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BARS AND CLUBS: The Key to Picking Up Hot Chicks is Not Picking Them Up

Bars and clubs… where the hottest chicks go. How do you approach them in this most intimidating environment? Answer: Don’t approach ONLY hot chicks.

Let me ask you something. What’s the “3-second rule”?

Easy, right? When you see a hot girl, approach her within 3 seconds.

That’s true, and accurate.

But there’s a deeper meaning. Approach THE FIRST SET (group of people) YOU SEE within 3 seconds, regardless if there’s hot chicks in it or not.

Here’s a story from my own experience that demonstrates this.

Back when I first started learning pickup, one night I went to a loud dance club to practice.

Oh, and by the way, don’t do what I did and practice at night clubs. Practice in lounges and bars where you can actually hear yourself speak. Club game takes a whole different set of skills.

Anyway, big surprise, I wasn’t getting any interest from chicks. One girl outright said, “I’m not interested.”

I was so discouraged. I couldn’t figure out what I did. The entire following week I wracked my brain trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. It wasn’t until I sought out info from wiser guys than me that I finally figured out what happened.

I was only approaching good-looking women.

I didn’t talk to the bouncer, the bartender, any of the guys or unattractive women. As a result, I was probably coming across as on the prowl.

Worse, by the time I approached a hot chick, I was in such a “watching” mind-set (not a “talkative” one) that the approach felt forced. She probably felt a distinct “this guy is hitting on me” feeling.

No wonder I was striking out.

So, the next night I went out to a bar (that had a club attached) and I did the opposite.

To the bartender I said, “Hey, how’s your night going?”

To the bouncer I made sure to give a solid “What’s going on? Have a great night.”

I spoke to guys—who I found to be really cool and a lot easier to start a conversation with than women for some reason.

I spoke to unattractive girls.

EVERYONE.

When I went into the dance club, I didn’t stand on the sidelines to watch. I got on the dance floor and danced. Side note: I found you don’t have to be John Travolta on the dance floor. All you gotta do is move to the rhythm, and smile. And don’t grind on the girls.

When I returned to the bar I felt this incredible surge of confidence. I felt like I owned the place.

Opening hot chicks was now natural and easy. They were just another group of people in the club—no one special. And amazingly they opened up like flowers in sunshine. haha

This taught me, hands down, that the approach begins BEFORE you approach. It begins with how you feel, with your mind-state.

If your mind-state is anxious, people will feel this and be resistant.  If your mind-state is joyful, people will feel this and want to talk with you. How you feel inside ain’t separate from the approach. It’s the secret to it.

That night I number-closed two gorgeous women. One of them asked for my number because she wanted to demonstrate her blow-job skills on me. Um, let me think about that…okay.

The key to picking up chicks isn’t talking only to the hot chicks but talking to EVERYONE. Everyone.  Don’t discriminate. See a group, 3-seconds later you’re talking to them. Doesn’t have to be a long-ass conversation, a “hey, how’s your night going” does wonders.

This can even be practiced outside the club in everyday life, smiling at people, saying hi, making the cashier smile, or whatever.

Anyway, in a bar, I found people actually want to talk with you. It’s a social environment for God’s sakes! But a lot of time people are shy to break the “stranger” barrier, so they’re psyched when you have the balls to do it.

BONUS: when women see all this, they feel a lot safer when you approach them. They see you’re not after them, on the prowl. They see you’re just friendly, people like you, and that you can even get along with other guys. That’s attractive to women. Women are social value seekers, so when you talk to everyone it shows you have social value to offer them.

ANOTHER BONUS: You get in a talkative mood, and you feel like you can talk to anyone.

And check this out. When you do approach the hot chicks it doesn’t have to be fancy. You can say a quick little thing, make them laugh, and walk away. When you see them again, they feel like you’re not a stranger anymore and they’ll open right up.  You’re not a predator trying to get something from them. You’re just outgoing and fun.

Aaaaaand, you’ll look COMPLETELY different from every other guy in there, who’s just standing there gawking at the women.

But let me clarify this super-important point. You’re friendly not just in order to impress chicks and pick them up, but because it’s a blast to meet new, cool people and build a social network. It just so happens that in the process, you’ve also created attraction in women, even before you approached.

The gorgeous Olivia Palermo

 

13 responses to “BARS AND CLUBS: The Key to Picking Up Hot Chicks is Not Picking Them Up

  1. alex

    December 9, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    you, my friend, are god…

    Like

     
    • renaissan

      December 10, 2013 at 2:10 am

      I’m glad someone finally noticed! Haha. Thanks for the shout-out man. Mucho appreciation.

      Like

       
  2. Henry

    February 5, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    This is… Brilliant. And it makes so much sense haha

    Like

     
    • renaissan

      February 6, 2014 at 2:45 am

      Tell me about it. It was a lesson that was hard earned. But man was is a game changer.

      Like

       
  3. Cosme Castro

    May 1, 2014 at 9:25 am

    Thanks for the advice the stuff you said are so true I needed a reminder I was married for 13 years & lost my touch the advice is helpful now time to put it to the test

    Like

     
    • renaissan

      May 6, 2014 at 7:11 pm

      Yes! Time to put it to the test. That’s where the real fun happens. I’m sorry to hear about the marriage. I find I always grow the most after a relationship ends. If you have ANY questions, don’t hesitate to holler. Welcome back to the field!

      Like

       
  4. Matt

    July 11, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    That’s some good advice. I just got out of a 4 year relationship so I’m expecting to be rusty and shy, at least to start. Any tips on good ice breakers to people in general, and to the women? Is it boring to be repetitive going from group to group saying the same thing (seems to be in my mind even if you aren’t speaking to the same group and if they can/can’t hear you)?

    Like

     
    • renaissan

      July 15, 2014 at 11:05 am

      As for your second question (is it boring to say the same thing group to group): you’d think so. But no, it’s not. How many of us say “hey, how’s it going?” to person to person to person. No one thinks twice about that, right?

      I’ll take it a step further. I was listening to this interview with Brad P once, and he said saying the same thing group to group can be an exercise in “social freedom.” You don’t care what people think of you. You’re using your icebreaker to break the ice, and meet people.

      He also said when he was first learning pickup, he’d say the same line over and over: “Hey, do you know anyplace where you can get some cotton candy at this time of the night?” It wasn’t the words that was important. It was the fact he was approaching with an icebreaker that worked.

      When he graduated from the “Cotton Candy” opener and developed his legendary “Horse Girl” opener, he taught it to a friend of his who was a natural with women. Brad P tells this story about how he watched his friend open every set in the bar with that same opener. Some bombed. His friend didn’t care. He’d just go to the next set. Soon the whole room was laughing, and was warm to him. In his friend’s mind, he loved the opener so much, he just wanted to spread the fun.

      So, it doesn’t matter if you say the same thing to lots of groups. I have. In my experience, the only person who knows you’re using the same icebreaker is you. If a group does say: “Didn’t you say that to the other group?” I’ll just say “it’s an icebreaker and a way to meet new people.” Which it is.

      As for your first question (what are some good ice breakers): A simple “How’s your night going” works WONDERS. You can deliver that line to bartenders, bouncers, guys, unattractive girls, attractive girls. It opens sets right up. It’s just a standard outgoing thing to say.

      Now, if you want to graduate to the next level… Let’s say you see a group of attractive girls you want to talk with, a simple “You guys looked cool, so I wanted to come over and say hi” works too. After you’ve exchanged names, or whatever, you can eject by saying “pleasure meeting you.”

      I’ve also opened with this to great success: “I have this rule that whenever I see someone attractive I have to say hi.” That line is based on the three second rule, and works great. It has the added benefit of being honest about why you’re approaching.

      Finally, if you want to graduate to the level after that, add in a banter-line after one of those icebreakers. One of my favs: “Quit looking at my chest, my eyes are up here!”

      I’d say that right after one of those icebreakers above, and it always got girls laughing. Then I’d introduce myself, open up a conversation topic like “Style’s E.V.,” and qualify my target after that. After she responds to my qualifier, I’d tell her “you’re cool, I want to get to know you better.” Which would set me up for a number exchange or mini-date right there and then.

      Brad P’s “Horse Girl” or “Last Night’s Lay” are other KILLER ways to break the ice with banter. They’re edgy though. Not every girl has a sense of humor. But those who do, love it.

      If you don’t know what “Style’s EV,” or Brad P’s “Horse Girl” are, and want some more ideas for banter lines and even qualifiers, check out my Routines Collections over here: https://whetyourwoman.com/how-to-practice-pickup/my-routines-collection/.

      But start off with a simple “how’s your night going” and gain your confidence first. You’ll see how simple it is, and how willing people are to meet new people. Everyone is out in a social gathering after all to meet new people.

      I hope this helps. Please feel free to ask any other questions.

      Like

       
  5. Neel

    July 16, 2014 at 11:11 am

    Thanks a ton dude. Last week, I was on the prowl & got no score. Felt like a dog & loose all confidence. Your techniques instilled another adrenaline all over my body. I got I am going to try this. Thanks again for such a wonderful article

    Like

     
    • renaissan

      July 18, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      My pleasure! It’s so simple to do too, and works like gangbusters. Let me know how it goes and if you have any question. Much appreciation on the comment.

      Like

       
  6. Justin

    April 21, 2016 at 2:20 am

    Hi I know this my be late but I gotta admit. I got respect for you. I mean it’s obvious that you really know what you are doing and that you are really good at it. my only question is what advise would you give to someone with quite a strong accent. people understand me most time when i talk but when it comes to approaching girls i feel like my accent will screw everything up and it actually does.

    Like

     
    • renaissan

      April 22, 2016 at 2:12 am

      Thank-you for your comment. You totally made my day.

      Let me ask you: which country are you from? And what kind of environment are you approaching (i.e. nighttime–bars, lounges or daytime–locations like coffeeshops, street, or perhaps both)? Also, I’m assuming you’re doing your approaches in the U.S.?

      Thanks again for your kind words.

      Like

       
  7. Justin

    April 22, 2016 at 9:23 am

    I am from Congo, center africa. and yeah i am doing my approaches her in the u.s. At first i was mostly trying daytime environment. but now I am more into nighttime. I gotta admit that nightclub are a lil easier for me than bar and lounges.

    Like

     

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