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AMOGs, Shit Tests, and Bitch Shields, Part III

19 Feb

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The best way to be an AMOG? Treat everyone with respect and kindness.

This is actually how Mystery AMOGs. He doesn’t try to tear people down to make himself feel better. He lifts everyone else up.

And guess what happens when you do that? Naturally you put yourself into a leadership role. Hostility is not necessary for dominance.

First and foremost, treat everyone with respect. See the best in people. Make them feel important. People will be cool with you in return. You’ll make friends rather than enemies.

If that doesn’t work it’s onto Plan B.

The basic idea behind Plan B (again): Don’t accept the negative frame. Replace it with a positive one.

Here are some examples. I’ll start with AMOG situations (dealing with guys) and I’ll end with Shit Tests and Bitch Shields (dealing with girls).

There’s three basic categories of technique in either situation. “Ignore,” “Meta-frame” and “Agreeing, but Reducing to the Absurd.”

AMOGs:

1. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

Ignore. Don’t even respond. Just keep talking about what you were talking about.

2. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“Cool man. Anyway.”

Less is more. Still under the “Ignore” category. The more attention you give to him, the more power you give to him. So, give the least possible attention, the least possible words, the least possible reaction.

3. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“That was weird. Anyway…”

Here, you stand outside their frame, judging it from a higher place. A “meta” frame. You don’t accept his frame. You see it as weird.

4. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“This guy you can dress him up, but you can’t take him anywhere.”

Another example of a “meta” frame. Again, notice how you don’t accept his frame. You step outside it and see it from a higher position. You see it as a social violation.

5. “Did your mommy buy that shirt for you?”

“Yep. Doesn’t she have great taste?”

Here you actually agree with the frame but exaggerate it. The exaggeration makes his frame absurd. The technique is also known as “Yes and…” You simply agree, then exaggerate it. By doing this you’re showing his frame to be ridiculous. You’ve destroyed it with humor.

6. “Is that design on your shirt a sphincter? Man, you’re going to need somebody to protect you, mate. You’re going to have all the guys into you.”

“Dude, that’s why I rolled up on you. I need you, man. Help me, please, man. I look at you, and I just know that you were born to protect my sphincter.”

Another example of agreeing with the frame and exaggerating it to the absurd.

SHIT TESTS AND BITCH SHIELDS:

1. “Do women even like you?”

“Oh my God, you are so cute. Look at you trying to give me shit.”

Eeeeeeeeverything she does is cute. Everything. When you put a label on someone, you don’t accept their negative frame. You interpret theirs another way: her being cute. This is a type of “meta” frame.

The other advantage of specifically calling her “cute”: it creates sexual tension. Sexual tension comes from being dominant, and her being “cute.” In other words, you being masculine, she being feminine.

2. You’re talking and the girl gets all distracted.

“Hey ADD, party’s over here.”

Again, putting a label on someone interprets them in your own way. The frame goes from “you’re not very important” (her frame) to “she gets easily distracted” (your frame). You’ve stepped outside her negative frame using a “meta” frame. Nice.

3. “What kind of shirt is that?”

“Do you always wear that lipstick? Anyway…”

You’re not even answering her frame. You come up with your own. You’ve “Ignored” hers.

4. “You’re a stupid piece of shit. Get the fuck away from me!”

“That was weird.”

OR

“Wow, that was rude.”

Same kind of “meta” frame from above. Instead of playing into her negative frame, you see it from a higher position of judgment: her being completely rude.

Another way to deal with extreme rudeness:

“Oh I get it. You probably act like this all the time, and you probably get away with it too. I don’t buy it. I think that you act like a bitch and you convince people you’re a bitch but really you’re a sensitive person. I know that you’re really a nice person but you have to act this way because a lot of dorks hit on you.”

Credit: Brad P. Here you reinterpret her bitchiness in a positive way. You turn a negative frame into a positive one. Another “meta-frame.”

5. “You’re short.”

“Yes I am. Great things come in small packages.”

Agree and replace her negative insinuation with a positive one. Your positive frame is now in charge.

6. “Do you say this to all the girls?”

“Yes, you’re the 512th person I’ve said this to today.”

Agree and exaggerate.

7. “Does this make me look fat?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t going to say anything.”

Agree and exaggerate.

8. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Maybe he can make us breakfast in bed.”

Agree and exaggerate.

OR

“That’s cool. I have an uncle that has 5 cats. 4 blue ones and 1 red one. He dyed them blue and red. You should check it out sometime. Anyway…”

Agree and exaggerate… take it to the absurd.

9. “Will you buy me a drink?”

“I’d be happy to. But let me get to know you better first.”

Agree, but replace with your own frame. You’re not the stereotypical guy who thinks he has to buy girl’s attention (her frame). Your frame is we’re two human beings. Let’s focus on that first before getting money involved.

By the way, you can do this technique with any other demand she might place on you. In other words, rather than blindly jump through her hoops, let her jump through yours first. Then you can go through hers. That way it’s even. You’re not rewarding potentially spoiled, princess behavior. She gives and you give. For example:

“Sure, but before I do that, give me at least one compliment.”

10. Let’s say she’s giving you bad behavior and she doesn’t respond to a more good-humored response. Then factually point out what she did, and tell her you won’t stand for it:

“This is what you did. This is not cool with me. If this behavior doesn’t change, I’m gone.”

You don’t accept her frame where she thinks she can get away with whatever she wants because she’s hot. Stand outside of her self-absorbed frame, a “meta” frame, and call her on her shit… respectfully. If her behavior still doesn’t change, walk away. You’ve got bigger fish to fry. As a byproduct, this can actually create attraction… while halting bad behavior at the same time.

And that’s about it.

Each technique “Ignore,” “Meta-frame,” and “Agree to the Absurd” has this in common: they disregard a negative frame and replace it with a positive one. Never think you have to accept people’s negative frames. They are mere interpretations of reality, not reality itself. You can always create your own frame… and get things back to reality.

This way you stand up for yourself, but in a way that still treats people with respect.

 
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Posted by on February 19, 2013 in Frame Control, Home

 

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