Just before you have sex with a girl for the first time, sometimes you’ll encounter what Mystery calls “Last Minute Resistance.” Also known as “LMR” in the pickup community.
There’s a way to pre-empt this so it won’t even come up.
And if it does come up, there’s a smart way to handle it so a girl feels comfortable enough having sex.
The difference between knowing what to do in this situation and what not to do is the difference between a boy who whines and panics, and a man who maintains a strong lead.
Before I get into the how-to, let’s try to see where a girl is coming from when this happens.
There are nine total phases in a pickup sequence: open (A1), attraction (A2), and qualification (A3) in the ATTRACT PHASE; comfort in the pickup location (C1), comfort in neither the pickup location nor the seduction location (C2), and comfort in the seduction location (C3) in the COMFORT PHASE; foreplay (S1), last minute resistance (S2), and sex (S3) in the SEDUCTION PHASE.
The objective of S2 or “Last Minute Resistance” is to ease a girl’s hard-wired reaction to first time sex. So, let’s try to see where she’s coming from when this happens.
Mystery has a great way of breaking all this down. I’ve heard him say her Last Minute Resistance is similar to our First Minute Resistance. They feel a similar anxiety just before sex that we feel just before we approach a girl. There’s a reason Mystery made this connection.
Women have said what they feel just before they have sex for the first time is it’s like having $10,000 on red and the ball is spinning. “C’mon red, c’mon red.”
All that she’s feeling is: “Is this man going to stick around?” It doesn’t mean she wants you to actually stick around but she wants the option to be hers. Also, some girls get this anxiety because they don’t want to be seen as a slut by you or her friends, too.
The LMR pang goes away when she knows: sex or no sex you’re gonna stick around. And she’s not a slut for having sex. In fact, take full responsibility for making the sex happen. That way she can tell her friends “it just happened, it wasn’t my fault.”
So, here’s what to do.
Start your LMR campaign… knowing that you’ll be there later… 10 MINUTES INTO THE SET. For example, let’s say you’re sitting down with her in the pickup location building comfort for the first time, and she goes to the bathroom. When she comes back say something like this:
“Not to give you a big head or anything but when you left all I wanted was for you to hurry up and get your ass back here. ‘Cause there was no one else I wanted to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, you could lose me in a heart beat, but that was a feeling I wanted to share with you.”
This pre-empts LMR. So, when she’s in bed with you later and has that pang “is he gonna stick around?” she thinks back and remembers what you said.
In other words, to pre-empt LMR, let her know I’m not just going to have sex with you and forget about you. I’m gonna stick around. And it’s not my choice. My HEART is telling me to stick around. I’m thinking about you, I WANT to call you. It’s not some rational duty. You’ve hijacked my emotional heart.
She needs to know all that. She needs to know you like her for legitimate reasons, as a human being, and you’re not going to just use her.
If she knows that, her LMR circuit won’t even fire.
If her LMR still fires, here’s what you do.
Agree with her and stop. Put absolutely NO pressure on her to have sex.
Here’s what some other guys might do.
HER: “We should stop.”
GUY: “But baby what’s wrong…” And then LOGIC her to death.
Instead, say this: “I know. We should stop. We shouldn’t be doing this. And we certainly shouldn’t be doing this!” Then playfully nibble her ear or something. Make her laugh and turn her on at the same time. Haha. Love it.
I mean, she’s in bed with you. It’s just token resistance at this point. She just wants you to know she doesn’t normally do this. That’s all.
So, here’s what to remember.
1. Let her know during the comfort phase that you won’t leave her.
2. Let her know during the comfort phase that the word “slut” is bullshit and you respect spontaneous, adventurous women.
3. If you still get LMR during the seduction phase, agree, stop, and try again later.
4. One last point. If you give her lots of arousal during foreplay, believe me, she’ll want sex.
And that’s it.
Just remember, women LOVE sex. They WANT to get fucked. She might struggle with a little anxiety beforehand, but she wants it. It’s your job to make her FEEL… let me emphasize that word, FEEL, not intellectually debate, manipulate or force, FEEL… comfortable getting what she really, really wants anyway.
This is one of my favorite discoveries by Mystery.
He discovered there are 5 attraction switches in the female mind. And he discovered that any man who systematically triggers these switches over and over again will get some serious indicators of interest from a woman.
If you’re anything like me, I always used to think looks and being nice was what attracted women. Because looks attract me, and who wants someone who’s mean? I’m not a tall guy, and I found even if I was the nicest guy in the world to a woman, it didn’t attract her.
So, I kinda resigned myself to the fact that I’d never be attractive to women. I mean if you listen to women, one of the things they always say they want in a man is height. And although they say they like a nice guy, they always seemed to end up with the “bad boys.”
Happily I found out from my pickup journey that it’s not about looks or being a “bad boy” that attract women. It’s PERSONALITY. More specifically, a MASCULINE personality.
Height and the “bad boy” thing are just surface symptoms of something deeper that’s going on.
It’s not those things per se that attracts women. It’s the feeling she gets from the height difference, and the feeling she gets with a bad boy. Namely, she’s a woman, and he’s the man.
Well, there are other ways to create that feeling inside a woman without having to be tall or without having to be a bad boy or without being rich.
Enter the 5 attraction switches.
They’re 5 aspects of a masculine personality that make a woman feel like she’s with a man. Even if you’re not tall or the best looking guy or superrich or whatever, if you’ve got these 5 traits, you’ll turn her on… and on a PRIMAL level. They can’t help but feel attraction.
Before I get into the 5 switches, I wanna bring home an important point about all this.
Okay, so after you open a set, the objective is to systematically trigger these attraction switches. This is done through DHVs or “Demonstrations of Higher Value.” Cool.
But the point I wanna make is DHVs aren’t so much “demonstrations.” They’re “embodiments” of these 5 switches. Don’t stop triggering these switches in the attract phase. It continues in comfort, in seduction, and after you have sex with her… forever.
In other words, don’t just demonstrate these traits. BE these traits. Don’t just try to get a beautiful woman. BE a man of higher value that NATURALLY attracts the most beautiful women in your life.
Make sense?
So much about the “demonstration” part of DHV. Let’s real quickly look at the “value” part.
Value doesn’t refer to some esoteric, abstract thing. It’s very specific. It’s survivor value that a woman can USE.
Let me back up.
In evolutionary theory, there’s this idea that we humans want to survive, but also we want to replicate our genes to keep our species alive. At base we humans want two basic things: to survive and to replicate.
Men seem to be attracted to replication value, such as youth, waist-to-hip ratio, and all that.
They’re signs of fertility and health.
Women seem to be attracted to survival value, such as high social status, leadership, wealth of resources. They want a man who can protect and take care of her.
So, the 5 attraction switches revolve around this one theme. Being a “survivor.” The reason this “value” is valuable is because it’s a benefit to her. You’re someone who can take care of her and protect her. There’s a primal, feminine use in it for her.
Trigger these switches and you trigger a primal urge in her to have a masculine man in her life. Her biological, physical, feminine self can’t help but WANT to “merge” and “reproduce” with this man of a man.
What I’m trying to say is, don’t make DHV about me, me, me or showing off or bragging about how awesome you are.
No.
Make the 5 triggers things to embody FOR REAL, and make DHV about how you benefit her. Don’t be a “getter,” be a “giver.” Don’t try to “get” her replication value from her for your gain. Be someone with a lot of survivor value that’d she want to get for herself. This puts the desire in her for you.
That’s what I’m talkin’ bout.
I wanted to make that point because when I first started off, I used to think DHV was about me and showing off. Just the opposite. It’s about honest-to-God becoming a better man, which benefits others.
Phew. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about these switches.
The first switch is “Preselection.”
All this means is you’re attractive to other women. She’ll instantly feel a pang of curious attraction for you if she sees this. You have value for other women, so you must have value for her. All happening on the subconscious level.
How to demonstrate this?
Have women around you is the easiest way to trigger this switch. If you don’t have girls to roll with, be talking to everyone in the bar or lounge. Meet girls there. Women see this, and they want to be where the excitement is. You can also convey preselection by mentioning your past girlfriends, or joking about how many women are clamoring for you or by sharing you have knowledge of women.
The second switch is “The Leader of Men.”
A lot of guys think it’s impossible to approach a woman with guys in the group. It’s not impossible. It can actually be to your advantage.
You can lead men by telling them stories, showing respect to them, getting along with them. If they start acting like a dick, handle them with class and respect. You’re leading them. That’s attractive.
The third switch is “Protector of Loved Ones.”
Loved ones include parents, siblings, friends, girlfriends. How much do you care for them? Has there ever been a time when they were in danger and you were there to help them or protect them?
Show her that her life would be improved if she built an alignment with you. You can convey this in small gestures like pulling out a chair for her, opening a door for her, giving her your coat if she gets cold, helping an old lady cross the street, showing kindness to the waiter, standing up for yourself or for her.
The fourth switch is “Willingness to Emote.”
When you open a set, systematically demonstrate your emotional state. For example, smile when you approach. When you speak, speak expressively and with enthusiasm. Have a demeanor like you’re celebrating like it’s the end of Ocean’s Eleven: “I need nothing from you. I’m just enjoying myself. Who are you? And that’s special because?”
Be lit up from the inside, passionate, enthusiastic. They’ll feel that. Also, playing an instrument for them, singing for them, sharing a touching story are ways to make her feel. Women are emotional.
Wonderful, positive emotions attract them like bees to honey.
The fifth switch is “Successful Risk Taker.”
You don’t have to be a millionaire to attract women. But you do want to show women you at least have direction in your life. You’re going somewhere. And you live life on the edge, challenging yourself to take the risks to get there. That’s attractive.
Sharing your goals, dreams, and passions is one way to convey this. Also, we all have success stories from our past. Sharing these stories about how you overcame odds puts you in a positive light and builds feelings of attraction in her for you.
Of the five switches, the most important to trigger IN FIELD, like in a bar or other public gathering, is “Preselection.” It’s the equivalent of a big pair of tits for us.
When you’re first starting out, get good at triggering these 5 attraction switches for at least 25 minutes. 25 minutes because that’s the time frame from opening a group to C1 or building comfort with her.
At first, incorporate these DHV “spikes” or triggers into the stories you tell and in your behavior. But if you’re going to tell stories, tell them to the group, not to your target. That way it shows you’re not after her. At first, if you do say anything to her, neg her or banter with her. This creates sexual tension.
When you’re in comfort with her, obviously continue to incorporate these traits into your stories and behavior. It doesn’t ever stop. One difference between the attract and comfort phase is let HER talk. Entice her to DHV to you, and listen to what she has to say. Connect. But still sprinkle in some banter and be a bit of a challenge. She doesn’t “have” you yet.
Get good at a 25 minute act where the character you play is the best version of you. Soon this will be how you walk through the world. And every woman WILL want you. This isn’t some pretend thing. This isn’t something you do in a bar just to attract women.
Like I said at the beginning of all this, this is about becoming these traits so they naturally come across without you even having to think about it. Build a life FOR REAL worthy to bring beautiful women into.
Here’s what you can do RIGHT NOW.
Step One: Answer this super-important question. What’s your passion in life? What lights you up inside? What’s something that you could do for hours? What’s your deepest gift? What were you put in this world for? Okay, that was five. I know. But they’re different ways of asking the same question. The answer might not come to you right away. But dwell on the question of your purpose. The answer will eventually come.
Step Two: When your answer comes, which usually comes in the form of a feeling, listen to it. And start doing it RIGHT AWAY. Every day spend at least an hour to make your purpose a reality. Make this hour a priority each day.
Step Three: Next time you’re in set, share your passion with everyone. And ask them what their passion is. THAT is a DHV… as well as a qualifier.
Other things you can do right now:
1. Before you open a set, talk to EVERYONE. Say “how’s your night going” to the bouncer, the bartender, and to the first people you see. This is the practice of “Preselection” and “Leader of Men.”
2. Smile on your approach. In fact, practice smiling to at least three strangers a day. This is the practice of “Willingness to emote.” If you want to take this step further, learn a musical instrument. And select one DHV story, feel the emotion in the story, and practice telling it with expression.
3. Mention a girlfriend or ex-girlfriend or a banter about having lots of girlfriends at least once while you’re in set. This is the practice of “Preselection.”
4. Each day, do at least one good deed for a friend, family member or whoever else. Help someone with their homework, take out the trash for your mother, if you’ve got a girl in your life open the car door for her. This is the practice of “Protector of Loved Ones.”
By far the most important thing you can do RIGHT NOW is to figure out your purpose in life. So much of our masculinity is wrapped up in having direction, giving our light to the world, and taking the necessary risks to make it happen.
As always, more important than “getting” women is serving a higher purpose than yourself. Everything else will fall into place.
I’m not gonna lie. It’s hard. People are cynical of strangers striking up a friendly conversation with them. You could be the coolest guy in the world, but people (and women especially) assume the worst about you. And resist you.
You’re guilty before proven innocent.
But if you can slide this ENORMOUSLY heavy obstacle of the way… which you absolutely can… a lot of the pickup afterwards is cake.
Oh, and I wanna give credit where credit is due. Almost everything I’m about to share with you I learned from Mystery. And it’s highly effective.
Women are very rarely found alone. So, when you see a woman of particular beauty, a lot of times, we’ve got to approach her with a group of people around her. Get used to it. It’s just one of the facts of life.
I’ll tell you how NOT to approach.
“Excuse me, do you know what time it is?”
“Yeah, it’s 10:30.”
“Cool, thanks. So, where are you from?”
Now you’re trying to RE-ENGAGE her in conversation. And you’ve just revealed the fact that asking her for the time was in fact a farce. Every man should know by now that asking for the time leads to a dead end street.
“Excuse me. I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if it would be okay if I asked you a question.”
That’s the vagrance opener.
DON’T excuse yourself.
DON’T tell them you already think of yourself as a bother.
And DON’T ask in order to ask.
Just go off into it.
Instead of opening with “Excuse me” say “Hey guys…”
By the way, there’s enormous power in the word “Hey.” Start your opener with that word. It gets attention in a fun way.
Also, DON’T just talk to the prettiest woman in the group. If you speak directly to her, you’ll alienate all her friends.
Instead, make eye contact with every person in the group. That’s how you keep their attention. If you give your attention to only one person, people get bored and start looking elsewhere.
Not only that, if you give all your attention to the prettiest woman her friends presume just by the fact that she’s beautiful and you’re a man that you’re after her. Their instinct will immediately be to protect her and eject you from the group.
You’ve got to immediately disqualify yourself from being considered a potential suitor. You’ve got to convey, “Look, I’m not after her. I’m just a social, friendly guy who enjoys meeting new people.” If you’re in a public gathering like a bar or lounge, it’s expected to be social and meet new people.
How do you convey all this?
Talk to everyone in the group EXCEPT the target. In fact, ignore her. When you do say something to her throw a neg or banter line at her. “I can already tell, this one is trouble.”
Okay, fine. But WHAT do you say to the group of people?
Skip all the polite formalities and dive straight into a story. Or start bantering. I prefer to start off with banter because it’s more interactive.
But let’s say you’re gonna stick with a story, what kind of story do you tell?
A funny one is great. A classic example is Mystery’s “Girl Fight” story. You can check that one out here. Begin with a question that hooks your audience. “Did you see the girl fight outside?” Then dive right into it. Also, check in with the group during the story with questions like “Isn’t that crazy?” or “Know what I mean?” to keep it interactive and make sure they’re with you still.
Have at least three stories ready to rock and roll each 15 seconds. But don’t finish them. Leave each story open so if you ever come to an awkward pause you can say “Where was I? Oh yeah…” and continue a previously opened thread.
Onward.
DON’T speak softly, quietly, mumble, or speak in a monotone voice. No one will hear a word you’re saying. And the group will shut you out.
Instead, speak loudly and slowly. You’ll appear confident and they’ll hear everything you say. Also, speak expressively and enthusiastically. They’ll feel it. Feel whatever you’re saying and express it. THAT’S engaging.
DON’T have a stone cold expression on your face.
If you were to turn to a person who’s approached you and he has that kind of hard, mean expression on your face, how would you respond? Defensive, right?
Now imagine you’re a woman and you’re being approached by a MAN who’s bigger and stronger than you with that cold expression. That’s a woman’s experience. Scary.
So, SMILE on the approach. It’s warm. It’s a ray of sunshine. Which melts ice away.
Obviously, you don’t have to keep the stupid smile on your face. You’ll look cheesy. People will get the overwhelming feeling that you’re keeping shit from them. So, relax the smile after a few seconds.
DON’T lean in to the pretty girl. This telegraphs your interest. Plus she’ll start backing away from you. Counter-productive.
Instead, lean back. Make HER chase YOU.
In fact, when you open, open as if you’re walking past them. Let them know through your body language that you’re not going to stay there forever and ever. You’re on your way out.
DO throw in a false constraint. “I can only stay a second, my friends are here.” Word of warning. Never say “I can only stay a minute.” Guys will go “60, 59, 58…” just to screw with you.
DO have a “root,” or a reason why you’re talking to them. I got this concept from Neil Strauss and it’s huge. The group won’t be able to hear a word of what you’re saying until they know what it is you want from them. Your reason for talking to them?
If you deliver a direct opener, it’s because this girl caught your eye and you wanted to meet her.
If you deliver an indirect opener, it’s because you’re meeting new people. Or, if it’s an opinion opener, you want to get a female opinion. Then you’re leaving. But you can always say “Before I leave…” to keep yourself in there.
DO deliver a banter line within your first two sentences. MOST IMPORTANT! Laughter breaks the ice. And you don’t even need a story or a root or a false constraint. It disqualifies yourself as a potential suitor automatically yet creates sexual tension with her and gives value to the group instantly.
DO initiale kino right away. Tap an arm before you deliver a banter line. You’re a friendly person who has a lot of love to give. Strangers don’t touch. Friends do.
WHOOOOOA! That’s a lot of stuff. I know, I know. But it’s like driving a car. At first, there’s a lot of stuff to remember. But do it enough, it becomes a natural.
Here’s what you can do right now to make sure you approach in a way that melts the ice.
OPTION A, Beginning with a story/routine:
Step #1: Pick a root, a false time constraint, neg, and 3 brief (15-second) routines.
Step #2: Practice your delivery in the mirror. Make sure you smile, you’re expressive, open over the shoulder, and initiate kino. Practice interrupting your routine by opening another. I gave a word-for-word example of “multiple-threading” in my post: “DHV to the Group, NOT the Target.” Practice this at least 5x.
Step #3: Execute in field at least 5x. Each time you finish ask: “So, how do you know each other?” Then say “Pleasure meeting you.” If the conversation is going well, keep going. Don’t worry about getting a phone number, unless it genuinely comes up.
OPTION B, Beginning with Banter:
Step #1: Pick a Banter line
Step #2: Practice your delivery in the mirror. Make sure you smile, you’re expressive, open over the shoulder, and initiate kino. Practice this at least 5x.
Step #3: Execute in field at least 5x. Each time you finish, you can introduce yourself and ask: “So, how do you know each other?” Then say “Pleasure meeting you.” If the conversation is going well, keep going. No need to get a phone number, if you don’t want. You’re just practicing opening.
To simplify it even more, when you approach just give em “feeling good.” And if you practice, just that whole process, will change your life. It did for me. It will for you.
The approach and the kiss are probably the two scariest parts of the pickup, right? I mean those times are when we REALLY put ourselves out there, and when we can get rejected… bad.
And when it comes to the kiss, we don’t want to be the “bad guy” and make her feel uncomfortable. Give me a nod if you relate. So, a lot of times we just don’t do anything at all.
Of course you and I know that’s a HUGE mistake. Why?
Because if we DON’T kiss her, it’s either “What up, Friend’s Zone how’s it going?” or she’ll be like “This guy has no balls. Let me find a guy who has a pair.”
Can I tell you a story from my own life where this exact thing happened?
Back in college, before I had an ounce of a clue with women, I had one of THE most beautiful, coolest of girls in my dorm room. It went downhill from there.
We were in an upper level philosophy class together. I was a philosophy major and she was an accounting major. I was TOTALLY in love with her. Not only was this girl BEAUTIFUL with a glorious pair of tits, but she was taking an upper level philosophy class for just FUN? Holy SHIT!
The other classes I had I’d wear a sweatshirt to class. This class, I showered, shaved and made sure to wear my best shirt.
I’m not sure how I got her in my dorm room. I must have finally gotten enough courage to strike up a conversation with her by the end of the semester, found out she needed help on the final, and told her I could help. So this girl that EVERY guy on campus had a hard on for was ALONE with me in my room.
Stomach doing backflips? Check.
Now get this. When she was in my room alone with me, she plopped herself down right next to me in my love seat. There was plenty of room in that seat. But she made sure to sit RIGHT NEXT to me so her leg was touching mine. On the outside I was talking philosophy. On the inside I was like AHHHHHHHHH!
Oh, don’t worry, it gets worse.
That NIGHT… yes, she had decided to spend the night, yes she did… we were looking out my window at the stars talking. Nice and romantic. We stopped talking. Silence. What did I do? Oh, I kept talking about cheese balls or something. Mm-hmm. That was me. Fantastic.
After that night I had tried contacting her. She never returned my calls. This girl I was in LOVE with, I lost her forever. She was giving me all the signals, but I didn’t know how to kiss her.
Since then… thankfully… I learned how to go for the kiss. And the funny thing (or really sad thing if you think about it) is, it’s really, really easy. I want to share with you how right here.
She wants you to kiss her
The first lesson you can learn from my story is this. If a woman is giving you signals, GO FOR IT! Silence is what you’d call a screaming green light. She WANTS you to kiss her.
What are other good signals to look out for? If she’s been talking with you the entire time, smiling, giving you her attention. He-llo-ooo.
Another good signal? If you’re thinking “I want to kiss her,” there’s a good chance she’s thinking the same damn thing.
Kiss her!
DO NOT ask for permission to kiss her. Baaaaad. I’ve made that mistake and lost a girl doing that too. No, just lean in for the kiss.
This is EXACTLY how.
Brush a hair out of her face. Or smell her neck and tell her how great she smells. Or touch her earrings. Or touch her necklace while allowing your fingers to lightly caress her neck. Make a comment about the earrings or necklace when you touch them. Or how great she smells.
If she doesn’t flinch when you brush her hair out of the way or when you touch her necklace, that’s another LOUD green light. Kiss her for God’s sakes.
If you want to add some really good sexual tension, try the “triangular gazing” before you kiss her.
The Triangular Gaze
It’s killer because of all the anticipation.
Here’s how to do it:
Look her in one eye, then her other eye, then down to her mouth, and back up to her eyes again. Veeeeeeeery, very seductive. Slow your movements. Slow your breath. Slow the blink of your eyes. Hold the silence. Go in 90%. She’ll come the last 10%.
And if you want to make the girl feel really “swept away” place your hands under her ears and pull her mouth to yours.
A “movie” kiss
It’s a masculine, dominant move, and it probably makes her feel like she’s in a movie having one of those passionate “movie” kisses.
But WARNING! Keep the kiss light and short at first. And ALWAYS pull away first!
Here’s an example from that female favorite “Twilight.” Watch how the vampire here pulls away first. I know, I know. It’s Twilight. But there’s a reason women FLOCK to this movie. Let’s learn from it.
Obviously you don’t have to pull away as dramatically as he does, but DO pull away first. It’s called creating sexual tension. When I watched this scene with my girl she told me she loved how he told her what to do. Being dominant and creating sexual tension… Nice. Turns women on.
Oh, and one more thing. Don’t use too much tongue when you first kiss her. Just tease her. Build anticipation. As Mystery says, the kiss is comfort-building. Kiss her too long and you let out all the sexual tension. Pull away, and you build more tension and arousal in her for you.
If you’re still intimidated and feel like you need to move your mouth before you kiss her, try Style’s routine “Evolutionary Phase Shift.” You can find it here. Scroll down towards the bottom. But keep in mind, it’s just training wheels. Crutches. You don’t really need it.
All you need is to stop talking. Look into her eyes. Brush a hair out of her face if you’d like. If she’s still looking at you, go for the kiss.
It’s not hard getting a phone number. But getting a solid number that doesn’t flake? Hahaha That’s a whole other story.
The secret to getting a solid number is simple. Spend some time with her. Talk to a girl for two minutes, she might give you her phone number, sure, but the chances of it being real… or her picking up the phone the next day… is slim.
Why?
She doesn’t know who the hell you are yet.
So, talk to her for at least 25 – 40 minutes. I learned this technique from Mystery. It works.
I’m gonna go even a step further. Forget the number.
Phone game is just a pain in the damn ass. You’ve got this shoe box full of numbers, and you’ve gotta plow through ’em? Um, no thanks. Then add to that lots of times your call will go straight to her voicemail. Or if she does pick up, she’ll often be a lot more stand-offish or just plain rude. It’s miserable.
Why play phone game later, when you can take her on many “mini” dates, kiss close her, even invite her back to your place that same night? Waaaaaay easier.
But if you MUST get her number… maybe logistics aren’t in your favor that night… here’s a five step process you can follow to get a solid number close. This will increase the chances of her picking up and actually being happy to hear from you when you do call.
STEP #1: Spend AT LEAST 25-40 minutes with her BEFORE you ask for her number. This is the most important step in the process. Spend time in comfort getting to know each other.
Think of it this way. Which would be more memorable to you? A 30 second commercial that was cute and made you laugh… OR a 25 – 40 minute show that made you think or connected with you emotionally? Laughter is great, but it’s momentary. Something with substance, you remember.
STEP #2: If you’ve gotta leave, don’t just get her digits. Make plans. Just asking for her number is lame. Making plans NOW to meet up again is smart. Again, it avoids phone game later.
Tell her something like this: “This has been awesome. We should totally continue this. Let’s grab a cup of tea. When are you free?” Let her pick the date, so you’re not like “Are you free Thursday? What about Friday? What about Saturday…”
Then tell her to meet you at a specific place and a specific time. A cup of coffee or tea is totally cool.
STEP #3: Get her digits. No need for a pen and paper. Type her number into your phone. When you give her your number you can put your name as something like “Sex God” or “Man of Your Dreams” or whatever. Being cocky, playful and keeping the sexual tension up? Hell, yeah.
STEP #4: Talk for a few minutes after you exchange numbers. Don’t just get up and leave. That might give her some buyer’s remorse, like you were only after her for her number.
Wanna know a genius thing you can talk about?
Call her right there and then and pretend you’re talking to a friend about this really cute chick that you just met, and how you like her, and can’t wait to meet her for that cup of tea. She’ll probably giggle some more. Lovely.
STEP #5. When you leave, give her a hug… and if you’ve kissed her already, give her another light kiss.
Keep the physical connection alive. A bodily connection is rooted and real, a mere verbal connection is still up in the air. Again, makes you more memorable. Besides, a physical connection ensures you don’t get dumped into the friend zone. And… it makes it easier to pick up that physical connection next time you see her. Nice.
And that’s all there is to it. If you wanna a SOLID number close, get to know her. Spend AT LEAST 25 – 40 minutes with her. The rest is cake.
Kevin James inviting Amber Valletta over in “Hitch.” http://onthesetofnewyork.com/hitch
Have you ever wondered how to invite a woman back to your place… in a way that she’ll WANT to say yes? I know, I have.
Well, here’s the secret.
Before you invite her to your place, take her to another venue… bar, pizza joint, whatever. Once you walk into another place TOGETHER, you’re no longer strangers. You’re like a couple.
By the way, if she’s with a group of friends, it’s okay to have them come along, too. Being part of her group and winning over her friends is a good thing.
Anyway, once she’s out with you at another venue… something weird happens. Like I said, there’s a feeling like you’re on the same team, like you’ve known each other for a while.
Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaughey play foosball in “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past” http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/
If you take her to one or two more new venues in one night, it’s like you’ve been on three dates with her. There’s a feeling of “us.” Then when the venues are closing for the night, it’s natural to invite her to your place.
When she’s in bed with you wondering “Do I really know this guy?” and thinks about the four hours she’s spent with you, she remembers being in all those different places with you, and all those memories she’s had with you. It will feel like she’s known you for awhile. She’ll feel a lot more comfortable.
Now, contrast this to if you had spent four hours with her in one place. Same amount of time, but because it’s the SAME place where you were strangers in, you’ll still feel like a stranger to her.
So, next time you go out, “bounce” her as Mystery would say. Then you can invite her back to your place.
You can say something like “You should come over because I want to show you that (fill in the blank: ex. movie, fish tank, hot tub) we were talking about.”
It’s weird, but using the word “because” after a request makes it more attractive for a person to say yes. For example, if a person were to ask you, “can I cut you in line because I’m late for work,” you’d probably be more okay with it than if he asked “can I cut you?” for no reason at all.
And fill in the blank with something unrelated to sex. Don’t let her take responsibility for sex. If she has to, she might appear like a “slut,” so chances are higher that she’ll resist. Take the lead. Make coming over to your place non-sexual. She knows what’s going on, but you’ve made it plausible for her to deny that she came over for sex. And she can tell her friends the next day “it just happened.” Nice.
The point is, before you invite her to your place, invite her to other places with you. Get that yes-ladder momentum going. Let her get to know you and feel “together” with you. Then when it comes time to invite her over, it’s a natural.
Spend time with her in different places before you invite her up.
Get in the driver’s seat and take the WHOLE group for a fun ride.
I was re-reading parts of The Game, and I had a revelation. When you DHV, don’t DHV to the target. DHV to the guys and to the ugly girls. The target? Ignore her.
Here’s the idea behind this…
Beautiful Women Aren’t Different From Anyone Else
“10”
Let’s talk about beautiful women for a sec. I’m talking about the most UNUSUALLY beautiful women. The 9’s and 10’s. The ones you don’t see everyday, and when you do see one you lose the ability to remember your name.
These women are so outstandingly beautiful that a lot of us guys think we have to treat them differently. We’re either too afraid to talk to them, and just stand by the sidelines and stare… Or we give her all sorts of compliments and buy her drinks and dinner.
As you know and I know, that ain’t gonna work to attract them.
When dealing with these freaks of nature, the thing to keep in mind is… they’re used to getting lots of attention, just because of their physical appearance. They’re used to being treated special because of their physical beauty, and not appreciated for their inner qualities.
On the one hand, it’s lonely being beautiful. No one sees her for who she is. Her beauty creates distance from everyone else.
On the other hand, she also wants to be UNUSUALLY beautiful, and she wants you to know it.
Look at the hours and dollars she spends making herself with makeup, getting her skin soft, smelling good, getting her hair done, choosing just the right outfit, buying the right shoes, obsessing about her weight, removing hair in weird places, even in some cases getting plastic surgery.
Girls spend a lot of time and money looking beautiful
And acting the part of someone with an air of untouchable beauty.
Beauty gives women power. Why? Because their beauty makes a lot of us guys give our “power” away to them.
She wants to be the most beautiful woman in the room, and when we approach her, she wants to reject us. It makes her feel important.
So, the idea is to do the opposite of putting her on a pedestal. You CHALLENGE her.
In the case of Mystery’s Method, when you approach a group of people that has that INCREDIBLY beautiful woman in it… remember, women are rarely found alone… that means you actually pay attention to everyone else in the group, but her. And if she says anything TEASE her.
The message is: “You’re not getting special treatment from me just because you’re beautiful. You’re a human being just like the rest of us. ”
This creates a HUGE challenge. I mean for her, most guys are just this blur of compliments, sexual predatoriness, or approval-seeking. So when she find a guy who treats her like a human being just like everyone else, he STANDS OUT. He’s the type of a guy she doesn’t come across everyday. She does a double take. She’s attracted.
The Basic Format To All Approaches, By Mystery
Mystery smiling large
So, let me share with you the passage that gave me this revelation. It’s a handout Mystery used to hand out to his workshops. You can see it on page 35 of The Game. It’s his basic format to his all his approaches.
1. Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate–approach instantly.
2. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row.
3. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.
4. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. Tell her, “It’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.” Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.
5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes, and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, but only for the obstacles.
6. Neg the target, if appropriate. If she wants to look at the pictures, for example, say “Oh my god, she’s so grabby. How do you roll with her?”
7. Ask the group, “So, how does everyone know each other?” If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they’ve been together.
8a. If it’s a serious relationship, eject politely by saying, “Pleasure meeting you.”
8b. If she is not spoken for, say to the group, “I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?” They always say, “Uh, sure. If it’s okay with her.” If you’ve executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree.
9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, it’s on. Start looking for other IOIs.
10. Sit with her and perform a rune reading, an ESP test, or any other demonstration that will fascinate and intrigue her.
11. Tell her, “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI.
12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word “So?” If she does, then you’ve now seen three IOIs and can…
13. Kiss close. Say, out of the blue, “Would you like to kiss me?” If the setting or circumstances aren’t conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, “I have to go, but we should continue this.” Then get her number and leave.
Mystery’s negs. From page 35 of “The Game,” by Neil Strauss
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. Hey did you see the fight outside? (Girl Fight Story)
3. That’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.
4. Multiple thread The Hollywood Sign Story, ESP, and a qualifier to different people:
“Do you have a good imagination? You do? I want you to think of a number from 1 – 4. We’re starting small, that’s why we’re starting with you. That’s right, I said it! Do you have it in your mind? Don’t say it, just think it. The first number that pops into your head. Got it?
“I’m curious about something before we get to that. Is there more to you than meet the eye? I mean, don’t get a big head. There’s a lot of beautiful people around us, right? Beauty is very common. Would you not agree? You know what’s really rare?
“Are you thinking of that number? Focusing? 3. Nice! (or, if incorrect “And that’s why ESP is bullshit.”) Let’s up the stakes (or let’s try it again). Pick a number this time from 1 -10. You got it? Nice.
“Oh, by the way, have you ever been to the Hollywood sign? (You can create your own variation of this story based on something similar to the Hollywood sign in your hometown. For example, everywhere there’s a place where you get away from it all to look at the stars.) Have you ever gone to the base of it? Have you climbed up to it? Well, I went with a lovely girl (preselection switch) at the time and went up to the sign. It takes a good 40 minutes and you have to climb a fence. Next time you go, bring good shoes that will get you up there with no problem. Because you don’t want to get up there with leather shoes like I did, like a moron. That was my learning experience. But when you’re up there you can see all of Hollywood in one eye shot and it really gives you the clarity that anything is possible if you dream. Then you see it all in one eye shot. It’s inspiring.
“You got that number in your mind? 7. Nice. See, what’s really rare is a great outlook and a great personality, a great energy. That’s rare. You’ve got 2 out of 3. That’s a great start.”
5. So, how does everyone know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
OR
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool.
8. Kino hand-squeeze test as you lead her through crowd.
9. Have you ever done of The Cube? (The Cube)
10. Stop talking… she reinitiates the conversation.
11. Would you like to kiss me?
12. I have to go, we should continue this. Get her number. (OR Bounce her: Let’s get back to your friends. There’s a great place across the street. We should go with you and your friends.)
Sample Script (Style)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds
2. Hey, let me get your take on something. I’ve only got a sec but… (Jealous Girlfriend)
3. Wow, you guys are like from the View. This one I can tell we would NOT get along.
4. Multiple thread Ring Routine, The Best Friend Test, C & U Smiles:
“I have to ask before I run. Do you always wear a ring on that finger? The reason I’m asking is the finger a person chooses to put a ring on says something about their personality. The fact you wear a ring on that finger says something fascinating about you. Let me see your hand. Back in ancient Greece, each mound represented a different god. And a person back then would put a ring on the associated finger to honor that god.
“Oh my God, hold on a sec. How long have you known each other? See I knew that! Well, for one, you have the same exact smile. And for two, well, I’ll just give you the Best Friend Test. Ready? Do you use the same shampoo? (They look at each other first) You don’t even have to answer, you already passed. You looked at each other before even answering the question. You just did it again. And again. See, if you weren’t close, you’d keep eye contact with me. But when two people have a connection, they make eye contact first, even over something as mundane as shampoo. Nice.
“Okay, so the rings. Very interesting what it says about each of you. The thumb represented Hades, the god of the underworld. He was one of the few gods that lived separate from Mount Olympus, just like the thumb is separate from the other fingers. So, someone who wears a ring on this finger is independent and doesn’t like to follow other people’s trends. Instead, they like to make their own.
“The index finger was Zeus, and he was the king of the gods. And just like when a mother is scolding their daughter (act this out), someone who wears a ring on this finger has an inclination to take charge.
“The middle finger was Dionysus, the god of wine and partying and having a great time. And just like this finger represents something that’s not G-rated, someone who wears a ring on this finger has a little bit of a wild side. So, watch out for her. She’s trouble.
“Haha. Smile for me again? You have a U Smile! That’s awesome. Well there’s U smiles and C smiles. The U Smile is when you smile and your teeth go straight back into your mouth like a horse. And the C Smile is when you smile and all you see is a row of pearly whites in the front. If you ever look on the cover of like Cosmo or Glamour, the girl always has a C Smile. You have a U smile, but don’t worry, I still think you’re hot… in that short school bus sort of way. *smile*
“So, the ring finger is one of the coolest. This was Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And you can look this up, it’s true. This finger is the only one that has a vein that goes straight to your heart without branching off. (demo line going from finger to her heart). So anyone who wears a ring on this finger is actually making a direct connection with their heart. That’s why to this day we’ll wear our wedding ring on this finger.
“Finally, the pinky finger was Ares, the god of war. And you’ll notice a lot of mobsters will wear their ring on this finger. Someone who wears a ring on this finger has some inner turmoil or conflict within. They like to fight. And if you had given someone a pinky ring back then it mean ‘fuck you’ or ‘go to hell.’
“And for someone who doesn’t wear rings, like me that meant you were aligned with Hermes. He was one of the most mischievous of the gods. And he was the one that flew from Mount Olympus to earth. So, someone who doesn’t wear rings is open-minded, loves to travel, likes to be helpful, but has a little bit of a mischievous side. And that’s definitely me. But your personality is… Any truth to that? Pretty cool, right? You guys are awesome.”
5. So, how do you all know each other?
6a. Pleasure meeting you.
OR
6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?
7. I want to show you something cool. Have you ever done the Cube? (You could also do EV or Secret Self here too)
8. Beauty is common.
9. Stop talking.
10. Evolution Phase Shift Routine.
11. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her and her friends
Sample Script (Brad P)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. You look familiar. Do you like horses? (Tell the story to the whole group)
3. Do you mind if I talk to your friend for a sec?
4. Have you ever had your palm read? (Brad P’s Palm Reading)
5. Beauty is common…
6. Stop talking
7. On a scale of 1 – 10, how good of a kisser are you?
8. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her
Sample Script (My own)
1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.
2. I have this rule that whenever I see someone attractive I have to at least say hi.
3. Quit looking at my chest my eyes are up here.
4. You guys seem really cool. My passion in life is writing. Are you passionate? What’s something you guys enjoy doing?
6. I’m making her my new girlfriend. We’re gonna fly to Vegas tomorrow and get married. You can be Catwoman, and I’ll be Batman. It’ll be awesome.
7. Do you mind if I talk to her for a sec?
8. I want to show you something really cool. Someone just did this with me recently. It’s a great, quick way to get to know someone. In fact, a lot of people don’t even know this about themselves. (Use her answer about passion as a springboard to Style’s EV)
9. Beauty is common…
10. Stop talking.
11. Brush hair out of face, and kiss.
12. We should continue this, and get her number… or bounce her.
Conclusion
Next time you go out, try out any of the scripts I’ve given you that’s most aligned with your personality.
When you deliver the DHV, make sure to do it to the ones you’re NOT interested in. Make eye contact with EVERYONE. Your target? Neg her. This allows you to convey your personality and win over her friends. And with the target, the negs/banter/cocky-funny lines create sexual tension and show her you’re that rare man that’s interested more in a woman’s inner beauty than her superficial, external shell.
1. “The number one characteristic of an alpha male is the smile. Smile when you enter a room. As soon as you walk in a club, the game is on. And by smiling, you look like you’re together, you’re fun, and you’re somebody.
2. “Be well-groomed.”
Shower. Soap yourself at least three times to smell really clean. Brush your teeth. Make sure your breath smells good. Carry gum if you have to. Put on a great smelling deodorant. If you’re going to put on cologne, make sure it’s just a DAB. Have your fashion together: wear at least one interesting item of clothing. If you look average, you’re going to get average girls. Alpha males don’t blend in, they stand out. At the very least, dress the best you can.
3. “Possess a sense of humor.”
See my post “Flirting” for more info on this. Banter, cocky-funny, and negs are all great techniques to make women laugh in an attractive way.
4. “Connect with people.”
Don’t do all the talking. Listen. That means get where a person is coming from. Put yourself in their shoes. Also, at bottom, every person wants to feel important. Don’t knock people down. Make people feel important.
5. “Be the social center of a room.”
See my post “The Key To Picking Up Chicks Is Not Picking Them Up” for more on this. Mystery is famous for saying “there are the observers and the observed. Be the observed.” The three second rule isn’t just opening the first attractive women you see. It means opening the first people you see period. Talk to everyone, even if it’s a simple “How’s your night going?” Bartenders, Bouncers, ugly girls, guys. Be the social center of a room.
6. “Confidence.”
Confidence comes from competence. You’re the prize. You’re the selector. Not her. If you don’t know this about yourself yet, fake it till you make. Dwell on your positive attributes and your accomplishments (not your drawbacks and failures). Keep telling yourself you’re the catch and she’s lucky talking with you. That belief translates into confidence. And women will smell it off you like cologne.
You can find these six characteristics in “The Game” by Neil Strauss (page 21-22).
For now, practice smiling when you enter a room. When you’re walking down the street, give a smile to at least three people. And next time you’re at a register, ask the cashier “how’s your day going?” or try out a banter line on her. You’ll be on your way to developing confidence, and the characteristics of an alpha male.
Let’s say you’re getting REALLY great with women. You’ve been going out four times a week for the last eight months, you’ve been keeping track of your approaches, and girls are starting to respond BEAUTIFULLY. They’re laughing, you’re the most interesting guy in the room, and you’re making them chase.
Guess what? You’re going to have a whole new problem on your hands. More than one girl is going to want sex from you.
I know, I know. This is a problem? Haha Well, it’s a QUALITY problem.
For example, let me ask you this question. Is it okay to sleep with more than one woman at the same time?
Hell, yeah.
You object you say? Well, check out my take on the whole subject.
As long as a girl knows you’ve got other women in your life, and she’s okay with that, I see absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with multiple women at the same time.
I’ll say it again. As long as you’re HONEST about the fact that you sleep with other women and she agrees to that condition, how are you being dishonest or unethical about sleeping with other women?
And this goes without saying, but use protection. Of course.
Here’s the other side to this. If you tell a woman you’re going to be faithful to her and you both agree to these terms, then be faithful. Break up with her before you cheat on her.
But if you’re single, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeing multiple women. In fact, it can be a good thing.
I mean, would you buy the first shirt you try on in a store, or would you try on different ones to see which fit best? So, how are you supposed to find a woman who’s right for you if you get into a monogamous relationship with the first woman you sleep with?
Now, the big question is this. HOW do you be honest with a woman that you’re sleeping with other women in a way that doesn’t turn her off?
Excellent question.
And let me just say right here that… not every girl is gonna love the idea. That’s okay. But you’ll be surprised how many girls will be totally okay with it. To make her feel comfortable with it, there’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
Believe me, I’ve done the wrong way many times. So, learn from my mistakes. I’m gonna give you six steps to follow. By the way, I learned these from Brad P and Joshua Pellicier, and have field tested them myself. They work.
STEP #1. SOW THE SEED.
Sow the seed in the first ten to fifteen minutes of meeting her. You’ve got a few ways to do this.
Option #1: Banter. Joke about how you’ve got a lot of girlfriends. Or if she’s grabbing at you, tell her to take a number. Or if she says something you like, tell her you’re going to make her your Tuesday girlfriend and if she’s good, you’ll make her your Friday girlfriend (where the real fun is). Come up with your own stuff if you’d like. But play the role of a guy who’s got lots of girls in his life.
She’ll get the message on a subconscious level. Like the old adage goes, jokes have a kernel of truth.
Option #2: Tell stories. You can tell stories about how you’re from out of town, or you can tell an embarrassing story about how you’ve got girls fighting over you (see “Wrong Number” story under the “Funny Stories” section of “My Routines Collection” for an example).
Option #3. Tell her you’re polyamorous. (credit: Joshua Pellicier) This is probably the best way to go, because it’s the most upfront. No gray areas here. Here’s an example of how that exchange might go:
You: “How did your last relationship end?”
She: “Oh, he was jealous. It ended. Whatever.”
You: “I don’t have that problem anymore because I changed something about the way I’m in relationships now. But yeah… I remember what that was like and it completely sucks!”
She: Talks about jealousy, fear, lying, apathy, or selfishness.
You: “You know that doesn’t happen in a polyamorous relationship. Have you ever considered just being polyamorous with guys that make you feel that way?”
She: “What is polyamory?”
You: “Poly means many and amor means love, so polyamory means lots of loves. I have many girlfriends at the same time. They’re free to date who they want, too. And if a girl’s not comfortable with it, I don’t date her. But they all know about each other ahead of time.”
If she’s not cool with it, then you don’t date her.
STEP #2. ANSWER OBJECTIONS.
Here’s some objections you might get and how to handle them. Again, credit goes to Joshua Pellicer for this.
Objection #1: “I could never do that.”
Response: “Hey, it’s not for everyone. But if you ever meet a guy who’s good at it, I highly suggest you try it out. It’s an amazing experience because there’s no relationship drama. A lot of the girls who are dating me are doing it for the first time, and love it. Not a lot of guys know how to do it right, but if you ever run into another one, try it out. It’s fun.”
She: “Okay, yeah, I’ll try that out”
Objection #2: “Are you sleeping with all of them?”
Response: “Well, yeah, most of them. I mean I’m not going to deprive them of sex. But we also have a 100% protection rule. We always use protection. But, yeah, I’m sleeping with most of them.”
Objection #3: “What kind of girl would actually do that?”
Response: “Girls like you that are confident. They’re trying it out for the first time, and are completely comfortable with it.”
Objection #4: “Do they all know about each other?”
Response: “Absolutely. If she’s not comfortable with it, then I don’t date her. I don’t sleep with her, nothing.”
Objection #5: “So you’re cheating then?”
Response: “No. All the girls all know about each other. And they’re all cool with it. You can’t cheat. Everyone is open about seeing other people, so there’s no cheating.”
Objection #6: “So you never want to get married?”
Response: “I definitely do. I’m in a dating phase of my life. But someday I hope I get married. And someday they’ll probably get married and I hope that for them. They’ll leave and that’s okay.”
Objection #7: “What kind of girls are these girls?”
Response: “They’re from all walks of life. There’s a girl who’s from Thailand. There’s a girl who’s studying to become a CNA. There’s a girl who’s a waitress. There’s a girl who’s a real estate agent. There’s a girl who works in a bookstore. There’s a girl who’s a stripper, a hippie, and a teacher. ”
If you don’t have any girlfriends, you can say: “I’m not sleeping with all of them”… and “The girls I’ve dated in the past are from all walks of life.”
STEP 3. ESCALATE QUICKLY. Escalate physically quickly, touching often. Act the role of a seducer, not someone who’s courting her.
But when you escalate, remember to push her away, too. This creates sexual tension. Pull her in and push her away. Logic goes out the door for her. All that’s on her mind is… yum.
STEP 4. REINFORCEMENT.
This step is all-important. Women will believe your actions more than your words. If you say you don’t want a relationship, but then ACT like you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to believe your words. More important than talking about it is ACTING it.
What does that mean?
Don’t buy her dinners or do other “courting” behaviors before you sleep with her.
Don’t sleep with her more than twice a week.
Don’t call her more than twice a week.
Don’t email her more than four times a week.
These are guidelines I’ve picked up from Brad P that I’ve been found to be solid.
The more often you see a woman in a week, the more she’ll think she’s your girlfriend even if you say you don’t want one. But the less contact you have with her in a week, the more she’ll believe your words.
Here’s four other reinforcement techniques you can use that I picked up from Pellicier.
#1. Ask her opinion of other girls: “What do you think about that girl?”
#2. Fish for jealousy: “That girl is hot.” If she get jealous, bad sign. She won’t be okay with you sleeping with other girls.
#3. Don’t be available: “Hey, I won’t be available to hang out until Thursday.” If she ever asks you to cancel plans, reinforce polyamory: “Remember this is a polyamorous relationship. I’m still here for you, but on my own terms.” If that doesn’t work, run. You’ve got a jealous girl on your hands.
#4. Don’t build rapport too fast: Get things sexual fast. THEN build rapport. Too much rapport before sex can lead to hurt feelings, confusion or anger. Keep the emotional connection mellow, until later.
STEP 5. SEX.
Give her an amazing sexual experience. Give her orgasms. And she’ll keep coming back for more.
And it’s courteous to sleep with her at least twice. It shows you cared about her experience.
STEP SIX. AFTER SEX.
It’s okay to cuddle and connect with her. But connect like a friend, not a boyfriend. Keep things light with some fun banter, or go into normal conversation or light rapport, not the deep rapport.
DON’T make any plans with her. She can tell you about her problems, ask advice, share what’s going on in her life… but if she starts to talk future stuff, cut it off. Reinforce this relationship is polyamorous.
If you can, let her stay. Have breakfast. If she needs a ride, give her one.
But once she leaves, keep up the search. Don’t get too attached to one person, unless you want a monogamous relationship.
Okay, so those are the six steps.
Pick a way to sow the seed from Step #1 and incorporate it into your stack. Next time you go out, sow the seed within ten minutes. Believe in your bones you’re a catch. Act the part of a man women want. She’ll believe it on an emotional level and she’ll feel attraction. Acting the part of a man with an abundance of women in his life happens to also be THE critical piece to attracting women.
Every man should go through this experience. It raises your confidence and I’ve personally learned so much about myself and about women going through it. Also, when you do find that one good woman, it makes monogamy that much sweeter.
Just remember, when you do go through this, do it in a way that always leaves a woman better off than when you first met her.
Like the old saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words. It’s one thing to read about pickup, it’s another thing to actually SEE it in action.
One reason so many of us guys have gotten stuck during our pickup journey is because we’re inundated with THEORY. Theory is great if you want to take a midterm exam, but it’s next to USELESS in the field.
Then we get criticized by all the “gurus” for only reading about pickup rather than getting out into the field. Well, duh! That’s how we’re being taught. Students reflect their teachers.
Anyway, I wanted to give you a few videos so you can SEE attraction and pickup in action. That way your subconscious will pick up lessons you can’t from just reading. Watch and learn. And you’ll be better prepared what to do in the field.
