We don’t have to talk a woman into having sex.
Women love sex! They actually WANT sex.
Only problem is they deal with cultural stuff surrounding sex. More than us. You know, being seen as a “slut.” For us, someone calls us that, it’s almost a compliment.
Why the double-standard?
Women are seen as the “guardians” of sex. I mean, if a woman doesn’t open the “door” to us and we force our way in… well, there are laws against that. Even though she’s got the SAME EXACT desires we have, if she opens the “door” too easily, she gets chastised, ostracized.
At least that’s the story. But to what extent is that story meant to “control” women?
A woman’s sexuality is like an ocean. It’s large, powerful, flowing, changing, receptive. Men take a dip inside and come out limp. Not to mention her sexuality can bring the strongest of us to our knees. Hello Samson. And then of course there are the husbands who’ve historically worried whether his children really are his.
So, to what extent is that word “slut” meant to control women’s sexuality? ‘Cause I don’t see why women can’t enjoy the same freedom to enjoy sex as we do.
Agree with me, disagree with me. I don’t care. My point is this.
One big reason women SEEM like they’re not into sex as much as us is because they have the social consequences to deal with. As well as pregnancy consequences. And even emotional consequences (sex is often an emotional experience for women).
They hide their desires.
Doesn’t mean they don’t want it. ‘Cause they do. Oh, man do they. They just have more stuff to deal with around it than we do. They don’t want to be judged, so they hide it.
“No, no, no, no,” I hear someone saying. “I’ve been with my wife for twelve years and she won’t give me any. How do you explain that?”
Hey, if she has sex out of obligation… Or if sex isn’t fun or pleasurable… of course she won’t want it.
But if she ENJOYS the sex… why would anyone NOT want something that’s pleasurable?
Still don’t believe me? Look at a book like Nancy Friday’s “Secret Garden.”
Nancy Friday is a journalist who had collected women’s most secret sexual thoughts and fantasies. That book’s a collection of women’s fantasies from the mouths of real women.
Read that and you soon see how CRAZY sexual women are.
Not only that, you see a theme. A lot of women’s fantasies have to do with being dominated, “ravaged,” and “taken.” You realize, women don’t just love sex, they love to get FUCKED!
What does that mean?
#1. Don’t Be Judgmental.
Never EVER pass judgment on her sexuality. It’s GREAT that she’s sexual! Love it. Let her be free. Make her feel comfortable letting go and being so sexual with you.
The more comfortable she is letting go (because she knows you won’t judge her), the more comfortable she’ll be to unleash the sexual BEAST inside of her.
And really… Is there anything more beautiful than a woman in ecstasy?
I know. Of course there isn’t.
#2. Attitude — She Wants You
You already have what she wants. You have a cock. She wants that, man.
So, you never have to talk a woman into sex. You never have to kiss her ass. You never have to spend loads of money in order to “get” sex from her.
After you make her feel comfortable with sex, all you’ve gotta do is turn her on. Believe me, she’ll want it then.
Well how do you do that?
#3. GIve Her Sex She ENJOYS
Turn on her mind. Her mind is her largest sex organ. Turn on her mind, and her body will follow.
That means physical sex techniques won’t turn her on alone. You’ve gotta also use psychological sex techniques. Those are even more important.
What are psychological sex techniques? Turning on her mind. Meaning…
- First, you’ve gotta shut off the “slut” threat inside her, and make her feel comfortable giving herself to you. One prime way to make her feel comfortable: massages. Give her a massage. Even better? A leg and foot massage. Most guys, including myself, forget to massage a woman’s lower body. But relaxing her lower body goes a loooong way to relaxing her whole body.
- Second, you’ve gotta make her feel beautiful and sexy and desirable. That means getting completely and totally turned on by her. In addition, she’s gotta feel liked not just for her looks, but for her as a HUMAN BEING. Complicated? Check.
- Third, you’ve gotta spend plenty of time with foreplay. Her second biggest sex organ is her skin all over. Her va-jay-jay comes in third place. So, spend time exploring her skin all over before touching her sexual bits and pieces. This teases her, and turns her mind on even more.
Man, let me tell you. She’ll be wet and BEGGING you for sex. Ha!
#4. FUCK her.
But you don’t always have to make “sweet love” to her.
Of course women enjoy that. But once you’ve got the water boiling, women ALSO love getting raunchy, animalistic, naughty. They love dirty talk, being taboo, being dominated.
Women are horny, man, HORNY.
Well, how do you “take” her?
- Talk dirty
- Make noise (be expressive, not just silent)
- Pull her hair
- Pin her hands behind her head
- Slap her ass
- Feel her breasts
- Pick her up
- Bend her over
- Throw her on the bed
- Fuck her pussy
GET IN TOUCH WITH THE ANIMAL WITHIN. Dominate her. ENJOY her.
Now, ladies come first. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.
But I even hesitate writing that. I mean, definitely let a girl come before you. And if you come before she does, make sure to take care of your girl. But great sex isn’t just about the orgasm. A TOY can make her come for God’s sakes.
Great sex is more about paying attention to her.
And connecting with her. It’s like the old saying: the journey’s more important than the destination.
Let me tell you a quick story about this.
I had sex with this BEAUTIFUL girl who eventually became my girlfriend. One night we were reminiscing about the first time we had sex. I’ll never forget what she said: “I don’t even remember whether I had an orgasm or not, but I just remember the sex being REALLY good.”
Why? I had paid attention to her.
Now, there were other times I had sex with her and tried too hard to give her orgasm. And you know what? She DID have an orgasm. But the sex wasn’t as good. Go figure.
So, orgasms are cool but even more important to having great sex: paying attention to the way her body responds moment-to-moment, rapport, making her feel beautiful and liked as a human being. AND also TAKING her, DESIRING her, ENJOYING her.
Then after it’s all done, making her feel beautiful.
Yes, again. “I can’t hold you close enough”… a satisfying ending will ensure she’ll be coming back to you for more.
My point is simple. She WANTS sex and she WANTS to be taken. So TAKE her!
Unleash her ocean of sexuality. And make her feel good about it along the way.
Um. Yes, please. Well said.
i like you
yes that’s true about women
Right? Tell me about it!
The truth is women like to be fucked,but they are too sensitive since they hate humiliation.the how they have brought up culture wise; contribute the responds physically to sexual activity. They may due to culture pretends not having interest in being fucked,yet deep in their innerself have fantasis about being man handled. Respect,time and honesty can bring them out of that captivity. Secondly,woman need to be fucked but hide that from expressing the feeling due to the past experiences;namely : a rude man accusing a woman from her positive actions or trying to initiate during sex of being a prostitute. In some other instances a man a criticize a woman during sex,accusing her to be too damp. Woman are sensitive beings and hate to be humiliated.they will make sure humiliation never happen again by closing up to expression of their feeling,and pretend everything that the man bring at whatever time its ok,but burning inside with the desire.
That can be solved by building trust,make big friends with her,communicate and let her talk most, she will surprise you by showing to you how she liked sex and how she had starved.
All women like to be FUCKED,to be man handled. Men must take serious precautions in approaching this female genders,they have more sexual energy and creative when it comes to sex.
Very nice article.
Hey man, I appreciate that mucho.
My Secret Garden is on my desk and I read it daily!
Haha nice! I love that book. Isn’t it fantastic?
Where are you at and and what town are you in and are you shy
Hey Daniel, I’m in New England. At heart, I’m an introverted person, but through pickup I’ve learned to become more outgoing. Now people often think I’m extroverted though, again, I’m still very much an introvert. Pickup definitely helped me grow in that regard.
Bet you be great anywhere a woman who loves likes it and emjoys Even at the office I want one lol
CAWhite, you are hot!!!
i love women
Good for you. I think we all do. They inspire, right?
Such bullshit. I had a girlfriend who loved to get fucked several times a day but she NEVER asked for it. I got her in the mood and made her orgasm several times. The last time we fucked she sat on the floor balled up just holding herself saying that it was the best thing she ever felt. But even with that she moved on to someone else who couldn’t satisfy her like I did.
My wife only likes getting fucked after I spend an hour or more working on her, masturbating her and getting her to climax before I ever stick my dick in her. Yes she moans and when I ask if she had an orgasm she says which time but still it takes a very long time to get her to that point and she NEVER asks to get fucked. She NEVER initiates sex so your stories based on my experience with two completely different women who are 10 years apart in age.
So, which part is bullshit? I didn’t say women always initiate sex. I said they love to get fucked.
Testosterone is the aggressive sex drive, estrogen is the inviting sex drive. So, of course she’s not gonna be aggressive in initiating sex. That’s our job.
So, initiate. Fuck her good. And be damn proud of it.
She isn’t comfortable saying things then. I use to be that way. Then I was with a guy that talked dirty to me that changed. So did the sex.
@Phuq Obama. I think your’re full of shit with your stories. If your girlfriend left you, it’s because you suck in bed, and she had to fake it, which women often do, when their partner is a dud in bed.
where you from im from modesto cali. hit me up if your close by. 209-252-4272
I reject the OP as BS.
Off the cuff…
Female: 100? eggs in lifetime, lower testosterone, dull fullness for sensation of invagination, coitus is the equivalent of a man’s first visit to proctologist: embarassment, anxiety, not pain but uncomfortable, hoping quick ending and no return visit.
Male: Millions of sperm per day seeking release, high testosterone for libido/aggression, vagina feels like heavenly warm swaddling in velvet/silk/satin advancing over the length of penis, coitus is attack, massage, release.
Which of the two do you think really wants to get laid ?
It’s black&white / night&day.
And the “some” women this, “some” women that arguments don’t necessarily imply that “some” is a significant proportion.
Ever so often someone tries to recycle this BS when experience since time immemorial before social mores has shown… men pushed for / women resisted sex.
Female sex is means to an end… husbanding(launch/maintain/evaluate) a relationship.
Male sex is its own reward.
In a nut shell.
That’s okay if you want to disagree with me. But just as a warning, this is conventional wisdom. It’s what I wanted to dismantle in this article.
But don’t take my word for it. Ask women themselves (rather than theorize). I think you’ll see many love sex–especially when it’s pleasurable.
And it is fitting to use the qualifier “some” women because they’re not a monolith. Just as guys have different levels of sex drive, so do women.
Let me reiterate this point: if a guy cares about a woman’s experience so she’s enjoying sexual pleasure, I’m not sure how a woman wouldn’t enjoy it. That would be sexual pleasure.
This is on point. At least for me except I ALWAYS initiated and I’m getting tired of that! There’s time we’re i tell him what exactly what I want but doesn’t really go that way and Iam unsatisfied…
Thank-you for saying that and for taking the time to comment. It always helps to have a female perspective.
It’s unsatisfying for a woman to do all the initiating. One other reason for this might be because part of turning a woman on is desiring her. So, when we initiate sex it shows our woman how much we desire her.
The funny thing is not only does it turn out to be more satisfying for a woman if we initiate, but I find it’s waaay more fun, too. It just makes you feel more like the man.
This is true, and yet not universal. I have had plenty of experiences where a woman initiated the experience (granted, only one when this was also the first time!), and was very happy with the outcome. The situation I speak of is where she is viewing you as a challenge, is chasing you, and sees the conquest as her accomplishment. I usually achieve this by giving her enough hints that I am popular with women (not by intent, but just as it naturally happens in conversations) and she quickly jumps to her own conclusions and attempts to prove herself to be better.
That makes sense when you’ve had sex for the first time. And it’s great to have your girl initiate sex sometimes when you’re in a long-term relationship. But it’s not so great when you’re in a long-term relationship and it’s ONLY your girl who’s initiating sex. That’s not so good.
This is a good article
This is the case for single women but is the same information true when In a relationship for ten years
Oh, hell yeah. In fact, the guy I learned this stuff from, David Shade, talks mostly about a woman a man’s been with for like ten years… and giving her mad, wild, crazy pleasure. When I said, “give her sex she enjoys” this very, very much applies to a long-term relationship.
I am a girl and a virgin.. having read your articles, I feel like I am missing out on a lot.. cant wait to have sex with a good looking man..lol… I am curious as to how one feels at the end of it though.. worn out? Sleepy? By the way I love men and it melts my insides when I see a man and picture whats going on in his head . Especially if he gives me that particular sexy smile or stare.. do u think I am ready for sex? Lol.. I am in my mid 20s :p
Um, definitely. You’ve probably been ready for a while. I’m curious, what made you wait this long?
As for what if feels like at the end… it’s one of the best parts of sex. There’s this afterglow where you feel closer than you did before. I usually feel like I can’t hold my girl close enough. And you feel like you don’t even have to talk, just bask in all the good feelings you’ve created with each other. If you do end up talking, it’s as if you can open your hearts to each other. It’s wonderful.
By the way, thanks for your comment. I’m glad you found me, but, again out of curiosity, how did you?
Lol how did I what? 🙂
Hey Renaissan.. I have a bit of a problem here.. I have always been the shy type.. but on the other hand I have always wanted to be the kinda girl guys like the most.. but for sone reason, guys who dont know me dont seem to be interested in me.. maybe bcoz I m too skinny and look too young for my age.. guys 10-15 yrs younger tend to flirt with me and I hate this.. the kinf of guys I like- the manly ones- wont so much as look at me twice. They always stare at the hotter more confident friends of mine who are ironically younger than me but look older 🙁 I am the shy type and keep my gaze low. I cant stare at guys or smile at them like my friends do.. but this duznt mean I dont wana be noticed. No matter what I wear , I end up looking decent at best. I dont think I ll ever look hot or sexy while in reality, my mind and my thoughts are probably sexier than other girls out there .lol.. can you give a guys perspective on this? What attracts you guys ? Are u guys only into hot girls who give you smiles or show you skin? What do you guys think about shy girls? And whats even more frustraing is the fact that I am attracted to the pua playboy type guys, (never dated someone like that in real though).. while all those friends of mine who can easily attract puas are hunting for decent guys.. I just dont get it 🙁
Marry him first. Unmarried sex is never as good. Do your best to find a man who hasn’t been sampling other women. Sex is not something to practice with other people before marriage. Believe me, I’ve been there. All these people who advise and encourage you to fornicate for a while, to try several out before you settle down, are trying to justify themselves to themselves for their immoral behavior.
We are not dogs, horses or swine. They have a sex urge that is entirely driven by their glands. They have no idea what sex is for, only that they have an urge and that it feels good to satisfy it. They have not a clue that there is any connection between relieving their sex urge and procreation. We do, and are constantly trying to avoid the procreation part, especially after we have proven that our gonads work.
You don’t, or shouldn’t if you are wise, accept a man who regards you as a warm piece of meat to jack off into. Words are cheap. Conduct is telling.
Harry is a woman pretending to be a man, and “his” mind has been perverted by what is known as the “reproduction bias.” It’s an idea promoted by false/toxic religion (mind you, not all religion is toxic), that sex is ONLY for procreation. It’s actually for pleasure too, as the Creator intended. Ignore unhappy fucks like Harry. Explore your sexuality according to your comfort zone, and let the Bible-thumpers go fuck themselves.
Holy Mackeral Dear you are more than ready, start enjoying it. Life is too short, from someone who has desire but not the ability anymore.
I’m not exactly sure what this means but thank-you for the comment!
Think 10 times before
Mid twenties and have not had sex?? WHAT are you waiting for?? PLENTY of men would LOVE to introduce you to pleasure like you will love! Go easy the first time and after that you will crave it so much. My ex girlfriend always wanted me to act like a rapist and force her and then take her roughly. She LOVED it ! 75% of the time, this is how she wanted it, hard and pretty rough but no hurting her. You should have been done in your mid teens like most girls.
Whoa. I’m not sure who this reply was meant for, but no need to get judgmental. We’re all in different stages of development, and that’s okay. Don’t forget that Mystery was a virgin until his twenties. It’s never too late to learn.
Women have a fucked up way of expressing what they want.
No, you need to become a nun.
You sound like you’re taking your own bitterness and unhappiness out onto other people to make yourself feel superior. The irony is that kind of behavior makes a person appear small-minded instead. If you’re going to respond to other people’s comments, please do so with respect.
@curious: how did you find me? This website
Ummm… I was always curious about the pickup community..how a pickup artists mind works.. why he does what he does.. so it led me here 🙂
But there’re so many pickup sites out there. How’d you find this one?
Well I dont rember exactly.. I was googling pickup communities.. and ur page popped up in the search as far as I gather… I liked the layout of your website.. it was better than those other pua forums which were all full of text really..hehe
Well, I’m glad you found me! And I appreciate you reading.
By the way, speaking about how a pickup artist’s mind works: there are sketchy pua’s out there and there pua’s who see pickup as a way a man can better himself.
Now, even though there’re lots of differences in the way a pua’s mind works, there’s probably one thing we all have in common. Before we found pickup most of us felt unattractive, and lost with women. The art of pickup gave us a beacon of hope. Basically, we wanted to feel loved.
However after learning the art, some use the knowledge for ego reasons. You know, sleep with as many women as possible and brag about it afterwards: “Look how awesome I am.”
But the best pua’s are the ones who use the arts not to get love or to get women, but to give love, to know himself better, and to become a better man. I hope this blog falls into that last category.
If you have any other questions about how a pua’s mind works, please don’t hesitate to ask. I would love to answer them. Thanks again for reading.
Whatever you did in that last message to me worked. I’m curious about you. I’m a pua and you’ve attracted me. You’re skinny, look young, have a sexy mind, but you’re shy. You sound like an attractive woman who doesn’t know she’s attractive. Which makes you even hotter.
And I hate to give you this other answer that might be a cop-out, but whatever. A sexy mind with an decent appearance trumps a smoking-hot appearance with an okay sexy mind. Every time. In other words, having a sexy mind makes you sexier than your mentally unsexy friends.
Here’s another cop-out answer: “different strokes for different folks.” I happen to like shy girls who are secretly sexy but are slightly under-confident. That attracts me personally to no end. So, if you’re not attracting the kind of guy who you want to be attracted to, that’s his loss, and he deserves it.
But I want to give you a non-cop-out answer, too. To make yourself more attractive to the kind of guy you want to be attracted to, I’d have to see a pic. Guys get attracted visibly, so I’d have to see what you look like to give you the best answer. Send me see a pic. I’m at email@example.com, or you can friend me on Facebook “Renaissan Pua.”
Oh, and one last thing. Being a pua and a decent guy aren’t mutually exclusive. 😉
Lol. Thnx for all the cop-out and non-cop-out answers 🙂 I am very moody too.. sometimes I think about these things (sex etc) all the time for many days in a row.. and other days, I dont even wana hear or think about it. It disgusts me 🙁 about the pic, I am a good looking person thank God :p but guys dont seem to go for looks.. they notice girls who flirt with them. Invite them.. I feel like guys dont want to trouble themselves by going after apparently shy or uninterested girls.. maybe bcox they have sooo many options available these days.. anyways I hope I didnt waste much of ur tym. By the way, I looked you up on facebook . U are with a very average chick in ur profile picture :p I expected better from you..lol
Um, that girl is hot. She’s a model, an artist, a writer, she’s sexual and sexy. Did you send me a friend request? And what happened to my pic?
Umm I hv sent u my pic on ur facebook inbox :p
You are absolutely adorable. Thanks for sending me the pic. I think I’ve got a better answer to your question now…
And what is that answer? :p
Showing your personality.
It’s funny because that’s exactly what the pickup arts do for us guys. They take shy guys that girls would otherwise overlook and they teach a guy to bring out his personality.
Another funny thing: personality comes from the Greek word “persona,” for mask. Whether right or wrong, it seems like we human-beings are “attracted” to the kind of mask we put on to the world.
You’re VERY pretty, but if a girl who had your looks had her eyes downcast or she wasn’t smiling, a guy may not notice her. Her mask might blend into the background.
But if your face were bright and smiling and laughing it’s almost as if a person turned on lights inside her house. Your mask would become more approachable. And guys would be drawn to you like moths to a flame.
I’m like you. I’m shy. Before pickup, I was frustrated because I was overlooked by girls so much. Couldn’t they see the good I offered?
When I learned pickup I learned to bring out my persona. Things changed. I was the same exact person, but by tweaking my “mask”… making eye contact, smiling, laughing, spreading some cheer, getting curious about people… girls seemed to notice me more.
If you raised your gaze and smiled, I wonder what would happen next…
I think puas are nice guys from the inside.. yes, I am shy like you once were.. but I wouldnt change that even if it would guarantee sending the smartest guys my way.. I dont know why.. it is probably bcoz I am a girl but I dont like sleeping with too many people idea.. I understand that for men, it could mean completely different.. I like attention like all human beings.. I hate feeling ignored.. maybe it is bcoz I am very competetive by nature.. its not only about guys..I want to excel in everything.. but that does NOT include sleeping with many people.. I think that is unnecessary even if it is fun.. I think you are an amazing guy and there should be more to your life than attracting all the girls on the planet in a sexual way.. we cant and shouldnt go on having sec with every person we meet or everyone we like.. we have to set some boundaries.. even though we might like to do it in imagination.. lol… I also heard puas hate women.. and that rejection makes men sore and bitter and vengeful towards women.. I feel sorry when I hear that.. I also got sort of rejected once, but I havent made attracting all guys on earth the sole purpose of my life.. seems like puas are insecure from the inside.. I have only one problem with puas: why do they sleep with random women? It makes me uncomfortable when I think that is what puas actually do.. no matter how good looking or cool or funny or smart or sexy they are, they have slept with so many different women.. ewww.. I wouldnt want such man to be my husband or boyfriend despite the fact that I am attracted to them.. :/ :p
Let me back up…
I just read my last comment to you and I wish I could rewrite it. You’re right to respond the way you did. It almost sounded like “here are some things to change about you.” I am so sorry for implying that. There’s nothing “wrong” with you, you don’t have to change a thing. I think I was responding to your initial question, but that’s still no excuse. My apologies.
With that said, let me respond to some of the stereotypes of puas that you hinted at. Those stereotypes aren’t true. Puas don’t hate women. We’re not bitter or vengeful towards them. I know I’m not. I LOVE women. And the pickup arts is less about sleeping with lots of women and more about becoming a better man that can attract a woman he likes naturally.
While we’re on the subject of sleeping with every women under the sun, that’s not true either. I advocate a guy having standards, and sleeping with a woman only if he genuinely likes her and wants to see her again. There are definitely ethical boundaries when it comes to sex.
Again, if I hadn’t written the comment in the way I had, you may not have written all that about the puas. So, I’ll take responsibility for that. I think you’re an awesome girl. You don’t have to change a thing.
I think we dragged this conversation too far.. ur second last message was not offensive at all .. we should all help each other improve and point out our flaws. However I do think most pua guys seem average guys who have put on a mask as u said… to attract better looking or quality girls.. isnt that sort of stupid? You are pretending to be someone you actually are not- only to get into someones pants ( or lets say spend time with them).. I believe puas could do a better job by improving themselves, by focusing on themselves, and by being content with what life is offering to them.. if they improve themselves without the intention of attracting quality girls, they ll naturally attract the right person without having to approach groups of girls with rehearsed sentences and tricks. Yes, men should initiate..but not with the intention the puas do. They should genuinely want to be with the person and not use that interaction as a tool to improve their success rate or give boost to their egos!
Agreed. And I don’t talk about using pickup to boost the ego or getting into people’s pants. God, no. I talk about using pickup as means to gaining self-confidence and becoming a more excellent man who attracts women naturally.
The “mask” comment was an observation about human nature. We see what appears to us. Knowing this, we can bring out our best selves to the surface. For example: smiling, looking presentable, making strong eye contact. It’s not about “pretending.” It’s about being more self-aware and being a more effective communicator.
Hello i found your site by a search stating men who want to fuck. Sounds a little naughty but its hot to have a man just for sex.
Thank-you! You just reiterated my point. Women are super sexual too. And a man who WANTS his woman is a turn-on. This female perspective helps a lot. Thanks for this comment, Karen.
Came across this when I googled “women who love getting fucked” ???? Every man should read this.
You just made my week. Thank-you!
What you’re really saying is that women WANT to be “raped.” Not beaten, Clintoned,* threatened with death, or otherwise actually harmed. Just take a glance at all the women’s porn in the store checkout lanes. Harlequin romances. No serious bruises, certainly none that show when she’s dressed. Just forced a little. Warmed up with a little alcohol, not enough to get really drunk and sloppy, just enough to loosen up her inhibitions. It’s about guilt. If she can pretend to herself that it wasn’t her idea to fornicate, it’s all your fault, because you’re a bastard.
At any time before you’re depositing your cream in her love tunnel, if she says, “No. I don’t want to go all the way, stop,” stop. If she says, “Please pull out,” pull out. Don’t act like a little boy who got his ice cream cone taken away after he’s had a lick. Back off a little and be nice to her. She probably wants to talk. Most women want to talk. Not about anything, just talk. It goes with the turf. She probably just needs to deal with some guilt or anxiety. She may zero in on getting pregnant or some such, but it’s probably something else. She’ll probably warm up again in a little while. DON’T roll over and fall asleep unless she does. If she goes to sleep, it means she has invested at least a little trust in you. Cuddle up behind her and put your arm over her. Play with her hair. Don’t mess with her breasts. When you are about to fall asleep, just put your wrist between her breasts. For goodness’ sake, don’t fuck her while she’s asleep. Spend as much of the night with her as you can. She may be ready to fuck in the morning.
I just want to be clear. I am NOT saying women want to be raped. Rape is non-consensual sex. In this post I’m talking about CONSENSUAL sex. When the sex is consensual, sex can be passionate. Rape is a terrible, horrible thing. For anyone who rapes, they deserve the bad consequences that come to them.
Married 40 years, here is what I have discovered. My wife got involved with a friend of mine from the wrong side of the tracks. It caused a lot of shit in our marriage. My response, after thinking about it a great deal was he represented something she wanted and wasn’t getting. So I went in search and discovered everything I have ever believed about women is wrong. They like candy and flowers, but while you are writing love poems, the cable guy is fucking your wife in the ass. What women want is for a man to act like a MAN. They want us to be dominating, controlling, masculine, demanding. They like to be hurt a little (remember they bleed when they get their cherries popped and they scream and bleed again when they give birth. They are designed to be hurt for our pleasure and service and to associate pain with the best things in life. If you treat them soft they will feel contempt for you and go searching for a man to rock their world). They like to be sexually pushed hard. They want us to fuck them like we own them. They want us to fuck them like we hate them. It is paradoxical, and it took me some time to get up the courage to go down that path, but turns out, that path was the street where her orgasms lived. Now I pull her hair, spank her, choke her, tell her how tight her cunt feels and announce to her that I am about to “bust a nut” in her pussy. She gets hot and wet and loves it and the harder and dirtier I fuck her, the faster she drops her panties next time. She pretty much blows me on demand in bed and I am still pushing the envelope with her. Ride them hard and put them up wet. You can’t be too dominant and demanding in bed with a woman. They were built for it. Here’s a true fact; genetically, women are closer to apes than they are to men. Women, beautiful, sweet women, are the highest state in the Animal Kingdom, walking, talking, smart sex animals. Treat them like queens out of the bedroom and own them like whores in the sack. And they will love you for it and never go looking outside of marriage; they will have what they want. I speak from experience.
Only thing I would add is there’s also a time and place for the soft, sweet, and romantic too. Being the man is important. But so is sensitivity and being in tune with her.
I always give my asshole and pussy to my boyfriend everyday and life’s great!
You are awesome. And your boyfriend is a lucky man.
Ok! This blog should be linked to each single Web mostly visited by guys… ..lol
Uuuuum…. you are the shit for saying that! You just made my day, Anna. Thank-you.
Enjoyed your thoughts.
As an over 40 yr old woman I can give you my opinion. I love men who are confident. While I do not appreciate control or force, nothing is sexier than having a man show me he wants me in his bed. When my current boyfriend doesn’t provide communication or show me his desire for me, I wonder if he’s no longer interested.
That being said having a man “take me”, shows me his desire for me.
Show your woman you want her or risk losing her to someone who does.
This is FANTASTIC! Such an important insight to remember: “Nothing is sexier than having a man show me he wants me in bed… having a man ‘take me’ shows me his desire for me.” Thank-you for sharing the female perspective. Invaluable.
Hello… I just stumbled upon this link. Let me agree with you on the point of expression of sexual desires by a woman. The whole social knitting makes us behave and present in certain ways to the so called social ethics, morals and decorum. It would be a freedom if they don’t have to wear a mask. They may not choose to have random sex, but choice should be personal. And only if world can be non-judgemental about her expressions of her desires, sexuality, needs and her likes and dislikes, it will be a freedom of a long caged bird!
The other night I was playing with my wife and I notice when I was down on her pussy she ask me play with her anal and she clean before so I went there and lick and it she loves it when I put my finger in it then she let put my cock in it
Nice! Sounds like you’ve got a good woman there. 😉 And it’s awesome both of you are willing to try new things in bed.
Awweee ????????????that so true. Love your article. Btw. XD
DareenSleeper13, I started my day by opening your comment and you just made my day. Thank-you for taking the time to say that. And it helps reinforce for guys reading this when a woman says, “right on!” Thanks again.
Dude I love this article!!!! Me and my girlfriend have great sex especially when i do what she likes and feel her up and run my finger down her smooth legs down to her toes. Feeling her body against mine and just bending her over and Fucking the demon soul out of her while i grab her hips and and ass This article needs to be more wide spread. I found this page due to a curious and googling why woman love sex and how they feel about it haha. KUDOS on the great article ! 🙂
AWESOME! Thanks for the kudos man. Comments like yours make writing articles like this worthwhile (and may also help make them more widespread). By the sound of it, you know what you’re doing. It also sounds like you found a great woman, too. Jeez, no wonder the sex is great! Thanks again for the comment.
For me at least is not that I reject sex because I may be perceived as a whore but because I know that the sex wouldn’t be good at the beginning of a relationship (especially at one night stands, because the man can’t know already what you like). I just can’t understand the women who have one night stands. It has to exist some sort of connection.
But I agree with every single word you said in your article. I also think that you’re awesome in bed!
P.S. Sorry for any mistakes, English isn’t my first language.
This is a FASCINATING insight!
First, it’s hard to understand why a woman would have a one night stand unless she felt some sort of connection. Guys are probably more likely to have a one night stand if a woman just “looks good,” or if she shows interest in him. But if what you’re saying is true of other women, women would like to feel a connection before having sex.
This is such an important point. Women want to feel a connection with their man. So, we guys must remember to make a true, honest-to-God connection with the women we like.
Your other fascinating point is, a woman might hesitate having a one night stand because, how could this “strange” guy possibly know what this particular woman likes? That can make first-time sex awkward. I find this point fascinating because it helps me better understand where a woman is coming from when she hesitates to have “first time sex.”
But I’ve got to say, one of the joys for me in first-time sex is the adventure of learning about this new woman and her particular likes. Also, even though all women are different I’ve found there may be “five principles” a guy can follow that might help him allay some of that awkwardness. If you’d like to check what those five things are, it’s over here: https://whetyourwoman.com/sex-tips/the-five-principles-of-female-pleasure. Tell me if you agree or disagree. I’d love to hear this from a woman’s point-of-view.
And thank-you for the kind words! You’re right, I am pretty awesome in bed. 😉 In truth, I’m still learning how to be better in bed, and have much room for growth. But I do know it takes “two to tango,” so great sex isn’t about performance. And I know love the woman I’m with and I enjoy the hell out of her.
Thank-you so much for your excellent comment!
The description is perfect!
If I would have read this a few years ago or more I would have laughed and said it’s not true.
Now that I have gotten to know MYSELF and what I want what you’ve said here is true. If anyone says otherwise then they haven’t explored themselves.
Oh my God Amy, you truly, truly made my day with this comment. Thank-you.
My Amazing Hot Wife and I have been together for 9+ years. I knew her for a few years before we started dating as our sons played sports and went to school together. She always came across (and still does) as the PERFECT sweet innocent smart funny Beautiful Professional LADY…. which she IS!!
Once we started dating I found out she LOVES Sex as much as I do!! She LUVS to “Get Fucked”!!! WE have been active in the Swinging Lifestyle for over 8.5 years. Our trust, passion and FUN together gets better everyday!!
We LUV Groups, Gangbangs, Toys, Public Sex, Lifestyle Clubs, Lifestyle Cruises, Resorts, and of Course… Vegas!! It’s just another way for us to have FUN and Always Together. We LUV Talking Dirty and Fucking HARD and Rough!! It Surprises a lot of people when this sweet looking Thin BEAUTIFUL Blonde tells them that “I like to know I’m getting Fucked!! I don’t want no “butterfly kisses”. Just be HARD and Fuck me that way”!! LOL
I always say when I started dating her that I won the “Life (& Sex) Lottery”!!
Wow! You DEFINITELY won the lottery. You have what’s called a keeper. lol. Sounds like she’s found a keeper in you, too.
The moment you say, “All men want,” “All women want,” “All women are,” “All men are,” you are about to voice absolute idiocy. Many women do. Some women don’t. Women, like men, are individuals. Get over your “everybody is just like me” complex.
Hi Jeff, thanks for your comment. In many cases I’d say you’re right. But I make this claim for two reasons.
a) I’m challenging conventional wisdom that women generally don’t desire sex as much as men.
b) All women have a sex (as all people do), all women enjoy pleasure (as all people do), so why wouldn’t all women enjoy sexual pleasure (as all people do)?
Besides, if it’s true that all absolutes lead to absolute idiocy (as you seem to imply), then wouldn’t that claim itself be absolute idiocy?
a real feeling of sex
a real feeling of love
Amen to that brotha!
My girlfriend always says she works all the time and is too tired for sex. What do I do? She treats sex as a have to not a want to.
She might not be enjoying the sex in some way (there may be some kind of “pain”). This isn’t necessarily your fault. She might not feel attractive, she might be stressed, she might feel like sex is too much work. Without knowing any specifics, it’s hard for me to give an answer.
I would suggest having a talk with her and finding out where she’s coming from. Once you discover understand what’s going on, then see if you can address it. Don’t be afraid to dig if she gives you those flippant answers like “everything’s fine.” Tell her you think she’s beautiful and you love having sex with her and you care about her experience.
Feel free to circle back here once you have more details about where she’s coming from, and we can problem-solve together if you’d like.
Thanks for reading this blog and for writing in, Roland.
I love have sex.i love watching movie
Cool. What’s your point?
This article rings very true for me.
Music to my ears! Thanks so much for taking the time to write in this comment.
She looks hot and horney
Who are you talking about?
i wil gv the best enjoyment
I am lonely need a ladie
If that’s true, learn some of this stuff on this site, get out of the house, and practice it. I guarantee you won’t feel lonely anymore, you’ll meet A LOT of women, and your life might even change for the better…
If you don’t know where to start, I would start with the quick “Attraction” articles under the “Categories” tab, and then read the “Top Ten Mistakes Men Make with Women.” Those give a great overview. Finally I have an article about “How to Practice.” Use that to help you implement this stuff. You can then use this website as a resource for any sticking points you might have. (I layout this game plan in a little more detail with links on the home page of this site: http://whetyourwoman.com.)
Thanks for visiting Luis, and let me know if you have any questions on your journey. I’d be very happy to help.
I want to make a good woman vim hard!
I’m glad to hear you want to please your woman!
Please give me a call or text me
I love it
Thanks my man!
Too bad about the double standards. Not certain anyone truly knows. Unfortunately, my experiences are vast and my fulfillment is non-existent. To date, I still do not know what women want. This spans 37 years of trying.
Agreed, Burt. The philosopher Kant would add we’re unknown even to ourselves. The inner landscape of any person is a mystery.
i want to sax
Don’t we all.
I love it
Glad to hear it. Thank-you Prinshu!
Wow, how did you as a man just explain how I as a woman feels deep down about sex? I’m not accustomed to men having the understanding demonstrated in your article and it makes me really happy. But also kind of sad. I felt so trapped most of my life, policed and shamed over my sexuality constantly and I never got to explore it. I’m in my thirties and I know I’m very attractive because I receive a lot of male attention but I was married right out of high school. I’m ashamed to say I often feel as though I’ve missed out on something. I LOVE my husband, and I enjoy sex with him but I feel like I’ve molded myself to fit his needs. It’s not his fault and I feel terrible. The problem is I’ve tried to express a desire for new things, but only things I know he won’t dissaprove of or judge me for. Even when he says he likes the idea he doesn’t really act on it. And I’ve asked for foreplay first, even just a little but that doesn’t happen either. What can I do to communicate better with him and get what I want from sex too?
Vague, this is a GREAT question, and I’m not sure if I have the answer.
Women often have molded themselves to fit their husband’s needs but later their own needs aren’t met. Sometimes we also end up with someone who might not fit us 100% sexually. There’s NO reason to feel terrible about this. And it sounds like you’ve made some great efforts to rectify things.
Here’s a brainstorm of some other possible ideas of what to do:
1. “I love when you do that.”
Next time he does something you enjoy, tell him “I love when you do that.” Guys WANT to please their women. So, this might help encourage him to keep doing that things you like.
2. Communication Activity–“Sharing Secrets”:
I got from this game from the book The Threesome Handbook by Vicki Vantoch. It doesn’t have to be used to discuss threesomes–it works great for discussing anything. It’s like the game “Truth or Dare,” without the dare. Here’s how to play:
Each person spends 10 minutes sharing a secret. Rules: 1) honesty, 2) each person gets the floor without interruption or judgment, 3) the secret stays in that room.
Nothing interesting may come up at first, but with time it may create a safe place for listening and expressing concerns and fantasies.
3. Watch a porn together:
Everyone knows guys like porn. So, I wonder if you could invite him to watch porn together. You might allow him to pick a porn to watch, then show him one that turns you on. Here are a couple of sites of free porn geared specifically towards women: https://www.bellesa.co and https://www.welovegoodsex.com. Maybe after watching a video you picked, your husband might have a visual to model himself after.
4. Share a book or product:
I’m not sure how comfortable you might be in giving a book to him as a gift or maybe even reading a book together. If you’re comfortable with this idea, here are some books that have personally helped me learn to give women what they “secretly” want:
Book found on Amazon:
Enlightened Sex, by David Deida
Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, by Tom Leonardi
How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time, by Nora Hayden
Products found on the internet:
Sexual Mastery or Revolutionary Sex, by Alex Allan (https://www.revolutionarysex.com/about-alex-allman)–highly recommended.
Bring Out Her Inner Slut (http://masterful-lover.com/product/bring-out-her-inner-slut), by David Shade–not as sure about this specific product but I have learned a lot from David Shade.
Finally, if nothing else works, maybe suggesting a counselor. You might tell him it’s to help strengthen your relationship even more. Here’s a website of a psychotherapist with some kick-ass tips: http://www.churchofsoul.org (another good site might be http://www.lovewithoutlimits.com and there’s a web site about nonviolent communication at: http://www.cnvc.org). Those are some DIY counseling ideas. But another idea might be to go to a local workshop or counselor together…
Like I said, it’s not an easy situation to be in. And I appreciate you asking. Please let me know if any of these ideas or resources help. I’d love to hear how you’re doing. And thank-you for your kind words.
Then they Dont know themselves. That’s true.
We’re no different as we tend to not know ourselves either. The inner landscape is a mysterious one.
I like that,it’s actually damn good to know that a woman is confident about her sexuality.
The enjoyed this article. Very well written. I’m a beautiful, single gal that just turned 40 and deeply desire a exclusive lover that wants sex. I’m still a virgin and a cosmic odditity, guys tell me I’m super hot and beautiful, nice but generally love on for the nasty sluts. What they don’t know until I start flirting with them is that good girls are nasty sluts too, we just won’t take your money or cheat on you and nag you. I so desperately want to be fucked and cared for. The last guy Inwas talking to always wanted me to jerk gum off manually but wouldn’t do the one requirement that zinasked to be fucked. I just wanted to date and get comfortable with him. He’s a stranger and I don’t feel safe, at least not until I connect emotionally or mindfull.. But, he wouldn’t touch me alsway cancelled to go fuck the slut that has no requirements. I feel so let down, we were texting and seeing each other off and on for 2 years. In this 2 years the guy moves on and ghost me I must have sent him 5 videos and 100s of pictures begging for him. Texting him beautiful words and good vibes. All my friends can’t believe I’m still single and never been fucked. Ow ant it so baddd. Dear Jesus please help
First of all, thank you for the kind words and for the comment.
Second of all, I enjoyed your distinction between a “good” girl and a “bad” girl: a good girl is a “slut” who won’t cheat on her man or nag him or use him for his money.
Third of all, it sounds like the man you described doesn’t know how to appreciate a treasure when she lands in his lap. If you’re the type of woman who wants to be fucked but won’t fuck her man over–then he’s a ding dong for not seeing what a gem you are.
I also liked what you said about wanting to be fucked but also needing to feel cared for, safe, and to have an emotional connection. That was my point in this article (and in this whole blog)–to help guys become that kind of man to attract the kind of women that you described yourself to be.
Where are you from?
This is all bull$hit. Women have no idea what they want. They feed off emotion, not logic.
So, you know what women want? Your claim sounds black and white. Life (including women AND men) seems more complex than this dualism.
If it’s to unleash her sexuality, I’m with you on that one!
Damn! You are good. Loooove this piece.
THANK YOU Chinedu! I appreciate you taking the time to write that.
Well that’s totally wrong. Women want all that and a bag of chip too. Women should b slaves. Told what to do n when to do it. Then maybe this world wouldn’t b as f**k*d up as it is. Divorce rate at 60% cuz most of them can’t b loyal. Then dragging the man through financial hardship because she wanted another mans member. So now he has to pay her n the kids. Women are evil and don’t deserve respect of any sort. Now we’re supposed to give them what they want in the bedroom too. R u on planet earth with all the negative corruption. We gave women everything a man possibly could n they don’t stop there either. You give women the moon. They’ll want the solar system. You give them the solar system. Then they want the galaxy. I don’t really know how to end this I could probably write a book on how women don’t deserve to b equal to men. There greed is endless and apparently it doesn’t stop in the bedroom either.
Hey Gabe, it sounds like you’ve been hurt. And that sucks. Don’t forget women are human beings like you.
And they’re so different from each other. As a warning, making blanket generalizations based on a few bad experiences can disconnect us from reality and can lead us down some dark paths.
You can open a woman up like sunlight to a flower. This article is one way to do that.
daddy can u fuck me ????????
Glad you enjoyed the article!
I like the article and I am still looking for the one who is willing to cut loose anywhere anytime, most I have dated like My ex will all get wild in the bedroom but out doors or just anywhere around the house they be to a point and it’s no better not, I just say well if they are watching maybe they need to learn something, and if it freaks anyone out then maybe they just don’t get it either, I like it anytime anywhere and want a woman like that as well, so I will keep looking and reading things like this because I don’t think that our high school days are the only time or only girls who do and are ready to cut loose no matter what because if good in the bedroom like it’s been I can not see it any different any place else if we are getting to that point
I’m not sure if totally followed this train of thought. But I love your willingness to learn more. That is half the battle. Thanks for your comment “iwouldlikeitallit”!
Here is the real truth. I have been married… The sex was bla.. got divorced fucked other people which was fun even fucked my ex again and the sex was good made her squirt and all sorts of other things. She was totally different in bed. But so glad to be out of that situation….. whew.
If you are younger heed my advice!! Do not get married if you want a lot of sex! Wait wait wait wait. Get married because you want to have kids…and even then it is dicey.
Oh and when you have kids you are definitely not getting laid, but that is the point. Have your fun save the serious shit till you’re older.
By the way kids are awesome they are not the end of your life, your significant other may be however! hahaha (you’d think I was joking, but no).
When you are in your 20’s or at least look young you will have trouble with (most) women your own age. People who can grow a thick beard realize this because it makes them look older and young chicks dig it.
When you are young, older women will want you. It makes them feel younger which is what they want to be. Plus they are way more fun and adventurous then the younger women. Have fun with them, late 40’s and up there are some good looking ones still, go for those, and don’t be afraid they will love your advances even if they don’t take you up on it. They most likely have a son and won’t shit on you if you try. They will be more “motherly” to your ego.
Now here is the real gem, when you get older and have some grey in your hair/beard. I’m talking late 30’s into 40’s when you finally stop looking like a duche frat guy (but still try to stay in shape), you will get all the younger women and really hot ones too. They love older men because it is more taboo, they know they can get guys their age, but an “older sophisticated man who knows what he wants” …now that is a real turn on and challenge.
So here is my point. People want what they can’t have (or socially not supposed to). My ex wanted sex like crazy…why.. because she couldn’t have me anymore. I was mysterious, different and now unobtainable because we split. In her mind who knows who I’ve fucked by now…”how dare he!” … But damn it was an exciting turn on for her.
This a sad fact that will take most men a really long time to realize if ever. Think of it like an employer why would they pay you more unless you have something they need and are worried about losing you to another company. At a base level relationships are very similar.
Now think if you were “married” to said company, and if you decide to go to another company it would be an expensive legal process, at the end of which they had rights to half of your earnings from the beginning!
So if you are a young man and having problems getting laid don’t panic you will be really attractive when you are older and look the part. Have fun with older women in the mean time and get a bunch of confidence. Trust me the experience with older women will make you realize how dumb the younger girls you are trying to get with really are. This will also negate your nervousness around pretty women your age.
And for younger married guys you are just screwed, if you are in a bad marriage. Just realise it has nothing to do with you. It’s the situation and environment. So don’t beat yourself up. Just live to make yourself better and have goals that fulfill your dreams, inspite of what your significant other trys to keep you from doing. Remember your kids are watching you..do you want them to emulate your miserable relationship when they get older!!…???
And for women here is my only advice. Find a nice smart guy who isn’t super cocky and fuck his brains out, be a crazy slut (for him). He will provide for you, if that is what you want. “Men are like tile in a house, lay them down right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years” So stop being self destuctive and going for guys that are no good for you, you are laying down tile in a home that will never be yours no matter how hard u try!!!
Thanks for your comment Nuyabiswax. This was a long comment (and a bit rambly), but I appreciate your thoughts.
The trouble I think this comment gets into is in how it speaks in generalities. As an example, it’s not true that marriage means no sex, categorically. There’s much we can do to keep sex alive in a marriage. Not only that, sex with someone you love is pretty awesome.
Also, do younger men necessarily have to date older women to get laid? This blog explores how to attract women in any age range. You implied this when you said people are drawn towards those who want what they can’t have. There’s truth to that. I discuss this in the article “Flirting.” So, a younger guy can attract a younger woman by applying this principle.
(And hey, if a younger guy wants to go for an older woman, go for it. I agree older women are fun and great and much can be learned from them.)
Finally, I definitely agree that we must avoid making a woman our “integrating center.” This is a mistake we guys often make. It’s like building a house on sand rather than rock. I agree finding your higher purpose, developing your deepest gift and giving it to the world has more priority.
But I’m not sure if I agree that if a young man is married, he’s screwed. Or that if he’s in a bad marriage, it’s not his fault. Again, these are blanket statements.
It could be the “situation and environment” as you say. But I would encourage a guy to open lines of communication to pinpoint the specific problem and address it. Honest communication can strengthen a relationship or kill it. If honesty kills it, it could have been a house of cards. But I would encourage opening communication before concluding it’s just the situation…
Finally, your advice for women made me chuckle. I like the part about “laying” a guy. But I’m not so sure about doing so to “walk all over him for the next 20 years.” I agree no one should choose a person who’s bad for them. But I do think an ideal to strive for is a relationship that’s not about power struggle but about partnership. Like you said, finding the right fit goes a long way.
Outside of the generalities, there are some good tips here. Again, thanks for your comment Nuyabiswax!
I love being fucked hard, almost as if my partner is showing me is in charge. I need pounded often.
Thanks for the comment Anna ????????
I have told this same thing to friends that are having alot of problems in bedroom ,somehow alot of guys have been taught not to take their women and get rough in bed ,and wonder why she leaves him for total asshole well I’ll tell you why he’s giving her rough sex and all the things she says she doesn’t want its simple really they want to be taken, controlled, it’s
surprising liberating for her don’t be surprised when she starts attacking you for rough sex when she knows you’ll give it to her let her know you like both loving and rough she’ll appreciate you more
I appreciate what you’re saying about “taking” a woman. However, I didn’t say to control women.
I do mean it’s great to get animalistic and passionate. But this is just one crayon to color with. There are other colors too such as tenderness. And as you know, which crayon to use depends on mood. So, it’s important to tune into that and into her.
But you’re right. Fuck your woman. Take your woman. ‘Cause it shows how much you want your woman.