Tag Archives: inviting her up

The Secret To Inviting Her Back To Your Place

Kevin James inviting Amber Valletta over in “Hitch.” http://onthesetofnewyork.com/hitch

Have you ever wondered how to invite a woman back to your place… in a way that she’ll WANT to say yes? I know, I have.

Well, here’s the secret.

Before you invite her to your place, take her to another venue… bar, pizza joint, whatever. Once you walk into another place TOGETHER, you’re no longer strangers. You’re like a couple.

By the way, if she’s with a group of friends, it’s okay to have them come along, too. Being part of her group and winning over her friends is a good thing.

Anyway, once she’s out with you at another venue… something weird happens. Like I said, there’s a feeling like you’re on the same team, like you’ve known each other for a while.

Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaughey play foosball in “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/

If you take her to one or two more new venues in one night, it’s like you’ve been on three dates with her. There’s a feeling of “us.” Then when the venues are closing for the night, it’s natural to invite her to your place.

When she’s in bed with you wondering “Do I really know this guy?” and thinks about the four hours she’s spent with you, she remembers being in all those different places with you, and all those memories she’s had with you. It will feel like she’s known you for awhile. She’ll feel a lot more comfortable.

Now, contrast this to if you had spent four hours with her in one place. Same amount of time, but because it’s the SAME place where you were strangers in, you’ll still feel like a stranger to her.

So, next time you go out, “bounce” her as Mystery would say. Then you can invite her back to your place.

You can say something like “You should come over because I want to show you that (fill in the blank: ex. movie, fish tank, hot tub) we were talking about.”

It’s weird, but using the word “because” after a request makes it more attractive for a person to say yes. For example, if a person were to ask you, “can I cut you in line because I’m late for work,” you’d probably be more okay with it than if he asked “can I cut you?” for no reason at all.

And fill in the blank with something unrelated to sex. Don’t let her take responsibility for sex. If she has to, she might appear like a “slut,” so chances are higher that she’ll resist. Take the lead. Make coming over to your place non-sexual. She knows what’s going on, but you’ve made it plausible for her to deny that she came over for sex. And she can tell her friends the next day “it just happened.” Nice.

The point is, before you invite her to your place, invite her to other places with you. Get that yes-ladder momentum going. Let her get to know you and feel “together” with you. Then when it comes time to invite her over, it’s a natural.

Spend time with her in different places before you invite her up.