Question: How To Hold Eye Contact?

Eye Contact Anime

Strong eye contact turns women on, like in this picture above.

Derek asked me:

Hey man, I have this doubt, well you said that there must be a good eye contact right? So when having this eye contact where should I be actually looking at? I mean, should I be swapping between her left and right eyes? Or should I focus on just one eye? Or should I set my eyes at the bridge of her nose (like between her eyes)?

Here was my reply:

Great question. ‘Cause looking a woman in her eye’s important. Averting eye contact? Says insecurity and makes people feel uncomfortable. Looking someone in the eye? Says you’re listening, you’re attentive, you’re trustworthy. Attractive.

Now, swapping between her eyes might make your eyes dart too much. So I wouldn’t recommend that. Instead, relax your gaze. Put your attention on her. It’s funny, follow that one simple tip, your eyes should take care of the rest.

As for which eye to focus on: we usually look at a person’s right eye. BUT supposedly if you look into a person’s left eye, you’ll into her soul. Why?

Left-or-Right-Brain better words

The left eye is linked with the right brain. So, if you look into someone’s left eye, they say you look into their true self.

‘Cause left eye’s linked with right side of the brain (intuitive side). Right eye’s linked the left side of the brain (logical side).

Don’t worry about all that, though. Lose yourself in what she’s saying. Your eyes’ll take care of the rest.

Now, if this tip is worthless to you, here’re some “training wheels”:

  • Look at her forehead, since it’s the closest to her eyes. Gradually work your way to looking her in the eye.
  • If you’re a numbers guy, keep these numbers in mind: Look into her eyes 30 percent of the time, and 70 percent in her general direction. It’s okay to look away from each other for a few seconds while talking. It’ll still be strong eye contact.
  • Then when you’re about to kiss her, gaze into her eyes 70 percent of the time. Looking into someone’s eyes for that long means one or two things: aggression or seduction. Hold the thoughts of “I wanna kiss you,” in your head and it’ll be seductive. You can also try the triangular gaze technique.
Eye Contact Triangular Gaze Female

Before you kiss a girl, use the triangular gaze technique. Look her in the left eye, slowly into her right eye, down to her lips, and back to her left eye. Very seductive.

So, here’s what to remember. If you’re thinking “me, me, me” that’ll come across in your eyes. But if you focus on her, your eye contact will take care of yourself. Forget about “performing,” lose yourself in what she’s saying, and you’ll hold great eye contact.


Lose yourself in what she’s saying, and your eyes will take care of the rest.

4 thoughts on “Question: How To Hold Eye Contact?

  1. mailmidnight

    @ Derek
    On the one hand you want to show here and there that you more dominant than the girl and have strong eye contact. (when I speak)
    But in my opinion you want to stay by yourself (so when the girl says something and it’s not interesting I don’t have a lot of eye contact.)
    I give her more attention (eye contact) if she is working more.

    Later the goal is building a connection than of course you look deeply in her eyes. (sharing together personal stories)

    1. renaissan

      Nice added layer of being a challenge with your eye contact during the attract phase. Then putting that challenge away during comfort/connection.


Leave a Reply