Let’s say you’re getting REALLY great with women. You’ve been going out four times a week for the last eight months, you’ve been keeping track of your approaches, and girls are starting to respond BEAUTIFULLY. They’re laughing, you’re the most interesting guy in the room, and you’re making them chase.
Guess what? You’re going to have a whole new problem on your hands. More than one girl is going to want sex from you.
I know, I know. This is a problem? Haha Well, it’s a QUALITY problem.
For example, let me ask you this question. Is it okay to sleep with more than one woman at the same time?
You object you say? Well, check out my take on the whole subject.
As long as a girl knows you’ve got other women in your life, and she’s okay with that, I see absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with multiple women at the same time.
I’ll say it again. As long as you’re HONEST about the fact that you sleep with other women and she agrees to that condition, how are you being dishonest or unethical about sleeping with other women?
And this goes without saying, but use protection. Of course.
Here’s the other side to this. If you tell a woman you’re going to be faithful to her and you both agree to these terms, then be faithful. Break up with her before you cheat on her.
But if you’re single, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeing multiple women. In fact, it can be a good thing.
I mean, would you buy the first shirt you try on in a store, or would you try on different ones to see which fit best? So, how are you supposed to find a woman who’s right for you if you get into a monogamous relationship with the first woman you sleep with?
Now, the big question is this. HOW do you be honest with a woman that you’re sleeping with other women in a way that doesn’t turn her off?
And let me just say right here that… not every girl is gonna love the idea. That’s okay. But you’ll be surprised how many girls will be totally okay with it. To make her feel comfortable with it, there’s definitely a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
Believe me, I’ve done the wrong way many times. So, learn from my mistakes. I’m gonna give you six steps to follow. By the way, I learned these from Brad P and Joshua Pellicier, and have field tested them myself. They work.
STEP #1. SOW THE SEED.
Sow the seed in the first ten to fifteen minutes of meeting her. You’ve got a few ways to do this.
Option #1: Banter.
Joke about how you’ve got a lot of girlfriends. Or if she’s grabbing at you, tell her to take a number. Or if she says something you like, tell her you’re going to make her your Tuesday girlfriend and if she’s good, you’ll make her your Friday girlfriend (where the real fun is). Come up with your own stuff if you’d like. But play the role of a guy who’s got lots of girls in his life.
She’ll get the message on a subconscious level. Like the old adage goes, jokes have a kernel of truth.
Option #2: Tell stories.
You can tell stories about how you’re from out of town, or you can tell an embarrassing story about how you’ve got girls fighting over you (see “Wrong Number” story under the “Funny Stories” section of “My Routines Collection” for an example).
Option #3. Tell her you’re polyamorous. (credit: Joshua Pellicier)
This is probably the best way to go, because it’s the most upfront. No gray areas here. Here’s an example of how that exchange might go:
- You: “How did your last relationship end?”
- She: “Oh, he was jealous. It ended. Whatever.”
- You: “I don’t have that problem anymore because I changed something about the way I’m in relationships now. But yeah… I remember what that was like and it completely sucks!”
- She: Talks about jealousy, fear, lying, apathy, or selfishness.
- You: “You know that doesn’t happen in a polyamorous relationship. Have you ever considered just being polyamorous with guys that make you feel that way?”
- She: “What is polyamory?”
- You: “Poly means many and amor means love, so polyamory means lots of loves. I have many girlfriends at the same time. They’re free to date who they want, too. And if a girl’s not comfortable with it, I don’t date her. But they all know about each other ahead of time.”
If she’s not cool with it, then you don’t date her.
STEP #2. ANSWER OBJECTIONS.
Here’s some objections you might get and how to handle them. Again, credit goes to Joshua Pellicer for this.
Objection #1: “I could never do that.”
Response: “Hey, it’s not for everyone. But if you ever meet a guy who’s good at it, I highly suggest you try it out. It’s an amazing experience because there’s no relationship drama. A lot of the girls who are dating me are doing it for the first time, and love it. Not a lot of guys know how to do it right, but if you ever run into another one, try it out. It’s fun.”
She: “Okay, yeah, I’ll try that out”
Objection #2: “Are you sleeping with all of them?”
Response: “Well, yeah, most of them. I mean I’m not going to deprive them of sex. But we also have a 100% protection rule. We always use protection. But, yeah, I’m sleeping with most of them.”
Objection #3: “What kind of girl would actually do that?”
Response: “Girls like you that are confident. They’re trying it out for the first time, and are completely comfortable with it.”
Objection #4: “Do they all know about each other?”
Response: “Absolutely. If she’s not comfortable with it, then I don’t date her. I don’t sleep with her, nothing.”
Objection #5: “So you’re cheating then?”
Response: “No. All the girls all know about each other. And they’re all cool with it. You can’t cheat. Everyone is open about seeing other people, so there’s no cheating.”
Objection #6: “So you never want to get married?”
Response: “I definitely do. I’m in a dating phase of my life. But someday I hope I get married. And someday they’ll probably get married and I hope that for them. They’ll leave and that’s okay.”
Objection #7: “What kind of girls are these girls?”
Response: “They’re from all walks of life. There’s a girl who’s from Thailand. There’s a girl who’s studying to become a CNA. There’s a girl who’s a waitress. There’s a girl who’s a real estate agent. There’s a girl who works in a bookstore. There’s a girl who’s a stripper, a hippie, and a teacher. ”
If you don’t have any girlfriends, you can say: “I’m not sleeping with all of them”… and “The girls I’ve dated in the past are from all walks of life.”
STEP 3. ESCALATE QUICKLY.
Escalate physically quickly, touching often. Act the role of a seducer, not someone who’s courting her.
But when you escalate, remember to push her away, too. This creates sexual tension. Pull her in and push her away. Logic goes out the door for her. All that’s on her mind is… yum.
STEP 4. REINFORCEMENT.
This step is all-important. Women will believe your actions more than your words. If you say you don’t want a relationship, but then ACT like you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to believe your words. More important than talking about it is ACTING it.
What does that mean?
- Don’t buy her dinners or do other “courting” behaviors before you sleep with her.
- Don’t sleep with her more than twice a week.
- Don’t call her more than twice a week.
- Don’t email her more than four times a week.
These are guidelines I’ve picked up from Brad P that I’ve been found to be solid.
The more often you see a woman in a week, the more she’ll think she’s your girlfriend even if you say you don’t want one. But the less contact you have with her in a week, the more she’ll believe your words.
Here’s four other reinforcement techniques you can use that I picked up from Pellicier.
Reinforcement Technique #1. Ask her opinion of other girls:
“What do you think about that girl?”
Reinforcement Technique #2. Fish for jealousy:
“That girl is hot.” If she get jealous, bad sign. She won’t be okay with you sleeping with other girls.
Reinforcement Technique #3. Don’t be available:
“Hey, I won’t be available to hang out until Thursday.” If she ever asks you to cancel plans, reinforce polyamory: “Remember this is a polyamorous relationship. I’m still here for you, but on my own terms.” If that doesn’t work, run. You’ve got a jealous girl on your hands.
Reinforcement Technique #4. Don’t build rapport too fast.
Get things sexual fast. THEN build rapport. Too much rapport before sex can lead to hurt feelings, confusion or anger. Keep the emotional connection mellow, until later.
STEP 5. SEX.
Give her an amazing sexual experience. Give her orgasms. And she’ll keep coming back for more. Also, it’s courteous to sleep with her at least twice. It shows you cared about her experience.
STEP SIX. AFTER SEX.
Tip #1. It’s okay to cuddle and connect with her.
But connect like a friend, not a boyfriend. Keep things light with some fun banter, or go into normal conversation or light rapport, not the deep rapport.
Tip #2. DON’T make any plans with her.
She can tell you about her problems, ask advice, share what’s going on in her life… but if she starts to talk future stuff, cut it off. Reinforce this relationship is polyamorous.
Tip #3. If you can, let her stay.
Have breakfast. If she needs a ride, give her one.
Tip #4. But once she leaves, keep up the search.
Don’t get too attached to one person, unless you want a monogamous relationship.
WHAT TO DO NOW
Okay, so those are the six steps.
- Pick a way to sow the seed from Step #1 and incorporate it into your stack.
- Next time you go out, sow the seed within ten minutes.
- Believe in your bones you’re a catch. Act the part of a man women want. She’ll believe it on an emotional level and she’ll feel attraction.
Acting the part of a man with an abundance of women in his life happens to also be THE critical piece to attracting women.
Every man should go through this experience. It raises a man’s confidence and I’ve personally learned so much about myself and about women going through it. Also, when you do find that one good woman, it makes monogamy that much sweeter.
Just remember, when you do go through this, do it in a way that always leaves a woman better off than when you first met her.
I am a girl and I stumbled on ur page by chance… this multiple dating thing seems so cruel to me.. to women … I understand there are women who are vomfortable with this whole thing.. but this means its all upto the guy to decide who is gona be the one out of the lot… even if a poor girl does everything to please a guy or lets say she has and does all the right things that the guy needs or likes, but she still cant be sure if she is gona be the one… also please enlighten me as to what it is that makes a woman one-it-is for men , especially for a man has slept with hundreds of women … does he actually choose one from amongst these to marry and on what basis?
First of all THANKS for writing in!
Second of all, dating multiple women isn’t meant to be cruel at all. It’s just the “dating” phase before a relationship, before finding someone you really click with.
It’s like visiting different college campuses before deciding on the one that you click with best. Or, it’s like taking a car for a test drive before purchasing it. Or, it’s like trying on different clothes to see how they fit before purchasing them.
The important point is, to date multiple women a guy MUST be honest with a girl. He’s gotta tell her he’s in a dating phase. And it’s expected that girl will see other people too.
I know I’ve gotten into monogamous relationships without getting to know a girl first, and it’s a disaster as a result. Multiple dating is like seeing what’s out there before making a long term commitment. And once two people get into an exclusive relationship, no cheating. That MUST be honored, too.
Third of all, I like your question about what kind of a girl guys like. The fact you’re asking this question tells me you’re already the kind of girl guys would want. I’ll explain what I mean. Here it is in a nutshell: A guy wants a girl who lives for love. Who stays positive rather than negative.
For example, a lot of girls might name-call and blame, or nag and control. An ideal girl would look to herself first before doing all that. Instead of telling him what he’s doing wrong, she’d say what he’s doing right, what she appreciates about him. She’d let him take the lead. She wouldn’t nag, control, or blame.
She’d cook for him, suck his cock, and take care of her body to stay attractive to him, even if she’s been together with him for years.
She’d have her own life, and she’d always want to grow as a person. If her man wants to go out with his friends, fine. If he needs time to pursue his passion in life, she’d support him.
She wouldn’t get jealous without a legitimate reason, because she knows he won’t find another girl like her. She trusts him. And she knows the more space she gives him, the more he’d want to come back to her.
She wouldn’t play psychological games with him. She’d be honest and tell him what she needs so he doesn’t have to guess.
She LOVES sex and wants it! She’d be willing to try new stuff in bed, too.
She wouldn’t flip out and complain. Because she knows negativity and fighting just pulls everyone down. Instead, she’d tell him how much she loves him and support him.
She lives for love, not for strife.
There’s a fun video from a girl’s perspective that corroborates all this. You can check it out here: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=d77_1377364622
But let me just say, the guy has to hold his own weight too. He’d have to stay positive, take responsibility, be honest, take care of himself, always grow, and be able to take care of his woman.
And that’s what this blog is all about. How to become an excellent man who’d attract that kind of ideal woman that I have a strong feeling you are already. Just that you want to become a better woman is an incredibly attractive quality in itself.
Thanks for writing in and for your great questions.
Hmmm… I understand that men want a woman who is supportive and caring and blah blah… but a woman is also a human being. See! She also has those low moments in life and needs a shoulder to cry on… but what I ve seen in most guys, nowadays they sniff a girl is upset and they run like they dont even know tht girl… guys nowadays seem to need girls who hav absolutely no problms or at least pretends she has none . And at the same time cooks and gives awesome sex and blah blah.. sorry for dragging this and taking your time, but I feel like the gap btw man and women is widening day by day… both seem to be growing more selfish and unattentive of the others needs.. result: we see so many divorces/ breakups… we both are not willing to compromise even a bit…. also! I really dont understand why is it important to sleep with so many women to find the right one… it seems unnecessary and in fact problematic… :/
Why is it problematic? It’s not only the guy who’s seeing other people. The girl’s expected to, too.
Also, in an exclusive relationship, I agree it must be a two-way street in terms of: being honest, not-blaming, having your own life, and seeing the best in each other. In fact, I’d go a step further. The guy should take the lead in filling his woman’s needs. I’m guessing she’ll fill his in return.
Love your blog! Read just about every post and some multiple times.
Have an ebook from Ross Jefferies and also David D, which are a great foundation.
This all came about because a met a real lovely lady a few months ago, who I thought finally would be ‘the one’. After 3 dates she decided there wasn’t enough chemistry, I’d been relegated to ‘friend zone’.
So my search to find out what all the chemistry stuff was, proved that what Ross J and David D said was correct. I was a wussy, came over as needy, too nice. So have started to put some of their ideas into practice.
I’ve been slowly working my charms on a few ladies and when they’ve started to show signs they wanted me, have pushed back. Anyway last weekend it all came to a head with each of them where they were basically demanding sex. So, in a first for me, ended up banging each one in consecutive days. None of them know about the others, which is why I read this post.
I’ll have to see how things play out, but in each case I only want to be polyamorous with them, not get serious.
As an aside, British cockney comedian Micky Flanagan has some brilliant cocky + funny lines.
This clip shows a great one in play right at the beginning with the woman in the front row. I’m sure she has almost juiced herself after he has bantered with her.
(Boots is a pharmacy chain in the UK)
Anyway keep up the good work!
Thanks for the share and the kind words, man! I loved the part of the video when he says “In what world would you think I’d have any interest in your friend’s problems at work?” That made me laugh.
Also, well done in applying this stuff and having that success! You’ve entered the realm of “quality problems.” Haha.
I’ve done polyamory the wrong way and the better way. If your girls don’t know about each other… just know… you may be entering into some troubled waters. If you want to be polyamorous, that’s totally cool. I recommend it. Your girls just need to know that about you, so you don’t lead them on.
Now, ideally it’s best to let them know before sleeping with them, but it sounds like you’ve already slept with them without telling them. I’d recommend telling them as soon as you can. Some might be turned off the learn this so late in the game, some might be okay with it.
I’d tell them exactly what you just told me: “I’m in a dating phase in my life because I just got out of a relationship. I’m not looking for anything serious yet.” Most people will understand and respect that.
Again, congrats on your success. Keep up the awesome work.