Apparently, Elliot Rodger (that 22-year-old who went on the killing spree) was a failed pickup artist. He posted on PUAHate. In fact, I’ve heard PUAHate has been shut down because he was posting about taking revenge on women, and guys were cheering him on.
To a certain extent, I can empathize with Elliot. I’ve gotten rejected by women a lot. I’ve felt like an outsider and alone. It feels rotten.
But here’s the big question. What would prevent you and I from becoming an Elliot?
I think it has to do with a huge lesson I learned from Mystery and Neil Strauss. If something goes wrong in an interaction with a woman, it’s never the woman’s fault. It’s always our fault. It’s not that the girl is a bitch or a snob or a slut. She just responds to our skill level. Improve your skill level, watch your success rate improve.
Isn’t that what Jesus taught? Everyone was about to stone that woman for cheating on her husband. He asked them to look at themselves and see their own sin before condemning the sin in others.
Ultimately, that’s what pickup is about. It’s less about “getting” women (although attracting women is awesome). It’s more about looking at yourself in the process to become a better man.
Well, how do you improve your skill level, you ask? Lemme share this quote:
Elliot may have given up, then blamed the outside world for his failures, rather than looking to himself. I can understand his hurt. But blaming seems to blind us, while looking to ourselves wakes us. That’s the big lesson I’m taking from this terrible tragedy.
May I agree and disagree? Please Look at the token from both sides and please give me an honest opinion on this.
There is a woman that is on death row because she drowned her 4 month old. Was it because the child’s skill level was low that she killed him?
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE that I’m being kind’ve petty arguing this point because I know you’re going to agree with me 100%
If I am a celebrity like Bill Gates and I’m jogging in Central Park, fact is: As an adult, I should know the dangers of the elements that I’m dealing with instead of feeling sorry for myself, moping about what could’ve been and allowing something terrible to happen to me.
It’s more about taking responsibility for the things you can, recognizing there are insane elements out there and preparing the best you can against them.
ALSO, there could be 15 guys that don’t get the psycho moms mentality and can’t get her to confess while there might be one silver-tongued interrogator that can.
As pick up artists, we are taking an oath to dedicate our lives to being that rare, silver-tonged, brilliant masterpiece and in persuit of excellence, there is no time to feel sorry for yourself.
If Elliot plays his cards right, he could be paroled in 20 years for good behaviour, go back to school at 40, graduate at 50 and become a doctor, master his communication skills and marry a Playmate. There is NEVER a reason to feel sorry for yourself.
Elliot’s no longer with us, though. But you’re right, feeling sorry for yourself is never a solution.
Here’s I meant by “improve your skill”: if you’re failing with women, it’s not women that’s the problem. It’s us, or our skill level. Improve a skill, you’ll see success rates change.
I had terrible failures with women. Once I improved my skills, women responded to me differently. But if I had blamed my failure on women, I may have never changed, and just ended up bitter and angry at the world. The issue wasn’t women, but my skill level with women.
Does that make better sense?
I say “screw being good with women, work on being good with yourself” because skill level and success can raise and fall with the purchase of car or a good and bad haircut can alter your fortune.
Not a fun lesson to learn the hard way.
One day I’m working with every pick up guru in the game, the next, I’m practically blackballed.
One day all the girls love you, the next day, a meme rubs a particular group the wrong way, can you handle it?
Unfortunately, life is not pick up. I’m a pick up “coach” that’s a keyboard jockey. Why? Because being a keyboard jockey is what’s going to make my business successful. F*ck the game and what the people have to say about me.
So worried about their image, they wind up stifled.
A perfect 8 can be purchased for 150 bucks.
The real skill is recognizing women have nothing to do with your problems… Which is what I think you’re trying to say.
Dude, that sucks you got blackballed. I remember you had interviewed people like Johnny Soporno, Marni Wing, Prophet from Venusian Arts… Don’t understand why you got blackballed. You’re a good guy. From my experiences with you, including your interviews with me, you always see the best in people.
And when I say skill, I literally mean skill. If a guy’s having trouble with women, he can get better by improving his skill. Like if a guy was having problems playing the piano, he can get better by improving his skill level. And that takes practice and not giving up when the going gets tough.
My real point is: EVERY guy has it in them to become successful with women.
It’s pretty easy… Look good and have unconscious attraction, unconscious sexual attraction and deep rapport and put yourself into situations where there are plenty of women and be able to talk your way in and out of situations + be humble.
lol, it wasn’t an international blackball or anything, it was a lot of promenant guys from the west coast and it was over a girl, next, it was because I thought I was such a bad-ass and a “knowitall.”
My ambition goes waaaaaaaay beyond a couple of pick up artists and their opinions. A lot of the stuff they use they don’t really even speak on.
For example: Pick up artist hires a couple of girls to work on him, he does a couple photo shoots with them. He benefits, they benefit, so the women come out of the woodworks looking for opportunities which is good.
It is game
It does work
He deserves the respect that he get’s because he set up his life like that
It’s COMPLETELY “LEGAL” to use (he get’s no complaints from me)
YET, does he show and tell guys openly that this is a HUGE part of his game? Probably not.
That’s like a guy who says “I slept with over 15 Playboy Playmates and bunnies, so I must have game”
He does have game… He is also an 8 on the scale and works at the Playboy mansion. Completely legal to use, yet, DOES HE TALK ABOUT THAT IN HIS PRODUCTS?
That’s why guys have to be right with themselves. and taking as much advantage of the situations they have.
*If a guy gets into this game, he can’t be fooled by the hype and the show of the game and instead figure out how to do the best that he can with the life that he has.
I think it would be pretty foolish for a scientist that doesn’t get laid to feel that he has to hang out in weed and coke dungeons to get laid and pretty foolish for a pick up artist that uses this as his bait to not come right out and say it becuse it’s unfair to the guys who buy 200 dollar products based on the fact that you’re the coke dealer at the Playboy mansion. If that’s your game, just say “I’m the cokelord over at Playboy” and call it a day. That’s Legit to me… Now teach. What does it take to deal coke at the Playboy mansion without getting caught by security? How do you pay them? How do you make indecent proposals to Playmates.
It’s the half-truths that give these hate forums the ammo to fire at the PUA community.
Half-truths aren’t cool.
And if I understand you correctly, one of the complaints you have about pus teachers is they might not be the real deal? For example, they hire girls to surround themselves to look like the real deal… but they had to HIRE them. When it comes down to it, their words speak louder than their actions.
Is that kinda what you’re saying?
Not at all… That is not the issue at all. I am definitely not accusing anyone of that. I know those girls are NOT prostitutes, (although they may be employees) AND I KNOW he’s fucking them more than he admits… Most if not all…
The issue is the transferance of authority.
If I hire girls then seduce them or if I give a girl promise of being a lightweight, underground celeb AND I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN AND I follow the rules of the game, even 20% I’m going to be fucking a gang of pretty girls.
The issue is acting like that’s not his key hook… BECAUSE IT IS!!!!!
Talk about that hook, how you hooked, what they’re willing to do, how easy or difficult it is, etc. THAT should be the center of his teachings. BAR NONE.
Because that geek over there might not even be suited for his methods.
What it takes to bang a lot of chicks might not even be in his price range.
I look at it like this: A pick up artist should be evaluated on how well he does with other guys in his league.
Are you broke as fuck and doing stuff that makes guys with mad cheddar say “damn!”
Are you a guy with a Benz and you do better than other guys with the same car?
Are you short and broke and do better than a guy that’s tall and broke? Than that guy has something to teach because that’s not necessarily easy.
You get a guy like Sean Stevenson and he’s no matter how many bootcamps he does, he’s at a handicap, doesn’t mean that what he has to say is any less valuable that Brad Pitt just because he’s not knocking celebrities.
I’m saying that I BELIEVE (and I may be wrong) that since the game, there is a certain pressure to be perfect and it’s not that simple.
How many pick up artists in the game are fucked up broke, living off credit cards buying things to be more attractive (which is cool) because they’re afraid that if they don’t, their practice might suffer?
How many pick up artists will tell you “I’m financially in the hole because I bought a bunch of shit to be attractive.”
Instead it should be like “I bought a bunch of shit to be attractive, look at what I got and check my reasoning behind it all…
Okay, I think I gotcha. If you’ve got a unique hook as a pua, share it with the world. Right?
What I’m saying is that everyone is pushing the same stuff. and they’re not exactly forthright about the source of their success… WHICH THEY CAN BE and still have mad success.
It’s unfair to the guys that are first starting to think personality and language patterns are the key when they dress like Poindexter.
He goes to language pattern seminar, nothing happens, he shoots up a school.
Instead, teach optimal health, teach dressing like god AND teach language patterns. Or be up-front about it so the kid with the uzi and the ak-47 is making an informed choice.
You see what I mean?
That’s why I like what you do here, because you take a more holistic approach
Brotha, THANK-YOU! You picked up on the fact that I go for transforming the whole person, not just quick fixes. Astute observation, and thanks for noticing.
Your comment about Poindexter made me laugh. Haha.
Point very well taken, though. Be forthright about the source of your success. And make changes from the inside out, rather than put a band-aid on it (like only learning some language patterns).
Great point. I’m keeping that in mind.
Well man, this is a great pick up forum and it’s always nice to spill to you. You really have people’s best interests at heart.
Thanks bro. You too
I know there’s a lot of hate out there for pick-up and PUA’s but this is what I like about it. The self improvement part. The part that empowers men in doing something for themselves to make their life better, instead of blaming others (women). There’s always something you can do to make life better, you just have to be willing to do it! Whether it’s PUA stuff or something else.
Amen, sista. You hit it on the head.
I originally got into this stuff to learn how to be more successful with women. It ended up changing my life for the better. When I write about it now, it’s less about how to “get women” (although I share tips on that). The “prize” is more on self-improvement.
Your comments are always insightful. Love ’em.