If you saw a woman like this, would you know what to do? How in God’s name would you EVER be able to attract her, let alone talk with her?
Here’s the secret.
I learned it from a guy named Rion Williams.
Her beauty is bullshit. That’s it. Simple, right?
These are his exact words:
If you cut through the B.S. exterior of a pretty woman’s faux social persona, she’s just an average girl…
You could say it another way…
There’s inherently nothing different between an average looking girl and a really beautiful one. Deep down they are still a woman and need loving.
~Rion Williams, p.227 “Men’s Guide to Women”
Okay, so what does that mean exactly?
A woman’s beauty is a social construction. We’re taught we’re supposed to put a beautiful woman on a pedestal JUST BECAUSE SHE’S BEAUTIFUL. Just because nature dealt her a decent pair of cards, we have to treat her like she’s some superior being? How ridiculous is that?
Looking beyond her appearance is a HUGE piece in success with women. They’re human beings.
I know it sounds like a cliche that there’s more to a woman than her physical beauty. But it’s true. Her real sexuality isn’t in her makeup or her skimpy swimsuits or the photography tricks.
Her real sexuality comes when she’s in the presence of a man who’s stronger than her feminine beauty. A man who doesn’t need to “possess” her or “get into her pants.” A man who serves a deeper purpose than getting sex or getting women.
So she’s beautiful. Cool. Whatever. Who is she? Is there more to her than her looks? Does she have a positive outlook? Is she curious about things? What kind of person is she? Who is she underneath?
Much like enjoying a beautiful sunset without needing to possess it.
Look past the shining radiance of her beauty. See her as if she were seven years old, before sex complicated everything. When you really get down to it, we all humans want the same thing. We want love. We want to love and be loved in return. Plato taught me that one. Symposium. Socrates’ speech. Check it out. Awesome dialogue.
So, when you talk to her like a HUMAN BEING nothing might happen between the two of you. That’s cool too. You’ll find yourself getting to know a lot more people in the process, and appreciating the fantastic diversity of humankind. And that ain’t such a bad thing.
I do love this post so very much. The same also applies to exceptionally beautiful men. I had a sort of friend years ago that could have ANY girl he wanted. Or so he thought. He was GQ gorgeous. Ooooooh but that didn’t fool me. I watched him. I studied his actions. He was arrogant, conceited and a dumbass. He tried to kiss me at a party one night and I continuously had to push him away. He just could not wrap his head around the concept that I DID NOT WANT TO KISS HIM. The look of shock on his face after multiple attempts was classic.
If I may challenge you a bit here…. I feel that perhaps this post contradicts in a subtle way. As much as I love your blog and all the pictures ( i too can appreciate the female form) , you really only have ONE type of woman on this blog. The perfect type. The model type. The flawless type. My dear Renaissan Man, more than 60% of the women on this planet do not look like this.
My question is…and I ask this in the nicest way possible….Where is your appreciation for other body types? Does this blog suggest that this is the only kind of woman you are attracted to? Or wish to attract?
On the flip side of this coin… Let’s say you were to meet an “Average Plain Jane” with a few extra pounds. Would you attempt to pursue her at all? To get to know her heart, her desires, her sexuality? What if she was your perfect companion and you made no move at all to find out? And what if….just what if….she could possibly be the best sex of your life?
Such a great point. If beauty really is “bullshit” like I’m saying here, then why do I make such a big deal about putting pictures of physically beautiful women on this blog? Excellent point.
The reason is, even though physical beauty is not everything, a lot of us guys still get tripped up by it. When we’re not intimidated by a woman’s beauty, we act completely natural. All of a sudden when she puts on makeup, gets her hair done nice and all that, we start acting stilted. So, what I was trying to say here is if we guys can see past her beauty to her humanness… we can relate to her like a human being rather than some object on a pedestal.
Now, even though I say all that, I admit a physically beautiful woman still attracts me. I enjoy it. It’s invigorating. However, in real life, if I met a beautiful woman but there was nothing beyond her shell, the attraction would be short-lived. And if I were to meet a woman who was a “plain Jane” on the outside but learned there was this incredible woman beneath, my attraction would of course increase. It’s like Cleopatra. Apparently, she wasn’t the most beautiful woman in the world, but she still had the likes of Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony fall madly in love with her. There was something about her, beyond her looks, that was alluring.
At the same time, bodily attraction is still important. A woman who takes care of herself is sexy. And it gets a guy’s attention, draws him in. Why? It exudes femininity and sparks sexual electricity with us. Without that bodily attraction, there’s no impetus to pursue her, and she’ll just be a friend. At the same time, if she’s physically perfect but her beauty doesn’t come from the heart… it’s all just a flash. I would prefer a plain Jane who was a great companion, with a wonderful heart, and a delicious sexuality over a cold, heartless, miserable “10” any day.
I tend to think that all women have their own essence of beauty. After all, beauty is in the eye of the person who is beholding their beauty.
As CAWhite said, in paraphrase – What about other females? And I to appreciate the forms of female beauty in all of its forms.
It’s plain that a woman cannot remain all dolled up every minute of every day, although we idealize that – its impossible. We have to take our make up off at some point and just unwind. Get into our jammies and do the laundry, take care of our real live and routine things around the house, unclog toilets and drains. It’s likely not very attractive, but someone HAS to do it. Or pay someone to do it.
Women can’t maintain this “ethereal” standard of beauty all of the time.
Most of us aren’t born with it, some of us buy it and the others like myself work with what nature provided.
I gather that we’re all trapped by our humanity to enjoy what we consider physical beauty, but that too differs from person to person – and yet even that is in a way generalized to become a carbon copy for us all to idolize, if even we cannot achieve or attain it.
Agreed. In fact, that was the point of this post. To not idealize a “beautiful” woman just because she has great makeup on.
I think that’s where a lot of us guys get tripped up. We get bamboozled by an exterior appearance that’s just a cultural construction.
My point was guys can succeed more with women when they begin to look past the exterior and connect with the human person beneath.