A Structure I Use
Here’s a structure I’ve used to great success.
STEP ONE: OPENER
“You looked kinda cool, so I had to come over and say hi.”
“I’ve got this rule that whenever I see someone attractive, I’ve gotta come over and say hi.”
Your body isn’t directly facing theirs. Your body faces away from them. Legs reveal what the mind wants to do.
It also makes them feel not trapped, but comfortable–you’re not going to be there forever.
Her reaction: Smiles.
STEP TWO: BANTER
Tap on the arm and step back.
“Hey quit looking at my chest. My eyes are up here! Jeez. All you girls think about is one thing.”
Her Reaction: Laughs.
STEP THREE: APPRECIATE
“You guys seem cool. You don’t mind a complete stranger coming up to you and saying crazy stuff.”
Her Reaction: Yes, we’re cool talking with strangers.
STEP FOUR: SELF-DISCLOSURE
“My passion in life is writing, and I can’t think of a better way to have material to write about than meeting new people.”
Her Reaction: Agreement.
STEP FIVE: QUALIFY
“How about you? What are you passionate about?”
Her Reaction: You’ll be surprised how few people know what they’re passionate about. I’ll help by saying something like:
“Well, what’s something you really enjoyed doing when you were like seven?”
“What’s something you love doing and you just totally lose track of time, like you could do forever?”
Her Reaction: Thinks, then figures something out.
Converse on this for a bit. Style’s “Eliciting Values” works great here too.
STEP SIX: STATEMENT OF INTEREST & CLOSE
“Are you single? You seem really cool and I’d love to continue this conversation.”
“Okay, I’m totally making you my new girlfriend. We’re gonna go to Vegas tomorrow and get married by Elvis. You can wear a Catwoman costume, and I’ll be Batman. It’ll be awesome. Are you single? We should totally hang out. When are you free?”
Make a date there and then. It avoids phone tag later.
STEP SEVEN: CREATE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION
Once you’re alone with her, find commonalities or play a fun game like The Cube or The Question Game. Deepen the mutual self-disclosure. Open up. She’ll follow your lead.
STEP EIGHT: PHYSICAL ESCALATION
Brush a hair from her face. Slow your breathing and blinking. If she’s cool with you brushing a hair from her face, she’ll be cool with you kissing her. Keep the first kiss light and short. Not too much tongue. ALWAYS pull away first. Leave her wanting more.
STEP NINE: EXTRACT TO SEDUCTION LOCATION
Invite her up for something unrelated to sex, like you want to play her a cool song, or show her a cool movie. Take 5 or 10 minutes to smell her without kissing her. During foreplay, don’t go straight for her pussy or tits. Take two steps forward, one step back. Keep pulling away. It builds sexual tension.
You don’t have to use the exact words I use. But the underlying structure works. Each step corresponds to each of the 3 things you need to fall in love. Namely:
1. Banter… creates sexual tension.
2. Self-disclose… mutual self-disclosure, part 1 (you disclose)
3. Qualify the target… mutual self-disclosure, part 2 (she discloses)
4. State your interest in the target and close the deal… she feels liked not for her looks, but for who she is.