Myth #1, Part VI. The Myth Moralizes Men’s Desires


The Puritans, the founders of the U.S.. They thought dancing and sex were sins. We’re still Puritans… especially when it comes to how we view sexual desire. There’s nothing wrong with sexual desire.

To say pickup is about lying, bullshitting, and manipulating also moralizes sex. In the same way we moralize women for wanting sex by calling her a “slut,” we moralize men for learning how to be better with women by calling him a “bullshitter, a manipulator, a liar.”

Moralism is a disease, a disease of modern society. So many of us would rather take half-baked ideologies and condemn everyone else before looking at ourselves and seeing how imperfect we are first.

Again, there’s nothing morally wrong with desiring women. Learning pickup allows a man to harness that desire into something more than lust. So that he develops into a more excellent man in the process.


Sexual energy begins “down there,” but we can harness it into something higher. One of the values of pickup: it gives sexual energy a positive place to go.

So, in my view at least, that’s what pickup is about.

“Players” are different from pickup artists. Players rush a woman into bed, and have no interest in seeing her again. He may bullshit, manipulate, or lie to “get” sex.

A pickup artist, by contrast, takes his time in getting to know a woman and wants to give her a great experience.

Once again, in learning this skill, a man develops himself into a better man. One who’s neither nice guy nor jerk. He takes the best from the two extremes and discards the worst.

Then after he’s mastered the skill he helps other guys who were in his situation.

That brings Myth #1 to a close

Phew. That was a long response to the first myth that pickup is about lying, bullshitting, and manipulation. But I had to go into detail about it, because I hear this myth too often.

I hear it so often because it’s easier to judge than to understand. And it’s fun to judge before understanding because it makes a person feel superior and righteous to condemn.

Anyway, my point was when done correctly, pickup can be such a positive thing.

But here’s a second big myth that surrounds pickup. Myth #2: learning routines is bad. It’s another moralistic myth that cracks me up.

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