Tag Archives: unattractive women

In Bars and Clubs, The Key to Picking Up Hot Chicks is Not Picking Them Up

Bars and clubs… where the hottest chicks go. How do you approach them in this most intimidating environment? Answer: Don’t approach ONLY hot chicks.

Let me ask you something. What’s the “3-second rule”?

Easy, right? When you see a hot girl, approach her within 3 seconds.

That’s true, and accurate.

But there’s a deeper meaning. Approach THE FIRST SET (group of people) YOU SEE within 3 seconds, regardless if there’s hot chicks in it or not.

Here’s a story from my own experience that demonstrates this.

Back when I first started learning pickup, one night I went to a loud dance club to practice.

Oh, and by the way, don’t do what I did and practice at night clubs. Practice in lounges and bars where you can actually hear yourself speak. Club game takes a whole different set of skills.

Anyway, big surprise, I wasn’t getting any interest from chicks. One girl outright said, “I’m not interested.”

I was so discouraged. I couldn’t figure out what I did. The entire following week I wracked my brain trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. It wasn’t until I sought out info from wiser guys than me that I finally figured out what happened.

I was only approaching good-looking women.

I didn’t talk to the bouncer, the bartender, any of the guys or unattractive women. As a result, I was probably coming across as on the prowl.

Worse, by the time I approached a hot chick, I was in such a “watching” mind-set (not a “talkative” one) that the approach felt forced. She probably felt a distinct “this guy is hitting on me” feeling.

No wonder I was striking out.

So, the next night I went out to a bar (that had a club attached) and I did the opposite.

To the bartender I said, “Hey, how’s your night going?”

To the bouncer I made sure to give a solid “What’s going on? Have a great night.”

I spoke to guys—who I found to be really cool and a lot easier to start a conversation with than women for some reason.

I spoke to unattractive girls.


When I went into the dance club, I didn’t stand on the sidelines to watch. I got on the dance floor and danced. Side note: I found you don’t have to be John Travolta on the dance floor. All you gotta do is move to the rhythm, and smile. And don’t grind on the girls.

When I returned to the bar I felt this incredible surge of confidence. I felt like I owned the place.

Opening hot chicks was now natural and easy. They were just another group of people in the club—no one special. And amazingly they opened up like flowers in sunshine. haha

This taught me, hands down, that the approach begins BEFORE you approach. It begins with how you feel, with your mind-state.

If your mind-state is anxious, people will feel this and be resistant.  If your mind-state is joyful, people will feel this and want to talk with you. How you feel inside ain’t separate from the approach. It’s the secret to it.

That night I number-closed two gorgeous women. One of them asked for my number because she wanted to demonstrate her blow-job skills on me. Um, let me think about that…okay.

The key to picking up chicks isn’t talking only to the hot chicks but talking to EVERYONE. Everyone.  Don’t discriminate. See a group, 3-seconds later you’re talking to them. Doesn’t have to be a long-ass conversation, a “hey, how’s your night going” does wonders.

This can even be practiced outside the club in everyday life, smiling at people, saying hi, making the cashier smile, or whatever.

Anyway, in a bar, I found people actually want to talk with you. It’s a social environment for God’s sakes! But a lot of time people are shy to break the “stranger” barrier, so they’re psyched when you have the balls to do it.

BONUS: when women see all this, they feel a lot safer when you approach them. They see you’re not after them, on the prowl. They see you’re just friendly, people like you, and that you can even get along with other guys. That’s attractive to women. Women are social value seekers, so when you talk to everyone it shows you have social value to offer them.

ANOTHER BONUS: You get in a talkative mood, and you feel like you can talk to anyone.

And check this out. When you do approach the hot chicks it doesn’t have to be fancy. You can say a quick little thing, make them laugh, and walk away. When you see them again, they feel like you’re not a stranger anymore and they’ll open right up.  You’re not a predator trying to get something from them. You’re just outgoing and fun.

Aaaaaand, you’ll look COMPLETELY different from every other guy in there, who’s just standing there gawking at the women.

But let me clarify this super-important point. You’re friendly not just in order to impress chicks and pick them up, but because it’s a blast to meet new, cool people and build a social network. It just so happens that in the process, you’ve also created attraction in women, even before you approached.

The gorgeous Olivia Palermo