To get better with women, you gotta approach women. It’s the only way to success with women.
What’s that you say? Some men are above that?
Oh, you’re serious.
Well, lemme tell ya. NO man is born being great at women. The whole concept of some guys just born naturally good with women? Bullshit. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Buuuuuullshit. EVERYONE has to learn it.
Hanging out with guys who are good with women helps. But the BEST way to learn is going out there and approaching women.
Let me say this again, but in a different way, cause it’s important.
Your best teacher ain’t books or blogs like this one. They might kinda take the place of learning from a guy who’s decent with women. I mean, seeing a guy who’s good with women IN ACTION is better. But your best teacher isn’t even that.
It’s actually getting out there approaching women.
It’s scary. I’ll give you that. Even the guys who are the best with women… man, I don’t think anyone starts out totally comfortable talking to strangers. It’s uncomfortable. But to become an attractive man, that’s what you gotta do. Get good at talking with strangers.
I’ll give you two plans right here, and right now.
The first plan is a warm up, before going into bars and clubs. In fact, in the first plan, you’re not allowed to go into clubs or bars at all to pick up chicks.
The second plan you will go into bars and clubs. But the objective still isn’t to pick up chicks. It’s just to get a skill. Getting women attracted along the way will just be a cool by product. Haha
STEP #1. Take a 15-30 minute walk everyday for 30 days. Rain or shine, EVERY DAY. Find a park, a street with shops on it, a mall, anywhere that people can be found.
STEP #2. Smile. Smile at everyone. I know it might feel weird at first, but the idea is to practice being friendly. When you see a woman of particular beauty, looking her in the eye and smiling will be a natural.
STEP #3. Say “Hello” to at least one person. It does NOT matter if they say “Hello” back or even look up. Who cares if you get a reaction? Your objective isn’t a reaction. Your objective is simply to be friendly. If they can’t be friendly back, that’s their problem, not yours.
STEP #4. The first woman you see on your walk, stop her to talk. Extend the conversation past hello. You can say something as simple as “Beautiful day.”
Once you say that, you can vamoose. No need to say anything else. Feel free to stay and talk, if things are going great.
STEP #5. Keep a checklist each day. Make a list numbered 1 – 30. Make three columns named: “30 min walk,” “Hello,” and “Conversation.” Check one box if you took a walk, one box if you greeted one person with a “hello,” and one box for stopping a woman and talking with her. If you want, you can just download this tracker I made for you. Plan #1 Tracker
Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back when you’ve got three checks. That’s awesome. Ever notice how we like to be hard on ourselves, forgetting to look at the GOOD we’ve done? Celebrating your victories, however small, creates this positive feedback loop that puts you on the path to success.
Again, don’t worry about impressing anyone. Just 1) smile, 2) be friendly, 3) get comfortable talking with strangers. That’s it. It’s even okay to say something as “boring” as:
“How’s your day going?”
You’re not trying to create attraction. You’re just being open, friendly, and kind to everyone. If a girl has something to do that prevents her from talking, that’s totally cool. Wish her a good day and move on.
What you’ll find–surprise surprise–is people are actually pretty friendly. As Lance once pointed out, even shy people want contact with each other. And most people are polite enough to engage in conversations. Women don’t want to be rude to you, especially if you are genuinely friendly, genuinely good-intentioned, and not trying to trick her.
Do this drill for 30 days. Once you reach the end of your thirty days, you’ll find you’ve just established yourself a great habit, that might just change your life for the better.
You’re ready for plan #2.
Once you are comfortable talking to strangers and women, add attraction to the mix. The #1 tool for attraction is BANTER, or what Mystery calls NEGS. Here’s the plan.
STEP #1: Create a stack (a script) that includes 1 Banter line/neg, 1 DHV (a conversation starter), and 1 Qualifier (a question). Go over the stack 5x to get it into your memory.
STEP #2: Practice this stack in the mirror 5x to get your body language good.
STEP #3: Pick 4 nights a week to go out on. Commit to going out on those nights NO MATTER WHAT for at least 90 days. This is like an exercise program.
STEP #4: Make 10 approaches each night using your stack. The first 3 approaches are just warm-ups to get you into a talkative mood. If you don’t get through your stack, it’s okay. An approach can be as simple as “Hey.”
STEP #5: When you get home, keep track of your approaches. What will differentiate a great pickup artist from a good one is the action of keeping track. It helps you to reflect and it keeps you on track.
Here’s how to make a tracker for Plan #2: (If you want you can just download this tracker I made for you, too. Plan #2 Tracker pdf
Make a list and number it 1 – 40. These will be your approaches for one week. Make sure to date the week.
Make seven columns named: “Venue,” “Set,” “Neg,” “DHV,” “Qualify,” “Result,” & “Notes.”
Under “venue,” record where you made your approach.
Under “set” record how many people were in the group you had approached, even if it’s only 1.
Under “Neg,” “DHV,” and “Qualify” check these off if you did them in your set. If things didn’t go well, chances are you didn’t do one of these things.
For “Result,” make yourself a key. Credit goes to Brad P for this. For example, “B” = blowout, “>5” = if the conversation lasted under 5 minutes, and “<5” = if it lasted more than 5 minutes. You can also add stuff like “#” for number close (best way for a # close is simply to say: “You seem really cool. Are you single?”), “K” for kiss close, and so on. Under “Result” keep track of your results.
Under “Notes” jot down any notes, like stuff that went good or stuff you need to improve on. Recognize the mistakes and know what to do better next time, but ALWAYS make sure to celebrate the good, too.
This will add up to forty approaches a week, 160 approaches per month, and 480 approaches in 90 days. If you keep this up for a year, you’ll have close to 2,000 approaches. You will taste mastery. Guaranteed.
So, right now, make that checklist for Plan #1, and commit to making a daily walk for 30 days. Then start a walk NOW. You’ll see how fun and easy it is. You’re on your way.
Practice is the only way to success with women. All the great pickup artists went through the same exact drills. The cool thing is… after a while, it’s not even about women. It’s about knowing who are more, and becoming your best self.
And that’s what being an attractive man is all about.