Author Archives: renaissan

AMOGs, Shit Tests, and Bitch Shields, Part III

Leave a reply

tumblr_mc0ch4IdGd1qzlro6o1_1280

The best way to be an AMOG? Treat everyone with respect and kindness.

This is actually how Mystery AMOGs. He doesn’t try to tear people down to make himself feel better. He lifts everyone else up.

And guess what happens when you do that? Naturally you put yourself into a leadership role. Hostility is not necessary for dominance.

First and foremost, treat everyone with respect. See the best in people. Make them feel important. People will be cool with you in return. You’ll make friends rather than enemies.

If that doesn’t work it’s onto Plan B.

The basic idea behind Plan B (again): Don’t accept the negative frame. Replace it with a positive one.

Here are some examples. I’ll start with AMOG situations (dealing with guys) and I’ll end with Shit Tests and Bitch Shields (dealing with girls).

There’s three basic categories of technique in either situation. “Ignore,” “Meta-frame” and “Agreeing, but Reducing to the Absurd.”

AMOGs:

1. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

Ignore. Don’t even respond. Just keep talking about what you were talking about.

2. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“Cool man. Anyway.”

Less is more. Still under the “Ignore” category. The more attention you give to him, the more power you give to him. So, give the least possible attention, the least possible words, the least possible reaction.

3. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“That was weird. Anyway…”

Here, you stand outside their frame, judging it from a higher place. A “meta” frame. You don’t accept his frame. You see it as weird.

4. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“This guy you can dress him up, but you can’t take him anywhere.”

Another example of a “meta” frame. Again, notice how you don’t accept his frame. You step outside it and see it from a higher position. You see it as a social violation.

5. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“Yep. Doesn’t she have great taste?”

Here you actually agree with the frame but exaggerate it. The exaggeration makes his frame absurd. The technique is also known as “Yes and…” You simply agree, then exaggerate it. By doing this you’re showing his frame to be ridiculous. You’ve destroyed it with humor.

6. “Is that design on your shirt a sphincter? Man, you’re going to need somebody to protect you, mate. You’re going to have all the guys into you.”

“Dude, that’s why I rolled up on you. I need you, man. Help me, please, man. I look at you, and I just know that you were born to protect my sphincter.”

Another example of agreeing with the frame and exaggerating it to the absurd.

SHIT TESTS AND BITCH SHIELDS:

1. “Do women even like you?”

“Oh my God, you are so cute. Look at you trying to give me shit.”

Eeeeeeeeverything she does is cute. Everything. When you put a label on someone, you don’t accept their negative frame. You interpret theirs another way: her being cute. This is a type of “meta” frame.

The other advantage of specifically calling her “cute”: it creates sexual tension. Sexual tension comes from being dominant, and her being “cute.” In other words, you being masculine, she being feminine.

2. You’re talking and the girl gets all distracted.

“Hey ADD, party’s over here.”

Again, putting a label on someone interprets them in your own way. The frame goes from “you’re not very important” (her frame) to “she gets easily distracted” (your frame). You’ve stepped outside her negative frame using a “meta” frame. Nice.

3. “What kind of shirt is that?”

“Do you always wear that lipstick? Anyway…”

You’re not even answering her frame. You come up with your own. You’ve “Ignored” hers.

4. “You’re a stupid piece of shit. Get the fuck away from me!”

“That was weird.”

OR

“Wow, that was rude.”

Same kind of “meta” frame from above. Instead of playing into her negative frame, you see it from a higher position of judgment: her being completely rude.

Another way to deal with extreme rudeness:

“Oh I get it. You probably act like this all the time, and you probably get away with it too. I don’t buy it. I think that you act like a bitch and you convince people you’re a bitch but really you’re a sensitive person. I know that you’re really a nice person but you have to act this way because a lot of dorks hit on you.”

Credit: Brad P. Here you reinterpret her bitchiness in a positive way. You turn a negative frame into a positive one. Another “meta-frame.”

5. “You’re short.”

“Yes I am. Great things come in small packages.”

Agree and replace her negative insinuation with a positive one. Your positive frame is now in charge.

6. “Do you say this to all the girls?”

“Yes, you’re the 512th person I’ve said this to today.”

Agree and exaggerate.

7. “Does this make me look fat?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything.”

Agree and exaggerate.

8. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Maybe he can make us breakfast in bed.”

Agree and exaggerate.

OR

“That’s cool. I have an uncle that has 5 cats. 4 blue ones and 1 red one. He dyed them blue and red. You should check it out sometime. Anyway…”

Agree and exaggerate… take it to the absurd.

9. “Will you buy me a drink?”

“I’d be happy to. But let me get to know you better first.”

Agree, but replace with your own frame. You’re not the stereotypical guy who thinks he has to buy girl’s attention (her frame). Your frame is we’re two human beings. Let’s focus on that first before getting money involved.

By the way, you can do this technique with any other demand she might place on you. In other words, rather than blindly jump through her hoops, let her jump through yours first. Then you can go through hers. That way it’s even. You’re not rewarding potentially spoiled, princess behavior. She gives and you give. For example:

“Sure, but before I do that, give me at least one compliment.”

10. Let’s say she’s giving you bad behavior and she doesn’t respond to a more good-humored response. Then factually point out what she did, and tell her you won’t stand for it:

“This is what you did. This is not cool with me. If this behavior doesn’t change, I’m gone.”

You don’t accept her frame where she thinks she can get away with whatever she wants because she’s hot. Stand outside of her self-absorbed frame, a “meta” frame, and call her on her shit… respectfully. If her behavior still doesn’t change, walk away. You’ve got bigger fish to fry. As a byproduct, this can actually create attraction… while halting bad behavior at the same time.

And that’s about it.

Each technique “Ignore,” “Meta-frame,” and “Agree to the Absurd” has this in common: they disregard a negative frame and replace it with a positive one. Never think you have to accept people’s negative frames. They are mere interpretations of reality, not reality itself. You can always create your own frame… and get things back to reality.

This way you stand up for yourself, but in a way that still treats people with respect.

AMOGs, Shit Tests, and Bitch Shields, Part II

Leave a reply
Create a Frame of your own: the key to handling AMOGs, Shit Tests, and Bitch Shields

Disacknowledge the negative frame and paint your own.

Dealing with AMOGs is kinda like dealing with a computer program with a bad virus. Would you want to play in a virus-infected program?

Hell no!

Same with AMOGs, Shit Tests, and Bitch Shields.

Don’t play into the frame. Shut it down. And replace it with a better one.

For example, someone says “Hey nice shirt. Did you get that in high school?” If you say yes you’re playing into his frame. And if you say no, you’re playing into his frame. Why say yes or no at all? Fuck that shit. Create your own frame that doesn’t make you look like an asshole.

“This guy, you can dress him up, but you can’t take him anywhere.”

See how you don’t even bother answering “yes” or “no”… which plays in his frame… but replace it with something else entirely? The frame you replace his with: this is a guy with no social acuity.

But you also do this with good-humor. Never to harm, hurt, or destroy. Otherwise you look pissy and rude and like a big baby. You say this with a smile on your face.

It’s like dealing with your own negative thoughts. No need to beat yourself up over having them. And for God’s sakes, no need to let the negative thoughts take you over either! Simply recognize you’re having negative thoughts. See they’re not real. Then replace them with positive thoughts, or reality.

So, step one: recognize the words that are coming from the AMOGs for what they are. “Thought-viruses.” It’s not reality. It’s bullshit.

Step two: Ignore the “frame.”

Step three: Replace the negative frame with a positive one. If you don’t replace it, the virus will just come back.

That’s it.

Dealing with AMOGs is just a matter of not playing into their negative frame, and replacing it with your own positive one.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, you say. What the hell is a frame?

Great question.

The word “frame” comes from NLP, “Neuro-Linguistic Programming,” a hybrid of hypnosis and psychotherapy invented in the 1970s. It has some great uses, especially for programming your mind for success.

And that’s how the word “frame” fits into NLP.

The book that really clarified the term for me was “Sleight of Mouth” by Robert Dilts.

Great Book. It really clarified the concept of "frame" for me.

Great Book. It really clarified the concept of “frame” for me.

Great read. Highly recommended.

His basic premise was we can program ourselves for failure if we think within a “problem frame.” We can do this in our own thinking, and people can do this to us in order to keep us down. To break free from this “thought virus,” we need to replace this with a higher, “solution frame.” This sets us up for success. The book explores how to do this through language.

There’s a quote in “Hamlet” where Hamlet says, “There’s nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so.” That’s the essence of a frame. We humans are a unique animal. We interpret facts. A frame is an interpretation. It’s a “way of seeing” the world.

The philosopher Wittgenstein said something similar in his “Tractatus.”

Wittgenstein

One of the great philosophers of the twentieth century: Ludwig Wittgenstein 1889 – 1951.

He said value and meaning don’t lie within the world. The world simply consists of facts. Value must reside outside of the world. Value includes things like aesthetics and ethics, but also negative thinking too.

One example of this is snow. There’s nothing inherently good or bad about snow. It’s simply a fact. We put meaning into the snow by thinking it’s either bad or good. Dilt’s point was when we interpret the snow into a frame of “problem” it can set us up for failure. Interpreting snow into a more positive frame has a better chance of setting us up for success.

AMOGs, Shit Tests, and Bitch Shields are simply a negative frame. It’s a power trip. It’s a way of cutting someone else down to make them look superior. But their frame is not reality. It’s a figment of their imagination. You have the choice of accepting it or disregarding it and creating your own.

And if you reveal their power trip for what it is, you almost don’t have to do a thing. Their negative, power-grubbing frame will work against them. It’s so absurd what they’re really doing, it’s actually funny. Dilts calls stepping out of the frame to reveal what it is a “meta-frame.”

You can also preempt from all this happening, too.

How?

Treat everyone with respect and kindness. This keeps a positive frame. Be cool with people, make ’em feel important, often they’ll be cool with you.

If that doesn’t work, go to Plan B: disregard the frame and replace it with your own.

Again… HOW?

Either step outside the negative frame and call them on their shit… the “meta-frame”…

Or agree and reduce it to the absurd.

I’ll give you some examples in the final part of this article.

Video: Art Williams “Just Do It”

Leave a reply

I just came from a business conference in Miami. It was fantastic. They showed this video. I had to share it with you. It’s something I’m still learning from, and it’s this. You can do anything you want. Stop talking about it and dreaming it. Just do it.

A Recipe For A Day 2

Leave a reply

314029_2997882605901_583325311_n

Let’s say you’ve got a girl over your place for a Day 2. Here’s a recipe you can use to cook her dinner. You don’t have to be a chef to cook this… God knows I’m not. It’s SUPER easy, costs very little, is healthy, and delicious. Oh yeah, she’ll love you cooked for her.

“Grilled Salmon”

Step 1. Get 2 6-ounce cuts of salmon, Extra Virgin Olive Oil Cooking Spray, lemon pepper, instant rice (or 2 potatoes), and fresh spinach (or asparagus or broccoli).

Step 2. Prepare the salmon by sprinkling lemon pepper over it.

Step 3. Spray your pan with Cooking Spray

Step 4. Grill the salmon for 10 – 15 minutes.

Step 5. Nuke the instant rice (OR each potato–to do that rinse ’em first, poke each with holes so they don’t explode, and they should take between 4-6 minutes EACH (8-12 minutes together) depending on the wattage of your microwave and how big the potato is… if your fork goes 1/2 way in easily it’s done; OR cook the instant rice in a pot–follow the easy directions… usually takes 5 minutes)

Step 6: Cut up the spinach (or asparagus or broccoli)

Step 7: Steam the veggies or sauté them with the cooking spray (takes a couple of minutes)

Step 8: Set the table with forks, knives, napkins, candle, wine glasses, and bottle of white wine. Have some soft music playing in the background.

Step 9: Serve the salmon, rice, and spinach with white wine.

The meal should take about 15 minutes or so to make.

Have a wonderful dinner and enjoy her jumping your bones afterwards.

You’re welcome.

Lessons from Tucker Max

Leave a reply

tucker-max

I’ve been reading “Hilarity Ensues” by Tucker Max, and I came across something that my brain really grabbed hold of, and I had to share it with you. It’s about the aha moment that helped him become more successful with women:

“Before I got to Cancun, I’d gotten my little pencil wet plenty of times, so I thought I knew how to get girls and I thought I understood women. I didn’t. Cancun taught me that all my assumptions were completely, totally wrong.

I got laid and had fun before I went down there, but only in spite of myself, not because I knew what I was doing. Cancun taught me the two big life lessons that have guided me since, the two things I always tell people when they ask for life advice:

1. Be honest: I wasn’t really a liar back in America, but I was no different than any other young stupid guy trying to get ass; I thought you had to “convince” or “persuade” women to fuck you, and it was their job to kinda resist and make you work for it.

In Cancun, doing anything other than being direct and telling the truth was a complete waste of time. In Cancun, everyone let loose and did the things they wanted to do–getting drunk, fucking, being a little reckless–but were afraid to do in America. They felt safe letting go because it was Mexico; as if it didn’t count down there. Girls wanted to fuck, and here, as opposed to America, they were honest about it. Complete honesty worked way better than telling girls what you “thought they wanted to hear.”

But it was more than that. Being honest wasn’t just about telling the truth and being direct to girls–it was also about being honest to myself, and owning everything about who I was. I wasn’t looking for anything serious in that point in my life, I just wanted to get drink and fuck a bunch of different girls. Once I figured that out and admitted it to myself–which I hadn’t done in America, but did do in Cancun–everything changed. By being honest with myself about what I wanted, it freed me up to be honest and direct with girls… and as a result, I got way more pussy with much less effort.

2. Don’t worry about results, just have fun: There were so many girls in Cancun, it was hard not to get laid. Because I knew I had pussy locked down basically any time I wanted it, I stopped worrying about it. I didn’t stop caring whether I got laid or not, but I did stop caring about any specific girl. By releasing my desire for any specific girl, no girl’s pussy had a hold on me anymore, and as a result I had more fun and was more fun to be around. This took some practice at first–I’m not the fucking Buddha–but when I finally got the hang of it, a miraculous thing happened: I couldn’t beat the pussy off with a stick. Ten times the girls with 10% of the work, all because I just had fun and didn’t care what any specific girl (or person) thought or did.

Once those things combined in me–complete honesty and not caring about the results–the world changed overnight…”

Granted, this is easier said than done.

Honesty. Honest with yourself, about your desires, and honest with her. What’s interesting is, this means you don’t have to hide your desires. I know the Mystery Method is all about the indirect approach, but it’s okay to be honest with her. In fact, this is the way to be with her, with everyone, with yourself.

And not caring whether you get laid or get attraction, or get approval from her, but doing the right thing… HUGE.

I’m still working on all this stuff. It’s stuff that’s been changing my life. And it’s THE stuff that has helped me–and still helps me–be more successful with women. But as a byproduct, not the goal.

It’s paradoxical. Who cares if you get girls? That attitude attracts ’em. But honest-to-God, not care if you get her. Women aren’t the highest thing in this world. They don’t decide your worth. They’re human beings like you and me. Women aren’t #1. Reality is.

“Four Things Women Must Have,” By David Shade

Leave a reply

tumblr_lso08ssUlu1qzjc1ro1_500

“First, she needs to feel appreciated for the unique individual that she is. She needs to feel special, unlike any other woman, and she needs to know that her man supports her in her endeavors.

Second, she needs to feel that deep, intimate emotional connection. She needs to have that emotional intimacy with her man. It’s a connection she shares only with him.

Third, she needs to feel like a woman. She needs to feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine. She needs to enjoy all those things that come with being a woman.

Finally, she needs hot, passionate sex. She needs to be seduced, enticed, teased, and satisfied, over and over again. She needs to experience new things, in new ways, including fantasies and roles. It makes her feel desired, affirmed, and alive.”

– David Shade, “The Secrets of Female Sexuality,” p. 51.

I would add a fifth. She needs to laugh and play. She needs to feel positive feelings. Laughter and positive feelings are the feeling of love. At the heart of it all, a woman wants to give and receive love.

This fifth thing is what A2 is all about… when you banter with her, tease her, and laugh together.

The first thing, “she needs to feel appreciated for the unique individual that she is” comes during A3 after you’ve qualified her.

The second thing, “she needs to feel that deep, emotional connection” is what the comfort phase is all about. It’s about creating an emotional connection with her, developing emotional intimacy.

The third thing, “she needs to feel like a woman… beautiful, sexy, and feminine” is what the seduction phase is all about. During foreplay (S1) and Last Minute Resistance (S2) you make her feel desired, beautiful, sexy, feminine. In fact, foreplay isn’t just the physical stuff like feeling up her tits. It’s making her feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine all day… even with a simple text message or the way you look at her.

The fourth thing, “she needs hot, passionate sex” is what S3, sex, is all about.

Everything a woman must have is embedded in each phase of the pickup process. Practicing the process can help us learn how to be more successful with women in general.

Qualification

Leave a reply
tumblr_m2rzbzRw371rrfiebo1_500

Let her bend over backwards. Then appreciate her.

Qualification is so important it’s not even funny.

Tell me if you’ve ever been in this situation. You’ve got a girl giggling, she’s facing you, and she’s touching your arm. She’s attracted to you. And you’re panicked.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

I’ll tell you what I’ve done in the past.

EITHER…

Self-conscious. “Holy shit, she’s actually attracted to me? But I’m not really that attractive. What if I screw things up?” All of a sudden I’d feel my body getting all stilted and unnatural, and guess what? She’d lose interest in me. And I’d kick myself in the ass for being such a loser.

OR…

PSYCHED! “She likes me? Nice! Might as well show my interest in her, too.” And I’d say something like “I like you a lot, too. Let’s get together.” She’d STILL lose interest in me. And I’d be scratching my head. What did I do wrong this time?

Well, I’ll tell you what went wrong. I stopped being any sort of a challenge. When in doubt, if you’ve ever got a girl’s interest… or you’ve been doing good and don’t know what to do next, here’s what to do:

QUALIFY HER!

Once again, it was Mystery that I learned this all-important piece of wisdom from.

Here’s the reason.

Women get attracted differently than we do. They’re attracted more to PERSONALITY. We’re attracted more to looks. As long as a woman is hot enough, she might do something silly, whatever, we’d still want to sleep with her.

Not so with women.

If you make some social goof-up, let’s say you wear white socks with black shoes, often she’ll lose attraction for you. She’ll be like “what’s wrong with him?” Or, “what’s that say about him?” Or, “God, he must have really low social status.” Looks aren’t #1 for them like they are for us.

So, let’s say you’ve attracted her by being a bit of a challenge. For God’s sakes, don’t stop! Keep being a bit of a challenge. How?

Qualification.

The reason goes even deeper than that.

Attraction is a two way street. You’ve worked to attract her. Well, your job is only half done. Now, she’s got to work to attract YOU.

Let her do some of the work.

Let her do some of the work.

Showing your interest in her because she’s showing interest in you is NOT a legitimate reason for you to be interested in her, according to her.

Why?

Because it took absolutely ZERO effort on her part to get you. She’ll be like, “Well, that was easy. NEXT!” She wants to actually DO something personality-wise to EARN your attraction to her.

Well, qualification is the way.

It’s actually beautiful when you think about it. The second and third stages of the attract phase are very much brother and sister to each other. They’re mirror images.

First, I’ve got to get the woman attracted to me. Second, I’ve got to reveal I’m becoming more and more attracted to her for LEGITIMATE reasons.

Let me say that another way.

Mystery calls A2, when I get the woman attracted to me, “female to male attract.” The objective is to systematically trigger her 5 attraction switches by DHVing to her group of friends and negging, ie pushing away the target and pulling her in at the same time. The group is like “This guy is cool, funny, interesting.” And the girl is like “have my hot looks lost their super powers?”

Again, you’re a fun, interesting guy with cool topics of conversation. You’re full of good feelings, and… “wait a second,” your target says, “he’s giving me a little shit instead of being up my asshole? This is different.” Play A2 right, and she’ll show indicators of interest to you like asking your name, giggling, and all that great stuff.

It’s SUPER exciting when that happens. Belieeeeeeve me, I know. But my point is, stay cool.

All that good stuff begins A3. A3 is when the woman tries to get me attracted to her. Mystery calls it “male to female attract.” The objective is for you to encourage her… ENTICE her… to bring out the best in her, in such a way that when she DHVs to you, you can then reward her with indicators of interest of your own.

A2 and A3 are exact, perfect opposites. Attraction is a two way street. You DHV first. When she shows her attraction, get her to DHV to you. That way there’s mutual attraction based on SUBSTANCE. She’s earned your interest. It’s not because she’s interested in you.

After all, if you’re interested in her just because she’s interested in you, you leave yourself open to getting manipulated. She might think, “Oh, I see how this all works. If I act all interested in him, I’ve got him wrapped around my finger. I wonder how much I can get away with now.” Nooooooooo!

Even if she shows interest, still be a challenge. QUALIFY HER!

Getting sex from this unbelievably, incredibly hot woman must NOT be #1. You’ve got standards. Who is she as a person? She’s gotta earn your interest based on whether she’s got good substance or not. She’s gotta pass YOUR tests.

That way she’s not just being handed a fish (i.e. your interest in her) for free, but she’s WORKED to reel it in. She’s earned your interest. She’ll value it more that way. People simply don’t value free shit.

There’s an even deeper reason to qualify. And I learned this from a fantastic book called “Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants,” by Elliott Katz. Highly recommended.

Katz observed that we human beings tend to love the people we give to, more than love the people we receive from.

It’s counter-intuitive.

The more you give, for example the more you DHV, DHV, DHV, the more your interest in your target grows. But not necessarily does her interest grow for you. You get more and more invested. But not necessarily does she get more invested.

Well, it’s the exact same thing the other way around. If she can DHV, DHV, DHV to you, the more her interest in you grows. And the more she gets invested.

Sit back and let her DHV for you

Sit back and let her DHV for you. And of course, appreciate her afterwards.

The giving has gotta be mutual.

You can see this with parents. They give and give to their children. But if the children don’t give back, they’ll often resent their parents, take them for granted, or get really spoiled.

And how many times have you seen guys give and give to their woman, pay for all the things she wanted… and wonder why she’s still unhappy?

We guys want to be givers and providers. Believe me, I understand. I’m the same way.

But we’ve got to learn how to let her give to us, too. Not so that we can become takers. But to let her feelings of love grow for us.

And the really gorgeous thing is when she does something for me, I can then show appreciation to her. It ain’t gonna be bullshit appreciation. That’s for sure. Cause she’s actually done something. It’s gonna be SINCERE appreciation.

It’s such an important point, and one I’ve got to remember myself.

Recently, I left my girl a rose and a card while she was sleeping. She’s incredible, and I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her. She woke up the next morning and wrote me this lovely note in return. I was taken aback at first. It reminded me how important it is not just to give, but to receive, too.

So, qualification extends into relationships, too.

It’s okay to ask her to do stuff for you. It’s okay if she buys you a drink. It’s okay if she drives to your place. It’s okay to have her help you with your passion and life’s deepest purpose in some way. It’s okay to tell her to suck your dick.

As long as you give too, there’s nothing wrong with telling her what to do so she can give to you. In fact, make sure to do this. Her doing shit for you increases her attraction for you.

It’s weird how that works, right?

Once again, it’s NOT the more I give to a person, the more they’ll love me. It’s the other way around. We develop feelings of love to the one we’re giving to.

So, even if a girl doesn’t like a guy, just by doing things for him, good feelings towards him will grow. “I must really like this guy,” she might say. She’s investing, she’s gotta backwards rationalize it someway.

A2 is all about you giving. A3 is about receiving. Or, letting her give to you. Once she does, THEN you can state your interest and show appreciation. And now, it’s safe to hit on her.

Qualification is really the art of the compliment.

Moral of all this? Next time she shows interest in you, QUALIFY HER! Like her for LEGITIMATE reasons.

tumblr_m75h5zWoAU1qzlro6o1_1280

She works. She comes to you. Now you can show interest. Magically, her interest in you will grow, too.

Here’s some qualifiers you can use.

  • “Name me three qualities that would make me want to get to know you more than just a hole in the wall.”
  • “What have you got going for you besides your looks?”
  • “Look around you, beauty is common. But what’s more important is a positive outlook, a desire to always grow as a person, and integrity. What are some things about you that would make me want to get to know you better?”
  • “If you could do anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you want to be? And don’t say princess.”
  • “Are you adventurous?”
  • “Are you a passionate person?”
  • “Can you cook?”
  • “Who are you?”

Once she says something of interest you can be like, “No WAY! That’s awesome.”

Make her feel like you like her for legitimate reasons.

Here’s some simple ones.

  • “What’s your favorite incense?… Oh I love Jasmine!”
  • “What’s your favorite food?”
  • “What’s your favorite place to visit? Or, if you you could wake up anywhere in the world, where would it be?”
  • “What DVD would you pop in to have as comfort food for when you’re feeling down?”
  • “If I were to turn on your iPod, what song would I find playing right now? You listen to Tool? I love Tool. Get your ass over here. *Hug* Now get off me. *Release*”

And notice these questions aren’t philosophical or intellectual. The simple ones are tangible, not abstract. But all of em are EMOTIONAL. Keep it emotional. Get her FEELING what you’re feeling. Enthusiasm. Excitement. Interest.

After you qualify, and she’s said something of interest… NOW you can show your interest.

  • “Are you single?”
  • “Wow, you’re pretty cool. We should continue this.”
  • “Oh, I like this one!”
  • “Oh my God, you’re a dancer? That is so awesome. I can’t even talk to you right now.”
  • “You know what? You seem pretty cool. I’m curious about you.”
  • “We have to hang out again sometime!”
  • “That’s it, we’re getting married. We’ll fly to Vegas tomorrow. I’ll dress you up as Catwoman, and I’ll be Batman. It’ll be awesome.”
  • “You have a great energy and such an expressive personality. I admire that.”

Notice these statements have NOTHING to do with her looks. They’re about her personality. Compliment her looks when you get to the bedroom. Before then, focus on her qualities as a human being.

Anyway, all those statements above are called an “SOI” or Statement of Interest. It closes A3 and the attract phase. And it automatically moves you into comfort.

I just want to add one point to all this.

Mystery normally recommends waiting to receive three IOIs (indicators of interest) before qualifying.

If I know I’ve negged or bantered with my target, and I’ve DHVed to the group and their response is positive, I take those as IOIs enough. I cut to qualification right away. I DON’T wait. Otherwise I’ve gotten stuck in DHV land. Not a good place to be.

Whenever I qualify, I always feel this lovely shift in the conversation. It gets deeper. A connection is happening. Qualification is the perfect bridge to creating an emotional connection with her.

Okay, here’s what you can do right now.

1. Pick ONE qualifier you like a lot. Only one. You don’t want a lot swimming in your head. That gets confusing and it paralyzes you. Just pick ONE. Either from the ones I listed here, or from “My Routines Collection.”

2. Memorize it and practice it in the mirror. Now you’ve got it in your back pocket ready to go.

3. Create a stack or script. This stack should include: an opener, a neg/banter line, a DHV, your qualifier, and a statement of interest like “Are you single?”

4. Practice your stack on 10 sets in one night. You don’t have to wait to get interest from a girl to qualify her. You can do it right after you neg/banter and DHV.

5. Once that qualifier feels like it’s in your bones, you can learn a new qualifier. And repeat the process.

Now, you know. Next time you get any interest from a girl… or you don’t know what to do next… QUALIFY HER!

Your success rate will skyrocket. Guaranteed.

382147_3448900001054_1770943213_n

Remember, game’s not over when you get a look like this from her. Keep up the challenge: QUALIFY HER. Then appreciate her afterwards. She’ll want to get to know you better, too.