Just before you have sex with a girl for the first time, sometimes you’ll encounter what Mystery calls “Last Minute Resistance.” Also known as “LMR” in the pickup community.
There’s a way to pre-empt this so it won’t even come up.
And if it does come up, there’s a smart way to handle it so a girl feels comfortable enough having sex.
The difference between knowing what to do in this situation and what not to do is the difference between a boy who whines and panics, and a man who maintains a strong lead.
Before I get into the how-to, let’s try to see where a girl is coming from when this happens.
There are nine total phases in a pickup sequence: open (A1), attraction (A2), and qualification (A3) in the ATTRACT PHASE; comfort in the pickup location (C1), comfort in neither the pickup location nor the seduction location (C2), and comfort in the seduction location (C3) in the COMFORT PHASE; foreplay (S1), last minute resistance (S2), and sex (S3) in the SEDUCTION PHASE.
The objective of S2 or “Last Minute Resistance” is to ease a girl’s hard-wired reaction to first time sex. So, let’s try to see where she’s coming from when this happens.
Mystery has a great way of breaking all this down. I’ve heard him say her Last Minute Resistance is similar to our First Minute Resistance. They feel a similar anxiety just before sex that we feel just before we approach a girl. There’s a reason Mystery made this connection.
Women have said what they feel just before they have sex for the first time is it’s like having $10,000 on red and the ball is spinning. “C’mon red, c’mon red.”
All that she’s feeling is: “Is this man going to stick around?” It doesn’t mean she wants you to actually stick around but she wants the option to be hers. Also, some girls get this anxiety because they don’t want to be seen as a slut by you or her friends, too.
The LMR pang goes away when she knows: sex or no sex you’re gonna stick around. And she’s not a slut for having sex. In fact, take full responsibility for making the sex happen. That way she can tell her friends “it just happened, it wasn’t my fault.”
So, here’s what to do.
Start your LMR campaign… knowing that you’ll be there later… 10 MINUTES INTO THE SET. For example, let’s say you’re sitting down with her in the pickup location building comfort for the first time, and she goes to the bathroom. When she comes back say something like this:
“Not to give you a big head or anything but when you left all I wanted was for you to hurry up and get your ass back here. ‘Cause there was no one else I wanted to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, you could lose me in a heart beat, but that was a feeling I wanted to share with you.”
This pre-empts LMR. So, when she’s in bed with you later and has that pang “is he gonna stick around?” she thinks back and remembers what you said.
In other words, to pre-empt LMR, let her know I’m not just going to have sex with you and forget about you. I’m gonna stick around. And it’s not my choice. My HEART is telling me to stick around. I’m thinking about you, I WANT to call you. It’s not some rational duty. You’ve hijacked my emotional heart.
She needs to know all that. She needs to know you like her for legitimate reasons, as a human being, and you’re not going to just use her.
If she knows that, her LMR circuit won’t even fire.
If her LMR still fires, here’s what you do.
Agree with her and stop. Put absolutely NO pressure on her to have sex.
Here’s what some other guys might do.
HER: “We should stop.”
GUY: “But baby what’s wrong…” And then LOGIC her to death.
Instead, say this: “I know. We should stop. We shouldn’t be doing this. And we certainly shouldn’t be doing this!” Then playfully nibble her ear or something. Make her laugh and turn her on at the same time. Haha. Love it.
I mean, she’s in bed with you. It’s just token resistance at this point. She just wants you to know she doesn’t normally do this. That’s all.
So, here’s what to remember.
1. Let her know during the comfort phase that you won’t leave her.
2. Let her know during the comfort phase that the word “slut” is bullshit and you respect spontaneous, adventurous women.
3. If you still get LMR during the seduction phase, agree, stop, and try again later.
4. One last point. If you give her lots of arousal during foreplay, believe me, she’ll want sex.
And that’s it.
Just remember, women LOVE sex. They WANT to get fucked. She might struggle with a little anxiety beforehand, but she wants it. It’s your job to make her FEEL… let me emphasize that word, FEEL, not intellectually debate, manipulate or force, FEEL… comfortable getting what she really, really wants anyway.
This is exactly my current situation right now. I hava a gf and she had a bf also. The thing is know each other 4 years ago even b4 we met our partners. B4 we keep on texting almost everyday but i was friendzoned at that time. Until recently, the communication is back. We both lay down all our cards because im a self proclaimed “responsible playboy” hahaha. Everytime we txt the topic was always about our current relationships with our respective partners and sometimes sex.
Until one night when i was near in her area, i txtd her that i wanna see her. At first she said yes but later on she change her mind. But Of course i insist, thats why we end up seeing each other. When I was droping her home later near her house, I askd her to still stay and she told me to park the car 1 block away from her house. Again We talk about life, relationships and sex. So when i was talking i paused for a moment then i heatd her asking for as kiss. Then boooom we intensely and passionately kiss each other…….then after a few minutes LMR came. Then i stop. While driving back home i txtd her that mini me is not feeling well and wanted to visit her mini me hehehe. She just replied “next time”.
So what should i do to get that next time…? Hope guys u can help me with this one. Thanks!
First of all, let me say well-done.
Awesome how preselection works, right? Initially you got friend-zoned by this chick. Then when you got a girlfriend, all of a sudden she wants you. You had value for another woman, so now she wanted you.
There were signs of LMR coming before it even happened.
Example: You were in her area. At first she said she wanted to see you, but later changed her mind.
Another example: She asked you to park your car one block from her house. She was already dealing with conflicted feelings.
Because she obviously wanted you. I mean, she asked you for a kiss and you guys kissed passionately? It was as if she had a devil on one shoulder saying “yes” and an angel on the other side saying “no.” She was conflicted.
Now, usually LMR has to do with a woman wanting to know you won’t just use her for sex. Wham, Bam, Thank-you Ma’am. She wants to know you’ll stick around after sex.
Another reason LMR triggers is because a woman fears she might be seen as a slut, which lowers her social value. She does not want that.
In this case, though, it sounds like she may have felt inner-conflict over having a boyfriend in the wings? I’m not exactly sure. But if that’s the case, here’s how to deal with the LMR next time.
Break off the kiss first. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” Then escalate later a step further. Again, be the first to stop. Wait. Then escalate a step further before. Break it off AGAIN. And on and on. One step forward, two steps back as David DeAngelo used to say.
In other words, TEASE her. What this does is build anticipation, sexual tension, and desire for more in her. Now you’re having her chase you rather than you chase you. Often that mounting desire for more will be so strong it will override her LMR.
Now, if she STILL breaks it off first, here what NOT to do. DON’T argue with her and logic her to death about why she should continue. That will NOT work. Instead, agree with her. “Yes, we should stop.” Talk for a bit. Then escalate her again.
She wants it. Help her want it even more by agreeing, stopping, then slowly escalating later. Repeat that process. Until she’s begging for it.