Apparently, Elliot Rodger (that 22-year-old who went on the killing spree) was a failed pickup artist. He posted on PUAHate. In fact, I’ve heard PUAHate has been shut down because he was posting about taking revenge on women, and guys were cheering him on.
To a certain extent, I can empathize with Elliot. I’ve gotten rejected by women a lot. I’ve felt like an outsider and alone. It feels rotten.
But here’s the big question. What would prevent you and I from becoming an Elliot?
I think it has to do with a huge lesson I learned from Mystery and Neil Strauss. If something goes wrong in an interaction with a woman, it’s never the woman’s fault. It’s always our fault. It’s not that the girl is a bitch or a snob or a slut. She just responds to our skill level. Improve your skill level, watch your success rate improve.
Isn’t that what Jesus taught? Everyone was about to stone that woman for cheating on her husband. He asked them to look at themselves and see their own sin before condemning the sin in others.
Ultimately, that’s what pickup is about. It’s less about “getting” women (although attracting women is awesome). It’s more about looking at yourself in the process to become a better man.
Well, how do you improve your skill level, you ask? Lemme share this quote:
Elliot may have given up, then blamed the outside world for his failures, rather than looking to himself. I can understand his hurt. But blaming seems to blind us, while looking to ourselves wakes us. That’s the big lesson I’m taking from this terrible tragedy.
Defend yourself from shit tests, bitch shields, and AMOGs
Here’s a question for you. You treat others with kindness. But how do you handle people who don’t treat you the same way?
I want to be up front. If there’s an area I really want to improve on, and there are plenty, it’s definitely this. But after thinking about this question, reading what others do, trying out different things, I think I’ve gotten a little better understanding, even though I still have a ways to go. I wanna share what I’ve learned so far with you.
Here’s the basic idea: don’t buy into their erroneous “frame.”
Before I unpack that idea, let me backup and give you a quick background on Shit Tests, Bitch Shields, and AMOGs in general first.
“Shit Tests” and “Bitch Shields” are when women play the superiority role, put you down, give you shit, and disrespect you. They want to see if you can handle them. For if you can’t handle their shit, how are you going to protect them from the world of shit that exists?
AMOG stands for “Alpha Male Of the Group.” It’s a concept that was invented by a pickup artist who goes by the name “Tyler Durden,” a former student of Mystery’s. He named himself after the Brad Pitt character in “Fight Club.”
“Tyler Durden,” a.k.a Owen Cook
Anyway, he’s known as one of the legendary pickup artists, and he shows innovativeness in inventing this concept. The origin of how he came up with the concept was documented by Neil Strauss’s book “The Game,” on pages 235 – 237. The story is kinda interesting. In Tyler’s own words:
“I learned most of this from European naturals while trying to steals sets from them and prevent them from stealing sets from me. The guys here are not pushovers like most guys in North America. Many have game. So I’ve been figuring out how to out-game them.”
Apparently while he was in London doing bootcamps, Tyler would be talking to some girls, and guys would come up to him, totally blow him out, and guess who the girls went to? Exactly. The guys who destroyed him.
So, he started analyzing what exactly they were doing to him. He cracked the code, and used their tactics on them, field testing them hundreds of times, and they worked. AMOGs could no longer destroy him. He called these tactics “AMOG.”
Here’s some examples of the tactics from his own mouth:
AMOG: Hey girls, what’s up. (trying to steal his set)
TYLER: Hey dude (puts his hands up like he gives up), I will pay you a hundred dollars right now if you take these girls away from me.
GIRLS: No, no. We love you! (giggle, crawl all over Tyler, deflate the AMOG)
AMOG: Hey man, keep talking. Let’s hear your pitch. Pick these girls up, man. You’re doing awesome.
TYLER: Hey, you know I’ve gotta try to impress you cool London guys (or “rugby-shirt wearing guys” or “shiny shoes guys” or whatever detail Tyler would gather from a quick look at them and then use that detail against the AMOG to make him feel self-conscious). You guys fucking rock.
AMOG: Is that design on your shirt a sphincter? Man, you’re going to need somebody to protect you, mate. You’re going to have all the guys into you.
TYLER: Dude, that’s why I rolled up on you. I need you, man. Help me, please, man. I look at you, and I just know that you were born to protect my sphincter.
AMOG: (startes touching him to show dominance)
TYLER: Haha dude. I’m not into guys, man. Dude, the gay club is over there. Hands off the merchandise, buddy.
AMOG: qualifying to you he’s not gay.
AMOG: (gets into your face)
TYLER: (silence. Doesn’t respond. Tyler just stands there quietly. As a general rule, Tyler discovered that if a guy keeps trying to out-alpha you and you don’t answer, eventually he looks beta because he is trying too hard to get your attention. Another trick is to make “let’s get out of here” motions with your eyes to your girls. Speaking “girl language” to girls… always a good thing.)
AMOG: (shows signs he wants to fight)
TYLER: Haha dude. Are you like trying to pick a fight with me? haha. Okay, okay. Hold up, hold up. Wait a sec. We’ll do even better. First, we’ll have an arm wrestling competition. Then we’ll do one-armed pushups. And last, pose-down! (Starts flexing) Ladies?
GIRLS: (laughing) Ooh you’re so strong.
AMOG: (tooled because he looks like he’s trying too hard to impress the girls with his physical superiority)
Neil later in the book accused Tyler of worshipping the AMOG concept a little bit too much.
Neil, along with Tyler, were both students of Mystery. Neil and Mystery became best friends. And Tyler went on to use everything Mystery taught him to profit from it. Most pickup artist businesses out there have done the same thing, the founders starting out as students of Mystery then creating their own business based on his ideas. Anyway, Tyler called his business “Real Social Dynamics,” based on a term Mystery invented “social dynamics.” It’s still one of the top pickup artist businesses to this day.
But that wasn’t even the worst of it. “The Game” talks about how Neil a.k.a Style, Mystery, Tyler, and other pickup artists had all lived under the same roof called “Project Hollywood.” Well, to eliminate his competitors, Tyler used some of these AMOG techniques as backhanded ways to “freeze out” both Neil and Mystery from the house to turn it into a place for his Real Social Dynamics business.
Obviously I’m just repeating what I read in the book. I wasn’t there.
Neil also said that he had said to Tyler once that Tyler was the type of person who liked to rise to the top of a situation by eliminating his competitors, and Tyler agreed (page 427).
So, even though there’s good to Tyler’s AMOG concept, there seems to be some shady male ego stuff attached to it, too. I’m not interested in that part of the concept. Rather than using the AMOG techniques to “destroy” other guys, I’m more interested in simply learning how to defend yourself from these kinds of people… in the most ethical way possible.
Here’s one of the most important things to take away from Tyler’s AMOG concept. It’s the observation there’s often a power struggle in human interactions. People have egos. And people will cut you down in order to satisfy those little monsters.
The question is: if you come across a guy who says to you in front of a bunch of girls: “Nice shirt. I had one like that in high school”… What do you do?
The basic solution is this. These people are creating an imaginary “frame” about you. But it’s a false frame. And unless you reveal it to be false, people might take it for reality, including yourself. Don’t accept this false “problem frame.” Create a better, truer frame of your own.
This post has gotten long. So, I’ll tell you exactly how in “Part II.”