The Best Are Strong AND Sensitive
One reason women confuse guys is at one time they say they want the “Bad Boy,” other times they say they want the “Nice Guy.” Well, which is it?
The best PUAs take the most attractive characteristics of the “Bad Boy” and the “Nice Guy,” and discard their most undesirable characteristics.
He takes from the “Bad Boy” assertiveness. The ability to say no and to draw boundaries. He isn’t “nice” with the ulterior motive to get something in return. In fact, he doesn’t give a shit what people think of him. That gives him a sense of social freedom.
That strength and freedom from the “Bad Boy” replaces the needy, weak characteristics of the “Nice Guy.”
But, the best also treat a woman with respect and kindness. He knows how to listen, and to be empathetic. He has a sense of morals and integrity. He might even place importance on developing himself as a human being.
These positive characteristics of the “Nice Guy,” replace the asshole characteristics of the “Bad Boy.”
So, the best PUAs are strong yet sensitive. They’re neither supplicators, nor self-centered pricks.
They also know we humans respond to the “caress” after the “spank.” We must be able to say “No, these are my boundaries” first. He shows the “Bad Boy” first. Then he shows her all the kindness in the world. He knows his woman will be far more responsive to his kindness when he can show his strength first.
The Best Want To Give A Woman An Amazing Experience
The best take women out of the ordinary world and give her an extra-ordinary experience. He wants to create an experience that a woman’ll remember.
He takes her on an adventure, even if it’s in a supermarket. He gives her “peak” experiences, and they create memories–together.
That’s romance, man. The best know women love to be seduced because it makes them feel good. They want to give whatever woman he’s with “feeling good.”
The Best Want To Make A Woman Feel Like A Woman
Connected to creating an experience for a woman, the best want to make women feel beautiful and special. Not in a bullshit way, but honestly.
The best know how to talk to a woman in way that makes her feel and imagine. He helps awaken her deepest desires, and makes her feel sensual. He seduces her mind first because he knows her body will follow.
Also, the best know how to take the lead, so the woman he’s with can sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Giving her “feeling good,” creating an experience for her, taking the lead makes a woman feel like a woman.
The Best Take The Lead
The best are like dancers who take a strong lead on the dance floor. Never in an authoritarian or controlling way. In a way that lets a woman feel free enough to let go and dance.
- If he approaches a woman, he gives (rather than tries to get) and he knows how to take the conversation somewhere.
- If a woman feels shy on a first date, he takes care of the conversation, makes her feel comfortable.
- If he takes a woman on a date, he takes care of the details ahead of time.
- If they’re in the bedroom, he drives her to places she wants to go to.
The Best Give Women Great Sex
The best makes a woman feel relaxed in the bedroom. He creates a safe place for her be sexual. He desires her, wants her. But he also respects her for the unique person she is.
During sex, he’s like a great conversationalist… who listens. He knows he has to listen because each woman is different. Even the same woman is different moment to moment. So, he listens to her, attuned to her signals, the subtle way her thighs open or close, and responds in kind.
He’s also passionate in bed, and isn’t afraid to express it.
He knows a woman’s second biggest sex organ is her skin all over (not her pussy). Before diving into her pussy or feeling up her tits, he plays with her three erogenous zones (that include her lips, her skin–all of it, all the nooks and crannies). Not in a linear way, but in a way that keeps her guessing what’s coming next.
Most importantly, he knows a woman’s largest sex organ is her mind. Even during sex he uses anticipation, his words, his eyes to keep her mind (and heart) engaged.
Speaking of her mind, he knows how to make a woman WANT sex…
The Best Make Her Want Sex
The best don’t need to “take” sex from a woman. They come from an abundance of sex. So, the best want to GIVE. Give a woman the gift of an amazing sexual experience.
The best also know women want sex as much as (if not more than) men. So, they know they don’t have to manipulate, lie, or bullshit a woman into bed. All they have to do is give a woman what she really wants… but before he gives her that, he make her wait.
Attraction turns to desire (or even lust) when we have to wait.
Take, for example, a a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Do I have to manipulate, bullshit, or lie to you for you to take it? Of course not. I just present it. You’d probably grab it, if you wanted it enough.
But if I wanted to make the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup taste even better for you, I’d have you WAIT to get it. The anticipation makes you want it more. When you finally get it, it’ll taste even better.
Likewise, the best PUAs understand the power of anticipation. He doesn’t hand over sex for free to a woman. He makes her WANT it, by making her wait. By giving her a playful challenge. By teasing her.
This challenge, this tease is NOT manipulation. It’s a good story. Good music. Good art. Good sauce. Putting a person on the edge of her seat, lends a sense of the aesthetic, the beautiful, to an experience.
When there’s a journey (NOT only a destination) the sex is waaaaay better.
Again, it’s not manipulation. It’s giving a woman an amazing sexual experience. That she’ll remember. That she’ll want more of. By making sex a bit elusive, by keeping it just out of reach, the sex is more delectable.
It’s an experience BOTH him and his woman want.
The Best Want To Leave A Woman Better Off Than He Found Her
What does it mean to leave a woman better off than we find her? We talked about this in the last installment, but it bears repeating:
- Look for the best in her.
- Give incredible great sex.
- Make memories.
- Give her feeling good with your positive energy.
- Learn who each other is below the surface.
- Perhaps learn about each other’s passion in life, and inspire each other to pursue it.
- Most important, to build her up.
Point is, the best aren’t go-getters. The best are go-givers. But we guys aren’t born knowing how to do this. We have to learn it.
Guys Aren’t Born Knowing How To Do This
That’s where the pickup arts come in. ‘Cause it’s not exactly a skill that’s taught in high school.
It’s not just for the “nerds” or those who feel “insecure” around women to learn. That’s a common misperception. The pickup arts is for every guy to learn. Especially the “jocks” who might think they know it all.
True, “nerds” tend to gravitate to this stuff more, probably because they’re humble enough to learn. But that doesn’t mean the “jocks” can’t learn from these arts as well.
This is for EVERY guy.
Again, it’s not about manipulating, lying, or bullshitting. It’s about being the man, understanding women better in order to treat a woman like a woman.
But you still might ask, WHY does a guy have to learn how to be the man?
Great question. Let me to answer that in part five.
Here’s a hint: All light casts a shadow. Even the light that 1970s feminism gave our culture cast a shadow. The pickup arts addresses that shadow…