First of all, see past her beauty. Behind her beauty she’s just an average girl. With flaws, insecurities, and the desire to feel important. Just like everyone else.
Second, give her the five things every woman wants: laughter, appreciation, emotional connection, feel feminine and beautiful, and great sex.
Third, before having sex get rid of the idea of “slut.” If she’s gonna have sex with you, she’s gotta know you won’t think of her as a slut. You’ll respect her as adventurous, spontaneous, liberated, independent. And you won’t announce it to the world. In other words, make her feel comfortable.
Now, let’s break each of those things down:
1. See Past Her Beauty
The following three sentences are THE key to success in the game.
“I needed to let her know that unlike every other guy in the bar, I am not and will not be intimidated by her looks. Beauty to me was now a shit test: It weeded out the losers who got dumbstruck by it.”
(page 152, “The Game,” by Neil Strauss)
Those three sentences is what’s behind a “Neg,” the “DHV,” and the “Qualifier”:
NEG: “I’m not interested in getting in your pants.” Breaks her “superior” facade because of her beauty. Makes you into a challenge. And makes her laugh.
DHV: self-discloses something cool about yourself. Not trying to “get in her pants.” Talking with her like a human being.
QUALIFIER: “Is there more to you than just your pretty looks?” And it gets her investing in the interaction.
The neg, DHV, and qualifier is all about NOT getting bamboozled by a woman’s beauty. But talking with her as a human being. You’re stronger than the gravitational pull of her beauty. Because it’s just a facade.
2. She’s Just an Average Girl
Speaking of facades, remember behind her beauty, she’s just an average girl.
I learned it from a guy named Rion Williams. Her beauty is bullshit. These are his exact words:
If you cut through the B.S. exterior of a pretty woman’s faux social persona, she’s just an average girl…
You could say it another way…
There’s inherently nothing different between an average looking girl and a really beautiful one. Deep down they are still a woman and need loving.
~Rion Williams, p.227 “Men’s Guide to Women”
Looking beyond her appearance is a HUGE piece in success with women. They’re human beings.
So she’s beautiful. Cool. Whatever. Who is she? Is there more to her than her looks? Does she have a positive outlook? Is she curious about things? What kind of person is she? Who is she underneath?
When you really get down to it, we all humans want the same thing. We want love. We want to love and be loved in return.
Easier said than done. But talk to her as a human being, rather than trying to get into her pants. How? Again, that’s where the neg, the DHV, and the qualifier come in.
3. Four Things Women Need
“First, she needs to feel appreciated for the unique individual that she is. She needs to feel special, unlike any other woman, and she needs to know that her man supports her in her endeavors.
Second, she needs to feel that deep, intimate emotional connection. She needs to have that emotional intimacy with her man. It’s a connection she shares only with him.
Third, she needs to feel like a woman. She needs to feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine. She needs to enjoy all those things that come with being a woman.
Finally, she needs hot, passionate sex. She needs to be seduced, enticed, teased, and satisfied, over and over again. She needs to experience new things, in new ways, including fantasies and roles. It makes her feel desired, affirmed, and alive.”
– David Shade, “The Secrets of Female Sexuality,” p. 51.
I would add a fifth. She needs to laugh and play. She needs to feel positive feelings. Laughter and positive feelings are the feeling of love. At the heart of it all, a woman wants to give and receive love.
This fifth thing is what negs are about… when you banter with her, tease her, and laugh together.
The first need “appreciated” comes after you’ve qualified her. After you qualify, give her a statement-of-interest. Appreciation.
The second need, “emotional connection” is what the comfort phase is about.
The third need, “beautiful, sexy, and feminine” is what foreplay is about. Foreplay isn’t just feeling up her tits. Foreplay makes her feel beautiful, sexy, and feminine ALL DAY LONG. The entire pickup is foreplay.
The fourth need, “passionate sex” is what sex is about.
Everything a woman needs is in the pickup process. That’s why practicing pickup is the best way to be more successful with women. Including handling beautiful women.
4. Slut? No Such Thing
To have sex, she doesn’t want to be seen as a “slut.” And she needs to feel like it “just happened.”
- Make sure you don’t “judge” her as a slut.
- Make sure she knows you’re not going to broadcast everything.
- Make sure she knows you’ll call her again, you’re not using her for sex.
- Make sure she knows she’s getting social value by being with you.
- Take the decision-making process out of her hands. YOU lead the way to sex. So she can tell her friends “it just happened” or “it was his fault.”
- Act like a man with high social-status (see my article on DHV and body language).
- Make it clear you respect women who are adventurous, spontaneous, who love sex.
- Make it clear you think the word “slut” is bullshit. There’s no equivalent word for a man. It’s a double standard.
Slut = moralistic judgment. The sooner you get rid of that thinking, the sooner women will want to fuck your brains out.
Make her feel safe. A no-slut zone does just that.