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Fashion Dos and Don’ts

**EXCLUSIVE** Australian model Sophie Turner seen leaving her hotel and heading to judge the Cambridge Style Week in Cambridge, England

Australian model Sophie Turner leaving her hotel and heading to judge the Cambridge Style Week in Cambridge, England.

To attract a Sophie Turner, we need our fashion to be in gear. Right?

It’s funny ’cause, as you and I know, attraction works differently for women. If a woman’s hot enough, she could be wearing the tackiest outfit from OK! Magazine and we’d still want her.

Not so for a woman.

A guy could be six feet tall, have perfect teeth, eight-pack abs, but if he’s wearing white socks with black shoes, she’ll instantly be like, “um no.”

So, to attract a Sophie Turner, we NEED to have our fashion in gear.

Now, fashion isn’t the whole story when it comes to attracting chicks. Of course not. But it IS a fundamental. Clothes sends a message about ourselves before we open our mouths. One of them being: “if his fashion is together, he must be together. He’s got status.”

Women DO judge a book by its cover. It’s helpful to have an attractive cover.

But if you’re anything like me, you’re not huge into fashion. For the longest time I had zero interest in it. Thought it was unmanly. That’s about the time I also had zero success with women. Since I learned pickup, I learned  improving your fashion doesn’t make you any less of a man. Just the opposite. Makes you more of an adult man.

Think James Bond. Is he unmanly? Course not. Yet he’s got his fashion in gear.

Before I share with you what I’ve learned about fashion let me say: I’m no fashion god. But learning these Dos and Don’ts have been SUPER helpful to me. So, of course I wanted to pass them along to you, too.

Again, the benefit of following these guidelines: you’ll feel more confident. And it attracts women before you open your mouth.

Okay, here they are:

::: DON’Ts :::

1. Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit right.

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Don’t wear clothes that are too baggy. Wear clothes that show your shape. Even get rid of clothes that fit ALMOST right. Keep clothes that fit EXACTLY right.

2. Don’t button your shirt all the way up.

Button all the way up looks nerdy. Not to mention stuffy.

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Martin Short showing us what happens when we button all the way up. Not the best look in the world.

3. Don’t unbutton your shirt too far down.

Unbutton too far down, like douchey. And like Tom Jones.

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Don’t unbutton your shirt too low either. Good rule of thumb to follow: Don’t unbutton more than two buttons.

 

Always leave the top button undone. For a more relaxed look, you can leave the second one undone. But don’t unbutton more than two buttons.

4. Don’t tuck in sweaters, T-shirts, or sports jerseys.

If these are your outer layer, don’t you DARE tuck these in. Unless you intentionally want to look ridiculous. The only shirts to tuck in are button-down shirts. We’ll talk more about when to tuck these in, in the DOs section.

5. Don’t wear Sneakers.

Shoes and Boots are better than sneakers. Some sneakers are okay, like Diesel or Puma. But stick to shoes and boots. They look more masculine.

6. Don’t wear Sandals.

Plastic flip flops are a no-no. High-end sandals are okay in places like Florida or Hawaii. Otherwise sandals are a no-no. Girls don’t like seeing guys’s ugly toes. On a related note, absolutely DO NOT wear socks… especially white socks… with sandals. This screams “Goober.”

7. Don’t wear anything that hangs from the waist.

Sweaters, cellphone holsters, fanny packs, clip-on chains…

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Lord have mercy!

 

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*gulp*

 

Uuuuugly. They’re aesthetically DISpleasing.

8. Don’t wear shorts.

Looks like a high school kid. They’re not manly. Wear shorts only at the beach or if you’re playing sports.

9. Don’t wear Khakis/Cotton dockers/Pleated Pants.

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These scream “Mr. Nice Guy.” There’s no edge to them. Jeans are the best things to wear at a bar.

10. Don’t wear pants that have a sagging crotch.

It looks sloppy. And you look like an old man.

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Beware the sagging crotch.

 

Wear pants that FIT.

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Jeans with no sagging crotch. Much better.

 

11. Don’t wear free T-Shirts from advertisers and businesses.

These make you look cheap… like you’ll wear whatever you get for free.

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Um, no.

 

And they make you look like a billboard. It also kinda says you lack your own personality. Don’t do it.

12. Don’t wear T-Shirts with Vulgar Sayings and Negative Connotations.

These messages associate you with seventh grade humor. And they send a negative message about you before you’ve even opened your mouth.

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Seriously?

 

Don’t do it. Please.

13. Don’t wear the same color head to foot.

Variety of color pleases the eye. Don’t go monochrome.

14. Don’t wear white Socks with Black Shoes.

Match your sock-color to your pants-color. Michael Jackson got away with white socks and black shoes because he wanted to draw attention to his feet when dancing. If you don’t have Michael Jackson’s dance moves… at the very least… wear black socks with black shoes.

::: DOs ::: 

1. Make sure your clothes fit.

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Again, wear clothes that show your shape.

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This communicates you’re a sexual person. And that you’re sexually comfortable.

2. Always look your best.

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Joe Manganiello (from “True Blood”) looking his best.

 

Even if you’re going grocery shopping. You never know when you’re going to run into a woman you want to attract. Plus it does something to your confidence when you look your best.

3. Evaluate yourself in the mirror before going out.

Make sure there’s no lint. No bulges in pocket. Clothes are ironed. Also… nose hairs are trimmed. Haha

4. Wear things that have no purpose.

Like jewelry, hats, wristbands.

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Johnny Depp sporting items of clothing that serve no purpose, like his wrist band, ring, and handkerchief. His hat is also more for ornamentation.

 

This is what Brad P calls “sexual ornamentation.” (See his excellent ebook “Brad P’s Fashion Bible” for more.) This relates to the next item…

5. Wear at least one interesting piece of clothing, no more than two.

Have a showpiece in your outfit.

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The blazer and scarf are examples of show pieces.

 

The idea is if you have the COURAGE to stand out. Learn from the peacock.

Examples:

  • Necklace.
  • Ring.
  • Wristband.
  • Earring.
  • Cool coat.
  • Crazy hat.
  • Cool glasses.
  • Unique button-down shirt.
  • Funky shoes.
  • Scarf.
  • Unique belt.
  • Tie.

They grab your attention. They’re unusual. They show boldness of attitude. Adventurousness. Fearlessness. Standing out from the crowd. Sometimes they make you stand-out so much that women approach YOU. That takes care of the most challenging parts of the pickup. Nice!

WARNING: If you have no showpieces, your outfit will be boring. And you risk blending in. And if you have more than two showpieces, you’ll be too busy. Like this guy below:

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This guy probably has too many show pieces on: sunglasses, wrist band, necklace, scarf, jacket, designer pants. His only supporting piece is the T-shirt. Result: too busy.

 

The eye can focus on so many things at once. Stick to one, two maximum, showpieces.

6. Wear supporting pieces.

Wear supporting pieces. They support the show pieces.

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Johnny Depp’s supporting pieces: T-shirt, jeans, boots.

 

For example:

  • Well-fitting jeans.
  • Good shoes.
  • Plain white T-shirt.
  • Plain belt.
  • Plain jacket.

They’re not meant to grab your attention. They’re high-quality pieces of clothing, but they’re more plain. They’re meant to support the one or two “show” pieces.

7. Colors:

Rule #1– stay away from bright, neon, vibrant colors.

These come off feminine.

Rule #2– don’t wear colors that blend too much with your skin tone.

For example, if you have a dark skin tone, stay away from dark tones. If you have an olive complexion, stay away from olive-colors. If you have pale skin, stay away from pinks, reds, oranges, yellows. Better to have colors that contrast and complement your skin tone.

Rule #3– be aware what color you wear says about you–

  • Red: Dominance.
  • Pink/Peach: Upbeat, calm… by the way, pink is totally acceptable.
  • Black: Authority and elegance.
  • White: Virtue and cleanliness.
  • Blue: Trustworthy and intellectual.
  • Yellow: Alertness and optimism.
  • Burgundy: Passion and luxury.
  • Gray: Class and efficiency…

Gray is also a neutral color, and goes great with a lot of other colors. Black and white are also go with virtually any color, too.

8. Belt.

The simplest rule is this. A belt should match your shoes in color and finish. Shiny shoes demand a shiny belt. Matte shoes demand a matte belt. Black shoes demand a black belt.

And here’s another great rule about taking care of your belt: Belts should always hang vertically. A lot of guys leave belts in their pants. I know I have. If you do, you’ll curve and damage the seams.

One last rule. Don’t wear a shirt tucked in your pants without a belt.

9. Tucked vs. Untucked.

Rule #1– Look at the hem of the shirt. Does it dip or is it straight across?

  • If the hem of the shirt dips in the front, and in the back, the shirt is meant to be tucked in. It’s a business shirt. The dip is there to keep the shirt tucked in.
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See that large dip in the shirt on the right? Shirt’s meant to be tucked in.

 

  • If the hem is straight across, and there’s a split in the side, it’s meant to be untucked. It’s a casual shirt.
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The shirt on the right has a hem with a slight split in the side. You know you can wear that untucked. (The shirt on the left falls too far down the crotch to be left untucked.)

 

  • There are also shirts, like from Express, that can be both tucked AND untucked. The hem has a SLIGHT dip in the front and back, so you can tuck or untuck.
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This is a shirt from Express that can be tucked or untucked. You can tell it can be both by the slight dip in the front and back. 

Rule #2– Does the hem cover most of the crotch?

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  • If the hem covers most of the crotch, it’s too long. Tuck it in.
  • If the hem is less than half-way you can keep it untucked OR tuck if you’d like.

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Rule #3– Do you want to go for a polished look or a casual look?

  • A tucked shirt gives you a polished look.
  • KEEP IN MIND: too polished, you risk looking effeminate. But there IS a time and a place to be polished. For example, formal occasions or first impressions. Here, polished says: “put together.”
  • An untucked shirt gives you a casual look.
  • KEEP IN MIND: casual tends to put people at ease. And a more rugged look makes you look more masculine. There’s also a time and a place for casual, too. Like informal occasions.

OPTIONAL IF YOU GO UNTUCKED: unbutton the top two buttons. Roll up the sleeves no higher than mid-bicep. This’ll give you a cool, casual look.

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Ryan Gosling sporting the mid-bicep sleeve roll. Highly recommended look.(Just don’t roll the sleeves any further than this.)

 

BONUS: Make sure the arm of your shirt isn’t too long or too short. See pic below:

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Rule #4– What’s the rise of your pants? High or low?

  • If the rise of your pants is high, leave the shirt untucked. Unless you wanna look like Urkel.
  • If the rise of your pants is low, it’s safer to tuck.
  • Also, look at the environment you’re going into. If it’s formal, tuck. If it’s casual, it’s safe to untuck. That’s a good decider.
  • I myself prefer untucked because it sends a more relaxed message.

Rule #5– You can tuck and untuck at the same time.

Here’re some pictures to show you what this looks like:

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The tucked/untucked look.

 

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David Beckham killing the tucked/untucked look.

 

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Another prime example of the tucked/untucked look.

10. Socks.

Rule #1– When in doubt, match your socks color to your pants color.

Rule #2– Wear black socks with black shoes.

Purists say to extend socks over calves to prevent your bare leg from being exposed while sitting. It’s not necessary. But avoid wearing tennis socks with shoes.

Rule #3– Wear tennis socks with sneakers.

Visible socks with sneakers make you look like a kindergartener.

Rule #4– Wear NO socks with sandals.

Rule #5– DO wear socks when your toes don’t show.

Foot and shoe moisture attract fungi, viruses, and other bacteria. Socks are good.

11. Workout.

The form beneath your clothes make your fashion pop. So if you’ve got a good body it makes your clothes look better. I wrote a post on how to build muscle and lose fat over here. But a great place to start is p90x or p90x3. Those programs got me in the best shape of my life.

In any event, a great body is universally appealing. It makes you look healthy, sexually ready, and like your life is together.

Muscle is masculine. All of that attracts.

12. Change your wardrobe every 2 years.

Keep up with the times. Styles are constantly changing.

13. Check out these stores.

> Diesel: Good for many sexy stereotypes.
> H&M: Rapidly changing rack. Inexpensive. But falls apart in a year.
> Century 21: Good closeout deals on “label” clothes.
> Express: Stay away from “Modern Fit” shirts (too loose). Go for “Fitted” shirts. You’ll find great styles here.
> Abercrombie: Their muscle shirts will show off your shape well.
> Nordstorm’s: Great prices on sales rack.
> Urban Outfitters: good for supporting pieces
> Bloomingdale’s: Best department store (stay away from JC Penny and Sears. Macy’s is so-so.)

14. Model guys who dress well. 

Pick a movie star you admire and steal his style. Copy it. It’s a great place to start.

::: Things You Can Do Right Now :::

1. Get rid of anything in your closet that doesn’t fit right.

Even stuff the “almost” fits. Get rid of it. Donate them to like Good Will or Salvation Army.

2. Find a movie star you admire.

Choose two or three of his favorite get-ups. Copy it. That is, list the accessories (or “show pieces”) he has on as well as his supporting pieces. Then…

3. Go to a few of the stores I listed above and buy the items on your list.

H&M is an inexpensive place to start. Bloomingdale and Macy’s has a variety of brands and clothing items to choose from. They’re good places to start. Here’re some classic staples to get if you don’t have them already:

Show pieces/accessories:

  • Sunglasses
  • Vest
  • Tie
  • Watch
  • Cologne
  • Hat
  • Jewelry (like necklace or wrist bands)

Supporting pieces:

  • Blue jeans
  • Button down shirt (a white one is a staple)
  • Black shoes
  • Black belt
  • Blazer
  • Black socks
  • White T-Shirt

4. Try on your new style.

The coolest thing is you’ll feel like a new man. If your friends and family give you shit, ignore them. It’s sad, but people we know sometimes try to hold us back… especially when we’re bettering ourselves. It’s their egos at work. Keep experimenting with your fashion and bettering yourself. Don’t let them hold you back.

5. Check out other resources if you need.

HIGHLY recommend Brad P’s “Fashion Bible.” I learned a lot of what I know now from that ebook. Plus I’ve also got more on fashion in my ebook “The Mystery of Women” coming out in the fall of this year (2015), too.

::: Do it! :::

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When a guy gets his fashion in gear, here’s the result. 😉

 

Texting Chicks

texting girl

Ah, the perfect reaction to your text

I’ve got a good-looking friend girls like a lot, and he complained to me about this problem he had texting girls.

He’d meet a girl and the interaction goes great. They wouldn’t have had sex yet, but he likes her and she likes him. In between the first meetup and the second meetup they text. And that’s where things go wrong.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” he said.

“Well, let me see some of your texts.”

He showed me some of them, and here’s how they read:

“How was your day?”

“How are your classes going?”

“How are you doing?”

The girls might text back, and they’ll have a factual back-and-forth. Next thing he knows, she doesn’t text him back, and he doesn’t know what happened.

Let me give you three ideas about texting chicks that I shared with him. When he tried these ideas out, he had girls texting him back and wanting to see him the next day.

1. Avoid factual conversations.

2. Instead, play-fight. By the way, what is play-fighting? Role-playing. What role do you play? You’re the prize and she’s the one chasing you. Push her away… in a make-believe way. Or, at least be a little off-the-wall and absurd about it. This’ll make her laugh, show you’ve got an edge, and it’ll create sexual tension at the same time.

3. Probably don’t need more than 3-5 back-and-forth exchanges with her. Be the first one who’s gone, if you can. Leave her wanting more.

Here are some examples, just to jog your imagination. I want to give credit where credit is due. I learned a lot about how to text from Brad P. I highly recommend his eBook, “How To Talk To Women.”

Here are some suggestions:

“I know you haven’t been able to stop thinking about me, so I figured I’d say hi.”

“Tough love is all you get.”

“One of my friends just got ass implants. I was thinking about getting some. What’s your opinion on that?”

“Stop thinking about me.”

“I’m watching The Notebook and eating a bowl of ice cream. Don’t judge me.”

“Hello beautiful.” (20 seconds later) “Oops, texted the wrong chick.”

“Hey dork/nerd.”

“What’s up creeper?”

“OMG, I just saw this squirrel in the park and it reminded me of you.”

“OMG I saw the cutest thing in a store window today! I was gonna get it for you, but I realized it was my reflection.”

“Last time I saw you, you had a booger and it was going in and out every time you breathed through your nose. Sorry I’m telling you this, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.”

“I want to do it with you. I want to get you hot and sweaty. I want to hear you breathe hard. Do you want to go jogging?”

Now, here’s what you can do RIGHT NOW to try these ideas out: (By the way, I also, found a cool blog dedicated just to this one subject: what to text a girl.)

1) Pick three of your favorite texts from this list.

2) Try them out, and watch how awesome they work.

3) Remember, role-play and make-believe. Like you’re four-years-old playing in the sandbox with her. Rather than being factual, you’re being imaginative. Play the role of the “prize” and make-believe she’s a cutie chasing you. Which means you playfully push her away.

4) You can’t interact with a girl as well on the phone as in person. So, it’s best to get off the damn phone and interact with her in person. Good rule-of-thumb: limit yourself to 3-5 back-and-forth exchanges. And if you can, be gone first.

Go out there and have a blast. ‘Cause it is.

Also, found a cool blog dedicated just to this one subject: what to text a girl.

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She’s texting you back big boy. Nice.

DHV The Group, NOT The Target

Get in the driver’s seat and take the WHOLE group for a fun ride.

I was re-reading parts of The Game, and I had a revelation. When you DHV, don’t DHV to the target. DHV to the guys and to the ugly girls. The target? Ignore her.

Here’s the idea behind this…

Beautiful Women Aren’t Different From Anyone Else

“10”

Let’s talk about beautiful women for a sec. I’m talking about the most UNUSUALLY beautiful women. The 9’s and 10’s. The ones you don’t see everyday, and when you do see one you lose the ability to remember your name.

These women are so outstandingly beautiful that a lot of us guys think we have to treat them differently. We’re either too afraid to talk to them, and just stand by the sidelines and stare… Or we give her all sorts of compliments and buy her drinks and dinner.

As you know and I know, that ain’t gonna work to attract them.

When dealing with these freaks of nature, the thing to keep in mind is… they’re used to getting lots of attention, just because of their physical appearance. They’re used to being treated special because of their physical beauty, and not appreciated for their inner qualities.

On the one hand, it’s lonely being beautiful. No one sees her for who she is. Her beauty creates distance from everyone else.

On the other hand, she also wants to be UNUSUALLY beautiful, and she wants you to know it.

Look at the hours and dollars she spends making herself with makeup, getting her skin soft, smelling good, getting her hair done, choosing just the right outfit, buying the right shoes, obsessing about her weight, removing hair in weird places, even in some cases getting plastic surgery.

Girls spend a lot of time and money looking beautiful

And acting the part of someone with an air of untouchable beauty.

Beauty gives women power. Why? Because their beauty makes a lot of us guys give our “power” away to them.

She wants to be the most beautiful woman in the room, and when we approach her, she wants to reject us. It makes her feel important.

So, the idea is to do the opposite of putting her on a pedestal. You CHALLENGE her.

In the case of Mystery’s  Method, when you approach a group of people that has that INCREDIBLY beautiful woman in it… remember, women are rarely found alone… that means you actually pay attention to everyone else in the group, but her. And if she says anything TEASE her.

The message is: “You’re not getting special treatment from me just because you’re beautiful. You’re a human being just like the rest of us. ”

This creates a HUGE challenge. I mean for her, most guys are just this blur of compliments, sexual predatoriness, or approval-seeking. So when she find a guy who treats her like a human being just like everyone else, he STANDS OUT. He’s the type of a guy she doesn’t come across everyday. She does a double take. She’s attracted.

The Basic Format To All Approaches, By Mystery

Mystery smiling large

So, let me share with you the passage that gave me this revelation. It’s a handout Mystery used to hand out to his workshops. You can see it on page 35 of The Game. It’s his basic format to his all his approaches.

1. Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate–approach instantly.

2. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row.

3. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men.

4. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. Tell her, “It’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.” Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.

5. Convey personality to the entire group. Do this by using stories, magic, anecdotes, and humor. Pay particular attention to the men and the less attractive women. During this time, the target will notice that you are the center of attention. You may perform various memorized pieces like the photo routine, but only for the obstacles.

6. Neg the target, if appropriate. If she wants to look at the pictures, for example, say “Oh my god, she’s so grabby. How do you roll with her?”

7. Ask the group, “So, how does everyone know each other?” If the target is with one of the guys, find out how long they’ve been together.

8a. If it’s a serious relationship, eject politely by saying, “Pleasure meeting you.”

8b. If she is not spoken for, say to the group, “I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?” They always say, “Uh, sure. If it’s okay with her.” If you’ve executed the preceding steps correctly, she will agree.

9. Isolate her from the group by telling her you want to show her something cool. Take her to sit with you nearby. As you lead her through the crowd, do a kino test by holding her hand. If she squeezes back, it’s on. Start looking for other IOIs.

10. Sit with her and perform a rune reading, an ESP test, or any other demonstration that will fascinate and intrigue her.

11. Tell her, “Beauty is common but what’s rare is a great energy and outlook on life. Tell me, what do you have inside that would make me want to know you as more than a mere face in the crowd?” If she begins to list qualities, this is a positive IOI.

12. Stop talking. Does she reinitiate the chat with a question that begins with the word “So?” If she does, then you’ve now seen three IOIs and can…

13. Kiss close. Say, out of the blue, “Would you like to kiss me?” If the setting or circumstances aren’t conducive to physical intimacy, then give yourself a time constraint by saying, “I have to go, but we should continue this.” Then get her number and leave.

Mystery’s negs. From page 35 of “The Game,” by Neil Strauss

Sample Script (Mystery)

You can find all routines here “My Routines Collection.”

1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.

2. Hey did you see the fight outside? (Girl Fight Story)

3. That’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.

4. Multiple thread The Hollywood Sign Story, ESP, and a qualifier to different people:

“Do you have a good imagination? You do? I want you to think of a number from 1 – 4. We’re starting small, that’s why we’re starting with you. That’s right, I said it! Do you have it in your mind? Don’t say it, just think it. The first number that pops into your head. Got it?

“I’m curious about something before we get to that. Is there more to you than meet the eye? I mean, don’t get a big head. There’s a lot of beautiful people around us, right? Beauty is very common. Would you not agree? You know what’s really rare?

“Are you thinking of that number? Focusing? 3. Nice! (or, if incorrect “And that’s why ESP is bullshit.”) Let’s up the stakes (or let’s try it again). Pick a number this time from 1 -10. You got it? Nice.

“Oh, by the way, have you ever been to the Hollywood sign? (You can create your own variation of this story based on something similar to the Hollywood sign in your hometown. For example, everywhere there’s a place where you get away from it all to look at the stars.) Have you ever gone to the base of it? Have you climbed up to it? Well, I went with a lovely girl (preselection switch) at the time and went up to the sign. It takes a good 40 minutes and you have to climb a fence. Next time  you go, bring good shoes that will get you up there with no problem. Because you don’t want to get up there with leather shoes like I did, like a moron. That was my learning experience. But when you’re up there you can see all of Hollywood in one eye shot and it really gives you the clarity that anything is possible if you dream. Then you see it all in one eye shot. It’s inspiring.

“You got that number in your mind? 7. Nice. See, what’s really rare is a great outlook and a great personality, a great energy. That’s rare. You’ve got 2 out of 3. That’s a great start.”

5. So, how does everyone know each other?

6a. Pleasure meeting you.

OR

6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?

7. I want to show you something cool.

8. Kino hand-squeeze test as you lead her through crowd.

9. Have you ever done of The Cube? (The Cube)

10. Stop talking… she reinitiates the conversation.

11. Would you like to kiss me?

12. I have to go, we should continue this. Get her number. (OR Bounce her: Let’s get back to your friends. There’s a great place across the street. We should go with you and your friends.)

Sample Script (Style)

1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds

2. Hey, let me get your take on something. I’ve only got a sec but… (Jealous Girlfriend)

3. Wow, you guys are like from the View. This one I can tell we would NOT get along.

4. Multiple thread Ring Routine, The Best Friend Test, C & U Smiles:

“I have to ask before I run. Do you always wear a ring on that finger? The reason I’m asking is the finger a person chooses to put a ring on says something about their personality. The fact you wear a ring on that finger says something fascinating about you. Let me see your hand. Back in ancient Greece, each mound represented a different god. And a person back then would put a ring on the associated finger to honor that god.

“Oh my God, hold on a sec. How long have you known each other? See I knew that! Well, for one, you have the same exact smile. And for two, well, I’ll just give you the Best Friend Test. Ready? Do you use the same shampoo? (They look at each other first) You don’t even have to answer, you already passed.  You looked at each other before even answering the question. You just did it again. And again. See, if you weren’t close, you’d keep eye contact with me. But when two people have a connection, they make eye contact first, even over something as mundane as shampoo. Nice.

“Okay, so the rings. Very interesting what it says about each of you. The thumb represented Hades, the god of the underworld. He was one of the few gods that lived separate from Mount Olympus, just like the thumb is separate from the other fingers. So, someone who wears a ring on this finger is independent and doesn’t like to follow other people’s trends. Instead, they like to make their own.

“The index finger was Zeus, and he was the king of the gods. And just like when a mother is scolding their daughter (act this out), someone who wears a ring on this finger has an inclination to take charge.

“The middle finger was Dionysus, the god of wine and partying and having a great time. And just like this finger represents something that’s not G-rated, someone who wears a ring on this finger has a little bit of a wild side. So, watch out for her. She’s trouble.

“Haha. Smile for me again? You have a U Smile! That’s awesome. Well there’s U smiles and C smiles. The U Smile is when you smile and your teeth go straight back into your mouth like a horse. And the C Smile is when you smile and all you see is a row of pearly whites in the front. If you ever look on the cover of like Cosmo or Glamour, the girl always has a C Smile. You have a U smile, but don’t worry, I still think you’re hot… in that short school bus sort of way. *smile*

“So, the ring finger is one of the coolest. This was Aphrodite, the goddess of love. And you can look this up, it’s true. This finger is the only one that has a vein that goes straight to your heart without branching off. (demo line going from finger to her heart). So anyone who wears a ring on this finger is actually making a direct connection with their heart. That’s why to this day we’ll wear our wedding ring on this finger.

“Finally, the pinky finger was Ares, the god of war. And you’ll notice a lot of mobsters will wear their ring on this finger. Someone who wears a ring on this finger has some inner turmoil or conflict within. They like to fight. And if you had given someone a pinky ring back then it mean ‘fuck you’ or ‘go to hell.’

“And for someone who doesn’t wear rings, like me that meant you were aligned with Hermes. He was one of the most mischievous of the gods. And he was the one that flew from Mount Olympus to earth. So, someone who doesn’t wear rings is open-minded, loves to travel, likes to be helpful, but has a little bit of a mischievous side. And that’s definitely me. But your personality is… Any truth to that? Pretty cool, right? You guys are awesome.”

5. So, how do you all know each other?

6a. Pleasure meeting you.

OR

6b. I’ve sort of been alienating your friend. Is it all right if I speak to her for a couple of minutes?

7. I want to show you something cool. Have you ever done the Cube? (You could also do EV or Secret Self here too)

8. Beauty is common.

9. Stop talking.

10. Evolution Phase Shift Routine.

11. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her and her friends

Sample Script (Brad P)

1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.

2. You look familiar. Do you like horses? (Tell the story to the whole group)

3. Do you mind if I talk to your friend for a sec?

4. Have you ever had your palm read? (Brad P’s Palm Reading)

5. Beauty is common…

6. Stop talking

7. On a scale of 1 – 10, how good of a kisser are you?

8. I have to go, but we should continue this… or bounce her

Sample Script (My own)

1. Smile when you enter the room. Open within 3 seconds.

2. I have this rule that whenever I see someone attractive I have to at least say hi.

3. Quit looking at my chest my eyes are up here.

4. You guys seem really cool. My passion in life is writing. Are you passionate? What’s something you guys enjoy doing?

6. I’m making her my new girlfriend. We’re gonna fly to Vegas tomorrow and get married. You can be Catwoman, and I’ll be Batman. It’ll be awesome.

7. Do you mind if I talk to her for a sec?

8. I want to show you something really cool. Someone just did this with me recently. It’s a great, quick way to get to know someone. In fact, a lot of people don’t even know this about themselves. (Use her answer about passion as a springboard to Style’s EV)

9. Beauty is common…

10. Stop talking.

11. Brush hair out of face, and kiss.

12. We should continue this, and get her number… or bounce her.

Conclusion

Next time you go out, try out any of the scripts I’ve given you that’s most aligned with your personality.

When you deliver the DHV, make sure to do it to the ones you’re NOT interested in. Make eye contact with EVERYONE. Your target? Neg her. This allows you to convey your personality and win over her friends. And with the target, the negs/banter/cocky-funny lines create sexual tension and show her you’re that rare man that’s interested more in a woman’s inner beauty than her superficial, external shell.

Very nice.

DHV to the whole group, not to the target.

How to Date Multiple Women

Let’s say you’re getting REALLY great with women. You’ve been going out four times a week for the last eight months, you’ve been keeping track of your approaches, and girls are starting to respond BEAUTIFULLY. They’re laughing, you’re the most interesting guy in the room, and you’re making them chase.

Guess what? You’re going to have a whole new problem on your hands. More than one girl is going to want sex from you.

I know, I know. This is a problem? Haha Well, it’s a QUALITY problem.

For example, let me ask you this question. Is it okay to sleep with more than one woman at the same time?

Hell, yeah.

You object you say? Well, check out my take on the whole subject.

As long as a girl knows you’ve got other women in your life, and she’s okay with that, I see absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with multiple women at the same time.

I’ll say it again. As long as you’re HONEST about the fact that you sleep with other women and she agrees to that condition, how are you being dishonest or unethical about sleeping with other women?

And this goes without saying, but use protection. Of course.

Here’s the other side to this. If you tell a woman you’re going to be faithful to her and you both agree to these terms, then be faithful. Break up with her before you cheat on her.

But if you’re single, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeing multiple women. In fact, it can be a good thing.

I mean, would you buy the first shirt you try on in a store, or would you try on different ones to see which fit best? So, how are you supposed to find a woman who’s right for you if you get into a monogamous relationship with the first woman you sleep with?

Now, the big question is this. HOW do you be honest with a woman that you’re sleeping with other women in a way that doesn’t turn her off?

Excellent question.

And let me just say right here that… not every girl is gonna love the idea. That’s okay. But you’ll be surprised how many girls will be totally okay with it. To make her feel comfortable with it, there’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to go about it.

Believe me, I’ve done the wrong way many times. So, learn from my mistakes. I’m gonna give you six steps to follow. By the way, I learned these from Brad P and Joshua Pellicier, and have field tested them myself. They work.

STEP #1. SOW THE SEED.

Sow the seed in the first ten to fifteen minutes of meeting her. You’ve got a few ways to do this.

Option #1: Banter. Joke about how you’ve got a lot of girlfriends. Or if she’s grabbing at you, tell her to take a number. Or if she says something you like, tell her you’re going to make her your Tuesday girlfriend and if she’s good, you’ll make her your Friday girlfriend (where the real fun is). Come up with your own stuff if you’d like. But play the role of a guy who’s got lots of girls in his life.

She’ll get the message on a subconscious level. Like the old adage goes, jokes have a kernel of truth.

Option #2: Tell stories. You can tell stories about how you’re from out of town, or you can tell an embarrassing story about how you’ve got girls fighting over you (see “Wrong Number” story under the “Funny Stories” section of  “My Routines Collection” for an example).

Option #3. Tell her you’re polyamorous. (credit: Joshua Pellicier) This is probably the best way to go, because it’s the most upfront. No gray areas here. Here’s an example of how that exchange might go:

  • You: “How did your last relationship end?”
  • She: “Oh, he was jealous. It ended. Whatever.”
  • You: “I don’t have that problem anymore because I changed something about the way I’m in relationships now. But yeah… I remember what that was like and it completely sucks!”
  • She: Talks about jealousy, fear, lying, apathy, or selfishness.
  • You: “You know that doesn’t happen in a polyamorous relationship. Have you ever considered just being polyamorous with guys that make you feel that way?”
  • She: “What is polyamory?”
  • You: “Poly means many and amor means love, so polyamory means lots of loves. I have many girlfriends at the same time. They’re free to date who they want, too. And if a girl’s not comfortable with it, I don’t date her. But they all know about each other ahead of time.”

If she’s not cool with it, then you don’t date her.

STEP #2. ANSWER OBJECTIONS.

Here’s some objections you might get and how to handle them. Again, credit goes to Joshua Pellicer for this.

Objection #1: “I could never do that.”

Response: “Hey, it’s not for everyone. But if you ever meet a guy who’s good at it, I highly suggest you try it out. It’s an amazing experience because there’s no relationship drama. A lot of the girls who are dating me are doing it for the first time, and love it. Not a lot of guys know how to do it right, but if you ever run into another one, try it out. It’s fun.”

She: “Okay, yeah, I’ll try that out”

Objection #2: “Are you sleeping with all of them?”

Response: “Well, yeah, most of them. I mean I’m not going to deprive them of sex. But we also have a 100% protection rule. We always use protection. But, yeah, I’m sleeping with most of them.”

Objection #3: “What kind of girl would actually do that?”

Response: “Girls like you that are confident. They’re trying it out for the first time, and are completely comfortable with it.”

Objection #4: “Do they all know about each other?”

Response: “Absolutely. If she’s not comfortable with it, then I don’t date her. I don’t sleep with her, nothing.”

Objection #5: “So you’re cheating then?”

Response: “No. All the girls all know about each other. And they’re all cool with it. You can’t cheat. Everyone is open about seeing other people, so there’s no cheating.”

Objection #6: “So you never want to get married?”

Response: “I definitely do. I’m in a dating phase of my life. But someday I hope I get married. And someday they’ll probably get married and I hope that for them. They’ll leave and that’s okay.”

Objection #7: “What kind of girls are these girls?”

Response: “They’re from all walks of life. There’s a girl who’s from Thailand. There’s a girl who’s studying to become a CNA. There’s a girl who’s a waitress. There’s a girl who’s a real estate agent. There’s a girl who works in a bookstore. There’s a girl who’s a stripper, a hippie, and a teacher. ”

If you don’t have any girlfriends, you can say: “I’m not sleeping with all of them”… and “The girls I’ve dated in the past are from all walks of life.”

STEP 3. ESCALATE QUICKLY. Escalate physically quickly, touching often. Act the role of a seducer, not someone who’s courting her.

But when you escalate, remember to push her away, too. This creates sexual tension. Pull her in and push her away. Logic goes out the door for her. All that’s on her mind is… yum.

STEP 4. REINFORCEMENT.

This step is all-important. Women will believe your actions more than your words. If you say you don’t want a relationship, but then ACT like you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to believe your words. More important than talking about it is ACTING it.

What does that mean?

  • Don’t buy her dinners or do other “courting” behaviors before you sleep with her.
  • Don’t sleep with her more than twice a week.
  • Don’t call her more than twice a week.
  • Don’t email her more than four times a week.

These are guidelines I’ve picked up from Brad P that I’ve been found to be solid.

The more often you see a woman in a week, the more she’ll think she’s your girlfriend even if you say you don’t want one. But the less contact you have with her in a week, the more she’ll believe your words.

Here’s four other reinforcement techniques you can use that I picked up from Pellicier.

#1. Ask her opinion of other girls: “What do you think about that girl?”

#2. Fish for jealousy: “That girl is hot.” If she get jealous, bad sign. She won’t be okay with you sleeping with other girls.

#3. Don’t be available: “Hey, I won’t be available to hang out until Thursday.” If she ever asks you to cancel plans, reinforce polyamory: “Remember this is a polyamorous relationship. I’m still here for you, but on my own terms.” If that doesn’t work, run. You’ve got a jealous girl on your hands.

#4. Don’t build rapport too fast: Get things sexual fast. THEN build rapport. Too much rapport before sex can lead to hurt feelings, confusion or anger. Keep the emotional connection mellow, until later.

STEP 5. SEX.

Give her an amazing sexual experience. Give her orgasms. And she’ll keep coming back for more.

And it’s courteous to sleep with her at least twice. It shows you cared about her experience.

STEP SIX. AFTER SEX.

It’s okay to cuddle and connect with her. But connect like a friend, not a boyfriend. Keep things light with some fun banter, or go into normal conversation or light rapport, not the deep rapport.

DON’T make any plans with her. She can tell you about her problems, ask advice, share what’s going on in her life… but if she starts to talk future stuff, cut it off. Reinforce this relationship is polyamorous.

If you can, let her stay. Have breakfast. If she needs a ride, give her one.

But once she leaves, keep up the search. Don’t get too attached to one person, unless you want a monogamous relationship.

Okay, so those are the six steps.

Pick a way to sow the seed from Step #1 and incorporate it into your stack. Next time you go out, sow the seed within ten minutes. Believe in your bones you’re a catch. Act the part of a man women want. She’ll believe it on an emotional level and she’ll feel attraction. Acting the part of a man with an abundance of women in his life happens to also be THE critical piece to attracting women.

Every man should go through this experience. It raises your confidence and I’ve personally learned so much about myself and about women going through it. Also, when you do find that one good woman, it makes monogamy that much sweeter.

Just remember, when you do go through this, do it in a way that always leaves a woman better off than when you first met her.

How to Practice Pickup

To get better with women, you gotta approach women. It’s the only way to success with women.

What’s that you say? Some men are above that?

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, you’re serious.

Well, lemme tell ya. NO man is born being great at women. The whole concept of some guys just born naturally good with women? Bullshit. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. Buuuuuullshit. EVERYONE has to learn it.

Hanging out with guys who are good with women helps. But the BEST way to learn is going out there and approaching women.

Let me say this again, but in a different way, cause it’s important.

Your best teacher ain’t books or blogs like this one. They might kinda take the place of learning from a guy who’s decent with women. I mean, seeing a guy who’s good with women IN ACTION is better. But your best teacher isn’t even that.

It’s actually getting out there approaching women.

It’s scary. I’ll give you that. Even the guys who are the best with women… man, I don’t think anyone starts out totally comfortable talking to strangers. It’s uncomfortable. But to become an attractive man, that’s what you gotta do. Get good at talking with strangers.

But how?

I’ll give you two plans right here, and right now.

The first plan is a warm up, before going into bars and clubs. In fact, in the first plan, you’re not allowed to go into clubs or bars at all to pick up chicks.

The second plan you will go into bars and clubs. But the objective still isn’t to pick up chicks. It’s just to get a skill. Getting women attracted along the way will just be a cool by product. Haha

Before I give you the two plans, let me give credit where credit is due. Plan #1 comes from Lance Mason’s Pick 101 and Plan #2 is based on Mystery’s Newbie Drill. And they both work like gangbusters.

PLAN #1

STEP #1. Take a 15-30 minute walk everyday for 30 days. Rain or shine, EVERY DAY. Find a park, a street with shops on it, a mall, anywhere that people can be found.

STEP #2. Smile. Smile at everyone. I know it might feel weird at first, but the idea is to practice being friendly. When you see a woman of particular beauty, looking her in the eye and smiling will be a natural.

STEP #3. Say “Hello” to at least one person. It does NOT matter if they say “Hello” back or even look up. Who cares if you get a reaction? Your objective isn’t a reaction. Your objective is simply to be friendly. If they can’t be friendly back, that’s their problem, not yours.

STEP #4. The first woman you see on your walk, stop her to talk. Extend the conversation past hello. You can say something as simple as “Beautiful day.”

Once you say that, you can vamoose. No need to say anything else. Feel free to stay and talk, if things are going great.

STEP #5. Keep a checklist each day. Make a list numbered 1 – 30. Make three columns named: “30 min walk,” “Hello,” and “Conversation.” Check one box if you took a walk, one box if you greeted one person with a “hello,” and one box for stopping a woman and talking with her. If you want, you can just download this tracker I made for you. Plan #1 Tracker

Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back when you’ve got three checks. That’s awesome. Ever notice how we like to be hard on ourselves, forgetting to look at the GOOD we’ve done? Celebrating your victories, however small, creates this positive feedback loop that puts you on the path to success.

Again, don’t worry about impressing anyone. Just 1) smile, 2) be friendly, 3) get comfortable talking with strangers. That’s it. It’s even okay to say something as “boring” as:

“How’s your day going?”

You’re not trying to create attraction. You’re just being open, friendly, and kind to everyone. If a girl has something to do that prevents her from talking, that’s totally cool. Wish her a good day and move on.

What you’ll find–surprise surprise–is people are actually pretty friendly. As Lance once pointed out, even shy people want contact with each other. And most people are polite enough to engage in conversations. Women don’t want to be rude to you, especially if you are genuinely friendly, genuinely good-intentioned, and not trying to trick her.

Do this drill for 30 days. Once you reach the end of your thirty days, you’ll find you’ve just established yourself a great habit, that might just change your life for the better.

You’re ready for plan #2.

PLAN #2

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Once you are comfortable talking to strangers and women, add attraction to the mix. The #1 tool for attraction is BANTER, or what Mystery calls NEGS. Here’s the plan.

STEP #1: Create a stack (a script) that includes 1 Banter line/neg, 1 DHV (a conversation starter), and 1 Qualifier (a question). Go over the stack 5x to get it into your memory.

STEP #2: Practice this stack in the mirror 5x to get your body language good.

STEP #3: Pick 4 nights a week to go out on. Commit to going out on those nights NO MATTER WHAT for at least 90 days. This is like an exercise program.

STEP #4: Make 10 approaches each night using your stack. The first 3 approaches are just warm-ups to get you into a talkative mood. If you don’t get through your stack, it’s okay. An approach can be as simple as “Hey.”

STEP #5: When you get home, keep track of your approaches. What will differentiate a great pickup artist from a good one is the action of keeping track. It helps you to reflect and it keeps you on track.

Here’s how to make a tracker for Plan #2: (If you want you can just download this tracker I made for you, too. Plan #2 Tracker pdf

Make a list and number it 1 – 40. These will be your approaches for one week. Make sure to date the week.

Make seven columns named: “Venue,” “Set,” “Neg,” “DHV,” “Qualify,” “Result,” & “Notes.”

Under “venue,” record where you made your approach.

Under “set” record how many people were in the group you had approached, even if it’s only 1.

Under “Neg,” “DHV,” and “Qualify” check these off if you did them in your set. If things didn’t go well, chances are you didn’t do one of these things.

For “Result,” make yourself a key. Credit goes to Brad P for this. For example, “B” = blowout, “>5” = if the conversation lasted under 5 minutes, and “<5” = if it lasted more than 5 minutes. You can also add stuff like “#” for number close (best way for a # close is simply to say: “You seem really cool. Are you single?”), “K” for kiss close, and so on. Under “Result” keep track of your results.

Under “Notes” jot down any notes, like stuff that went good or stuff you need to improve on. Recognize the mistakes and know what to do better next time, but ALWAYS make sure to celebrate the good, too.

This will add up to forty approaches a week, 160 approaches per month, and 480 approaches in 90 days.  If you keep this up for a year, you’ll have close to 2,000 approaches. You will taste mastery. Guaranteed.

So, right now, make that checklist for Plan #1, and commit to making a daily walk for 30 days. Then start a walk NOW. You’ll see how fun and easy it is. You’re on your way.

Practice is the only way to success with women. All the great pickup artists went through the same exact drills. The cool thing is… after a while, it’s not even about women. It’s about knowing who are more, and becoming your best self.

And that’s what being an attractive man is all about.