To attract a Sophie Turner, we need our fashion to be in gear. Right?
It’s funny ’cause, as you and I know, attraction works differently for women. If a woman’s hot enough, she could be wearing the tackiest outfit from OK! Magazine and we’d still want her.
Not so for a woman.
A guy could be six feet tall, have perfect teeth, eight-pack abs, but if he’s wearing white socks with black shoes, she’ll instantly be like, “um no.”
So, to attract a Sophie Turner, we NEED to have our fashion in gear.
Now, fashion isn’t the whole story when it comes to attracting chicks. Of course not. But it IS a fundamental. Clothes sends a message about ourselves before we open our mouths. One of them being: “if his fashion is together, he must be together. He’s got status.”
Women DO judge a book by its cover. It’s helpful to have an attractive cover.
But if you’re anything like me, you’re not huge into fashion. For the longest time I had zero interest in it. Thought it was unmanly. That’s about the time I also had zero success with women. Since I learned pickup, I learned improving your fashion doesn’t make you any less of a man. Just the opposite. Makes you more of an adult man.
Think James Bond. Is he unmanly? Course not. Yet he’s got his fashion in gear.
Before I share with you what I’ve learned about fashion let me say: I’m no fashion god. But learning these Dos and Don’ts have been SUPER helpful to me. So, of course I wanted to pass them along to you, too.
Again, the benefit of following these guidelines: you’ll feel more confident. And it attracts women before you open your mouth.
Okay, here they are:
::: DON’Ts :::
1. Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit right.
Don’t wear clothes that are too baggy. Wear clothes that show your shape. Even get rid of clothes that fit ALMOST right. Keep clothes that fit EXACTLY right.
2. Don’t button your shirt all the way up.
Button all the way up looks nerdy. Not to mention stuffy.
3. Don’t unbutton your shirt too far down.
Unbutton too far down, like douchey. And like Tom Jones.
Always leave the top button undone. For a more relaxed look, you can leave the second one undone. But don’t unbutton more than two buttons.
4. Don’t tuck in sweaters, T-shirts, or sports jerseys.
If these are your outer layer, don’t you DARE tuck these in. Unless you intentionally want to look ridiculous. The only shirts to tuck in are button-down shirts. We’ll talk more about when to tuck these in, in the DOs section.
5. Don’t wear Sneakers.
Shoes and Boots are better than sneakers. Some sneakers are okay, like Diesel or Puma. But stick to shoes and boots. They look more masculine.
6. Don’t wear Sandals.
Plastic flip flops are a no-no. High-end sandals are okay in places like Florida or Hawaii. Otherwise sandals are a no-no. Girls don’t like seeing guys’s ugly toes. On a related note, absolutely DO NOT wear socks… especially white socks… with sandals. This screams “Goober.”
7. Don’t wear anything that hangs from the waist.
Sweaters, cellphone holsters, fanny packs, clip-on chains…
Uuuuugly. They’re aesthetically DISpleasing.
8. Don’t wear shorts.
Looks like a high school kid. They’re not manly. Wear shorts only at the beach or if you’re playing sports.
9. Don’t wear Khakis/Cotton dockers/Pleated Pants.
These scream “Mr. Nice Guy.” There’s no edge to them. Jeans are the best things to wear at a bar.
10. Don’t wear pants that have a sagging crotch.
It looks sloppy. And you look like an old man.
Wear pants that FIT.
11. Don’t wear free T-Shirts from advertisers and businesses.
These make you look cheap… like you’ll wear whatever you get for free.
And they make you look like a billboard. It also kinda says you lack your own personality. Don’t do it.
12. Don’t wear T-Shirts with Vulgar Sayings and Negative Connotations.
These messages associate you with seventh grade humor. And they send a negative message about you before you’ve even opened your mouth.
Don’t do it. Please.
13. Don’t wear the same color head to foot.
Variety of color pleases the eye. Don’t go monochrome.
14. Don’t wear white Socks with Black Shoes.
Match your sock-color to your pants-color. Michael Jackson got away with white socks and black shoes because he wanted to draw attention to his feet when dancing. If you don’t have Michael Jackson’s dance moves… at the very least… wear black socks with black shoes.
::: DOs :::
1. Make sure your clothes fit.
Again, wear clothes that show your shape.
This communicates you’re a sexual person. And that you’re sexually comfortable.
2. Always look your best.
Even if you’re going grocery shopping. You never know when you’re going to run into a woman you want to attract. Plus it does something to your confidence when you look your best.
3. Evaluate yourself in the mirror before going out.
Make sure there’s no lint. No bulges in pocket. Clothes are ironed. Also… nose hairs are trimmed. Haha
4. Wear things that have no purpose.
Like jewelry, hats, wristbands.
This is what Brad P calls “sexual ornamentation.” (See his excellent ebook “Brad P’s Fashion Bible” for more.) This relates to the next item…
5. Wear at least one interesting piece of clothing, no more than two.
Have a showpiece in your outfit.
The idea is if you have the COURAGE to stand out. Learn from the peacock.
- Cool coat.
- Crazy hat.
- Cool glasses.
- Unique button-down shirt.
- Funky shoes.
- Unique belt.
They grab your attention. They’re unusual. They show boldness of attitude. Adventurousness. Fearlessness. Standing out from the crowd. Sometimes they make you stand-out so much that women approach YOU. That takes care of the most challenging parts of the pickup. Nice!
WARNING: If you have no showpieces, your outfit will be boring. And you risk blending in. And if you have more than two showpieces, you’ll be too busy. Like this guy below:
The eye can focus on so many things at once. Stick to one, two maximum, showpieces.
6. Wear supporting pieces.
Wear supporting pieces. They support the show pieces.
- Well-fitting jeans.
- Good shoes.
- Plain white T-shirt.
- Plain belt.
- Plain jacket.
They’re not meant to grab your attention. They’re high-quality pieces of clothing, but they’re more plain. They’re meant to support the one or two “show” pieces.
Rule #1– stay away from bright, neon, vibrant colors.
These come off feminine.
Rule #2– don’t wear colors that blend too much with your skin tone.
For example, if you have a dark skin tone, stay away from dark tones. If you have an olive complexion, stay away from olive-colors. If you have pale skin, stay away from pinks, reds, oranges, yellows. Better to have colors that contrast and complement your skin tone.
Rule #3– be aware what color you wear says about you–
- Red: Dominance.
- Pink/Peach: Upbeat, calm… by the way, pink is totally acceptable.
- Black: Authority and elegance.
- White: Virtue and cleanliness.
- Blue: Trustworthy and intellectual.
- Yellow: Alertness and optimism.
- Burgundy: Passion and luxury.
- Gray: Class and efficiency…
Gray is also a neutral color, and goes great with a lot of other colors. Black and white are also go with virtually any color, too.
The simplest rule is this. A belt should match your shoes in color and finish. Shiny shoes demand a shiny belt. Matte shoes demand a matte belt. Black shoes demand a black belt.
And here’s another great rule about taking care of your belt: Belts should always hang vertically. A lot of guys leave belts in their pants. I know I have. If you do, you’ll curve and damage the seams.
One last rule. Don’t wear a shirt tucked in your pants without a belt.
9. Tucked vs. Untucked.
Rule #1– Look at the hem of the shirt. Does it dip or is it straight across?
- If the hem of the shirt dips in the front, and in the back, the shirt is meant to be tucked in. It’s a business shirt. The dip is there to keep the shirt tucked in.
- If the hem is straight across, and there’s a split in the side, it’s meant to be untucked. It’s a casual shirt.
- There are also shirts, like from Express, that can be both tucked AND untucked. The hem has a SLIGHT dip in the front and back, so you can tuck or untuck.
Rule #2– Does the hem cover most of the crotch?
- If the hem covers most of the crotch, it’s too long. Tuck it in.
- If the hem is less than half-way you can keep it untucked OR tuck if you’d like.
Rule #3– Do you want to go for a polished look or a casual look?
- A tucked shirt gives you a polished look.
- KEEP IN MIND: too polished, you risk looking effeminate. But there IS a time and a place to be polished. For example, formal occasions or first impressions. Here, polished says: “put together.”
- An untucked shirt gives you a casual look.
- KEEP IN MIND: casual tends to put people at ease. And a more rugged look makes you look more masculine. There’s also a time and a place for casual, too. Like informal occasions.
OPTIONAL IF YOU GO UNTUCKED: unbutton the top two buttons. Roll up the sleeves no higher than mid-bicep. This’ll give you a cool, casual look.
BONUS: Make sure the arm of your shirt isn’t too long or too short. See pic below:
Rule #4– What’s the rise of your pants? High or low?
- If the rise of your pants is high, leave the shirt untucked. Unless you wanna look like Urkel.
- If the rise of your pants is low, it’s safer to tuck.
- Also, look at the environment you’re going into. If it’s formal, tuck. If it’s casual, it’s safe to untuck. That’s a good decider.
- I myself prefer untucked because it sends a more relaxed message.
Rule #5– You can tuck and untuck at the same time.
Here’re some pictures to show you what this looks like:
Rule #1– When in doubt, match your socks color to your pants color.
Rule #2– Wear black socks with black shoes.
Purists say to extend socks over calves to prevent your bare leg from being exposed while sitting. It’s not necessary. But avoid wearing tennis socks with shoes.
Rule #3– Wear tennis socks with sneakers.
Visible socks with sneakers make you look like a kindergartener.
Rule #4– Wear NO socks with sandals.
Rule #5– DO wear socks when your toes don’t show.
Foot and shoe moisture attract fungi, viruses, and other bacteria. Socks are good.
The form beneath your clothes make your fashion pop. So if you’ve got a good body it makes your clothes look better. I wrote a post on how to build muscle and lose fat over here. But a great place to start is p90x or p90x3. Those programs got me in the best shape of my life.
In any event, a great body is universally appealing. It makes you look healthy, sexually ready, and like your life is together.
Muscle is masculine. All of that attracts.
12. Change your wardrobe every 2 years.
Keep up with the times. Styles are constantly changing.
13. Check out these stores.
> Diesel: Good for many sexy stereotypes.
> H&M: Rapidly changing rack. Inexpensive. But falls apart in a year.
> Century 21: Good closeout deals on “label” clothes.
> Express: Stay away from “Modern Fit” shirts (too loose). Go for “Fitted” shirts. You’ll find great styles here.
> Abercrombie: Their muscle shirts will show off your shape well.
> Nordstorm’s: Great prices on sales rack.
> Urban Outfitters: good for supporting pieces
> Bloomingdale’s: Best department store (stay away from JC Penny and Sears. Macy’s is so-so.)
14. Model guys who dress well.
Pick a movie star you admire and steal his style. Copy it. It’s a great place to start.
::: Things You Can Do Right Now :::
1. Get rid of anything in your closet that doesn’t fit right.
Even stuff the “almost” fits. Get rid of it. Donate them to like Good Will or Salvation Army.
2. Find a movie star you admire.
Choose two or three of his favorite get-ups. Copy it. That is, list the accessories (or “show pieces”) he has on as well as his supporting pieces. Then…
3. Go to a few of the stores I listed above and buy the items on your list.
H&M is an inexpensive place to start. Bloomingdale and Macy’s has a variety of brands and clothing items to choose from. They’re good places to start. Here’re some classic staples to get if you don’t have them already:
- Jewelry (like necklace or wrist bands)
- Blue jeans
- Button down shirt (a white one is a staple)
- Black shoes
- Black belt
- Black socks
- White T-Shirt
4. Try on your new style.
The coolest thing is you’ll feel like a new man. If your friends and family give you shit, ignore them. It’s sad, but people we know sometimes try to hold us back… especially when we’re bettering ourselves. It’s their egos at work. Keep experimenting with your fashion and bettering yourself. Don’t let them hold you back.
5. Check out other resources if you need.
HIGHLY recommend Brad P’s “Fashion Bible.” I learned a lot of what I know now from that ebook. Plus I’ve also got more on fashion in my ebook “The Mystery of Women” coming out in the fall of this year (2015), too.
::: Do it! :::
Excellent article. I am 40years of age and, I think the ‘Tom Ford attire’ suits my look. What do you think?
You can’t go wrong with the Tom Ford attire. Classic look. Especially for the sophisticated kind of guy. Thanks for writing in and for the comment man. Much appreciated.
Really nice article. It was short and to the point … very practical :). I especially found the section “tucked vs untucked” very helpful and there was new stuff that I could learn.
It was amusing to read some of the beginer mistakes that I used to do before I got into the community.Like wearing clothes that don’t fit (especially too big) or button the shirt all the way up. Now it would just feel weird and uncomfortable to do so.
I was suprised to see H&M on the list of shops that you recommend, i used to check out this store several times (since it’s inexpensive), but I had a hard time finding anything good in there. It’s hard to explain, but I percieved their clothes as a bit douchy and unmasculine. Diesel on the other hand looks much more appealing for me, even though much more expensive :P.
Agreed… Diesel is probably a better store. But H&M recycles trendy clothes at such a low cost. Like you said, it’s inexpensive, which I like. And I’ve found stuff that isn’t douchy as well as stuff that’s stylish and masculine. It may not be my top choice store, but the prices are good and I still think a guy can find some stylish things in there.
By the way, thanks for the comment. I’m glad you corroborated most of the stuff on this list. And I learned a lot from writing that “tucked vs. untucked” section myself!
You seem to write long articles that act as complete guides on an issue. This is great. But people like me want constant content – at LEAST on a weekly basis. Perhaps you could accomplish this by writing smaller but waaaaaay more frequent articles.
This is a FANTASTIC tip. I’ll keep this in mind. Thank-you much.