Category Archives: Sex

Sex Tips, Part 1: Getting Prepped

Getting prepped

Getting prepped.

I’m gonna dig into one of my favorite subjects here.


You can have your inner and outer-games together, but if you don’t know what to do with her when you get her into bed, she might not be coming back to you for more.

Here’s some sex tips I’ve learned along the way. There’s a few here, so I’m gonna split them into separate posts. Starting with how to prep, and going all the way to intercourse.

Hell, yeah.

As you could probably tell from the title of this one, this post is all about how to get prepped.

>>>TIP #1. Masturbate.

Wait, wait, wait. Isn’t masturbation bad?

Well, like my basketball coach used to say, practice don’t make perfect. PERFECT practice makes perfect.

Same thing with sex. And masturbation is your practice. How you masturbate is how you’ll perform. Bust a nut FAST… guess what? That’s probably how you’ll be with her.

By the way, WARNING: Ejaculating too often weakens your shit.


DON’T ejaculate.


I know, I know. Seems crazy. I thought the same thing.

But here’s the thing. You can actually orgasm without ejaculating. Swear to God.

They’re two separate physical functions. We’re used to experiencing them happening together, so we’ve come to believe they’re the same. They’re not. And you can train yourself to separate one from the other.


Rate your sexual excitement from 1 – 10. 10 is orgasm. 1 is Janet Reno on a cold day. When you get to 7, back off. Masturbate again until you get to 8, then back off again. Masturbate again until you get to 9, then back off.

It takes a shit load of practice and discipline. To be honest, it took me about 9 months. But I had a lot of fun along the way. I mean… who said that?

And, don’t worry. Guys have succeeded in getting non-ejaculatory orgasms in way less time than I did.

But goddam, it feels so good, you just want to come. So, it’s a bitch and a half. If you come, no worries. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just keep at. Soon, you’ll be orgasming without ejaculating. I promise.

Here’s another tip about lasting longer. When you focus too much sexual energy in your cock, you spew. Same thing when you tense up your groin muscles. Tension makes you ejaculate.

So, relax your groin muscles. You last longer. Magic!

Also, move the sexual energy away from your cock and move it throughout your body. You kinda have to use your imagination to do this.

First, feel the sexual energy in your body. Usually, you’ll feel it down there. Then, when you inhale, breathe the energy away from your cock down to your toes… or up to your head… or your chest… or wherever you want.

This allows you to have an “internal” orgasm, rather than an “external” one. And when you can have an internal orgasm, you can have multiple orgasms, too. I know I have.

I’m aware that this sounds a little crazy. It did to me when I first heard it. But open your mind and try it out. When you experience it, you’ll know what I mean.

Here’s the biggest pay off.

You train yourself to enjoy the “process” of sex rather than rush to the climax. This heightened awareness helps you become a better lover. When you’re fully present with the woman you’re with, you get to enjoy the real fun in sex. Not the climax, but the here and now.

So, again, the way you masturbate is how you perform. Practice NOT ejaculating.

>>>TIP #2. Trim your nails.

If you finger her and your nails aren’t trimmed, you can seriously hurt her. Trim your nails.

>>>TIP #3. Shave.

That stubble can feel like 60-grit sandpaper on her face and thighs. Shave, so you don’t hurt her.

>>>TIP #4. Keep condoms handy.

Keep em under the pillow. Then when it’s time to put it in, you don’t have to go hunting for one. It’s right there. Also, keep one in the car console, in case you don’t make it to the bedroom.

>>>TIP #5. Keep lube handy.

You can never have too much lube. Extra lube helps with clit stimulation, G-spot stimulation, and deep-spot stimulation. Certain lubes can also work great for massages, too. And as you and I know, massages are PRIMO in getting women in the mood.


What happens when you give a woman a massage 

Lesson? You can never have too much lube. Keep the mo-fo handy.

First Time Sex


I’m gonna let Mystery talk about first time sex here. He’s got some great words of wisdom.

Mystery: First time sex is very important.

I live in a world of abundance. Seriously. Do you know how many WOMEN are out there?

So, first time sex is NOT about trying to get your rocks off. Have sex with her because you legitimately LIKE this girl.

Sleep with ’em because you like ’em.

I’ve gone through my rockstar phase. I’ve had some hot girls… but they weren’t QUALITY. Crazy, huh?

I personally only go after women who has a sexuality and a personality about them that keeps me engaged.

First time sex is important. Practice up to that part. But don’t have sex with a girl and afterwards you’re like I don’t want to see her again.

Wouldn’t you rather look down and say, “Oh my God! I can’t believe she’s laying here next to me. I deserve this, but holy shit. I’m gonna do my best to be the best man possible, ’cause she inspires me.”

This is from an interview he did with David DeAngelo of David’s “Interviews with Dating Gurus” series.

It’s a point well taken. Be careful who you have sex with. Don’t have sex just to get your rocks off or feed your ego or brag to the guys “I conquered her.” Have sex with her because you actually like her.

So, practice pickup up to the point of sex. And if she’s a girl you honestly like, go for it.

If you are gonna go for it, here are some quick rules of thumb to follow.

1. Tease her, give her lots of arousal, and build anticipation. That means there’s absolutely no rush to stick your dick into her. The more she’s worked up before you enter her, the closer she’ll be to the edge of orgasm. And make sure she comes before you do.

2. There’s no need to be silent just because you’re in bed with her. Talk with her. Tell her how beautiful she looks, describe what you’re doing and use dirty words like “fuck,” “cock,” and “pussy.” Tell her what to do and tell her you like what she’s doing. If you’re feeling good, express it. Make noise. You love to hear a woman get turned on, right? Same thing with women. They love to hear you’re getting turned on.

3. Dominate her, ravish her, unleash the animal inside. But also be sensitive enough to listen to her body and her moans and respond to her accordingly. It’s very much like a conversation. Listen, and respond. It’s not a monologue where you do all the talking or where you’re performing. You’re CONNECTING with this real live human being right here, right now, right in front of you.

4. Enjoy yourself as if you’re eating the most delicious meal you’ve ever had. It’s so delicious and fills you with such pleasure you don’t want it to end. If you make sure to enjoy yourself, I guarantee she’ll enjoy herself too.

I’ve got more stuff on this under the category “Sex.”

Oh, and one last thing. Have fun.


The “Tantra Chair” – AWESOME!

This piece of furniture is AWESOME!

It ain’t cheap. But it’s designed so you can do any of those crazy kama sutra positions with ease. Plus it’s beautiful. And it’s made from a type of leather that feels wonderful on the skin and you don’t have to worry about making a mess.

The video is graphic, but it’s damn cool.

Men are like Fire, Women are like Water

“Men are like fire–quick to ignite and quick to extinguish. Women are like water–slow to boil but keep on boiling” – a Taoist expression as quoted by Sex Coach Kim Amami, from July/August 2012 Playboy

We’ll be better lovers if we can learn to prolong our arousal.


Relax the muscles around the groin, and breathe out the tension. The tenser we are around the groin, the closer we get pushed over the edge. The more relaxed we are, the longer we’ll last.

When You Fuck a Girl, Do This


Feel in your body what she’s feeling.

Let me ask you this. What causes goose bumps? Shivers? A chill down your spine? What about that feeling you get that makes you want to fuck, especially when you see a nice ass like this?


It’s been called chi in China, ki in Japan, prana in India, kundalini in yoga, but it’s all energy.

Sexual Energy Credit: wikipedia

Our life force. Leaves our body when we die. Pervades the universe. Einstein: equals matter times the speed of light squared. Makes us feel sexual. Energy from the genitals makes us feel sexual. Feels like a light in our bodies. You can tune into it.

You can tune into hers, too. You can feel what she’s feeling.

When your fingers touch her skin, or the inside of her pussy, feel her pleasure. Imagine her sexual energy going from her body into your hand. Touch SLOWLY, just the hairs on her skin and feel what she’s feeling.

You can use other body parts, too. Chest, cheek, lips, forearm, shoulder, hair, chin, ear, knee, ass, feet, tongue, breath…

Whatever way you touch her, feel what she’s feeling in your body. Follow her cues. You’ll know where to go and what to do next. You’re not just giving her pleasure, but taking it in too.

You won’t be bored. Won’t be distracted. Won’t have to accomplish anything. “I have to make her orgasm.” Nah. Just enjoying the pleasure. Enjoying this woman right here, right now, in front of you. Enjoying feeling what she’s feeling.

How A Woman Must Be Touched

One night, I watched her at the window in her sleep. I noticed for the first time, how a woman’s underclothes barely touches her skin. How it rides on a cushion of air as she moves. How the silk floats about her body, brushing her flesh like an angel’s wings, and I understood how a woman must be touched.

-Don Juan DeMarco


The quote appears about 5:23 in this clip.

Women love to get FUCKED!

We don’t have to talk a women into having sex.

Women love sex! They actually WANT to have sex.

Okay, well maybe if she has sex out of obligation… Or if sex for her is’t fun… then maybe she won’t want it.

But if she ENJOYS the sex… why would anyone NOT want to do something that feels awesome?

Then you look at a book like Nancy Friday’s “Secret Garden” about women’s fantasies.


And you see a theme. A lot of women’s fantasies have to do with being dominated, “ravaged,” and “taken.” You realize, women don’t just love sex, they love to get FUCKED!

What does that mean?

#1. FUCK her.

You don’t always have to make “sweet love” to a woman. Of course there’s a time and a place for that. And women do enjoy it. But women also love to get raunchy, animalistic, and naughty. They love dirty talk, they love to be taboo, and they love to be dominated. Women are horny and deeply sexual.

So, talk dirty. Make noise. Pull her hair. Pin her hands behind her head. Slap her ass. Feel her tits. Pick her up. Bend her over. Throw her on the bed. Fuck her pussy. GET IN TOUCH WITH THE ANIMAL WITHIN. Get completely and totally turned on by her. Dominate her. And above all, ENJOY being with her.

#2. Don’t Be Judgmental.

Never EVER pass judgment on her sexuality. It’s GREAT that she’s sexual! Love it.

And isn’t weird that there’s no equivalent derogatory word “slut” for a man? You call a man a “male slut” and it’s almost a compliment. The concept “slut” imprisons women, it doesn’t liberate them.

The more you’re okay with her sexuality, the more she’ll be comfortable enough to unleash the sexual MONSTER inside of her. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Love it love it love it.

#3. Attitude — She Wants You

You already have what she wants. You have a cock and she wants it. Never have to talk a woman into sex. Never have to kiss her ass to get laid. Never have to spend loads of money on her to fuck her. Just turn her on.

#4. GIve Her Sex She ENJOYS

Make her FEEL good inside, and turn her body on. Both. Technique won’t do it alone. Then make sure she has an orgasm before you do. And watch out. She’ll be begging YOU for sex.

David Shade was the first person to open my eyes to this. My experiences with women have shown this to be true over and over and over again. And, let me tell you, there’s nothing more beautiful in the world than a woman in ecstasy. She WANTS to get fucked, so goddammit FUCK her!

Foreplay IS sex

It’s almost as if all you need to be a better lover is do what most guys don’t do.

Yeah, great. Thanks for that stellar insight. But what EXACTLY does that mean?

Spend MORE TIME turning her on and working her up.

If you wait to penetrate her, making her WANT you to penetrate her, by the time you penetrate her she’s already probably pretty close to orgasm.

Like, picture a graph. 0 is her picking her toenails and 10 is orgasm. If you wait to penetrate her when she’s at a 9 (or even a 10), it makes it more likely she’ll come while you’re fucking her. Right?

But I shouldn’t even mention penetration. Get penetration outta your mind. In fact, pretend you don’t have a dick. Pretend you’re a lesbian.

Okay, now that you got penetration out of the way, guess what her largest sexual organ is? HINT: it ain’t her pussy or her tits. It’s her BRAIN and her HEART. So, instead of stimulating her pussy, stimulate her feelings.

Stimulate Her Feelings

That means, first of all, start sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom. With your clothes on.

It’s weird, I know. But women get turned on different from us. We’re like a light switch. We see a nice ass. BAM! Okay, ready to go. Let’s get it on.

Women are more like a pot of water, though. Water doesn’t go from room temperature to boiling right away. You gotta keep it over the heat a little while. When it’s heated up, holy shit, it’s boiling. Niiiiiiice! So, spend more time making her feel good, desired, taken care of, loved, beautiful.

Drive out to the country. Go for a walk in a park. Have dinner at a romantic restaurant. Send her a text telling her you can’t wait to see her. Open the car door for her. Tell her she looks beautiful.

Here’s probably the most important part. Make her feel RELAXED and SAFE as well as make her feel BEAUTIFUL. And never EVER be judgmental. If you make her feel like shit, or like she’s undesirable and if she doesn’t feel relaxed or good around you, sex (and ESPECIALLY her orgasm) ain’t gonna happen.

To make her feel safe, first of all, be comfortable with sex yourself.

Second of all, never pass any sexual judgment.

Stay away from saying things like, “that’s weird” or “that’s gross.” No. It’s all good. You’re not afraid of sex. You’re totally comfortable with it. She’ll feel more safe to let go if you are. She knows you’re not going to laugh at her or pass judgment if her body’s shaking or she’s making those glorious sounds you hear only when she’s over the top.

When you think about it, it’s scary to let go. So, you gotta be man enough to catch her. In fact, you can even tell her, “I got you baby. I got you.”

And to make her feel relaxed, give her a massage, hold her, hug her. Put on some candles, some music, set the mood. A glass of wine doesn’t hurt either.

You ain’t going no where. You’re gonna take your time. If she doesn’t feel relaxed and safe, she’s not gonna reach the summit.

And another great tip I recently learned from author Tom Leonardi is: massage her legs, her feet,

her ass, her back. Guys rarely do this. Not only does it turn you and her on, but it goes a long way to relaxing her, too.

Finally, express yourself. Don’t be all silent. Make sounds. If you wanna yell, yell. If you wanna say “I wanna fuck you so hard,” fucking say it. If you want your dick sucked, tell her “I want you to suck my dick.” Communication doesn’t magically evaporate once you’re in bed. You MUST communicate even more when you’re IN bed.

And, let’s be honest here, what guy wants to be with a woman who’s all silent? Who wants to be with a pancake? Doesn’t it turn you on when you hear a woman making sounds of ecstasy and talking dirty? I know it does for me. And I know girls love it, too. When she hears us enjoying ourselves, it turns her on just like it turns us on. BONUS… it keeps her mind from wondering. It keeps her mind in the present moment.

Oh, and speaking of the “present moment,” making eye contact with her while you’re fucking her is AWESOME. It’s awesome, because you connect with her not just on a physical level, but on an emotional and even spiritual level, too.

So, after this largest sexual organ, guess what her second largest sexual organ is? Still not her pussy or her tits. Haha It’s her SKIN all over.

Stimulate Her Skin

Stimulate ALL of her skin.

Explore all of her body, no matter how “non-sexual.” For example, biting (LIGHTLY) the crease of her inner elbow can be a major turn on.

And speaking of biting, you don’t have to just kiss or lick. You can bite, lightly scratch, blow, suck…  It’s like you’re this artist with a palette of tools and colors to work with. But DON’T put your dick in her right away. Enjoy, man even savor, this beautiful woman right here, right now, right in front of you. It’s fucking amazing.

Foreplay isn’t separate from sex. It IS sex.

I learned these lessons from Tom Leonardi, Alex Allman, David Shade, Mirabelle Summers, Gabrielle Moore, and Ellen Eatough.

The Five Principles of Female Pleasure

This is adapted from an article I read by Mirabelle Summers. She thought even though every woman is different there were five universal guidelines to follow in giving any woman pleasure:

1. Your attention goes on HER, not on you

• Don’t get bogged down by goals like “I need to give her an orgasm” or “I need to last all night.” In that scenario, you’re placing attention on you, not on her. Instead, pay attention to her subtle responses and adapt to them—like a good listener in a conversation.

• Take care or her before you take care of yourself.  After all, it takes longer for her to get warmed up than for us. As the saying goes, men are like light switches–flip them and we’re ready to go. Women are like pots of water–they need time to boil. So, warm her up before pleasing yourself. And it doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts outside with how you treat her. Make her feel beautiful and wanted… the water has already started to boil.

• Focus on what works for her, not on your pride (i.e. “I need to be the best ever”). This attitude of putting aside your pride, according to her, will put you in the sexual elite of men.

2. ALL women are DIFFERENT

• For every woman, the rule book is written afresh. So take the time to discover what THIS SPECIFIC woman HERE AND NOW prefers.

• To complicate things further, the same woman’s preferences also changes from moment to moment—so pay attention to her changes of mood and adjust accordingly.

3. Communicate and Pay Attention


• Observe her to figure out what’s working or not. For example, if she’s flat and quiet, change what you’re doing or take a step back, tell her she’s beautiful, and ask how she’s feeling. But if her back is arching, her legs are opening further, she’s moaning and panting, DON’T STOP THE RHYTHM–keep doing what you’re doing (unless of course you wanna tease her little before she explodes…observe the cat playing with the mouse hehehe)

• Verbal Communication: ASK if she likes what you’re doing. She’ll appreciate this—a lot. I’ve talked to women about this and they said they wished guys would do this more often.  They all say it would make her comfortable enough to tell us what she likes or doesn’t like. It also shows you have the BALLS—and humility—to ask. And the fact you want to please her and not just yourself, will make you stand out in her mind. Also, asking/talking to her prevents her mind from wondering and keeps her in the present moment, which will get her closer to mind-blowing bliss.

• Non-Verbal Communication: for example, if you’re fingering her, place her hand in your palm and ask her to trace circles on your palm. Follow her rhythm. If she presses on your palm, apply pressure. If she eases pressure, ease pressure. You can even can say, “Hey, squeeze my hand if you like how this feels.” This is VERY effective, especially if you have a girl who’s on the shy side to talk in bed.

4. Anticipation

* You know that long, slow vertical climb on a roller coaster? The anticipation of the drop makes your heart beats faster? Then when you reach the peak, you surrender to the drop and scream with excitement. That feeling of anticipation is what you want to build inside her.

• 75% of her enjoyment comes from her MIND

• Soooooo…build a YEARNING within her MIND AND body.

• DO NOT go straight to her obvious sexual parts or to intercourse. Take a detour, maybe slowly tracing patterns on her skin. OR lean in for a kiss, but don’t kiss her. OR when she’s about to cum, back off and let her finish when YOU want to. TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME before going anywhere near her vagina.

• Make her BEG for it. Make her LONG for it. Make her ACHE for it. Once you enter her, she’ll be so close to orgasm already that making her cum is a cinch. Man, women love this shit…they take pleasure in the process, not the goal. Actually, you know what? Now that I’ve been doing this, I so much prefer it this way, too. I mean, wouldn’t you prefer to enjoy the taste of your food making the experience last rather than wolfing it down?

5. No Performance

• Don’t be perfect. When you watch sex on the big screen it looks all perfect and serious with violins playing in the background, but you don’t have to mimic that. Have you ever seen the way your face looks during sex? It ain’t pretty. I’ve also fallen off the bed, bumped heads—there’s a lot of funny clumsy shit that happens during sex. We all know how much women love to laugh and how much that turns them on.  So why stop when you’re in bed with her (or on the kitchen table or wherever you are)?  Play, laugh, have fun, talk during sex. It doesn’t have to be this big dramatic thing where all of a sudden you’re not allowed to talk or look each in the eye anymore. WTF, right?

• Put aside the ego. You’re going to fuck-up. So fucking what? How else are you going to learn? Roll with it and move on. More important than “performing,” is leading her, discovering new lands together. That attitude takes a lot of pressure off you and makes us less self-conscious. And without that self-consciousness, now we can make some art.

• Rather than perform, be together with her.