
“Are you thinking of that number? Focusing? 3. Nice! (or, if incorrect “And that’s why ESP is bullshit.”) Let’s up the stakes (or let’s try it again). Pick a number this time from 1 -10. You got it? Nice.
“Oh, by the way, have you ever been to the Hollywood sign? (You can create your own variation of this story based on something similar to the Hollywood sign in your hometown. For example, everywhere there’s a place where you get away from it all to look at the stars.) Have you ever gone to the base of it? Have you climbed up to it? Well, I went with a lovely girl (preselection switch) at the time and went up to the sign. It takes a good 40 minutes and you have to climb a fence. Next time you go, bring good shoes that will get you up there with no problem. Because you don’t want to get up there with leather shoes like I did, like a moron. That was my learning experience. But when you’re up there you can see all of Hollywood in one eye shot and it really gives you the clarity that anything is possible if you dream. Then you see it all in one eye shot. It’s inspiring.
“You got that number in your mind? 7. Nice. See, what’s really rare is a great outlook and a great personality, a great energy. That’s rare. You’ve got 2 out of 3. That’s a great start.”
5. So, how does everyone know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool.
8. Kino hand-squeeze test as you lead her through crowd.
9. Have you ever done of The Cube? (The Cube)
10. Stop talking… she reinitiates the conversation.
11. Would you like to kiss me?
12. I have to go, we should continue this. Get her number. (OR Bounce her: Let’s get back to your friends. There’s a great place across the street. We should go with you and your friends.)
Sample Script (Style)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds
2. Hey, let me get your take on something. I’ve only got a sec but… (Jealous Girlfriend)
3. Wow, you guys are like from the View. This one I can tell we would NOT get along.
4. Multiple thread Ring Routine, The Best Friend Test, C & U Smiles:
“I have to ask before I run. Do you always wear a ring on that finger? The reason I’m asking is the finger a person chooses to put a ring on says something about their personality. The fact you wear a ring on that finger says something fascinating about you. Let me see your hand. Back in ancient Greece, each mound represented a different god. And a person back then would put a ring on the associated finger to honor that god.
“Oh my God, hold on a sec. How long have you known each other? See I knew that! Well, for one, you have the same exact smile. And for two, well, I’ll just give you the Best Friend Test. Ready? Do you use the same shampoo? (They look at each other first) You don’t even have to answer, you already passed. You looked at each other before even answering the question. You just did it again. And again. See, if you weren’t close, you’d keep eye contact with me. But when two people have a connection, they make eye contact first, even over something as mundane as shampoo. Nice.
“Okay, so the rings. Very interesting what it says about each of you. The thumb represented Hades, the god of the underworld. He was one of the few gods that lived separate from Mount Olympus, just like the thumb is separate from the other fingers. So, someone who wears a ring on this finger is independent and doesn’t like to follow other people’s trends. Instead, they like to make their own.
“The index finger was Zeus, and he was the king of the gods. And just like when a mother is scolding their daughter (act this out), someone who wears a ring on this finger has an inclination to take charge.
“The middle finger was Dionysus, the god of wine and partying and having a great time. And just like this finger represents something that’s not G-rated, someone who wears a ring on this finger has a little bit of a wild side. So, watch out for her. She’s trouble.
“Haha. Smile for me again? You have a U Smile! That’s awesome. Well there’s U smiles and C smiles. The U Smile is when you smile and your teeth go straight back into your mouth like a horse. And the C Smile is when you smile and all you see is a row of pearly whites in the front. If you ever look on the cover of like Cosmo or Glamour, the girl always has a C Smile. You have a U smile, but don’t worry, I still think you’re hot… in that short school bus sort of way. *smile*
“So, the ring finger is one of the coolest. This was Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And you can look this up, it’s true. This finger is the only one that has a vein that goes straight to your heart without branching off. (demo line going from finger to her heart). So anyone who wears a ring on this finger is actually making a direct connection with their heart. That’s why to this day we’ll wear our wedding ring on this finger.
“Finally, the pinky finger was Ares, the god of war. And you’ll notice a lot of mobsters will wear their ring on this finger. Someone who wears a ring on this finger has some inner turmoil or conflict within. They like to fight. And if you had given someone a pinky ring back then it mean ‘fuck you’ or ‘go to hell.’
“And for someone who doesn’t wear rings, like me that meant you were aligned with Hermes. He was one of the most mischievous of the gods. And he was the one that flew from Mount Olympus to earth. So, someone who doesn’t wear rings is open-minded, loves to travel, likes to be helpful, but has a little bit of a mischievous side. And that’s definitely me. But your personality is… Any truth to that? Pretty cool, right? You guys are awesome.”
5. So, how do you all know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool. Have you ever done the Cube? (You could also do EV or Secret Self here too)
8. Beauty is common.
9. Stop talking.
10. Evolution Phase Shift Routine.
11. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her and her friends
Sample Script (Brad P)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. You look familiar. Do you like horses? (Tell the story to the whole group)
3. Do you mind if I talk to your friend for a sec?
4. Have you ever had your palm read? (Brad P’s Palm Reading)
5. Beauty is common…
6. Stop talking
7. On a scale of 1 – 10, how good of a kisser are you?
8. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her
Sample Script (My own)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. I have this rule that whenever I see someone attractive I have to at least say hi.
3. Quit looking at my chest my eyes are up here.
4. You guys seem really cool. My passion in life is writing. Are you passionate? What’s something you guys enjoy doing?
6. I’m making her my new girlfriend. We’re gonna fly to Vegas tomorrow and get married. You can be Catwoman, and I’ll be Batman. It’ll be awesome.
7. Do you mind if I talk to her for a sec?
8. I want to show you something really cool. Someone just did this with me recently. It’s a great, quick way to get to know someone. In fact, a lot of people don’t even know this about themselves. (Use her answer about passion as a springboard to Style’s EV)
9. Beauty is common…
10. Stop talking.
11. Brush hair out of face, and kiss.
12. We should continue this, and get her number… or bounce her.
Next time you go out, try out any of the scripts I’ve given you that’s most aligned with your personality.
When you deliver the DHV, make sure to do it to the ones you’re NOT interested in. Make eye contact with EVERYONE. Your target? Neg her. This allows you to convey your personality and win over her friends. And with the target, the negs/banter/cocky-funny lines create sexual tension and show her you’re that rare man that’s interested more in a woman’s inner beauty than her superficial, external shell.
DHV to the whole group, not to the target.
Let’s say you’re getting REALLY great with women. You’ve been going out four times a week for the last eight months, you’ve been keeping track of your approaches, and girls are starting to respond BEAUTIFULLY. They’re laughing, you’re the most interesting guy in the room, and you’re making them chase.
Guess what? You’re going to have a whole new problem on your hands. More than one girl is going to want sex from you.
I know, I know. This is a problem? Haha Well, it’s a QUALITY problem.
For example, let me ask you this question. Is it okay to sleep with more than one woman at the same time?
You object you say? Well, check out my take on the whole subject.
As long as a girl knows you’ve got other women in your life, and she’s okay with that, I see absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with multiple women at the same time.
I’ll say it again. As long as you’re HONEST about the fact that you sleep with other women and she agrees to that condition, how are you being dishonest or unethical about sleeping with other women?
And this goes without saying, but use protection. Of course.
Here’s the other side to this. If you tell a woman you’re going to be faithful to her and you both agree to these terms, then be faithful. Break up with her before you cheat on her.
But if you’re single, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeing multiple women. In fact, it can be a good thing.
I mean, would you buy the first shirt you try on in a store, or would you try on different ones to see which fit best? So, how are you supposed to find a woman who’s right for you if you get into a monogamous relationship with the first woman you sleep with?
Now, the big question is this. HOW do you be honest with a woman that you’re sleeping with other women in a way that doesn’t turn her off?
And let me just say right here that… not every girl is gonna love the idea. That’s okay. But you’ll be surprised how many girls will be totally okay with it. To make her feel comfortable with it, there’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
Believe me, I’ve done the wrong way many times. So, learn from my mistakes. I’m gonna give you six steps to follow. By the way, I learned these from Brad P and Joshua Pellicier, and have field tested them myself. They work.
STEP #1. SOW THE SEED.
Sow the seed in the first ten to fifteen minutes of meeting her. You’ve got a few ways to do this.
Option #1: Banter. Joke about how you’ve got a lot of girlfriends. Or if she’s grabbing at you, tell her to take a number. Or if she says something you like, tell her you’re going to make her your Tuesday girlfriend and if she’s good, you’ll make her your Friday girlfriend (where the real fun is). Come up with your own stuff if you’d like. But play the role of a guy who’s got lots of girls in his life.
She’ll get the message on a subconscious level. Like the old adage goes, jokes have a kernel of truth.
Option #2: Tell stories. You can tell stories about how you’re from out of town, or you can tell an embarrassing story about how you’ve got girls fighting over you (see “Wrong Number” story under the “Funny Stories” section of “My Routines Collection” for an example).
Option #3. Tell her you’re polyamorous. (credit: Joshua Pellicier) This is probably the best way to go, because it’s the most upfront. No gray areas here. Here’s an example of how that exchange might go:
- You: “How did your last relationship end?”
- She: “Oh, he was jealous. It ended. Whatever.”
- You: “I don’t have that problem anymore because I changed something about the way I’m in relationships now. But yeah… I remember what that was like and it completely sucks!”
- She: Talks about jealousy, fear, lying, apathy, or selfishness.
- You: “You know that doesn’t happen in a polyamorous relationship. Have you ever considered just being polyamorous with guys that make you feel that way?”
- She: “What is polyamory?”
- You: “Poly means many and amor means love, so polyamory means lots of loves. I have many girlfriends at the same time. They’re free to date who they want, too. And if a girl’s not comfortable with it, I don’t date her. But they all know about each other ahead of time.”
If she’s not cool with it, then you don’t date her.
STEP #2. ANSWER OBJECTIONS.
Here’s some objections you might get and how to handle them. Again, credit goes to Joshua Pellicer for this.
Objection #1: “I could never do that.”
Response: “Hey, it’s not for everyone. But if you ever meet a guy who’s good at it, I highly suggest you try it out. It’s an amazing experience because there’s no relationship drama. A lot of the girls who are dating me are doing it for the first time, and love it. Not a lot of guys know how to do it right, but if you ever run into another one, try it out. It’s fun.”
She: “Okay, yeah, I’ll try that out”
Objection #2: “Are you sleeping with all of them?”
Response: “Well, yeah, most of them. I mean I’m not going to deprive them of sex. But we also have a 100% protection rule. We always use protection. But, yeah, I’m sleeping with most of them.”
Objection #3: “What kind of girl would actually do that?”
Response: “Girls like you that are confident. They’re trying it out for the first time, and are completely comfortable with it.”
Objection #4: “Do they all know about each other?”
Response: “Absolutely. If she’s not comfortable with it, then I don’t date her. I don’t sleep with her, nothing.”
Objection #5: “So you’re cheating then?”
Response: “No. All the girls all know about each other. And they’re all cool with it. You can’t cheat. Everyone is open about seeing other people, so there’s no cheating.”
Objection #6: “So you never want to get married?”
Response: “I definitely do. I’m in a dating phase of my life. But someday I hope I get married. And someday they’ll probably get married and I hope that for them. They’ll leave and that’s okay.”
Objection #7: “What kind of girls are these girls?”
Response: “They’re from all walks of life. There’s a girl who’s from Thailand. There’s a girl who’s studying to become a CNA. There’s a girl who’s a waitress. There’s a girl who’s a real estate agent. There’s a girl who works in a bookstore. There’s a girl who’s a stripper, a hippie, and a teacher. ”
If you don’t have any girlfriends, you can say: “I’m not sleeping with all of them”… and “The girls I’ve dated in the past are from all walks of life.”
STEP 3. ESCALATE QUICKLY. Escalate physically quickly, touching often. Act the role of a seducer, not someone who’s courting her.
But when you escalate, remember to push her away, too. This creates sexual tension. Pull her in and push her away. Logic goes out the door for her. All that’s on her mind is… yum.
STEP 4. REINFORCEMENT.
This step is all-important. Women will believe your actions more than your words. If you say you don’t want a relationship, but then ACT like you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to believe your words. More important than talking about it is ACTING it.
What does that mean?
- Don’t buy her dinners or do other “courting” behaviors before you sleep with her.
- Don’t sleep with her more than twice a week.
- Don’t call her more than twice a week.
- Don’t email her more than four times a week.
These are guidelines I’ve picked up from Brad P that I’ve been found to be solid.
The more often you see a woman in a week, the more she’ll think she’s your girlfriend even if you say you don’t want one. But the less contact you have with her in a week, the more she’ll believe your words.
Here’s four other reinforcement techniques you can use that I picked up from Pellicier.
#1. Ask her opinion of other girls: “What do you think about that girl?”
#2. Fish for jealousy: “That girl is hot.” If she get jealous, bad sign. She won’t be okay with you sleeping with other girls.
#3. Don’t be available: “Hey, I won’t be available to hang out until Thursday.” If she ever asks you to cancel plans, reinforce polyamory: “Remember this is a polyamorous relationship. I’m still here for you, but on my own terms.” If that doesn’t work, run. You’ve got a jealous girl on your hands.
#4. Don’t build rapport too fast: Get things sexual fast. THEN build rapport. Too much rapport before sex can lead to hurt feelings, confusion or anger. Keep the emotional connection mellow, until later.
STEP 5. SEX.
Give her an amazing sexual experience. Give her orgasms. And she’ll keep coming back for more.
And it’s courteous to sleep with her at least twice. It shows you cared about her experience.
It’s okay to cuddle and connect with her. But connect like a friend, not a boyfriend. Keep things light with some fun banter, or go into normal conversation or light rapport, not the deep rapport.
DON’T make any plans with her. She can tell you about her problems, ask advice, share what’s going on in her life… but if she starts to talk future stuff, cut it off. Reinforce this relationship is polyamorous.
If you can, let her stay. Have breakfast. If she needs a ride, give her one.
But once she leaves, keep up the search. Don’t get too attached to one person, unless you want a monogamous relationship.
Okay, so those are the six steps.
Pick a way to sow the seed from Step #1 and incorporate it into your stack. Next time you go out, sow the seed within ten minutes. Believe in your bones you’re a catch. Act the part of a man women want. She’ll believe it on an emotional level and she’ll feel attraction. Acting the part of a man with an abundance of women in his life happens to also be THE critical piece to attracting women.
Every man should go through this experience. It raises your confidence and I’ve personally learned so much about myself and about women going through it. Also, when you do find that one good woman, it makes monogamy that much sweeter.
Just remember, when you do go through this, do it in a way that always leaves a woman better off than when you first met her.
Here’s all my routines. Check em out if you’d like.
I know there’s a lot of controversy over using routines. Here’s my take on them.
Without routines, chances are you’ll fall flat on your face. They’re icebreakers. Use them and not only will you break the ice, you can lead the conversation somewhere. Best of all, after using routines for a while, you’ll get to the point where you won’t need them anymore.
Here’s how I organized them all:
- PHASE ONE: ATTRACT
- A1 Open.
- 1. Direct
- 2. Indirect
- A2. Banter/Neg (part 1 of 2)
- 1. Banter Lines
- 2. Funny Stories
- 3. Kino
- 4. Contingencies
- A2. DHV (part 2 of 2)
- 1. Your Passion
- 2. Observations About Her
- 3. Super Optional “Bubble Gum” Routines
- A3. Qualify (part 1 of 3)
- 1. What’s Beyond Your Looks?
- 2. Are You Passionate?
- 3. What Abilities Do You Have?
- 4. What Interests Do You Have?
- A3. Statement of Interest (part 2 of 3)
- A3. Isolate or Number Close (part 3 of 3)
- 1. Isolation Close
- 2. Number Close
- PHASE TWO: COMFORT
- Create an Emotional Connection
- PHASE THREE: SEDUCTION
- Setting a Romantic/Sensual Mood
- 1. Romantic Questions
- 2. Ross Jeffries’ Patterns
- 3. Sexual Subjects
- Going for the Kiss
- Extract to Seduction Location
- END GAME: FOREPLAY AND SEX
I give you routines at every step of the way. They’re organized within the structure that I use… based on The Mystery Method, of course:
- A reason for talking with her
- Banter within your first TWO sentences. Communicates “I’m not trying to get you”
- Initiate a topic of conversation that gives value to her
- Qualify her.
- State your interest in her.
- Either isolate her or make plans for a Day 2
- Create an emotional connection
- Kiss her… but don’t make-out yet
- Invite her to a “sex location”
- Build anticipation with foreplay
- Give her orgasms
Attract first, create an emotional connection second, and seduce last.
And start practicing right now. If you stay on the path being consistent, you’ll become a pickup artist to contend with. Guaranteed. Even better, the whole process will change your life. I know it did for me.
Let me know how it goes. And best of luck.
I want to share with you an idea that changed my thinking about how to be successful with women.
It came from “Double Your Dating” by David DeAngelo.
This is what he said:
“…women have a ‘shadow’ or dark side.
This dark side is secretly wanting a man that is in control of himself, his reality, and them.
But they’d never admit it – often not even to themselves.”
When I first read that, it gave me a MASSIVE jolt in my thinking.
He went on…
“But their unconscious knows and recognizes this as something that they want. They hold a kind of inner CONTEMPT for the weak people (especially men) who give them everything they want…”
A lot of us guys think we have to put a woman on a pedestal for her to like us. We have to kiss her ass. Buy her drinks at a bar to get her to talk to us. Get her flowers and jewelry to woo her. Spend lots of money on dinner before she’s even had sex with us to get sex. And later down the line if she gets upset or acts bitchy, just put up with it.
Basically, keep spoiling her like a brat.
The funny thing is, the more we do that kind of stuff, the more we turn her off. She’ll see us as “Oh, he’s just a guy I use to buy me things” or “he’s just my boy toy.” It’s counter-intuitive, but she resents and disrespects a guy who gives her too much.
I understand it’s not politically correct to say this. But what women really want is a guy who’s in charge. A guy who doesn’t put up with her bullshit and who’s not afraid to call her on it–respectfully, of course. A man who expects her to carry her own weight. Who doesn’t reward her bad behavior. Who isn’t afraid to draw boundaries.
She doesn’t want to dominate a guy. And I think you and I can agree that we don’t want to be dominated by a woman. Would that make you feel like a man? Of course not. Being in control of yourself and them (as a leader, NOT an oppressive dictator) does.
Well, good news is, a woman wants a dominate man. She might have her life together, but she still wants a man who can dominate her, someone who can rescue her, someone she can look up to. A dominate man allows her to relax, surrender, and he makes her feel like a woman.
I’ll give you a quick example.
Let’s say you approach a woman and in the middle of your opener she starts looking at her phone. Or if her friends come in, she starts talking to her friends, leaving you out.
I don’t know about you, but that’s just plain rude.
Like you, I’ve been in that situation. It sucks.
You could just go along with it.
Or, you could say something like “Hey, party’s over here” if she’s looking at her phone.
And “Introduce me to your friends, it’s the polite thing to do” if she’s talking to her friends without acknowledging you.
(Credit goes to Tyler Durgen for the first line and Mystery to the second line. I use em all the time. Veeeery effective.)
The point is, call her on her shit–respectfully.
I guarantee she’ll stop what she’s doing and she’ll make some excuse for her rudeness, then pay full attention to you. I’d put money that she’d feel more attracted to you because she might say to herself, “Here’s a man that won’t let me get away with my bullshit. This is a man I can respect.”
A woman wants a man who can take control. She doesn’t really want to be the one who has to make all the decisions or manipulate you and get her way by acting like the world revolves around her. She wants to dance with a man who takes a strong lead and who keeps her in check.
Domination is a HUGE turn on for women. You could say it’s THE key to attracting women.
I was listening to a David DeAngelo interview with a guy named Gay Hendricks about what makes a successful relationship.
Gay Hendricks is a psychologist with a PhD from Standford. He’s written a lot of books on the subject of relationships and the mind-body connection. 25 of those books were written with his wife, who’s also a psychologist. They got some acclaim when Oprah featured them together on her show. And ever heard of the underground classic “Radical Honesty“? He helped Brad Blanton publish that book. But his best credential is probably that he’s been married for like 30 years and he and his wife are still in love.
His take was it takes 3 things to keep a relationship alive.
1. Complete and total honesty. Most of us humans walk around the world deceiving others and deceiving ourselves. If you’re completely honest with her, and she’s honest with you, neither of you hide. Instead, you allow yourself to be seen completely. Transparent. That’s how you get intimacy. And that’s how you get communication.
2. Take responsibility for your own actions. We humans are also quick to criticize, point the finger and find fault with each other. We do all that before we look at ourselves and see our part in things. It always takes two to tango. If something goes awry, it’s not that she’s a bitch. You had your part to play in things. Before blaming or criticizing, look to yourself first and learn what you could have done better. She must do the same. This creates a positive environment, not a negative one. Who wants to be in a negative environment? Create a positive environment. Don’t criticize. Rather, see her good, and take responsibility for yourself.
3. Have your own life, and always seek to grow. A good relationship is one where both people can develop as human beings. Seek to grow continuously, and find a woman who wants to grow and develop herself continuously, too. Otherwise the relationship will become co-dependent and will choke you and her. Love your woman, but love her second. Don’t make your relationship #1. She’ll feel smothered. Make your deepest purpose in life #1.
4. I’d add a fourth thing: sex. Woody Allen said it best: “once the sex goes, the whole relationship goes.” Without sex, what do you have? Exactly. A friendship. Sex is a super-glue. It keeps a couple together, and it keeps the passion alive. Sex is communication. It creates physical intimacy and unity that words alone can never accomplish.
A lot of people when they get into a relationship, think all the work’s been done. Why put the effort in anymore? They stop stop looking or being their best, most attractive selves. Everything you did to win your woman by putting your best foot forward, NEVER STOP DOING.
Keep creating sexual tension, keep being interesting and being the man, have a life outside the relationship, and don’t ever stop being that obnoxious couple. Once you stop, that’s when the relationship goes south. Keep creating those wonderful feelings you felt at the beginning of a relationship. And keep seeing the best in her.
The poet-artist Kahlil Gibran
talks about relationship and space in the chapter “On Marriage” in his book “The Prophet.” Here marriage refers to relationships, too:
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillar of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadows.
Ever wondered where to put your hands?
Let’s say you’re standing in a bar talking with a girl. Where do you put your hands? How do you stand?
Put your hands to your sides. If you keep your arms at a 90 degree angle, it looks stiff. If you cross your arms, you block your heart. It’s defensive and closed. If you put your hands in your pocket, that’s also defensive.
However, if you keep your hands to your sides, it looks natural and RELAXED.
Relaxed = confidence.
It might feel uncomfortable having your hands at your sides at first. It’s like you want to do something with your hands. Try this trick.
Press your middle finger and thumb together.
It’s a trick that’s been around for awhile, and it works. It gives your hands something to do. It eliminates any nervous ticks. And it forces you to stand still and calm.
Same thing goes when you hold your drink. It’s not recommended to drink while you’re out approaching. You want your mind to be as clear as possible. Would you play chess when you’re buzzed? But let’s say you do order a beer or a glass of water or something. If you’re standing, how do you hold your drink?
Again, relax your arm. Don’t hold your drink in a way that blocks your heart. And don’t hold your arm at a 90 degree angle. It’s stiff. Hold your drink with your arm extended to your side. It’s more open. It’s relaxed. And you look the opposite of insecure… you look right at home.
When standing, the same idea of relaxation applies. Don’t stand with your weight perfectly distributed on your right and left foot.
This makes you look like a stiff square. Instead, lean most of your weight on one foot, like in the picture below.
Again, it makes you look more natural and relaxed.
I wrote up a post about body language here. I’ve got a lot more tricks and tips there.
But whenever you’re in doubt, remember to relax. Keep your drink and your hands to your sides. When you relax, it makes the woman you’re talking with feel relaxed, too. You can’t seduce her unless she’s relaxed.
This is such a simple technique, but a lot of guys don’t do it.
Ready for it?
Simple as that.
You can do this when you approach a woman. And you can do it when you’re on a day 2 with her.
Tell me if you’ve ever felt this way when you’re on a Day 2 with her.
You walk into a local shop together to look around, and you feel like you have to be attached to her hip every step of the way.
Ever done that before? I know I have.
Luckily, you don’t have to do that. In fact, DON’T.
Walk away. Give her a little space. Check out something that catches your eye, then rejoin her.
You’ll be WAAAAAAAAY more attractive if you do.
Same exact thing on the approach.
God knows I’ve made this mistake. Tell me if it sounds familiar.
You see a hot girl with a friend or two walking to a bar. You stop them, and you stand perfectly square across from the hot one, with your feet planted in the cement like you were a statue and you deliver your entire opener to her, completely ignoring the other girls.
Then you wonder why the hot girl is looking for an escape, and why her friends are trying to drag her away.
Okay, so obviously ignoring the friends = bad. Make eye contact with every person in the group. Wanna keep everyone’s attention? Hello eye contact.
And then of course, don’t plant your feet into the pavement. What, are you a tree now? And don’t have your body perfectly square to one girl.
Have your feet and your body face away from her, as if you’re about to leave. Better yet, stand side by side with one of the girls.
Ahhhhh. Much better. And much friendlier.
After you deliver your opener, walk away if you have to. You can always notice something else, like their ring, and continue the conversation with something like the ring routine.
Or if you run into them again, you can say hi. No longer strangers. Nice.
And of course, if you walk away, there’s a good chance they’ll want to reengage you.
There’s something about walking away that creates attraction.
You don’t have to be the most incredibly polite person the world has ever seen. You can be a normal human being. And walk away.
We pursue that which retreats. The negative space creates attraction. A negative pole draws in the positive. Giving her that space makes her feel more comfortable, and it allows her to come to you.
That’s what I’m talking about.