I’m gonna let Mystery talk about first time sex here. He’s got some great words of wisdom.
Mystery: First time sex is very important.
I live in a world of abundance. Seriously. Do you know how many WOMEN are out there?
So, first time sex is NOT about trying to get your rocks off. Have sex with her because you legitimately LIKE this girl.
Sleep with ’em because you like ’em.
I’ve gone through my rockstar phase. I’ve had some hot girls… but they weren’t QUALITY. Crazy, huh?
I personally only go after women who has a sexuality and a personality about them that keeps me engaged.
First time sex is important. Practice up to that part. But don’t have sex with a girl and afterwards you’re like I don’t want to see her again.
Wouldn’t you rather look down and say, “Oh my God! I can’t believe she’s laying here next to me. I deserve this, but holy shit. I’m gonna do my best to be the best man possible, ’cause she inspires me.”
This is from an interview he did with David DeAngelo of David’s “Interviews with Dating Gurus” series.
It’s a point well taken. Be careful who you have sex with. Don’t have sex just to get your rocks off or feed your ego or brag to the guys “I conquered her.” Have sex with her because you actually like her.
So, practice pickup up to the point of sex. And if she’s a girl you honestly like, go for it.
If you are gonna go for it, here are some quick rules of thumb to follow.
1. Tease her, give her lots of arousal, and build anticipation. That means there’s absolutely no rush to stick your dick into her. The more she’s worked up before you enter her, the closer she’ll be to the edge of orgasm. And make sure she comes before you do.
2. There’s no need to be silent just because you’re in bed with her. Talk with her. Tell her how beautiful she looks, describe what you’re doing and use dirty words like “fuck,” “cock,” and “pussy.” Tell her what to do and tell her you like what she’s doing. If you’re feeling good, express it. Make noise. You love to hear a woman get turned on, right? Same thing with women. They love to hear you’re getting turned on.
3. Dominate her, ravish her, unleash the animal inside. But also be sensitive enough to listen to her body and her moans and respond to her accordingly. It’s very much like a conversation. Listen, and respond. It’s not a monologue where you do all the talking or where you’re performing. You’re CONNECTING with this real live human being right here, right now, right in front of you.
4. Enjoy yourself as if you’re eating the most delicious meal you’ve ever had. It’s so delicious and fills you with such pleasure you don’t want it to end. If you make sure to enjoy yourself, I guarantee she’ll enjoy herself too.
I’ve got more stuff on this under the category “Sex.”
Oh, and one last thing. Have fun.
Watch the talking bit, and gauge appropriately. Some of my lovers, notably American, loved being talked dirty with. My Polish, Finnish, and Dutch lovers were more the keep your mouth shut (talking) and concentrate on the physical signals and interaction. This doesn’t mean just start fucking them, rather it means read the reactions as you progress. Is she really done with you kissing her all over? Look at the reaction when you get closer to a typical male (breasts, clitoris) goal. You still dominate them, you don’t ask questions you act. They typically will use a verbal hint a few times, my Polish lover let me know she wanted me in her by muttering something about creaming all over a blanket, but don’t expect many of them. Above all, some women will NOT initiate sex itself. They’ll lie there and (if you’re really good) have multiple orgasms with just your tongue, but they won’t initiate penetration. A sad fact I learned with a Dutch gal.
Hey Joe, Thanks for your stopping by, reading, and taking the time to comment. Sounds like you’ve got some great skills. That’s fantastic.
However, there might be a slight misunderstanding of what I was trying to say here. Talking is just one form of making noise. It’s not the only form. Some guys (and I’ve been there myself) sometimes think it’s more manly to be completely silent during sex, like a stone cold statue. That’s not true.
What I was trying to say is that noise… and it can be moans, sighs, “that feels great,” whatever… turns her on way more than being stoic.
Imagine a martial artist who’s about to karate chop through a piece of wood. He lets out a loud “Hiya!” to strengthen his “chi” or energy and give him the POWER to execute that move. Same thing in bed. Being expressive helps strengthen that sexual energy, bring it to the surface, intensify it. It makes things more exciting and PASSIONATE for both her and for you.
This transcends cultures. I don’t care if she’s an American girl, a Finnish girl, a Dutch girl, a Chinese girl, an African girl… EVERYONE enjoys expression and passion, ESPECIALLY women who are doused with estrogen, the emotional chemical. I’ve been with girls from Cambodia, China, the Caribbean, Africa, Puerto Rico, America and whether they’re more a quiet personality or not, it didn’t matter. They had all commented on how they enjoyed that expressiveness, energy, passion more than detached silence. They enjoy having their MINDS stimulated in addition to their bodies.
And besides, just because you’ve had a Dutch lover who was silent does that really mean all Dutch women are like that? You’re not stereotyping, are you? More important than man-made labels of geographic borders is speaking “Woman” to the woman inside women. That means turning on her brain, her feelings, her psychology as well as her body. Noise and talk is a great way to do this.
However, I agree with you that speaking “Woman” also includes gauging each INDIVIDUAL woman, as well as gauging the same woman moment to moment… the same woman’s moods change so much from moment to moment. In that regard, I like your style a lot. If you’ve got a woman saying “I want to cream all over your blanket,” you’re definitely doing something right. Major props.
Thanks again for comments and for stopping by, Joe.