I found this comment… by a woman who goes by “Bossymoksie“… on a March 7, 2013 post from SocialKenny’s Blog.
It’s about what a woman is thinking when you approach her. She’s thinking:
“Who is this guy? What does he want? And how long am I stuck with him for?” -lol, that’s exactly what we think. May I add the question “What is he going to offer me?” I know not all woman may think this right away, but I do think this is why you have to demonstrate high social value, so she thinks you are a valuable person in the world.
Nice. I learned a lot from that comment, so I wanted to share it with you, too.
Let’s break it down real quickly.
When we first approach a woman, we’ve gotta answer these questions:
- Who is this guy?
- What does he want?
- How long am I stuck with him for?
- What is he going to offer me?
or else she’s not going to hear a word of what we’re saying.
Luckily, those legendary pickup artists, Style and Mystery, discovered the tools that answer these questions right off the bat. That’s probably why they were such approach masters.
Here are the techniques they invented:
- The “root” (reason for why you’re talking with her) answers… “What does he want?”
- The “false time constraint” (I’m on my way out/I’m not going to be here forever) answers… “How long am I stuck with him for?”
- DHV (self-disclosure) answers… “Who is this guy” and “What is he going to offer me?”
I also loved what she said about “what is he going to offer me?”
Obviously, we know what’s in it for us if we get with this hot chick.
Well, what’s in it for her if she gets with us? That’s why we’ve gotta give her value IMMEDIATELY.
Enter the DHV.
The DHV is all about HER self-interest.
It’s NOT about you or showing off how great you are. It’s about putting an eager want inside of her… for you.
It’s like if you were to go fishing, putting a worm at the end of a hook instead of a slice of pizza. You might like pizza, but fish like worms. So, you bait the fish with worms (its self-interest) not pizza (your self-interest).
Likewise, there are certain things that attract women that don’t necessarily attract us guys. Understanding what those are and giving them to her IMMEDIATELY ignites an eager want in her. That’s what DHV is all about.
(If you’re curious what those things are that attract women more than us guys, check out my article “5 Attraction Switches” , if you’d like. It’s SUPER helpful to know about them.)
Here’s another reason DHV answers her question “what’s he going to offer me”:
It gives her something of USE. You give her a little gift right off the bat.
For example, if you share a personality test with her, she gets to learn something cool about herself. She’s smiling. Who IS this guy, she might be saying to herself. Thumbs up.
Or, if you share a funny story with her, she gets to laugh and “feel good.” Can you say “Hell, yeah”?
By the way, speaking of “feeling good,” I’ve found an even MORE effective way of answering all these questions right off the bat than the three techniques I just listed above.
And that’s banter.
If you play fight with her… starting with THE SECOND SENTENCE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH (“The Second Sentence Rule”)… in a way where you’re dominant and she’s cute… not only does it make her laugh, but it creates sexual tension.
And we all know what women say about laughter. How much they hate it and they never look for it in a guy.
Um, yeah right.
My article “Flirting” goes into how exactly to banter in a lot of detail. Again, check it out if you’d like.
Banter is THE key to creating attraction right off the bat. Hands down. Not to sound overly dramatic or anything, but learning that skill changed my life. And I’m not even kidding.
Anyway, keep in mind those questions that Bossymoksie shared with us when guys approach her! Invaluable, invaluable, invaluable. Answer those questions and… hello awesome approach, nice to know you (read: put her at ease). Things from there are cake.
Thanks Bossymoksie for sharing that little pice of gold with us.