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I met this girl and she’s really attrected to me. But she told me she doesn’ t know if i’m attrected to her. Because i haven’t said she looks beautiful or anything. I only complimented her personality but not her looks. Because i thought we shouldn’t compliment girls on their outside but inside. Do i need to tell her she looks good for her to feel secure with me? Or should i stick to the, don’t compliment a girl on the outside.
I follow this rule-of-thumb: I don’t compliment a woman’s looks until I have her in bed. Then I tell her how hot she looks, how sexy her body is, how beautiful her face is.
The reason I wait for the bedroom is because complimenting a woman’s physical beauty before I’ve had sex with her has the danger of coming off as too sexual too soon. She may also mistake me as “hitting on her.” Often girls seem to write a guy off as soon as she thinks he’s hitting on her.
The other reason is this. A woman wants to feel beautiful, absolutely. But she also wants to feel respected as a human being. Another way of saying this is: she wants her inner-beauty to be seen as much as her outer-beauty. So, if you save the outer-beauty compliments for the bedroom, it forces you to see her inner-beauty (her qualities) first.
There are always exceptions to the rule, though. If you meet a girl for a Day 2, you haven’t had sex with her yet, and she’s obviously put much effort into looking good for you it would be VERY appropriate to tell her she looks great. Hell, yeah.
That’s great this girl is so attracted to you. You are so on the right track. Please DO make her feel liked. That’s important. But let her feel liked for LEGITIMATE reasons (not just because she looks good or because you want get into her pants). You can do that by looking for her inner-beauty OUTSIDE the bedroom, and acknowledging her outer-beauty INSIDE the bedroom.
Dear Renaissan, I really like Your blog. It is very inspirational. I am a very shy guy and usually do not speak or open with anyone until I get to know him thoroughly. I got in PUA community as I had a break off (dated for less than 3 month with a girl) as I had to learn the fundamental of the life. Life is very large than girls. Actually I do not like to chase or picking up girls, I would like to have a meaning-full life with one girl.
@ Freedom: that’s wonderful! And thanks for the kind words. Much, much appreciation. Let me know how your journey’s going. What are you doing to find this special woman?