Nothing is a Big Deal

Nothing is EVER a big deal.

If something doesn’t go right, no need to freak out. There’s always a solution to a problem. If you listen to the Stoic philosophers and to the Taoists, they seem to believe things will work out one way or another.

And in the larger scheme of things, whatever the “big” deal is, is never really THAT big of a big deal. In fact, I’m constantly getting reminded that pain is usually something to learn and grow from, not to freak out over. Wouldn’t you agree?

So, remain calm. You can handle it whatever life throws at you. You can handle it.

It’s an attitude that’s attractive to women, no doubt. I mean, how are we to supposed take care of our women, and be a strong man for our women if we can’t keep calm in the storm that’s life?

But more important than being attractive to women, it’s a critical attitude to have for life in general. I repeat this mantra to myself whenever things don’t go right, and it always helps me to stay calm and focused.

After all, what really IS the big deal? Haha

2 thoughts on “Nothing is a Big Deal

  1. shalamarrue88

    Okay.. sometimes some things are a BIG DEAL.
    The man who flips out over every little thing is not going to be attractive, he’s going to look like an emotional wreck. But there is a flip side – the man who never has any emotions and doesn’t show them, the man who is stoically un-emotional, – He isn’t attractive either.
    Women need someone who is mature enough to be able to say what is on their mind. Even if that means he says that he doesn’t get “emotional about “everything: his woman believes is an “emotional” thing. Okay – that works.

    Pain, lets address this issue.
    Pain isn’t always about learning and growing.
    Pain permits us to know when to stop. When something that we are doing isn’t what we should be doing. Pain is necessary for living. Sometimes we should freak out when we are in pain. How will others know when we are hurt if we don’t react to our pain?

    What if you can’t handle it? What if what you are dealing with in life, you need to consult someone else? What if what is going on is bigger than yourself? Do you really believe that you are more attractive to a woman because you think you are a sinking island, than someone that asks for some help?

    It’s critical to know when you are sinking, just as much as it is to know when to be calm as it is to know when you should react.

    Just some things to think on.

    1. renaissan

      I appreciate your comments, because they show you seem to take what I have to say seriously… and possibly you might even enjoy what I have to say?

      Even though I find your comments a tad argumentative and almost like you’re trying to look for negative things to say, if there wasn’t a least some respect I don’t think you’d bother to take the time to read and comment.

      So, thank-you! For all your comments and for reading. You’ve got a great ability to analyze and look for the other point-of-view. Oh, and by the way, how did you find me? I’m glad you did.

      In response:

      If “pain permits us to know when to stop” doesn’t that mean we’re learning? And that we’ve grown as a result?

      Next, why do we have to freak out when we’re in pain? Can’t we still ask for help without freaking out? And when we freak out, to what extent are we feeding the pain and turning it into suffering? Why suffer when we can just as easily listen to what the pain is asking from us, and turn it into action?

      All I’m advocating is for a man to stay calm, cool, and collected. From that viewpoint, he’s better able to solve problems more easily. If asking for help is part of the solution, that’s fine.

      Finally, you might be mixing up “staying calm” with “not showing emotion.” They’re not exclusive. For example, Buddhism talks about having equanimity despite dissonance from the outside world. But that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to smile or laugh or feel sadness or express affection for another. It just means not to feed negative emotions. Doing so may lead to instability and paralysis.

      It’s funny because taking a step back from your comments, how you described “having the ability to freak out” and “asking for help” sounds like the feminine perspective. Great. It reinforces the point I was making here. One of the gifts the masculine can offer the feminine is the ability to be a rock for her. Maybe a gift the feminine can offer is her ability to flow with emotion more?

      Either way, I still stand by what I say. Yes, emotions are great teachers and we need to listen to them. But I see nothing wrong with a guy mastering his emotions so as not to be mastered by them.


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