Category Archives: S1-S3 Seduction

No Foreplay till the SEVENTH phase of a pickup

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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Are you trying to tell me you don’t arouse her until the SEVENTH phase?

Exactly.

What’re you crazy?

Hey man, foreplay ain’t till the seventh phase of a pickup. What can I say? Attract her FIRST.

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That means open the set. Phase 1. Attract your target. Phase 2. And qualify your target. Phase 3. Duration: approximately 5 minutes.

Build trust and comfort with her SECOND.

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Isolate her in the venue you met her. Phase 4. Bounce her to a venue not in the pickup location and not in the seduction location. Phase 5. Invite her back to your place. Phase 6. Duration: a few hours.

THEN you can arouse her. Phase 7.

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So, you’re telling me not to kiss her until then?

No, no, no, no.

When you first kiss a girl it’s NOT to arouse her. It’s to build comfort. Kiss her for the first time during the comfort phase. And when you first kiss, DON’T be sticking your tongue down her throat, making out, or anything like that. Kiss on the lips (without tongue), then pull away.

There’s a classic example of this in Woody Allen’s “Annie Hall.” Check it out:

The first kiss is just to build comfort now. You eliminate the “friend zone.” And it makes it easier to get down and busy later when you’re alone with her.

Save foreplay for the SEVENTH phase. You’ll see some guys make out with a girl in public. Don’t do this. Save it for private. When you’ve attracted her and built a connection with her, THEN you can arouse her in private.

Wanna know the coolest part of waiting this long?

You build waaaaaaay more sexual tension.

For example, BEFORE foreplay:

  • DO touch her always, holding her hand, giving her a kiss, a massage, a playful nudge, whatever.
  • DO bounce her to several locations before you invite her back to your place.
  • DO introduce her to other people, so she sees you’re a social person.
  • DO say “I’m trying so hard not to kiss you” before you kiss.
  • DO say “Let’s slow this down” when you first kiss. And pull away.
  • DO always be willing to walk away, never crowding her or supplicating to her.
  • DO have her sit down when she comes into the seduction location, get her a drink, talk, relax for a bit. DON’T pounce on her.

By that time she’ll often do the seduction for you.

In a way, all this IS foreplay. Maybe what I should say is: don’t AROUSE her till the seventh phase of a pickup.

After you’ve talked a bit in the living room, kiss her again. You’ve been doing it all along. But now you can kiss her to AROUSE her.

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And lead her into the bedroom.

My point is, no need to rush into sex. Do touch and kiss for those few hours before she’s alone in a seduction location with you. Hold off on arousing her till that private time. You’ll build sexual tension, sidestep last minute resistance (phase 8), make sex (phase 9) something she wants, and avoid “buyer’s remorse” later.

Okay, fine. But how do arouse her during this “seventh” phase?

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THAT’S an excellent question. I’ve got some stuff on all that in the “Sex” section of this website. Check it out if you’d like. But it’s basically the same principle. The more anticipation and teasing and not-rushing-into-sex you do, the more aroused she gets. Funny how that works, huh?

Turn on her mind, and her panties will follow. That’s the whole beauty of waiting till the seventh phase.

First Time Sex

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I’m gonna let Mystery talk about first time sex here. He’s got some great words of wisdom.

Mystery: First time sex is very important.

I live in a world of abundance. Seriously. Do you know how many WOMEN are out there?

So, first time sex is NOT about trying to get your rocks off. Have sex with her because you legitimately LIKE this girl.

Sleep with ’em because you like ’em.

I’ve gone through my rockstar phase. I’ve had some hot girls… but they weren’t QUALITY. Crazy, huh?

I personally only go after women who has a sexuality and a personality about them that keeps me engaged.

First time sex is important. Practice up to that part. But don’t have sex with a girl and afterwards you’re like I don’t want to see her again.

Wouldn’t you rather look down and say, “Oh my God! I can’t believe she’s laying here next to me. I deserve this, but holy shit. I’m gonna do my best to be the best man possible, ’cause she inspires me.”

This is from an interview he did with David DeAngelo of David’s “Interviews with Dating Gurus” series.

It’s a point well taken. Be careful who you have sex with. Don’t have sex just to get your rocks off or feed your ego or brag to the guys “I conquered her.” Have sex with her because you actually like her.

So, practice pickup up to the point of sex. And if she’s a girl you honestly like, go for it.

If you are gonna go for it, here are some quick rules of thumb to follow.

1. Tease her, give her lots of arousal, and build anticipation. That means there’s absolutely no rush to stick your dick into her. The more she’s worked up before you enter her, the closer she’ll be to the edge of orgasm. And make sure she comes before you do.

2. There’s no need to be silent just because you’re in bed with her. Talk with her. Tell her how beautiful she looks, describe what you’re doing and use dirty words like “fuck,” “cock,” and “pussy.” Tell her what to do and tell her you like what she’s doing. If you’re feeling good, express it. Make noise. You love to hear a woman get turned on, right? Same thing with women. They love to hear you’re getting turned on.

3. Dominate her, ravish her, unleash the animal inside. But also be sensitive enough to listen to her body and her moans and respond to her accordingly. It’s very much like a conversation. Listen, and respond. It’s not a monologue where you do all the talking or where you’re performing. You’re CONNECTING with this real live human being right here, right now, right in front of you.

4. Enjoy yourself as if you’re eating the most delicious meal you’ve ever had. It’s so delicious and fills you with such pleasure you don’t want it to end. If you make sure to enjoy yourself, I guarantee she’ll enjoy herself too.

I’ve got more stuff on this under the category “Sex.”

Oh, and one last thing. Have fun.

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Last Minute Resistance

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Just before you have sex with a girl for the first time, sometimes you’ll encounter what Mystery calls “Last Minute Resistance.” Also known as “LMR” in the pickup community.

There’s a way to pre-empt this so it won’t even come up.

And if it does come up, there’s a smart way to handle it so a girl feels comfortable enough having sex.

The difference between knowing what to do in this situation and what not to do is the difference between a boy who whines and panics, and a man who maintains a strong lead.

Before I get into the how-to, let’s try to see where a girl is coming from when this happens.

There are nine total phases in a pickup sequence: open (A1), attraction (A2), and qualification (A3) in the ATTRACT PHASE; comfort in the pickup location (C1), comfort in neither the pickup location nor the seduction location (C2), and comfort in the seduction location (C3) in the COMFORT PHASE; foreplay (S1), last minute resistance (S2), and sex (S3) in the SEDUCTION PHASE.

The objective of S2 or “Last Minute Resistance” is to ease a girl’s hard-wired reaction to first time sex. So, let’s try to see where she’s coming from when this happens.

Mystery has a great way of breaking all this down. I’ve heard him say her Last Minute Resistance is similar to our First Minute Resistance. They feel a similar anxiety just before sex that we feel just before we approach a girl. There’s a reason Mystery made this connection.

Women have said what they feel just before they have sex for the first time is it’s like having $10,000 on red and the ball is spinning. “C’mon red, c’mon red.”

All that she’s feeling is: “Is this man going to stick around?” It doesn’t mean she wants you to actually stick around but she wants the option to be hers. Also, some girls get this anxiety because they don’t want to be seen as a slut by you or her friends, too.

The LMR pang goes away when she knows: sex or no sex you’re gonna stick around. And she’s not a slut for having sex. In fact, take full responsibility for making the sex happen. That way she can tell her friends “it just happened, it wasn’t my fault.”

So, here’s what to do.

Start your LMR campaign… knowing that you’ll be there later… 10 MINUTES INTO THE SET. For example, let’s say you’re sitting down with her in the pickup location building comfort for the first time, and she goes to the bathroom. When she comes back say something like this:

“Not to give you a big head or anything but when you left all I wanted was for you to hurry up and get your ass back here. ‘Cause there was no one else I wanted to talk to. Don’t get me wrong, you could lose me in a heart beat, but that was a feeling I wanted to share with you.”

This pre-empts LMR. So, when she’s in bed with you later and has that pang “is he gonna stick around?” she thinks back and remembers what you said.

In other words, to pre-empt LMR, let her know I’m not just going to have sex with you and forget about you. I’m gonna stick around. And it’s not my choice. My HEART is telling me to stick around. I’m thinking about you, I WANT to call you. It’s not some rational duty. You’ve hijacked my emotional heart.

She needs to know all that. She needs to know you like her for legitimate reasons, as a human being, and you’re not going to just use her.

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If she knows that, her LMR circuit won’t even fire.

If her LMR still fires, here’s what you do.

Agree with her and stop. Put absolutely NO pressure on her to have sex.

Here’s what some other guys might do.

HER: “We should stop.”

GUY: “But baby what’s wrong…” And then LOGIC her to death.

Instead, say this: “I know. We should stop. We shouldn’t be doing this. And we certainly shouldn’t be doing this!” Then playfully nibble her ear or something. Make her laugh and turn her on at the same time. Haha. Love it.

I mean, she’s in bed with you. It’s just token resistance at this point. She just wants you to know she doesn’t normally do this. That’s all.

So, here’s what to remember.

1. Let her know during the comfort phase that you won’t leave her.

2. Let her know during the comfort phase that the word “slut” is bullshit and you respect spontaneous, adventurous women.

3. If you still get LMR during the seduction phase, agree, stop, and try again later.

4. One last point. If you give her lots of arousal during foreplay, believe me, she’ll want sex.

And that’s it.

Just remember, women LOVE sex. They WANT to get fucked. She might struggle with a little anxiety beforehand, but she wants it. It’s your job to make her FEEL… let me emphasize that word, FEEL, not intellectually debate, manipulate or force, FEEL… comfortable getting what she really, really wants anyway.

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The word “Slut” is Bullshit

Let’s talk about “Last Minute Resistance” for a sec.

There’s a myth about this.

The myth is you have to deal with a woman’s last minute resistance to having sex with you right before sex.

Of course getting that last minute resistance does happen.

But if you deal with last minute resistance EARLIER in your game, by eliminating the word “slut” from your vocabulary, you won’t have to deal with the resistance so late.

Often times her resistance has to do with not feeling comfortable enough having sex after meeting you so soon.

She doesn’t want to be seen as a “slut.” If she resists, it makes her feel like she’s not being slutty.

She needs to feel like it “just happened”…

you’re not going to judge her…

her friends aren’t going to judge her…

you’re not going to never call her again…

you’re not going to broadcast the news over the internet.

So, make it clear having sex is AWESOME! It DOES NOT EQUAL slut. And take the decision-making process out of her hands. YOU take the lead, so she doesn’t have to take responsibility for it. Make it so that she can tell her friends “it just happened” or “it was his fault.”

Most important, make it clear earlier during your comfort-building conversation you respect women who are adventurous, spontaneous, who love sex. Plant that seed early on and she’ll be less likely to resist sex later on at the last minute.

When you’re NON-JUDGMENTAL, you AVOID last minute resistance, and you make her feel comfortable with sex.

But that’s not the only reason you should eliminate the word “slut” from your vocabulary.

Honest-to-God the whole concept is…

Bullshit.

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

BULLSHIT!

There’s no equivalent word for a man. I mean the word is derogatory. It’s an insult for women. What word is there in our language to insult men for sleeping with lots of women?

What’s that you say?

Male slut? Pimp? Ladies’ Man?

Compliments. All of ’em.

Why? Why is it a compliment for men to sleep with lots of women but it’s wrong for women to have that same freedom?

In logic, when two premises collide like this, it’s called inconsistency. Inconsistency is an invalid argument.

Language is funny. You can actually create a reality out of language.

What do I mean?

Man and woman having sex. Sheer fact. Nothing good, nothing bad about it.

Then you apply the word “slut” to the woman.

All of a sudden, it makes a woman feel uneasy, nervous, guilty… basically like shit… for something that’s…

JUST FUCKING SEX!

A FACT of life… that BOTH the man and woman are doing.

A fact of life that’s creative, pleasurable, brings life into the world, binds people together, loving.

A fact of life that’s GORGEOUS.

Slut = moralistic judgment based on a human construction, not reality.

The word “slut” is bullshit. The sooner you get rid of that thinking, the sooner women will want to fuck your brains out.

Make her feel safe. A no-slut zone does just that.

How A Woman Must Be Touched

One night, I watched her at the window in her sleep. I noticed for the first time, how a woman’s underclothes barely touches her skin. How it rides on a cushion of air as she moves. How the silk floats about her body, brushing her flesh like an angel’s wings, and I understood how a woman must be touched.

-Don Juan DeMarco

 

The quote appears about 5:23 in this clip.