Don’t buy women drinks. Yes, I know the rule. And I would have NEVER violated it. But ONE time it worked. Big mistake. Huge
I violated the rule while I was becoming more successful with pickup. I opened this hot chick at a dance club–while she was dancing with her boyfriend–and she asked me to buy her a drink.
I knew the rule. But she was practically begging me.
We flirted at the bar over her drink. She wrote her number on the edge of a coaster when the other guy wasn’t looking and slipped it to me. When the club closed, she asked me to go to a strip club with her afterwards.
That’s when I ERRONEOUSLY thought, Maybe buying chicks drinks ain’t such a bad thing.
Then the next week happened.
I opened two girls at a bar. One was this bohemian type with tattoos up her arm, drunker than a sailor. The other girl was a hot brunette with big tits that were practically falling out of her tank top. Target: Big Tits.
They were giggling and touching me. Tattoo Girl went off to be drunk somewhere, and Big Tits and I started talking.
Tattoo Girl came back and said “I wish I could get another drink.”
Now the funny part was she wasn’t even saying it like she wanted me to buy her a drink. She was just thinking out loud. Normally I would have ignored the comment, but after the last week I thought, “why the hell not?” I bought shots for the three of us.
The entire dynamic changed. I went from cool-guy to guy-to-take-advantage-of. The girls went from facing me to facing away from me. The feeling was disgusting.
Luckily, I recovered. We still exchanged numbers. And we even flirted with the possibility of a threesome.
But the change of the dynamic was so nasty, and I had come so close to screwing things up, that it taught me NEVER to do it again.
Don’t buy her a drink!
a) Don’t offer to buy her a drink. She’s heard it so many times, you’ll stand out about as much as a gnat on a wall. Besides, she’ll let you buy her a drink and then you’ll never see her again.
b) Don’t buy her a drink if she asks you to. Instead, either ask her to buy you a drink. OR tell her you wanna get to know her first. Either way, the whole drink thing is a power game. Don’t play by the rules of this game. It’s rigged against you. And hell, why pollute the interaction with money? She should like you for you, not because you bought her something.
It’s such a ridiculous concept. Why do we have to buy her something in order for her to talk to us? Is our value as a human being that low? Or is the concept that in order to get sex we have to buy her something first, as if sex is a favor she has to do for us? Fuck, give her orgasms and she’ll be begging for it.
Get money out of the interaction. Money changes things. You’ll be categorized as “guy to use.”
Rule of thumb: don’t spend lots of money on her (a cup of tea’s okay) until AFTER you’ve had sex with her. Until then, keep the interaction pure.