Tag Archives: pickup arts

Get Ego Out Of The Way

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No ego here. Just play.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to learn this learn this lesson. I’m still learning it. It’s a mindset. And it’s huge.

When you’re picking her up, get ego out of the way.

What does that mean?

Get “I’m so awesome” depending on her liking you out of your head. And get “I suck” depending on her scoffing you out of your head.

As if you want to be liked by her SO MUCH. Who’s she to be the judge of you? You know who you are. Be the one who likes HER first. Don’t wait for her to like you.

After all, who cares what she thinks of you? Like yourself. That’s all you need. Then you can worry about liking her.

What is it about ego that trips us up? Maybe it makes us focused on how we look on the outside, rather than who we really are from the inside. Not sure.

Just give her feeling good. Not in order to be liked. Not to kiss her ass. But, just to give. No strings attached. Not to get a trophy. Not to “get” her. Just to spread the good “spirit” you feel within to the world. ‘Cause it’s overflowing anyway.

We all want to feel important. But just as a gentleman lets a woman enter a building first, and lets her come first in bed, let her feel this first during a pickup. Give feeling good to her.

Make the pickup about HER, not you.

Rousseau and Pickup

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Jean-Jacques Rousseau 1712-1778

“Man was born free, and he is everywhere in chains.”

–Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract, page 1

This applies to pickup.

All of us are born socially free. But we got bound by social chains of “you can’t do this,” esteem, hurt feelings, limited thinking, insecurities.

Pickup is one way to free us from these chains.

Brad P: what all the master pickup artists have in common, despite whatever school of pickup they represent, is

Social Freedom

MOST people have social anxiety. They’re afraid of rejection, afraid to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing.

But the key to success in pickup is to break free from this anxiety and be socially free again. The way we already were as kids.

Like Rousseau says, EACH ONE OF US has freedom inside us already. We just have to return to it.

When I think of social freedom, I think of the movie The Mask.

Remember how Jim Carey transformed from this timid, Mr. Nice Guy into a wild, fearless, powerful and invincible guy when he put on The Mask?

Then Ben Stein explains The Mask had released his id from his super-conscious.  With The Mask on, he now had no more social pressures like “you’re not supposed to this” or that. Just total non-self-consciousness and freedom!

When I picture The Mask before I go into the field it’s amazing how approach anxiety kind of lessens for me. What other people think of me? Screw that. All I care about is doing the right thing… being friendly to EVERYONE and giving lots of love. That’s higher than what people might think of me.

Now here’s the best part of all this. How do we break our social restraints?

Approaching.

What could be more socially free than approaching complete strangers? Approaching is an exercise of social freedom, like an athlete exercising to become healthy and strong.

Social freedom is our natural right. It’s in ALL of us. We just have to reclaim it. The art of pickup is an awesome… and very practical… way to do this.