Compliments are just an awkward thing.
Wanna know how to give a woman a compliment the proper way? Compliment yourself.
Let’s say she has nice eyes. You might say something like this. “You’ve got nice eyes. They’re almost as nice as mine.”
That’s how you give a girl a compliment.
Here’s the rationale. A hot chick in a club or bar has been complimented and told she’s beautiful so many times, it doesn’t even mean anything.
It smells like you’re kissing her ass so you can get into her pants. Be different. Stay away from compliments. Compliment yourself.
When you get her into bed THEN compliment her. Tell her how beautiful her pussy is. Or how great she tastes. When you’re fucking her it’s a good thing to tell her how hot she looks. That’s the best time to compliment her.
If you MUST compliment her before you’ve gotten her into bed–here’s a few tips.
TIP #1. Make sure she’s earned it. First, qualify her. “What’ve you got going for you besides your looks?” If you genuinely like what you hear, THEN you can compliment her. “Damn, you seem cool. I wanna get to know you better.” She’s earned the compliment. It’s not even a compliment. It’s a statement of truth.
TIP #2. Make the compliment insightful. “Nice earrings” is lame. “I like the way the blue in the earrings matches your eyes. It looks like a Native American style.” Better. There’s details and specifics. If it’s insightful, it’s more honest.
TIP #3. Add something negative to the compliment. “You’re special… in that short bus to school sort of way.” “You’re everything I never wanted.” “You’re the most awesomest girl I’ve met… in the last 30 seconds.” “Check this girl out. She’s amazing and so bright and funny. Would you believe she’s never had a date?”
Actually this isn’t a compliment. It’s a diss. You pretend you give her a compliment, then take it away at the last moment. But it’s fuuuuun! Haha
Anyway, show appreciation to your woman only if it’s SINCERE–not to “get” her approval–but like you’re stating a truth, making an observation. And of course compliment her during sex, and during a relationship. But when you FIRST meet her, as a rule of thumb, don’t compliment her. It can smell of an ulterior motive. Compliment yourself.
This is terrible advice.
On the one hand, yes, the wrong type of compliment may appear disingenuous and awkward but adding an insult or complimenting yourself comes off as rude, egotistical, and inauthentic.
Be honest. If you like a girl, say so. Accept the fact that approaching a stranger in a bar tends to yield poor results anyway.
If you want to meet a woman, forget meeting a woman and work on yourself. Take a class in something you find interesting like photography or rock climbing. Go out with your friends. Make new friends. Hang out with your coworkers. If you do a little soul searching and get off the internet and into the real world – without actually looking for a partner – you’ll naturally find someone. It won’t be in a bar. It won’t be a desperate attempt before last call but through actively engaging in a mutual interest, getting to know them in a natural environment, and letting nature take its course.
If you’re really shy (and I suffer from crippling shyness) why not visit a foreign country. It’s easier fumbling in a new language and fumbling in your own. You’ll meet other expats, who often live in really close-knit communities. You can shed your past for a little while. Start fresh.
I dunno.. these sites suck.
You’ve made some really good comments, and I agree with a lot of them. Honesty is always the best way to go. Meeting women by taking a class or doing something you’re interested in is primo. Great point.
By the way, I’m not advocating meeting your future wife at a bar. Bars are more like practice grounds. Like playing one-on-one basketball before a big game. It’s a place where you sharpen your edge a little bit. The stuff I’ve learned from practicing in bars has helped my public speaking, my body language, my fashion, my banter, my confidence, and a host of other positive things. But a place to find your future wife? I agree. It’s not there.
So, here’s my question to you. How were you able to misunderstand everything I said in this post… so completely? Were you just blinded by the fact that I said “compliment yourself”?
Maybe if you see the idea written down, it looks weird, so it doesn’t translate very well. I’m not sure.
But I thought I talked about giving compliments that are honest, and in a way that doesn’t have an ulterior motive. I thought I gave specific ways to do this. I thought I explained how a woman who’s been hit on a million times with the same lines over and over: “you’re so beautiful” or “can I buy you a drink” or “So where are you from?” makes the average compliment blend in with the blur. I thought I said to stand out from the blur it helps to be different. You know, playful. Making her laugh. In a word, banter. But maybe I wasn’t clear enough.
Banter is not such a strange concept. If you’ve ever watched David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, you’ll see they banter all the time. The objective is never to hurt. But to give a little joy with a little spice. It’s just being playful.
I compliment myself all the time. I’ll say to a girl: “Hey, I like your glasses, they’re almost as cool as mine.” Guess what the response is? She LAUGHS! Amazing. Then she banters right back. And we’re having a great time. There’s electricity. It’s called being friendly in a way that makes you stand out.
Practicing this? Goes a looooong way in helping a guy get more confident with women. I know it did for me.
So banter is NOT meant to hurt. Yet I couldn’t help but notice at the end of your comment you said “these sites suck.” Did you end with an insult? Something that could hurt?
Haha.. throwing subtle insults at a woman so she doesnt feel like your ulterior motive is getting her into bed! Is this not the same site which says 25 steps from approach to sex” or somesomething like that?! So the ulterior motive is sex after all… which means you with all your expertide are teaching men to lie, deceive and hide your true intentions by taking advantage of the fact that women are impressed with words…. how stupid and cruel is that at the same time! But I wouldnt say sites like these are the real problems bcoz many men already know and practice all this…. this is nothing new to them… they have been hardwired to prey on women.. play with womens minds by throwing a certain collection of words at them to get them into bed… you are probably only helping out those men who are not as good in these things as other men are!
I wish I could say this to all men: women are not all bad and out there to rob you of your money and independence..dont get back at your ex gf or mother or sister by having sex with as many women as u can! Thats certainly not the right way and indicates a serious underlying problem with your personality… sure there is nothing wrong with being playful with a girl and throwing “banters” at her… everyone needs a laugh once in a while and does not want to be showered with compliments all the time… but pls dont do it ad a game… dont do it as a means to get her into bed and then forget her like nothing happened… women are somewhat emotional, vulnerable and even foolish when it comes to men.. but hey! Thats what makes us women… u wouldnt like us if we werent like that… this doesnt mean you hate them or view them only as a conquest or something to sleep with ! They are as much human as you men… more vulnerable and emotional… take care off them.. the least you could do is respect them… ! You dont need to get into every hot girls pants… that doesnt make you more of a man!
No ulterior motive here. The only motive here is to create sexual tension. Not to lie or deceive or take advantage or trick or anything unethical like that.
If you ever watch romantic comedies, you’ll often see that the boy and girl don’t get along at first. They play-fight with each other, and it sparks “chemistry.” That’s all banter is meant to do.
And the beautiful thing about banter is the guy and girl get to do this TOGETHER. They get to be like two four-year-olds playing in a sandbox, not worrying about impressing anyone… just being in the “zone” together. Banter is playing together.
Now, if the guy and girl feel attraction towards each other afterwards, doesn’t that mean they BOTH mutually want sex? That the girl wants sex just as much as the guy? Banter is about how a guy can make himself more attractive to the opposite sex. That’s it.
Before I learned this stuff, I felt like girls would never like me. Learning this stuff gave me confidence in myself and with girls. This stuff is about a guy bettering himself, and gaining confidence.
You women inspire us. By trying to attract you, it inspires us to become better men. So, yes we’re learning how to attract you. But learning to attract women is the means. The ultimate goal is to become a more excellent man.
And last time I checked, women put a lot of effort into becoming more attractive, too. They spend lots of money getting their hair done, on makeup, getting nice clothes. What’s wrong with us guys putting effort into making ourselves more attractive too?
We might not be buying makeup, but we’re learning how to make a girl laugh in a way that sparks sexual tension, we’re getting our life’s purpose together, we’re making changes to our lives to become more interesting guys.
I’m glad you wrote in, though. Because now I know how girls might misunderstand what we’re doing here. And I can make a better effort to be clear that though we want to become more attractive to you ladies, it’s IMPERATIVE we never hurt or take advantage. Sexual ethics is huge.
And yes, I did write an article called “25 Steps From Meet to Sex.” It’s like an article on how a guy can take the lead on the dance floor. Seduction is a dance, but ultimately sex must be a mutual thing. And besides, sex is the first step to a relationship.
I also liked how you pointed out the female perspective: women are more emotional and vulnerable and to heed that. Thanks for those important points.
This site is killer.
I did this today, and it worked like a charm. I saw this girl wearing a giant fake fur coat. I walked up and said, “So you decided to dress like a lion today. Seems appropriate.” She laughed so loud the entire coffee shop looked at us. I asked what people normally say to her when she is wearing that coat. She said, “they normally just say, you look pretty.”
Case and point.
HUGE thumb ups! Exactly what I was talking about. And awesome for going out there and doing it. Thank-you.
Thanks ffor the post
My pleasure Sidney! Thanks so much for the comment. I appreciate it big time.