Tag Archives: style

What A Woman Thinks When You Approach Her


Bossymoksie giving the bird

I found this comment… by a woman who goes by “Bossymoksie“… on a March 7, 2013 post from SocialKenny’s Blog.

It’s about what a woman is thinking when you approach her. She’s thinking:

“Who is this guy? What does he want? And how long am I stuck with him for?” -lol, that’s exactly what we think. May I add the question “What is he going to offer me?” I know not all woman may think this right away, but I do think this is why you have to demonstrate high social value, so she thinks you are a valuable person in the world.

Nice. I learned a lot from that comment, so I wanted to share it with you, too.

Let’s break it down real quickly.

When we first approach a woman, we’ve gotta answer these questions:

  • Who is this guy?
  • What does he want?
  • How long am I stuck with him for?
  • What is he going to offer me?

or else she’s not going to hear a word of what we’re saying.

Luckily, those legendary pickup artists, Style and Mystery, discovered the tools that answer these questions right off the bat. That’s probably why they were such approach masters.

Here are the techniques they invented:

  • The “root” (reason for why you’re talking with her) answers… “What does he want?”
  • The “false time constraint” (I’m on my way out/I’m not going to be here forever) answers… “How long am I stuck with him for?”
  • DHV (self-disclosure) answers… “Who is this guy” and “What is he going to offer me?”

I also loved what she said about “what is he going to offer me?”

Soooo true!

Obviously, we know what’s in it for us if we get with this hot chick.

Well, what’s in it for her if she gets with us? That’s why we’ve gotta give her value IMMEDIATELY.

Enter the DHV.

The DHV is all about HER self-interest.

It’s NOT about you or showing off how great you are. It’s about putting an eager want inside of her… for you.

It’s like if you were to go fishing, putting a worm at the end of a hook instead of a slice of pizza. You might like pizza, but fish like worms. So, you bait the fish with worms (its self-interest) not pizza (your self-interest).

Likewise, there are certain things that attract women that don’t necessarily attract us guys. Understanding what those are and giving them to her IMMEDIATELY ignites an eager want in her. That’s what DHV is all about.

(If you’re curious what those things are that attract women more than us guys, check out my article “5 Attraction Switches” , if you’d like. It’s SUPER helpful to know about them.)

Here’s another reason DHV answers her question “what’s he going to offer me”:

It gives her something of USE. You give her a little gift right off the bat.

For example, if you share a personality test with her, she gets to learn something cool about herself. She’s smiling. Who IS this guy, she might be saying to herself. Thumbs up.

Or, if you share a funny story with her, she gets to laugh and “feel good.” Can you say “Hell, yeah”?

By the way, speaking of “feeling good,” I’ve found an even MORE effective way of answering all these questions right off the bat than the three techniques I just listed above.

And that’s banter.

If you play fight with her… starting with THE SECOND SENTENCE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH (“The Second Sentence Rule”)… in a way where you’re dominant and she’s cute… not only does it make her laugh, but it creates sexual tension.

Mmmmmmmm. Delicious.

And we all know what women say about laughter. How much they hate it and they never look for it in a guy.

Um, yeah right.

My article “Flirting” goes into how exactly to banter in a lot of detail.  Again, check it out if you’d like.

Banter is THE key to creating attraction right off the bat. Hands down. Not to sound overly dramatic or anything, but learning that skill changed my life. And I’m not even kidding.

Anyway, keep in mind those questions that Bossymoksie shared with us when guys approach her! Invaluable, invaluable, invaluable. Answer those questions and… hello awesome approach, nice to know you (read: put her at ease). Things from there are cake.

Thanks Bossymoksie for sharing that little pice of gold with us.

Seven Secrets to Style’s Success

“Style,” aka Neil Strauss

How did Style get so successful in the game? According to him it was these things:

1. Hang out with people better than you: He hung with Mystery. Obviously that might be a little more difficult now, but there are other guys out there you can find that are good with women. When you hang out with that guy, he’ll rub off on you. You’ll SEE him in action. And you’ll learn subtle lessons from him a book could never capture. If you can’t find anyone, models on tape or video are a good temporary substitute.

2. PRACTICE: Style went out all the time and PRACTICED pickup. You can’t learn how to surf from books. Same thing with women. When you practice pickup, you’ll fail. It’ll hurt. But failure is the backdoor to success. And your learning will go from your head into your BONES.

3. Learn in small chunks: Style learned in chunks. He didn’t try to get a threesome before learning how to approach first. Master opening first. Next, master “negs.” Next, “DHV,” next qualify, next isolate and so on until you learn how to stack orgasms.

4. Learn from your mistakes: No situation is impossible. There is ALWAYS a solution to a problem, and ANY obstacle can be solved. The most difficult situation you can imagine, like a girl surrounded by 8 guys or a girl on her way out the door or a girl who’s heard your opener already, can be solved.

5. It’s YOUR fault: If something goes wrong, it’s not her fault. She’s not a bitch or mean or uptight.  YOU did something to make her feel uncomfortable. Look to yourself for what went wrong in the situation. Think about how you could do it better next time. And do it better next time.

6. Don’t take it personally: Take in all criticism, and take a hard look at yourself. If the criticism is true, then learn from it. If the criticism is garbage, throw it away. Rather than waste energy being “hurt,” use the info to better the skill.

7. Preparedness: Before going out, Style would study his routines and structure until he knew them like the back of his hand. He would then fold up the piece of paper, put it into his back pocket, and forget about it. He’d go out into the field, and just flow. His sets would go awesome.

Know what you’re going to say, and what you want to accomplish before you approach. This will allow you to take the lead, move things to a destination, and detach your ego from the results. The focus will be on improving your SKILLS rather than being on an ego trip.

Then if you REALLY wanna skyrocket your success, TRACK your results! When you track, don’t only criticize yourself. Acknowledge the good, too. You can tell who’s going to be a great pickup artist by the ones who get scientific, and track their approaches.

Some other nuggets that helped him in the field:

  1. Belief: whatever is possible you can manifest—so believe it, and do it despite any obstacles that get in your way. It WILL happen
  2. Make sure she orgasms before you—that way she’ll always come back for more.
  3. When approaching a mixed set, as long as you show the guys respect, they will be cool with you