Tag Archives: intent

Myth #1, Part I. Lying, Manipulating, and Bullshitting a Girl into Sex?

I wanna dispel some myths.


About to bust some myths about pickup


Uninformed ideas, preconceived notions.

‘Cause I hear how horrible it is to learn pickup a lot. You may even have some of these doubts yourself. I wanna address these, so you have no doubts this path is an awesome one.

Myth #1: Isn’t Pick-up About Lying, Manipulation, and Bullshitting a Girl into Sex?


Usually I hear women come up with this one. But to be honest, it was a concern of mine before getting into pickup, too. I didn’t want to get into something that was about lying, manipulation, or bullshit.

But it comes down to intent. The skill itself is neutral. It’s neither manipulative or non-manipulative. The man breathes the manipulation into the skill if that’s his intent.

It’s similar to money. Money itself is paper with ink printed on it. It’s neutral, neither good nor bad. It’s the intent that makes money a good or evil. Persons who are greedy and rich were probably greedy before they got rich. Persons who are generous and rich were probably generous before they got rich.

Similarly, those who use pickup to manipulate were probably manipulators before they learned the skill. There are plenty of PUAs who are in this NOT to manipulate, bullshit, or lie, but to grow as men.

In any event, neither money nor pickup is “evil” in itself. It’s the intent of the man that makes it selfish or not.

So, when I hear this old wives’ tale, I know it’s a gross generalization.

When women say it, I think there’s a valid fear. It’s lazy thinking, don’t get me wrong, but I think there’s a valid fear beneath it. Perhaps they fear men will learn the skill and use it to manipulate them, lie to them, not see them as human beings.

But learning this skill doesn’t mean this happens.

This myth becomes offensive when women (or anyone else) accuse, stereotype, condemn, and get moralistic on ALL pickup artists before understanding the specific man.

After hearing enough of these accusations I myself almost feel guilty that I have male desire, and that I want to learn how to succeed with women.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with having male desire or wanting to succeed with women. The irony is this accusation is often used as a manipulative guilt trip itself.

So, why can’t a guy learn how to become more attractive, and talk to a women better without lying, manipulating, and bullshitting?

Do those terrible things really follow from the desire to become more attractive?

Hell, no.

Indulge me for a moment and let me take this accusation apart to show you how ungrounded and fallacious it is. I’ll begin in part two.